Pay for the person behind you trend? (chains)

disykat

This person totally gets me
Joined
Jun 5, 2000
I don't get it. I just saw another news item of a long chain of people who paid for the person behind them.

If I wanted to make someone's day and pay for their meal, then they turn around and put that money down on the next person's meal, isn't it a wash? They didn't accept my gift I guess?

Does it finally end when someone simply says "wow, thank you, you made my day!" Then are they considered selfish because they broke the "chain?"

What if you just want to pay for your dinner and tell them to give the gift to the person behind you. Have you broken the chain or continued it?

How do you know what the person behind you is planning to spend?

Can someone explain this to me? I literally don't get it and I always feel vaguely uncomfortable when I see articles and think "I hope that doesn't happen to me because I don't know what is expected of me."
 
I am with you on wondering about the protocol on this one. A few weeks ago I went through the drive thru at Taco Bell because I had exactly $3 to spend and it was easy and the car in front of me paid for my 2 tacos. There wasn’t anyone behind me so I thanked the kid at the window and drove off with my two tacos. I wondered when I got back to work what I should have done. Should I have parted with my $3 as a down payment for the next car when it eventually showed up or as a tip for the kid at the window? Am I obligated to do anything?

From time to time at Wawa someone will pay for coffee for the next however many people, when that happens I put my coffee money in the donation box on the counter.
 
It is well meant, and maybe for those who have very little to spend a great gesture, but others can be put in strange position as it forces you to think about the gesture. My guess is that the giver probably doesnt realize this, unless that is his actual objective, most likely he just thinks he did a good deed.

I do wonder if it happens so often that it is really a trend. And there shouldnt be protocol for these kind of things in my opinion. You didnt choose to be put in this position and it is your money.

If it would happen to me, it would depend on my mood what I do with the money. As I rarily pay cash, I cant put it towards a tip jar.

It has happened that I thought maybe I should. The person in front of me was taking so incredibly long at the register, and she was missing five cents, which I did happen to have on me. She found a coin herself when I was about to give it. But my reasons were selfish as she kept slowing down the line and I needed to be somewhere.
 
Nobody has to do anything and one thing for sure is that when somebody breaks the chain, the person behind them doesn’t know it (unless the counter person tells them of course). I presume everybody who orders at the drive through plans to pay for themselves initially. I’ve personally never been in one of these chains and had my order paid for although we have paid for the order behind us twice as part of a car rally/scavenger hunt type activity. I wonder now if doing so started a chain? :scratchin
 


I've never heard of this being done as a "chain" activity, but only as random acts of kindness. The idea was that the recipient had no obligation to do anything in return. By accepting the gift, the idea is that the recipient would someday "pay it forward" to someone else -- no set date or deadline -- just buy someone else a cup of coffee or a meal. And that person would "pay it forward" at a random time in the future. Wash, rinse, repeat. We do see this happen at DLR, only because I think that is an easy location to remember and because there are usually so many people there who may be juggling toddlers, phones, strollers, bags, etc. It's often easy to tell the CM to add the next party's drink bill to yours, for example, when you see someone struggling to find their wallet and they look really worn out. I do know someone who had this happen at the ticket booth! She was struggling to pay for her child's ticket with cash, and the woman behind her put down a credit card and covered both tickets. My friend just wept in gratitude. The stranger asked for nothing in return, Only that one day, my friend do something kind (not necessarily so grand) for someone else. :)
 
I paid for someone behind me once because she was kind and let me go first in line at the double order windows. Never heard of a chain thing and no one has ever bought mine which is ok. Hey but I'd be cheap.......I usually am only ordering a large fry or an Egg McMuffin! ;) :teeth:
 
I've never heard of this being done as a "chain" activity, but only as random acts of kindness. The idea was that the recipient had no obligation to do anything in return. By accepting the gift, the idea is that the recipient would someday "pay it forward" to someone else -- no set date or deadline -- just buy someone else a cup of coffee or a meal. And that person would "pay it forward" at a random time in the future.
Yes. This.

I‘ve also never heard of it being a chain. Just random, as it should be.
 


I've never heard of this being done as a "chain" activity, but only as random acts of kindness. The idea was that the recipient had no obligation to do anything in return. By accepting the gift, the idea is that the recipient would someday "pay it forward" to someone else -- no set date or deadline -- just buy someone else a cup of coffee or a meal. And that person would "pay it forward" at a random time in the future. Wash, rinse, repeat. We do see this happen at DLR, only because I think that is an easy location to remember and because there are usually so many people there who may be juggling toddlers, phones, strollers, bags, etc. It's often easy to tell the CM to add the next party's drink bill to yours, for example, when you see someone struggling to find their wallet and they look really worn out. I do know someone who had this happen at the ticket booth! She was struggling to pay for her child's ticket with cash, and the woman behind her put down a credit card and covered both tickets. My friend just wept in gratitude. The stranger asked for nothing in return, Only that one day, my friend do something kind (not necessarily so grand) for someone else. :)
Same here
 
I don't get it. I just saw another news item of a long chain of people who paid for the person behind them.

If I wanted to make someone's day and pay for their meal, then they turn around and put that money down on the next person's meal, isn't it a wash? They didn't accept my gift I guess?

Does it finally end when someone simply says "wow, thank you, you made my day!" Then are they considered selfish because they broke the "chain?"

What if you just want to pay for your dinner and tell them to give the gift to the person behind you. Have you broken the chain or continued it?

How do you know what the person behind you is planning to spend?

Can someone explain this to me? I literally don't get it and I always feel vaguely uncomfortable when I see articles and think "I hope that doesn't happen to me because I don't know what is expected of me."
Someone gives you a birthday (or Christmas or whatever) gift. Are you then obligated to make sure you give them a gift later? You're WAY over thinking this. I did this (for the first time) at a drive through a month or so ago. I placed my order, pulled up to the window and said "I'd like to pay for the car behind me also." So they rang that up in addition to my order. I get my order and pull away. I have no idea what the driver behind me thought or did. I did it to be nice.

As far as paying for your meal and having the "gift" be sent to the car behind you, I doubt they can do that. Pretty much everything is computerized. So the computer will show your order is paid for, and the odds are slim that the amount you pay will be identical to the car behind you. So what happens if you overpaid their order? Underpaid?

As far as your last sentence... nothing is EXPECTED of you. If you're short on cash, you just got a free meal. If you want to "pay it forward" then and there, then pay for the order behind you. It won't work if there is no car behind you though. Unless you just want to leave some cash and say "use this to pay for any many meals as possible".
 
Always thought the 'pay it forward' concept was a fairly recent thing and wasn't part of any type of 'chain'. Just a random person doing a good deed at the drive through since likely they have NO idea who is behind them in line. Thought it was one of those random fads that catch on through social media and then disappears when the next new fad comes along. Occasionally, I have seen stories in the news where someone at Walmart's will pay off the layaway charges for someone (or even several people) they don't know around Christmas as a good deed in the spirit of the holiday. Didn't think one has anything to do with the other.
 
I was part of a chain at Starbucks and I learned my lesson. I’ll say no next time. The order behind me was over $40 and my order was $5. My daughter had a gift card with about $5 on it and so I said I’d take her through. It meant not using the gift card and having to pay cash. How do you even order $40 at Starbucks?
 
With my luck, I'd be ordering just a shake and the person behind me would be ordering 100 big macs for the big mac eating challenge.
 
I never understood this. I would rather give the money to a homeless shelter where people can’t afford to buy food rather than a random person at Tim Burton’s or Starbucks.
If you are buying fast food you are probably not broke
 
I've heard about the chain. Usually the chain gets attention when a decent amount of people have kept it going otherwise you probably wouldn't hear much about. Sometimes people I know who have been a part of that have mentioned the drive-thru cashier mentioning how many orders have been part of the chain thus far.

To really be in the spirit of the pay it forward you wouldn't want to think about how much someone's order is, how many people do it before or after you, etc. It's just your way of an act of kindness toward someone else. I can, however, certainly understand the pressure if X amount of people have done it before you but please don't feel obligated to do it. If it's not your thing, and honestly it's not really mine, you can always do something else for people in general.
 
I never understood this. I would rather give the money to a homeless shelter where people can’t afford to buy food rather than a random person at Tim Burton’s or Starbucks.
If you are buying fast food you are probably not broke
My in-laws love to purchase police officer's food when they are at a restaurant. They also do that for those who served in the military if they know it (my step-father-in-law is retired navy). It's just their thing they like to do to show appreciation for the service these individuals do or have done. The pay it forward typically has nothing to do with someone's perceived level of income but rather a way to share some kindness out there. If it's not your thing hey that's okay. Your way of sharing some kindness can just as easily be donating some money to a homeless shelter. We use AmazonSmile and donate to the cat rescue/adoption place where we got our cat. It's our way of giving back to them even as tiny as an amount it can be (we also have dropped off some newspaper and other small things).
 

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