Who else is burnt out on hosting Thanksgiving?

[Disneyland1084]

This is my 12th year hosting Thanksgiving, and needless to say, I'm burnt out. The amount of people that come have dwindled over the years. My sister hasn't come for Thanksgiving in a few years. She lives a 4 hour car ride away and is on call for her job a lot. DH's parents are both gone. It's only my family, SIL, and my neighbor, her DH and son. My parents house is too small.Why doesn't my neighbor ever host? She's from Costa Rica, and although she's an excellent cook with recipes from her country, she admits she's not that good with standard American food. My SIL works too much and is lucky if she gets any holiday off. I use to cook everything from scratch, this year I'm buying some of the food already made. I'm doing my bread rolls from scratch, only because I would NOT be forgiven otherwise . No, I'm not complaining, seriously. Sometimes I just miss the holiday meals my MIL would make, and the ones my other SIL did. She moved to Idaho several years ago and we only see her in the summer. Anyone else feel like me?

 

[Meriweather]

I hosted for years......I did get tired of all the work, so passed it over to DIL

 

[LuvOrlando]

Same, I did it a ton of years and would get annoyed. But then I got my wish & SIL did it a few years, I couldn't eat most of what was out because it was salty and processed and the Turkey would be mushy which is still a mystery, like maybe they cooked it ahead of time and reheated or bought it cooked and reheated? It was plain she wanted nothing to do with it so her BIL would get hammered and cook, so it was like a sitcom with bad food. They were very generous but it was all bad so a giant feast of mess with bad cookies. Whole family griped and last year I had to bribe my family to go by cooking our own Thanksgiving the day before In the end I am grateful it is back at our table this year, smaller though it may be we will all have what we like.

There is a reason it is called a labor of love, because it is a giant pain.

 

[kymom99]

We rarely cook thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes we go to my step daughter’s but usually we stay home. We go to my sister’s the weekend after. This year I will be working.

I don’t like to host meals. It stresses me out.

 

[Travel60]

I love Thanksgiving - the more the merrier. That being said, I am only occasionally the host. But we all chip in.

This year we are blending two families at son and DILs. Her mom is making turkey, dressing, gravy. I'm doing mashed potatoes, special green salad, apple pie. DD is doing sweet potatoes and green beans casserole. DILs brother &SIL are bringing carrots and homemade bread. DIL and son are doing appetizers, pecan pie, strawberry/cranberry pie and cake pops. A cousin is bringing something.

Divide and conquer!

 

[NYCgrrl]

Starting in the late 70s/early 80s I began sharing holiday hosting with my older sister. She‘d do TD one year and I’d do the next CD. Flipped duties the next year so we each got to do one of the two.

When I moved overseas things changed around with both of us hosting simultaneously. By the end of the 80s we were back to sharing and that continued non stop until we began going to WDW for the holidays. Now fate has decreed that as much as I enjoy hosting I must pass the baton over to older sister. Its not fair but as Mom liked to say nobody promised me a rose garden.

 

[slo]

We host every holiday and have for 20 years. I told DD20 that when she gets a house with a dining room, I’m passing the torch to her and her response was, “I guess I better not get a house with a dining room.” She was kidding of course.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

 

[ofcabbagesandkings]

Not in the mood to host this year AT ALL. We've got DH's family, our dear friends/neighbors, and some holiday "orphans" including some who culturally would not traditionally celebrate Thanksgiving but who DH insisted on inviting for some reason. It's going to be 15 people total. I don't mind the cooking so much but the dishes afterwards that just take hours to clean, and of course most of the guests just take off at the end of the night. I would be delighted to skip it and go straight to Xmas. My consolation prize is I won't be cooking a single meal or doing a single dish when we're at Universal for the holidays.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Not in the mood to host this year AT ALL. We've got DH's family, our dear friends/neighbors, and some holiday "orphans" including some who culturally would not traditionally celebrate Thanksgiving but who DH insisted on inviting for some reason. It's going to be 15 people total. I don't mind the cooking so much but the dishes afterwards that just take hours to clean, and of course most of the guests just take off at the end of the night. I would be delighted to skip it and go straight to Xmas. My consolation prize is I won't be cooking a single meal or doing a single dish when we're at Universal for the holidays.

This is always so crazy to me. But then I read on here that sometimes people don't want anyone else in their kitchen.

My brother hosts Thanksgiving. We all pitch in (me, my mom, my DH, brother's MIL, FIL, etc) to do most of the dish washing and drying after the different parts of the meal (apps, dinner, dessert). It makes the most sense for my brother and his wife to put things away or direct us since there know where their things go. We would never all just get up and leave with a disaster of a kitchen. It's usually 95% cleaned up when we leave....maybe one load of dishwasher stuff still running. The whole day truly is a group effort.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not in the mood to host this year AT ALL. We've got DH's family, our dear friends/neighbors, and some holiday "orphans" including some who culturally would not traditionally celebrate Thanksgiving but who DH insisted on inviting for some reason. It's going to be 15 people total. I don't mind the cooking so much but the dishes afterwards that just take hours to clean, and of course most of the guests just take off at the end of the night. I would be delighted to skip it and go straight to Xmas. My consolation prize is I won't be cooking a single meal or doing a single dish when we're at Universal for the holidays.

Here's the answer to the dishes... https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B085TG7YYZ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1. Also get disposable silverware.

SO much better than washing dishes for 15 people (plus all the prep & presentation ones).

 

[fla4fun]

I am not tired of being a co-host as far as the meal goes. It’s just my sister, my BIL, and me, and we all work together preparing the meal. We use dishes that can go in the dishwasher, and a disposable roasting pan, so clean up isn’t too bad. I buy most of the food, and then my sister reimburses me for part of it, to even things out. We also split up the leftovers.

I do get a little tired when it comes to hosting them as overnight guests and all the extra work that goes into that. When I go to visit them, I always stay in a nearby hotel. As much as I love to spend time with them, I wouldn’t be offended if they decided to do that now and then. They usually arrive Wednesday afternoon and leave Friday evening so my sister can get to work on Saturday. Christmas they spend at least one night, depending on when the holiday falls.

I shouldn’t complain since they only come over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we have fun together, but right now my back is hurting from scrubbing the guest bathroom and preparing the guest bedroom for company, so it’s difficult to be objective.

 

[MillauFr]

We haven't done it for years. No one wants to do the work. Plus half of us really don't like turkey. I find it bland and dry. We just go out to eat where they have other items besides turkey.

 

[Skywalker3]

We've not hosted in years. This year I"m working Wed and Friday, DH is off. We're going to the in-laws Thursday, bringing several sides, rather small gathering, our 4 and them. My older son is in England, my parents and only sibling are gone, and DH's brother and family live too far to come for Thanksgiving, w/ limited days. Thanksgiving actually makes me very, very sad missing my family, and especially all of the happy times, and delicious food my mom would make. Several of her recipes: cornbread, cornbread dressing, and greens, are not liked by anyone else but me, and frankly, I"ll never cook those as good as Mama, and I miss that food so much. We've spent many Thanksgiving weeks at Disney, and I would be happy to always spend Thanksgiving away on vacation. But it does mean a lot to my MIL and FIL to have us there.
But DH is on the way home from picking up our daughter from college, so I will be very happy to see her!!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

One of my aunts complained yearly about Christmas and hosting it. She's very sweet but also worries a lot. Well the first year we were in our new house we said we could host. At first she was fine with that, then she got antsy but eventually we kept the plan at my house. It became a situation where we figured out she complained about the stress the getting ready the 'in charge' aspect but secretly liked it. Never offered to host again after that. She did redo her entire kitchen down to the studs during the pandemic and has switched out home decor multiple times since and was very excited to show everyone.

I do think that as much as some complain about hosting they also don't want to let that role go, either because they like to have it or they are concerned if someone else does it it won't be to the same level. But if you're truly done with hosting let it go but I wouldn't assume that someone else will host it or do it the same way. Just like gift exchanges as adults sometimes people are just over it entirely and wish to do something different.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

Thanksgiving isn’t an issue since it’s usually just my husband and I. Christmas is another matter since we’re the only ones on both sides of the family that are somewhat willing and/or capable of hosting, although there are 3 other family members who “could” do it, but refuse. They all have really lame excuses for not being able to do it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This is always so crazy to me. But then I read on here that sometimes people don't want anyone else in their kitchen.

My brother hosts Thanksgiving. We all pitch in (me, my mom, my DH, brother's MIL, FIL, etc) to do most of the dish washing and drying after the different parts of the meal (apps, dinner, dessert). It makes the most sense for my brother and his wife to put things away or direct us since there know where their things go. We would never all just get up and leave with a disaster of a kitchen. It's usually 95% cleaned up when we leave....maybe one load of dishwasher stuff still running. The whole day truly is a group effort.

I think the adage "too many cooks in the kitchen" can very much apply to doing dishes plus there are people who just use dishwashers for the bulk of their dishes. At the very least people could help collect what needs to be collected to wash and help bring stuff in to put away in the fridge or whatnot. I suspect angst from people tends to lie more in what could be called dine and dash if you will. That is people are more than willing to partake in the food but don't think about how they can clean up after themselves at the very least.

My mom's side of the family uses disposable plates and silverware and napkins for get togethers and has for decades so you're expected to put in the trash your stuff. And for a while now they've been doing orders from a local grocery store so most of the after work is actually just dividing up food to put in tupperware to send with people as there's not as much actual dishes to wash.

For my husband's side you just collect your plates and glasses and set them in the sink or next to it. But it would not be the thing to do to just start doing dishes most especially with my father-in-law's wife who takes her hosting role extremely serious. At our house when we have family over I don't expect people to wash dishes and would prefer them not to. And I don't even mind collecting dishes either but most of the time people will bring them to the island and I'll start loading up the dishwasher.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We haven't done it for years. No one wants to do the work. Plus half of us really don't like turkey. I find it bland and dry. We just go out to eat where they have other items besides turkey.

My family has had ham and turkey for years. Mother-in-law has also decided at some point to do ham as well. It's not difficult to buy ham and various places around here that do Thanksgiving/Christmas meals include ham depending on the meal you select. By all means go out to eat but it def. wouldn't be your only choice from getting away from the dry turkey


***Personally I agree with you that turkey is just not what I enjoy anymore if given the choice I'd pick ham over it any day. And I can understand the reluctance to do all the work, it's precisely why my mom's side switched years back to just doing an order from a local grocer

 

[mom2rtk]

I've turned into somewhat of a Grinch in recent years. Used to love the holidays but I'm really over doing the work. My favorite days are the days after holidays now.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Tricks to making hosting easy:
1. Paper plates and paper cups - keep the real silverware b/c that doesn't take up much dishwasher room, but don't bother with nice plates or cups - that's just asking for acres of cleaning.
2. Dishwasher safe cook ware and serving ware - it just goes right in at the end of the meal.
3. Disposable turkey roasting pan b/c there's no way that could ever fit in the dishwasher.
4. Keeping the meal manageable for the size of your kitchen and your cooking staff (for me, I'm a staff of 1 in a tiny townhome kitchen) - I offer turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and a fresh roasted green beans/triple mushrooms/double onions dish and pumpkin pie non-dairy ice cream pie for dessert with wine, sparkling juice, water, and coffee. That's it. There's plenty to eat and all the holiday favorites. I make sweet potatoes and pumpkin bread and a different pie later in the weekend for leftover meal, so something's always "new" (and since a carb - potatoes or stuffing - is normally the 1st leftover gone), but that cooking is saved for Friday/Saturday.

 

[soccerdad72]

Thanksgiving has never been a big deal to host for my wife and I. We’ve done it for the majority of our 26 years married. We’ve got it down to a science now and we work well together on it. Then again, the largest we usually have for a crowd is maybe 12 to 15 people, so it’s nothing too huge.

Thursday, it’s 6 for dinner and a couple more coming for dessert.