Cat owners: I'd like your non judging feedback as to what you think I should do

[tasha99]

5 years ago, I got my cat a "friend." They still only tolerate each other most of the time, and actively hiss at each other about once a week. 5 years of this!

I do let mine outside, in the fenced back yard. It's not perfect--a neighbor cat gets in there, and one of my cats goes nuts about it. I am aware we may have a vet bill due to this, but mostly, it's been some chasing and making noises. The reason I let my cats out even though it's not as safe, is because I would not want to live only indoors. Quality of life. I think indoor toys and attention can only go so far, and having the ability to spend time out in the yard makes my cats happy. One is out almost all the time. The other only if it's warm and sunny (and even then, he never leaves the deck). Both my cats are in their teens--a younger cat would likely roam further or chase the birds and squirrels in our yard. Mine only like to watch them, though as mentioned before, one does chase the neighbor's cat out.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

5 years ago, I got my cat a "friend." They still only tolerate each other most of the time, and actively hiss at each other about once a week. 5 years of this!

I do let mine outside, in the fenced back yard. It's not perfect--a neighbor cat gets in there, and one of my cats goes nuts about it. I am aware we may have a vet bill due to this, but mostly, it's been some chasing and making noises. The reason I let my cats out even though it's not as safe, is because I would not want to live only indoors. Quality of life. I think indoor toys and attention can only go so far, and having the ability to spend time out in the yard makes my cats happy. One is out almost all the time. The other only if it's warm and sunny (and even then, he never leaves the deck). Both my cats are in their teens--a younger cat would likely roam further or chase the birds and squirrels in our yard. Mine only like to watch them, though as mentioned before, one does chase the neighbor's cat out.

Hahaha when I did have two before it was hissing everyday for 7 years. I think my little boy kept my queen young though.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Here's some videos of my guy on a walk. I'm lucky in that I adopted him when he was already 4 years old but he took to the harness right away. He equates it with "outside" so will let me put it on rather easily and then as soon as I click the leash on, he heads for the door. I give him a few treats while out on the walk but I give him a HUGE reward for coming BACK inside and letting me take the harness off (that way even though being outside is fun, being inside is where he wants to end up!)

Oh my gosh, Rocky is awesome!!

BTW I think what stressing me out about her meowing at the door is the type of meow.

This is one of mine as well! She knows I can't concentrate at all when she's meowing, and I will cave and take her out on her leash. - But she very good about putting it on, and doesn't seem to mind me coming along on her walks.

My other one goes out occasionally. It's a mood thing with her. She doesn't like putting her harness on as much, but then once she gets it on, doesn't want to take it off. Sometimes she just hangs out in the "kitty cabana" instead.

One thing I'll say about my cat is that she is amazing when going to the vet.
She goes right into the carrier no problem, doesn't whine at all, and gives them "the look" but does not try to attack.
My other cats were such a struggle and once I had to cancel an appointment because the cat hid in the house so well I could not find him in time to go.

This makes me think your cat would take to an outdoor enclosure. She doesn't seem to mind being cooped up. Maybe she just wants the fresh air?

I'd try it if you can afford it. It doesn't have to be built on to the house if you don't want to. I have something like this:

(the "kitty cabana" I referred to above) or there are larger stand-alone screenhouses (the kind for people too) that might be on sale now because the season is over.

Also, this is the website someone mentioned above:
https://jacksongalaxy.com/
He does a TV show solving cat problems. I bet you could write to him.

Good luck!

 

[elphaba91]

We have 2 cats who are mainly indoor but do enjoy going outside. Our old cat (who lived to 19) was the same. They don't leave our backyard at all, are never out at night (our council actually has a cat curfew) and are never left out when nobody is home. We plan their meals so that we can get them inside when we want them in and once they have eaten they are in for the day/night. While our little girl would definitely be like yours and going crazy if she weren't allowed out at all, we have just finished a beautiful weekend and they have both spent the majority of it indoors.

And for those worried, they have bells on their collars, they definitely haven't caught any birds but have caught a couple of mice which we are quite pleased about!

Is your backyard secure so that the cat can't/won't get out? If your cat can climb over the fence you could look at getting an attachment that goes on top of your fence to stop her getting over, like this:
http://catfencein.com/how-cat-fence-works/

I would also suggest before letting her out that you work at making sure you feed her at the times you'll probably want her to come in (make sure she'll definitely be hungry at those times) and making noise/calling her for those meals. That way you will train her to come in for her meals.

 

[mom2rtk]

I second (or third?) the idea of watching some episodes of Jackson Galaxy's show "My Cat From Hell". As a cat owner, it's fascinating to watch. And over time, you'll start to have a better understanding of the cat psyche.

Unfortunately, I think it's really hard to turn an outdoor cat into an indoor cat. So now that she's been out, it's much harder to make the adjustment. I think if Jackson was consulting on your cat, he would highly suggest more one on one play time with your cat. Try more interactive toys. Get a laser light, get one of those feathers on a pole toys. He would also suggest more high perches throughout your house to let her feel like she's stalking you. I'm not sure what about a cat play structure would be a problem with a baby around.

As you consider how much effort/expense/decorating concessions you want to give this, you need to consider how you will feel when you call your cat one day and she doesn't come. It's a rough way to go.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I second (or third?) the idea of watching some episodes of Jackson Galaxy's show "My Cat From Hell". As a cat owner, it's fascinating to watch. And over time, you'll start to have a better understanding of the cat psyche.

Unfortunately, I think it's really hard to turn an outdoor cat into an indoor cat. So now that she's been out, it's much harder to make the adjustment. I think if Jackson was consulting on your cat, he would highly suggest more one on one play time with your cat. Try more interactive toys. Get a laser light, get one of those feathers on a pole toys. He would also suggest more high perches throughout your house to let her feel like she's stalking you. I'm not sure what about a cat play structure would be a problem with a baby around.

The stand-alone cat trees I've had would be a climbing hazard for the toddlers I know. They would try to get on it and tip it over on themselves.

But I agree with everything else in this paragraph. It is definitely much harder to transition a cat to indoors than to start out that way! I think the interactive toys (as opposed to just tossing mice) are fun for cats, and the high perches attached to the wall would be great and not a problem with the baby at all.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

First I will say that I've had 2 other cats... first one, then two, then just one as the other passed from old age.
They both went out and until both reached an older age I was not concered about them being outside and neither passed from a complication due to the outdoors.

Now... My current cat will be 2 in a couple of weeks.
I have had her since she was 8 weeks old.
I did not want her to go out but after she went into heat for the first time (yes she is fixed) that is all she has wanted to do.
Last year I did let start letting her out mid August. In late December she got out at night and was injured when she came in.
After the abscess she had was healed and antibiotics were done we let her back out.
She got hurt again in mid March. After that we decided not to let her out.
After 6 whole months of her not going out other than the 3 times she got out for 20 minutes each because she would be at the door every time someone walk in the house I decided in mid September to let her out again.
In the broiling 90 degree days she was a very good kitty outside. Now that it has started getting colder she is much more active outside and I swear she looks for trouble.
So now I'd like to try to keep her in. I realize its unfair to keep changing my mind but her being out makes me nervous and her being in makes me want to let her out because all she does is give really loud long meows at the door all day making it hard to listen and hard to get in and out of the house. Eventually she will leave the door to come annoy me by meowing at me and when I try to play she just runs for the door again.
She has plenty of toys and 3 different windows she can easily sit and look out of.
When I play with her and she doesn't run to the door she will play for a couple minutes and then just sit there while I attempt to play but then I get tired of tossing cat toys, wiggling stings toys on the floor, making wand toys peak a boo through her cat tunnel.... and go to do something else.
She does not have a cat tree play house thing and I wonder if that would help but it would go in the basement because there's just not room anywhere else.
I also am leaning more and more towards getting another cat hoping they will entertain each other and forget about the great outdoors.
Every cat person I know judges me for even considering letting her out but they all also have multiple cats so I feel like they can't get the rull picture of how difficult it can be.
I'm just not sure what to do at this point.
Does anyone have any non judging advice to give me?

Yes. I am auntie to 4 furbabies & 1 grandfurbaby kitties.

1. Get a "Catio" if you can swing it. Or a dog crate? Kitty can be outside while being safe.

2. Cats like string. I am making toys now, lol. They are called "Mousetails". All cats want is a string. Buy a toy called the "DaBird". Once toy falls off use pole and string. Cats LOVE this toy.

3. Cat will beg and cry at door. You just tell them no and get them away from the door. Just like a dog.

4. I am going to try and harness train my dd's cat soon. We are all moving in together and I have to take my dogs out on a leash to potty (no fence) so we thought we would try and train her cat as well. She already has a harness and my daughter has had her out on it.

 

[mom2rtk]

The stand-alone cat trees I've had would be a climbing hazard for the toddlers I know. They would try to get on it and tip it over on themselves.

That makes sense. And another point is that the baby the OP watches now will be a toddler soon enough and that will potentially be even more off-putting to her cat.

Maybe some perches mounted to the wall up away from a toddler? I've seen them do that on the show. It's a commitment to be sure, but would be a safe alternative for the toddler.

3. Cat will beg and cry at door. You just tell them no.

Unfortunately it does come down to this sometimes. Perhaps the OP could commit to just saying no for a period of time. It might get better once the cat realizes the answer is going to be no regardless of how hard she begs. But she would also have to commit to everyone being careful when they go out the door.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Unfortunately it does come down to this sometimes. Perhaps the OP could commit to just saying no for a period of time. It might get better once the cat realizes the answer is going to be no regardless of how hard she begs. But she would also have to commit to everyone being careful when they go out the door.

One of my sister's cats Pepper, is the one that bolts outside. We do tell her no. I use dog training on the cats, it works.

 

[ThistleMae]

Such a difficult choice....cat's love outdoors...it's so much more fun than sleeping all day. My cats do go outdoors. I have three, a mother and her two daughters. I installed a cat door, they go out during the day, and when they come in for dinner I lock the door so they can't go back out. When I first started letting them out I stayed with them. They would follow me to the barn and the shed. If they started down the driveway, I'd run ahead of them and bang on a pan, really loud. They will not go down the driveway. I do live in the woods, and they stick around, never go too far away, but nighttime is dangerous, so I don't let them out at night. In the winter the cat door is closed. They don't like the snow and will only go out on the front porch, when it's sunny and the snow has melted on the deck. They may stay out there an hour or less and happily come back in. It took time to work with them on setting outside expectations but it truly paid off. In regards getting another cat....it can be very tricky. One of my babies went to my daughters but after 7 years they decided not to keep her anymore, so I took her back. It took about 10 months for the mother to stop attacking her. It was awful. She would chase her around the house, and the poor thing was so afraid she pooped herself! I had to lock the mother away at night, and supervise them every minute all day long to intervene when the mother would go to start trouble. I didn't think it would ever end, but finally they all adapted. Oh, and they never get fleas from going outside. I imagine one way a cat may get fleas from outside, is if they encounter another animal that has fleas, but truly, they never get fleas. This coming summer I'm going camping for the season. I'm already preparing for what I'll need to bring them. I definitely don't want them cooped up inside. I'm going to get a cat door, and fence in the area around my site with Omlet fencing. I'm sure I'll have to work with them on this whole new camping life. And it will take some time to get everything I need to make sure they are cozy inside, like scratching places and liter box and all that. My cats are my joy, and if you really want to work with your cat to be safe outside, I would suggest you go out with her everyday, until you teach her respectable boundaries. I don't know if this will work with every cat, but it's worth the effort. Hope this helps with your decision.

 

[Nancyg56]

My husband, an animal lover and he thought I was a horrible person for insisting my kitties stay in the house. He acquiesced after I explained an indoor cat has fewer vet bills. Now I cannot tell you definitely that is the truth because my feral Kitties managed to have odd issues, and they all cost money. Between one who had dislocated kneecaps, another with food allergies, was allergic to fleas ( he came to us covered in fleas larvas. IS that was they are called?) and who blew out two of his ACL's, to the one who developed a fully encapsulated floating tumor, we had vet bills! But they were not associated with the trauma that my animals or I would face if one of them was attacked by the coyotes in my neighborhood. Or the hawks that have flown off with little ones.


I cannot tell you what to do, you obviously love your cat and want to keep her in, but at some point you have to decide who is in charge and how much effort you want to put into keeping her in, and once you decide you cannot be wishy washy. Make that door unpleasant. I just shooed mine away from the door but they were all kittens, If I had to train an adult cat that the door was unpleasant I think I woud use something that she hated. My cats were afraid of those big furry animals slippers or halloween masks. I might have placed a slipper by the door until she learned to stay away. I knew my cats liked to look outside so I made it easy for them. I put little cat ledges on window sills that did not have a chair under them so hey coudl see outdoors. I dod nto want them on any tables or counters, and while I am not foolish enough to believe they stayed off whle no one was home, I do know they did not like me clapping my hands and saying "HEY" if they jumped on while I saw them, And stopped letting me or my husband catch them unless there was something too captivating and they needed to explore. Flowers had to be where they did not notice them because there was just too much temptation.

I started teaching my kitties what was acceptable in our home when they were kittens, but I do not believe it is impossible to train an older animal. I think it is harder and takes more patience, but it can be done. My Baxter was an adult cat who had been allowed on counters and the table, a huge issue in my house. HE and I came to an understanding, but it took a while. I did not use water bottles and did not yell at my animals, so I had to work at making the counters off limits. But that was the line in the sand with my hisband, so if we were going to keep him, (the cat, my husband gets to stay, LOL) he had to learn. It seems to me that you are the one who needs to know what your line in the sand is, and right now your line is a moving target. WHen you decide, in or out, I would say pick a lane and stay there. If you give in periodically, your cat will always thnk that if she whines enough you will back down again. Your cat may always want to be an outdoor cat and will let you know she is annoyed, but I do not know anyone who raises kids or animals who has not been on the snippy side of their charges. If you decide to let her out, make peace with that decision, and stop looking back.

 

[mom2rtk]

It seems to me that you are the one who needs to know what your line in the sand is, and right now your line is a moving target. WHen you decide, in or out, I would say pick a lane and stay there. If you give in periodically, your cat will always thnk that if she whines enough you will back down again. Your cat may always want to be an outdoor cat and will let you know she is annoyed, but I do not know anyone who raises kids or animals who has not been on the snippy side of their charges. If you decide to let her out, make peace with that decision, and stop looking back.

Absolutely.

 

[ThistleMae]

I do agree with the other posters that you have to make a decision about what you want to do and stick with it. I'm sorry to hear that some folks had issues with more vet bills if their cats were outdoor pets. Mine have never had any accidents or injuries or weird stuff happen because they go outside. But...they come in and out all day long. They don't stay out all day, they go back and forth like every hour or so. And...they are in all night and in the winter. In summer I let them have a later curfew...lol...they hate coming in early, just like kids but they do come inside on their own around 8ish in summer. Each cat is so different. The cat I took back spend much more time outside than my two. It was a big adjustment for her to get with the new time schedule, but with consistency she did just fine. Cats are like kids, they do best with routines. Pick one and do it until the cat gets used to whatever it is. Best of Luck, whatever you decide.

 

[Shellsbutt]

Like the previous poster said, each cat is different. What works for one doesn't work for the other and so on. I've had outdoor/indoor cats and indoor mostly cats. I do think they should have a chance to experience the outside, so I supervise them. I have three cats that I rescued from our local shelter about 7 years ago. We bought harnesses for them. That didn't go over too well. It was a project putting it on them and they struggled with it. One of my cats would just lay on the floor and wouldn't move once he had it on. It was like he was paralyzed! I would take Felix into the backyard with his harness on and he would race around and it was all I could do to keep up and not accidentally strangle him. I've also seen the videos of cats being taken for walks in the neighborhood, it depends on the cat. I take my cats out one by one for about 15 minutes to half an hour once a day. They roam the backyard, chew on grass and catnip that I've planted. They love to roll around in the dirt and smell everything. I have to make sure they don't jump the fences. It's definitely a commitment and not everyone has the time for that. It works for me. There is a minimum of meowing to be let out and general whining. I try to ignore it.

Before we moved to our current house, I had two cats who were indoor/outdoor. They never spent the night outside but they would come and go. One day my cat Cleo just disappeared and never came back. She was two and I like to think someone else took her in. Then my cat Salem disappeared for a few days and showed up looking very ill. I took him to the vet and got x-rays. Somehow, he had managed to swallow a fish hook. Because of where it was lodged, surgery was not possible and so I had to put him down. He was four years old. That was the end of outdoors for any future cats. It just wasn't worth the risk to me. I don't think getting another cat will change your cat's desire to go outside. They may not get along and you might end up with two cats whining to go outside. It's a difficult decision and there is no right answer. Good luck to you.

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

My cats are outdoor/indoor cats and they've all lived healthy lives. They tend to stay in at night and go out during the day. We keep them updated on their shots and give them flea treatment which keeps the fleas away. We've never had a flea problem unless you let it become one

 

[kirstenb1]

Our cats have always been rescues or feral, including our current boy. They have always been indoor and outdoor. Our current cat Cricket has gotten in a few fights over the years, which have resulted in trips to the vet. But he loves the outdoors so much in spring and fall, at this point, we're not changing. We live at the end of a 5 house street on 3 acres. We have a 10x30 front porch he mainly stays on. He must be a dreadful hunter, because he has never caught a bird, only baby rabbits. He is mostly indoors in the winter. Obviously if we lived in town, he'd have to be indoor due to traffic, other people's pets etc. Sorry I don't have advice on helping you move your cat indoors.

 

[BLAZEY]

How old was she when she was fixed? How old was she when you think she went into heat? And how old was she when you first let her out? When they spay, if they don't remove ALL the tissue, there is sometimes enough left to still produce the hormones to lead to the "heat" behavior. The disinterest in you and toys could also be purely associated with age - kittens are easy to entertain, adults not so much.

Maybe incomplete spay syndrome. http://www.vetsurgerycentral.com/ug_ovarian_rem_syndrome.html .

 

[MrsDuck]

1. Keep her indoors
2. Get another cat for company

 

[MichelleAMouse]

You capital S, SHOULD NOT let your cat outside. You've already seen her come home injured on multiple occasions so I hope you aren't seriously considering it at this point. OP you need to break the cycle. Every time you let your cat out after moaning and begging you are teaching her that if she pesters you long enough that she will get outside.

You need to figure out a play schedule that works for you both because you getting tired or bored are not an excuse to not make sure you pet gets proper exercise. The cat tree sounds like a good idea, but only if she actually spends time in the basement and would get use out of it. Have you considered trying to take her out on a leash? It sounds crazy, but it's become a popular solution for a cat that craves some outdoor adventures.

Edit: Sorry, DO NOT get another cat for company. Having multiple cats wont magically fix your problem. You run the risk of your cat getting aggressive toward a new animal trying to share its territory and only reinforce her desire to go out or you'll be giving her a place to channel her frustration. Cats can obviously be great companions to one another, but trying to put a new animal into your home to fix a problem with another just isn't how it works, especially not with cats.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

You capital S, SHOULD NOT let your cat outside. You've already seen her come home injured on multiple occasions so I hope you aren't seriously considering it at this point. OP you need to break the cycle. Every time you let your cat out after moaning and begging you are teaching her that if she pesters you long enough that she will get outside.

You need to figure out a play schedule that works for you both because you getting tired or bored are not an excuse to not make sure you pet gets proper exercise. The cat tree sounds like a good idea, but only if she actually spends time in the basement and would get use out of it. Have you considered trying to take her out on a leash? It sounds crazy, but it's become a popular solution for a cat that craves some outdoor adventures.

Edit: Sorry, DO NOT get another cat for company. Having multiple cats wont magically fix your problem. You run the risk of your cat getting aggressive toward a new animal trying to share its territory and only reinforce her desire to go out or you'll be giving her a place to channel her frustration. Cats can obviously be great companions to one another, but trying to put a new animal into your home to fix a problem with another just isn't how it works, especially not with cats.

Please read through my posts.