I’ve been pushing my kids (4 and 8) to order for hemselves in restaurants. We talk in advance about what they’re choosing, but I like them to tell the server what they’d like rather than talk through me.
We were at the Bon Voyage breakfast the other day and had a server completely take advantage of the situation. My 4yo ordered, and then my 8yo dd asked for lemonade, and the server asked if she wanted it in the Ariel cup. Well of course she did! And then asked if she wanted the Ariel glow straw. Well of course she did!
Then the server goes back to my 4yo and asks him if he wants the Pasquale glow straw. Basically, she just sells them $16 worth of garbage with no mention of the cost, and no glance in the parents’ direction.
Now I know that some of you will say that I should have stepped in with a firm “no thank you”, but I felt like i was put in a bad spot. One, if I’m teaching the kids to speak for themselves, I don’t want to step all over that, and two, I honestly didn’t want to risk the meltdown of telling tired, hungry children that they couldn’t have what the server just offered up. Honestly i was a little stunned by the whole thing, so I let it slide. I even thought “well maybe she is gifting these items to them since she approached it the way she did”, but no, there was the $16 in additional cup charges, that I then had to carry around
You can't eat and have your cake too! If you want your kids to order for themselves you have to accept the consequences. If you want control, step in and say something. You can't blame CMs for doing their job. Four year and eight year old children may need some parental help understanding and accepting choices--that's your job.