How to get him back on board?

[twinsouvenirs]

So, my husband didn't LOVE the 7 day Western Caribbean we just took on the Fantasy. It was our first cruise, so we didn't know what to expect--although we are WDW regulars and I suspect perhaps our expectations were too high.

I'm not even sure where his specific issues lie, but I snagged the onboard booking deal and have 2 years now to try it again. We stayed in an Ocean View Family w/Verandah with our three kids. I suspect that he felt like
a) the kids clubs weren't really fun for our kids (they repeatedly said they wanted to be picked up)
b) the room was small to be in with 5 people, with little privacy, and since our kids were young we enforced quiet time
c) we didn't get to do as much relaxing
d) dining seemed hard, for lack of a better word--we normally eat in our room at WDW and we don't love restaurant dining generally with our little kids.
e) I think he missed the internet and his cell phone games etc.
f) all the logistics (hotel stays, port transfers, etc)
g) sunscreen, heat, crowds, etc... we almost always travel in the off season to WDW when it's not super crowded and it's cooler
h) the price (over 10k when we normally spend 3k on a vacation)

So I'm considering the following:
-a shorter cruise
-a port we can drive to (i.e. New York) to eliminate the hotel stay & airport hassle
-different destinations (Bermuda?--Problem with this is that we will not get to go to Castaway Cay)
-a concierge 1 bedroom (for the space and the booze)

Thoughts? Or should I just give up and bring my mom in his place?

 

[bbn1122]

I think you really have to like the cruise experience to cruise.

Our first cruise our boys were 10, 12 and 16. So, that made it easier and more enjoyable. We are not huge Disney crazy family, but love everything about Disney World and DCL. We are Disney Vacation Club owners, due to being a family of 5 and liking our space and kitchen when we vacation. But most of all we love the Disney service.

DH and I treat the crusie ship like an all-inclusive resort. Everything is so close and convenient and the service is fantastic. I for one love the dining rooms, because I do not have to do anything. Love the rotational dining and Palo brunches. We love going to the movies together. We never get to do that in our daily lives. And we enjoy the relaxation of the cruise.

We did sail concierge a few years ago and loved. We would do it everytime if we could afford it.

Our boys are now 17, 19 and 23. So, our next two cruises are out of NYC and just the two of us. We are sailing to Canada this October and next to Bermuda.

Concierge, NYC and Bermuda may make it more enjoyable for him. I know I would be thrilled!!!

Good luck.

 

[Dug720]

Some people just don't like cruising.

Good luck! But if he puts up a fuss about it, just take your mother and have a wonderful time. Nothing worse than dragging someone along who doesn't want to be there IMHO.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm not even sure where his specific issues lie

Start with talking to him a few times about this. Get to know what his issues actually were.

a) the kids clubs weren't really fun for our kids (they repeatedly said they wanted to be picked up)

So they love you! They wanted to be with you. That's ok. My cousins kids asked to leave the club, too, and she's decided that that means they don't get to cruise anymore. It's mystifying to me. If my kid loves me and wants to hang out with me, that's bonus time. If my kid loves hanging out with other kids and closes the club down every night (and that IS our situation), it's bonus me time. Except that I get lonely.

c) we didn't get to do as much relaxing

Yeah, that's a family vacation for ya! When kids are little you want a vacation after a vacation. That's why we tend to go to universal after a cruise, because onsite deluxes there allow for a vacation.

h) the price (over 10k when we normally spend 3k on a vacation)

That's a large number. I don't know how people get value out of a vacation when spending that much money.

I would recommend looking at another cruise line.

d) dining seemed hard, for lack of a better word--we normally eat in our room at WDW and we don't love restaurant dining generally with our little kids.

So eat at cabanas. Eat at the poolside venues. There's no law that says you have to go to the dining room.

f) all the logistics (hotel stays, port transfers, etc)

Huh. Those seem so simple once you work them out.


Talk to him. There's no need to work this out in a vacuum. He's got the info you need.

 

[Anchors Away 2016]

I think you have a lot of things going in your favor, but ultimately, it will come down to his perspective. If he didn't like it, doesn't want to spend the money, and doesn't want to try again, you might be able to convince him to go, but you're unlike to get him to like it.

However, if he is open-minded to trying it again, there are several things that might make him like it more.

Some of them will happen automatically. Now that you've done it once, you know what to expect. You also have done some of the "must-do" things already, so the cruise can already be more relaxed. Also, you don't mention the ages of your kids, but they will be a bit older too, and it won't be their first time either. Maybe they will be more manageable at restaurants. Maybe they will like the kids clubs more. You could practice restaurants with them between now and then. Practice makes better.

And if he wants to relax on vacation, very few things beat a cruise. No cars to drive around. No need to "go" to the theme parks or whatever. Everything is right there. When we go to WDW it can take an hour or more to get out the door. On the cruise, we could mix it up, split into smaller groups, come and go, etc.


Other things you could do based on what you said,

-Try to give him some alone time in the adult areas (you should have some too). The adult spaces are really great for relaxing and slowing down. Maybe your kids would enjoy an hour or so now and then at the kids clubs to give the two of you time alone together.
-You mentioned alcohol. If that helps him be in a vacation mood, you don't necessarily need to go concierge, just budget for it ahead of time. Call it part of the cost, then don't feel guilty when you spend it for that.
-Same for the Internet. If that is one of the ways he likes to unwind, just build in an $89, 1 GB package or two. No different than paying for an excursion or a massage. We all relax in our own way.

Another, larger solution, could involve your mother since you mentioned her. If that is an option, would it be feasible to bring her along? Do she and your husband get along? That would give you two staterooms, even if all of your kids slept in one room with you, if you got connecting rooms, you two could hang out with her in her room while your kids slept in the evenings. (Book one child in her room on paper, but DCL doesn't mind who sleeps where.) This would also give you another option for getting some alone time. I'm sure the kids would like some time alone with their grandmother while you did some things with your husband. When my children were small, we traveled to WDW with BOTH sets of parents, and got a three-bedroom condo. Our parents loved their time with their grandsons, our children loved having their grandparents share their trip, and it made it easier for all of us to enjoy things.

In any case, have a great time. You have a family that enjoys being together. That's the important part. You can now work out the rest. Who knows in a year or so, the fond memories and pictures may find him wanting to try a cruise again!

 

[Quellman]

So, my husband didn't LOVE the 7 day Western Caribbean we just took on the Fantasy. It was our first cruise, so we didn't know what to expect--although we are WDW regulars and I suspect perhaps our expectations were too high.

I'm not even sure where his specific issues lie, but I snagged the onboard booking deal and have 2 years now to try it again. We stayed in an Ocean View Family w/Verandah with our three kids. I suspect that he felt like
a) the kids clubs weren't really fun for our kids (they repeatedly said they wanted to be picked up)
a. kids clubs matter more to certain age groups and kids. We only put ours in the club when there was scheduled programming that was interesting/relevant to their intrests. And we never let him stay there for more than about 90 minutes (he's four).
b) the room was small to be in with 5 people, with little privacy, and since our kids were young we enforced quiet time
b. you could try two connecting inside rooms, or an exterior room with an inside across the hall. Sure you have to split up the adults, but it is a way to potentially save cost (see h price)
c) we didn't get to do as much relaxing
c. can't help you with your relaxing, as with 3 kids I am sure it is difficult. It would be beneficial to maybe divide an conquer. One kid in the club, the other two with one adult on the pool deck for about an hour and the other adult off doing adult things.
d) dining seemed hard, for lack of a better word--we normally eat in our room at WDW and we don't love restaurant dining generally with our little kids.
d. what was hard about it? wrangling 3 kids in preparation for dinner? making sure they all eat? The ship does offer the option of cabanas buffet all all but the first and last night, that may suit your family better if you do not want to do room service or quick service on the pool deck
e) I think he missed the internet and his cell phone games etc.
e. a shame really.
f) all the logistics (hotel stays, port transfers, etc)
f. the logistics can be simple if you want to pay. Fly in to MCO, spend the night at the airport (or one of the nearby ones that has a shuttle service) and then take the Disney bus to the port. Then the Disney bus back to the airport after your trip. The hardest part is figuring where you want to stay. There are also many private car companies that will pick you up and drop you off for likely less than Disney.
g) sunscreen, heat, crowds, etc... we almost always travel in the off season to WDW when it's not super crowded and it's cooler
g. August in the Caribbean is hot. No way around that. We sailed end of May this year and it wasn't exactly cool.
h) the price (over 10k when we normally spend 3k on a vacation)
h. I made one suggestion in section b. but with the number of kids you are going to be paying more for the cruise than a land vacation. Also the time of year mattes.

I responded to your comments in red above. But I agree with @Dug720 too. It may not be for everyone.
Cruising out of a port is always a great choice, but Disney out of NYC is going to cost you more than other more 'year round' lines out of NYC. So looking at another line may be best from a cost perspective. Not sure how important concierge would be for the 'free' alcohol if you don't have any time to enjoy it because you are wrangling 3 kids. Also, there is a HUGE cost difference from ocean view to concierge.

 

[lizabu]

It sounds like some of the things he didn't like were kid related. And some were crowd related. I recommend leaving the kids at home and go by yourselves. If that's non negotiable wait until they're older and can sit at a dining table without driving you both nuts. And cruise the smaller ships off season for lower rates and smaller crowds. My husband and I did the Disney magic five night out of Miami in January 2016 for $1086. Disney cruises don't have to cost $10,000.

 

[RedSox68]

So, my husband didn't LOVE the 7 day Western Caribbean we just took on the Fantasy. It was our first cruise, so we didn't know what to expect--although we are WDW regulars and I suspect perhaps our expectations were too high.

I'm not even sure where his specific issues lie, but I snagged the onboard booking deal and have 2 years now to try it again. We stayed in an Ocean View Family w/Verandah with our three kids. I suspect that he felt like
a) the kids clubs weren't really fun for our kids (they repeatedly said they wanted to be picked up)
b) the room was small to be in with 5 people, with little privacy, and since our kids were young we enforced quiet time
c) we didn't get to do as much relaxing
d) dining seemed hard, for lack of a better word--we normally eat in our room at WDW and we don't love restaurant dining generally with our little kids.
e) I think he missed the internet and his cell phone games etc.
f) all the logistics (hotel stays, port transfers, etc)
g) sunscreen, heat, crowds, etc... we almost always travel in the off season to WDW when it's not super crowded and it's cooler
h) the price (over 10k when we normally spend 3k on a vacation)

So I'm considering the following:
-a shorter cruise
-a port we can drive to (i.e. New York) to eliminate the hotel stay & airport hassle
-different destinations (Bermuda?--Problem with this is that we will not get to go to Castaway Cay)
-a concierge 1 bedroom (for the space and the booze)

Thoughts? Or should I just give up and bring my mom in his place?

If you didn't think you did enough relaxing on a 7-night, a shorter cruise is going to feel hectic. We don't like the shorter cruises because we feel you no sooner get on and get in the groove, and it's time to get off.

Maybe your husband just doesn't like cruising

Maybe a one-week vacation at Universal with a visit to Seaworld for something different.

 

[iamporch]

It sounds like some of the things he didn't like were kid related. And some were crowd related. I recommend leaving the kids at home and go by yourselves. If that's non negotiable wait until they're older and can sit at a dining table without driving you both nuts. And cruise the smaller ships off season for lower rates and smaller crowds. My husband and I did the Disney magic five night out of Miami in January 2016 for $1086. Disney cruises don't have to cost $10,000.

The $10,000 I am guessing is the total trip cost. We are going in a couple of weeks so non peak time and as a family of 6 I have yet to find a cruise where the total cost wouldn't cost us that much. By the time you add in flights, hotel the night before, tips for 5/6 people, transportation to and from port, trip insurance all of which add a couple thousand at least to the trip total. Excursions on top of that.

I have a feeling my husband is going to feel exactly the same way as yours OP after our cruise in a couple weeks. I am not doubting he will enjoy it, but I don't think he will be able to justify paying this price again for a vacation. Its just a lot for larger family.

 

[RedSox68]

The $10,000 I am guessing is the total trip cost. We are going in a couple of weeks so non peak time and as a family of 6 I have yet to find a cruise where the total cost wouldn't cost us that much. By the time you add in flights, hotel the night before, tips for 5/6 people, transportation to and from port, trip insurance all of which add a couple thousand at least to the trip total. Excursions on top of that.

I have a feeling my husband is going to feel exactly the same way as yours OP after our cruise in a couple weeks. I am not doubting he will enjoy it, but I don't think he will be able to justify paying this price again for a vacation. Its just a lot for larger family.

Yes, price out other lines -- who also have great kid clubs and lots to do onboard and similar itineraries to Disney. You can save thousands.

 

[twinsouvenirs]

The $10,000 I am guessing is the total trip cost. We are going in a couple of weeks so non peak time and as a family of 6 I have yet to find a cruise where the total cost wouldn't cost us that much. By the time you add in flights, hotel the night before, tips for 5/6 people, transportation to and from port, trip insurance all of which add a couple thousand at least to the trip total. Excursions on top of that.

I have a feeling my husband is going to feel exactly the same way as yours OP after our cruise in a couple weeks. I am not doubting he will enjoy it, but I don't think he will be able to justify paying this price again for a vacation. Its just a lot for larger family.

I think that's the problem too--feeling like the cost was worth it. Our cruise fare alone was about $12k, not including flights/hotels/photos/transfers/gratuities, etc.

 

[twinsouvenirs]

Yes, price out other lines -- who also have great kid clubs and lots to do onboard and similar itineraries to Disney. You can save thousands.

I think we're not going to be inclined to cruise another line--I probably wouldn't consider another one so soon except I booked the bounceback offer!!! I suppose I could always just walk away from the $250 and stick to our WDW trips

 

[MUN]

So, my husband didn't LOVE the 7 day Western Caribbean we just took on the Fantasy. It was our first cruise, so we didn't know what to expect--although we are WDW regulars and I suspect perhaps our expectations were too high.

I'm not even sure where his specific issues lie, but I snagged the onboard booking deal and have 2 years now to try it again. We stayed in an Ocean View Family w/Verandah with our three kids. I suspect that he felt like
a) the kids clubs weren't really fun for our kids (they repeatedly said they wanted to be picked up)
b) the room was small to be in with 5 people, with little privacy, and since our kids were young we enforced quiet time
c) we didn't get to do as much relaxing
d) dining seemed hard, for lack of a better word--we normally eat in our room at WDW and we don't love restaurant dining generally with our little kids.
e) I think he missed the internet and his cell phone games etc.
f) all the logistics (hotel stays, port transfers, etc)
g) sunscreen, heat, crowds, etc... we almost always travel in the off season to WDW when it's not super crowded and it's cooler
h) the price (over 10k when we normally spend 3k on a vacation)

So I'm considering the following:
-a shorter cruise
-a port we can drive to (i.e. New York) to eliminate the hotel stay & airport hassle
-different destinations (Bermuda?--Problem with this is that we will not get to go to Castaway Cay)
-a concierge 1 bedroom (for the space and the booze)

Thoughts? Or should I just give up and bring my mom in his place?

How about a different type of vacation? Cruises aren't for everyone and imho, you shouldn't try to force your husband to do something he doesn't want to do. There are plenty of family-friendly AI's in Mexico and the DR that would be a good alternative to a cruise. We loved Barceló south of Playa del Carmen. They didn't even poison our drinks.

MUN

 

[twinsouvenirs]

I think you have a lot of things going in your favor, but ultimately, it will come down to his perspective. If he didn't like it, doesn't want to spend the money, and doesn't want to try again, you might be able to convince him to go, but you're unlike to get him to like it.

However, if he is open-minded to trying it again, there are several things that might make him like it more.

Some of them will happen automatically. Now that you've done it once, you know what to expect. You also have done some of the "must-do" things already, so the cruise can already be more relaxed. Also, you don't mention the ages of your kids, but they will be a bit older too, and it won't be their first time either. Maybe they will be more manageable at restaurants. Maybe they will like the kids clubs more. You could practice restaurants with them between now and then. Practice makes better.

And if he wants to relax on vacation, very few things beat a cruise. No cars to drive around. No need to "go" to the theme parks or whatever. Everything is right there. When we go to WDW it can take an hour or more to get out the door. On the cruise, we could mix it up, split into smaller groups, come and go, etc.


Other things you could do based on what you said,

-Try to give him some alone time in the adult areas (you should have some too). The adult spaces are really great for relaxing and slowing down. Maybe your kids would enjoy an hour or so now and then at the kids clubs to give the two of you time alone together.
-You mentioned alcohol. If that helps him be in a vacation mood, you don't necessarily need to go concierge, just budget for it ahead of time. Call it part of the cost, then don't feel guilty when you spend it for that.
-Same for the Internet. If that is one of the ways he likes to unwind, just build in an $89, 1 GB package or two. No different than paying for an excursion or a massage. We all relax in our own way.

Another, larger solution, could involve your mother since you mentioned her. If that is an option, would it be feasible to bring her along? Do she and your husband get along? That would give you two staterooms, even if all of your kids slept in one room with you, if you got connecting rooms, you two could hang out with her in her room while your kids slept in the evenings. (Book one child in her room on paper, but DCL doesn't mind who sleeps where.) This would also give you another option for getting some alone time. I'm sure the kids would like some time alone with their grandmother while you did some things with your husband. When my children were small, we traveled to WDW with BOTH sets of parents, and got a three-bedroom condo. Our parents loved their time with their grandsons, our children loved having their grandparents share their trip, and it made it easier for all of us to enjoy things.

In any case, have a great time. You have a family that enjoys being together. That's the important part. You can now work out the rest. Who knows in a year or so, the fond memories and pictures may find him wanting to try a cruise again!

Love these ideas! The kids are going to be 6,6 & 4 in a year or so. My mom would looove it and I bet she'd be happy in a separate stateroom too.

 

[twinsouvenirs]

If you didn't think you did enough relaxing on a 7-night, a shorter cruise is going to feel hectic. We don't like the shorter cruises because we feel you no sooner get on and get in the groove, and it's time to get off.

Maybe your husband just doesn't like cruising

Maybe a one-week vacation at Universal with a visit to Seaworld for something different.

Yeah, I think neither of us are in love with cruising

 

[FigmentSpark]

My DH wasn't as thrilled with our cruise as I was, either. However, after a few months, he came around and when the kids asked to go again, he said yes.

One thing I had to do was manage my expectations and his. I thought we'd be out doing all this stuff on the ship. He just wanted to hang on the verandah with a coffee. So, now I know how he likes to vacation and what I like doing. It really is a way for us both to get what we want.

If it's possible for you to get two rooms, that would alleviate the crowded feeling. Also, if you have a verandah, use it during naptime. You can also take turns staying with the kids during naptime.

Give the MDRs a try. They're used to kids, even 3 who are close together in age. If not, think about splurging for a 1bdrm concierge and plan to have your meals in your room in style. This will also give you more space to have your family and quiet/naptime.

Quietly tell him about the internet packages and, without the kids knowing, have him sign up for a package, but remind him that maybe videos and social media sites aren't the best use of his package. If that's what he likes on a cruise, then that cost is like his souvenir or spa treatment or excursion.

Finally, if he truly doesn't want to go, don't feel bad. Take your mom. Maybe make it a two week vacation - you and mom take the kids on a cruise, then meet up with DH at WDW for some family time. That way, he still gets a vacation with his family, but one that he enjoys, too, without you feeling like you're putting him through something.

 

[Jennifer777]

If you can swing a concierge 1BR that would eliminate a lot of the issues you thought he may have. You can eat in your room, more space, a much larger balcony for the two of you to relax on while the kids are having quiet time. There are Bahamian cruises from NYC that stop at Castaway. As for the kids, my son didn't like the kids club. On our second cruise we told him ahead of time that it wasn't an option. We had dinner at Palo, we wanted to do a couple things on board that he couldn't do and so we just were very clear about the times and dates he would be expected to go. He handled it much better knowing it was only 3 hours on Tuesday and 2 hours on Thursday, temporary and with a clear pick up time than he did the first time we cruised and we just dropped him off. We also rewarded him for taking one for the team and staying in the clubs by scheduling something he wanted to do shortly afterwards like ping pong, Bingo or the Aqueduck so he could keep his eye on the prize while he was there.

If you can't swing concierge, maybe look at two separate rooms. You could sleep the kids in one room for quiet time and you and hubs could have the whole other room for...*ahem*...activities.

There are definitely things you can do different to alleviate some of the things he wasn't thrilled about but in the end, if he's just not into cruising, it may be best to just take someone who is.

 

[Dug720]

Yeah, I think neither of us are in love with cruising

There is nothing that says you HAVE to cruise again if you really don't like it. You can cancel the placeholder and get your money back. Life is too short - and money too valuable - to waste time or money doing something you don't like.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

My besy advice is to NOT try a shorter cruise -- it's tons of work packing up a family and getting on board only to turn around and have to get everyone off. Our 4nt felt SO much different than our 7nt.

I suggest you try cruising again when your kids are about 11. They will love love love going to the clubs with other kids and doing all the other activities. It will seem like more of a vacation when you aren't having to be so hands -on with three young children. You and DH will have a lot more adult time.

Good luck!

 

[Trera]

They work so well for our family and concierge works even better. We love Castaway Cay and spend the whole day on the island when we are there. Our DD likes the clubs just enough to give us a few hours by the adult pool one day and time for Palo brunch another day. She loves the princesses, water slides, meeting Mickey and friends, spending time in the concierge lounge, taking in a movie, and also the evening shows.

Until our DD gets a little older, the DCL cruises will be on our vacation schedule each year.

We live in Orlando and frequent the parks 12-15 times a year as we are annual pass holders but our DD doesnt get as excited for the parks like she does the cruises.