Should I participate in FE or is it just drama?

[Msmit002]

Oh... that FE FB Group.... Never have I seen more petty nonsense than that group. The FE thing is designed to be a fun little gift exchange. A little bit of Pixie Dust, if you will. Not a competition on who is more crafty/original/well off but you would never know it based on that group of grumpy grouses.

Is it work? Yes. But, if it is work you enjoy, then have fun with it. But remember this is just like giving gifts for any other occasion: if you are giving to get then you have missed the entire point of what 'gifting' is all about. Clearly these other folks on the FB FE group have lost slight of this and, quite frankly, I feel bad for them because it is quite likely a glimpse of their personal life and every holiday their friends and family have to endure.

My first Disney cruise, we didn't do the FE. I was already overwhelmed by cruising on a new and different cruise line with our young son and we were fine. Our second cruise, we participated. It was fun mostly because we went in with absolutely NO expectations and it was fun to get to know the ship by delivering our 10 little bags of tchotchkes from our home state. We got some really neat little things and my son thought it was super cool to get little surprises throughout the cruise. There are a few things we STILL have and use now 4 years after that cruise. This upcoming cruise, it is just DH and I and I decide to participate again because I have gotten to 'know' the folks on my sailing through our little FB group and they all seem genuinely nice and a great group to be around and have fun with and I feel like I WANT to give a little something to these folks.

But, it is a little work before and during your cruise and there is cost involved (no matter how small you decide to go) and yes, you do have to worry about transporting not only your gifts to give (I just ship a box to my embarkation port hotel) but also the gifts you receive. But by no means is it mandatory nor do you have to even join an organized group if all you want to do is pixie dust your kids. I've seen folks put out a hanger and then just drop stuff in for their kids at whatever interval they set. I don't quite get this one myself, but I also don't understand all of the brouhaha behind this Elf on the Shelf thing, so there you go.

 

[CamColt]

I've done it twice and while it was fun and low key, and we had great groups both times, I find its more of a hassle than anything. I can't be bothered getting stuff together(1 more thing to stress about pretrip), lugging it to the ship, and then having to pack up all sort of little gizmos on that last night. I have to say I'm surprised what a big deal it has become and how I see some people act like that's the only reason to take a cruise anymore, LOL! IMO, it's really not that big of a deal.

 

[DisneySunPrincess]

I honestly think that the FE is overblown. Some of the hangers are ridiculously too big, people complain about theft. This is one activity I wish DCL would ban. The DCL ships are very well decorated and then you have these tacky wall hangings throughout the ship.

That is very easy for someone who does not participate or doesn't care to say. I am currently running the FE group and FB page for my cruise and while it is a ton of work, it is also something that greatly extends my vacation experience. I LOVE FE and would be VERY sad if the cruise line were to ban it. At least 90% of the hangers are of no issue to anyone walking down the hallway, and there is no need for Disney to ban the experience. They don't have anything to do with it, one way or the other. It is a VOLUNTARY group. No one is required to be involved, and most of us know what the risks involved are. Frankly, if someone gives us small gifts, regardless of the fact that I go out of my way to make my gifts and purchase some additionally, I would not be upset. I know that this is for FUN, not stress. And it certainly is not about keeping track of who gave what. My groups are limited to 10 cabins each and the ONLY rule is that each person deliver to each stateroom in their group at least one time during the cruise. That's it. No budget rules, etc.

I guess all I am trying to say with my long diatribe is that before people "wish" that Disney would ban an activity, they would think about how much it might mean to someone who isn't them. Rant over.

 

[Pens Fan]

I understand that some people enjoy FE's, but our family has never participated. It's just not our thing. I've never felt the need to prepare, lug to port, and spend time delivering random stuff to strangers on vacation. It's pretty much the opposite of what I think about when it comes to vacation. Nor do I care about getting random stuff each day either. If we want souvenirs from our trip, we buy them. My favorite souvenirs are the pictures we take and memories we make as a family.

OP, if this is causing you stress, skip it. I think people get a false sense about FE's on these boards. The majority of people do NOT participate. You will not feel left out if you don't as well. Yes, you will see them hanging on some doors, but it's not as if every other door has a fish extender. We took three DCL cruises before I ever even heard about the Disboards, and I'm not of Facebook. I can honestly say that we never once even noticed the FE's. I'm sure they were there, but it wasn't something we noticed or thought about.

 

[gotomu212]

We participated in a few but have backed off of joining future ones now. My issue isn't that some people don't spend the same amount (some of our favorite gifts we're not expensive but very thoughtful). It's the thought that counts BUT I felt like some people put zero thought into it. We did beach bag totes customized to our cruise and spent a lot of time customizing them. In return we got half empty sticker sheets and ziplocks with 2 bandaids and a wet wipe, etc. It felt like those were people you wanted to spend $5 total on the whole FE group and then reap the benefits. It just left us feeling let down (and then guilty for feeling that way) so we just scrapped the whole idea.

In the beginning I feel like the point of FEs was to have fun and it didn't need to be overblown but it just got really off balanced for us.

 

[llachance]

I think that it is the expectation. I have participated a couple of times and my daughter wants to participate this time. I typically give a "family" gift and leave it to that. Trying to sort out kids and girls and boys is stressful (I did it once) and I don't have that much time in my life If we get something at our door great - if not it won't ruin my cruise

 

[OrcaPotter]

I never understood the FE thing. Like others said, it's your vacation. Why are you stressing on buying, lugging, and delivering gifts to strangers... especially if they're not going to be appreciated based on what they think they're worth? I can see how it started, and that's nice. I have more fun making magnets for the friends who travel with me, and they appreciate them more than me playing Santa. To those who do FE and enjoy it, that's great and as long as you continue to see its worth, there's no reason to stop. IMHO, the moment a shred of stress about it hits, it's not worth it.

 

[HeatherLassell]

I honestly think that the FE is overblown. Some of the hangers are ridiculously too big, people complain about theft. This is one activity I wish DCL would ban. The DCL ships are very well decorated and then you have these tacky wall hangings throughout the ship.

Well considering Disney is now selling it's own version of the fish extender I doubt they have any problems with the FE exchanges.

 

[DisneySunPrincess]

Well considering Disney is now selling it's own version of the fish extender I doubt they have any problems with the FE exchanges.

It is also because no other cruise line has Fish Extender exchanges, so it is another tool for Disney that in some cases keeps people coming back or another "perk" that they don't have to lift a finger for.

 

[undertheradar]

Well considering Disney is now selling it's own version of the fish extender I doubt they have any problems with the FE exchanges.

Having witnessed guests complaining at Guest Services that items must have been stolen from a FE and what was DCL going to do about it, time will tell how long DCL allows this. I enjoyed watching the concierge explain to a guest in the lounge that it was not a concierge service to deliver FE gifts.

 

[Carey_B]

If you take it as just a bit of fun and don't have a lot of expectations about what you will receive then it'll be good.. I'm excited to take part

 

[Bethany10]

If it's going to stress you out, don't do it.

This!! We will be first time cruisers next year, and I've dithered about doing an FE. What sealed the deal for me is knowing I'd undoubtedly go overboard with the stuff. Not the point of the cruise.

I'm planning on making 2 or 3 pixie dust items, if I see a FE that I think is cute, or if it feels like I can brighten someone's day with my pixie dust then that's what I'll do.

I'd drop the FB group and move on, it seems like that's what's causing you stress.

 

[lspst8]

I've participated in a FE on all of my cruises but my first one. I think it is really fun, but those Large FB groups are the worst. I've always received nice things --and you get some stickers/dollar store stuff, but my kids love that stuff! For our last cruise I made tile coasters for each room. I've also done Pittsburgh themed gifts and painted picture frames for other cruises. I usually pick up some small things at 5 Below for the kids. I've never seen anyone complain that actually participated in the exchange - everyone is typically very grateful and appreciative of the gifts.

 

[LSUfan4444]

OP..I think it's good to do once to definitely see if you like it. Is it something I want to do every trip, definitely not but it's fun to experience especially for those with small children. We gave all our gifts out on the first night and was done with "the work" and like with any gift, I am not giving with the expectation of receiving something of equal value in return.

 

[3Down1Up]

@Disneytreasure only you can decide if an FE will stress you out too much. Do you like crafts? Even if you buy all your gifts, there is some "crafting" in putting everything together for each cabin. Do you like giving gifts? That's my motivation - to be honest, every time I've done FEs, I haven't received gifts from all cabins. What I enjoy is putting everything together, my kids' excitement when we get gifts . . . and delivering the gifts is fun as well - we make it a family activity. We've received gifts ranging from handmade, wonderfully-done gifts to dollar store items, and we've used all of them. So don't get caught up in discussions about costs and people complaining about cheap stuff. They don't have the true spirit of FEs at heart.

 

[thumpie's mom]

I personally never had any desire to get involved with the whole "exchange" thing - I'm on vacation to have fun and relax, not run around the ship delivering gifts.

But I remember a couple of years ago on here there was someone bragging about how she kept a spreadsheet with who she got gifts from and what the people gave - and she held off until the last day to deliver hers...only to those whose gifts she deemed worthy of something in return.

IMHO it sounds like your group is more drama than it's worth - especially for something like a cruise vacation that should be fun and relaxing. (Though I don't blame people for not wanting those stupid spinners. Annoying pieces of junk!)

If you want your kids to have the FE experience, you can do your own family FE and just leave your own things in there for your kids.

We enjoy doing the FE's, but we DO NOT join a group. Before the cruise we make Disney themed items and randomly go around the ship and "pixie dust" the FE hangers. It is a fun way to spend some time while the ship is in port since we don't disembark. It also gives us something cruise related to do while we wait for our actual cruise to get here. It should be fun and not something to be stressed over.

 

[bcwife76]

We participated for our first cruise and I drove myself (not to mention my husband) nuts with how stressed out I was with it all! I swore I wouldn't do it again - then I did it this past January for our second cruise and I chose a much simpler gift. It was great. So I signed up again for our Alaska cruise - much to the chagrin of my husband. This will absolutely be our last time participating. I've again stressed myself out (and I'm doing it to myself, no one else is stressing me out about this) with some gifts. Ugh. lol So yeah, I'm done after this one. For sure! But in terms of people being crabby about the gifts they receive etc, I've never come across that in any of our groups.

 

[bcwife76]

We enjoy doing the FE's, but we DO NOT join a group. Before the cruise we make Disney themed items and randomly go around the ship and "pixie dust" the FE hangers. It is a fun way to spend some time while the ship is in port since we don't disembark. It also gives us something cruise related to do while we wait for our actual cruise to get here. It should be fun and not something to be stressed over.

That is actually a fabulous idea!! I think I might do that going forward.

 

[DCLDVC1]

It just left us feeling let down (and then guilty for feeling that way) so we just scrapped the whole idea.

In the beginning I feel like the point of FEs was to have fun and it didn't need to be overblown but it just got really off balanced for us.

I feel the same way. The first few times were enjoyable and then it turned into a chore. There were few expectations from everyone and I think that's changed with the increase in FE focused FB groups. A few years ago, the gifts seemed to be more original. The last time we did the FE we received a lot of the same stuff - sundae kits, light cards, etc.

The popularity of the FE seems to be growing rapidly though. In the FB cruise groups I'm in, FE talk dominates the discussion and there are a lot of first time cruisers participating.

 

[Rabb it]

Yeah, it really sounds like more trouble than it's worth. Whenever you get that many people involved in something together that's publically run you're bound to have conflicting opinions on how things should be run. I'm going on vacation to relax, not to stress about gifts and whether or not someone thinks they're good enough, no thank you! I would pass on the drama group.

But, that's just me! Up to you.