3 1/2yr. Autistic son Public Tantruming

[jennw26]

Does anyone have advice on how I can handle my son's tantruming when he gets overstimulated? Will he outgrow this? I really want to plan a vacation to DisneyWorld, but I am afraid I will spend it in a small hotel room trying to calm him down. Thanks!

 

[MBW]

Jenn, what kind of early intervention is your son currently receiving? If he's in an ABA program, talk with this teachers and see if they can address this through this IEP.

Will he outgrow it? Hard to know, but if you address it now, you have a better shot than later, I suspect.

My younger son, now almost six, had lots of public tantrums. So we had his home support aide take him out almost every day, with the idea that the more experience he had with unfamiliar situations, the more coping skills he would develop. And since it wasn't we, his parents, who had to deal with these public meltdowns, we were more able (less exhausted and frazzled) when we took him out. I think that it worked, as when we spent June - Dec on the road travelling, he did great, with very few public meltdowns (I can only recall one the entire time - of course, he still had private ones, a few times a week, in fact.)

Good luck. After six years as the mom of two autistic boys, I do think it does get easier.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I don't get directly involved, but I have a neice (Brightsy) who has a son, now 4, with high functioning autism. Sara has said that his visits to WDW have been very good for him. Other people with autistic kids have also posted to this forum with similar comments.

A couple of hints; be sure to get a GAC if it is necessary to avoid lines. When he is to meet characters, warn the "handlers" (who wear yellow and white striped shirts) ahead of time so they can warn the character.

Generally the cast members are aware of what is going on. I have seen Vinny have meltdowns in a park a couple of times. Sara and Tony let him just lie on the ground and scream for a couple of minutes, and then he stops and becomes his usal cheerful self. Sammy (his big brother by 2.5 years) just tries to ignore it with a "who are these people look".

I would suggest trying to go at a slow time rather when very crowded. This may help.

 

[Rosie]

Hello jennw26

My DS is 11 and has Asperger Syndrome and ADD. When he was about 4 he was so afraid of so many many things that the tantrums were daily. Now he still gets overstimulated and has meltdowns - but not often.

There really is every chance that your DS will learn strategies to cope with what stresses him. My DS kissed and hugged his Aunt for the first time this week. He explained to me later that he had been afraid of her for many years but didn't know why. He is overcoming fears regularly now and I'm sure that with your help, your DS will also learn to cope better.

Post as many questions about your trip as you can think of - somebody on this board will be able to help!

 

[3kidsmommy]

HI--Chandler, my 7 year old son with autism, was the king of tantrums at 3 and 4...here is what worked for us. Make sure to take a stroller...having his own space helped Chandler a lot. I also took along sensory items...vibrating teethers, thera-putty, a small mushy pillow...and allowed him to use them. We kept our days short, resting when he needed to. I carried our reinforces (tootsie rolls) and rewarded good behavior throughout the day. Finally, if he pitched a good one---I LET HIM! So what if everyoen stared? I simply waited, and he would eventually calm. When he did I would hold him tightly the way he liked it and then we continued on with our day. Best of luck...I promise--it does get better!

 

[jennw26]

How could his IEP get changed? He is already in a special education preschool run by our town. When I bring this kind of thing up with his teachers, they just repond with how much he loves school and how well he is doing. They have a routine at his school that he really loves following. Meanwhile, GETTING to school extremely difficult because he doesn't want to put on his shoes or put on his coat or turn off the TV or get into the car or...... His school gets upset if he is four minutes late, yet I feel I should get a metal for getting there at all!

 

[3kidsmommy]

Jenn---I so feel for you...First, YOU are an important member of the ARC--the commitee that meets to determine your son's IEP. YOU can ask that something be included. You can request certain testing, evaluations, accomodations (such as if you are late, no big deal!!!) and modifications to be made. Noone knows your child as well as you--even the teachers! As for getting him ready--do you have a picture chart? We still use one for Chandler even now. It is the only way to get him ready in the morning. It is on cardboard and I put the pictures on it each night...it might look like this: pic of getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, eating, brushing teeth, putting on pants, putting on shirt, putting on socks, putting on shoes, putting on coat and riding in car. Then we have a picture of school. We take each picture off (they are connected with Velcro) as we finish the task. I let him do this and he feels liek he has a bit of control. It might help with your son...just a thought...hang in there!

 

[Brightsy]

My Uncle (CheshireFigment) already mentioned my Vinny, age 4 w/ HF ASD. He's had, as Uncle said, a few meltdowns at WDW. We usually let him scream it out... there've been a couple of times when he got so distraught that just letting him go wasn't an option, he was unaware of his surroundings and could have hurt himself. In those rare situations we would take Vinny to an out of the way spot and just try to ride it out. He gets so that looking at him sets him off.
That being said, the stroller is a great thing. It makes him feel a bit more secure. We also would keep a pacifier on hand for the extremest of meltdowns. (Said pacifier is a measure of absolute last resort btw.)
Letting char. handlers know about Vinny's issues was good, tho' we don't really need to do that so much for Vinny's sake anymore, but more for the characters sake. Vinny get so fired up when he sees them he about tackles them to the ground for lovin'.

WDW is a great place for our little ASD guy... it may not be so for everyone but for Vinny it's a wonderful place.

Sara

 

[jennw26]

Thank you for the AWESOME advice!!!!!! Jen

 

[karynnix]

I just came across your thread. My DS is 7 and has Asperger's and severe OCD. We took him to Disney in June and he did fairly well. We didn't take a stroller with us, but he liked the strollers at Disney because they are more "closed in". He felt more secure. He had a MAJOR meltdown in "The Land" and I just sat in the floor and held him while he screamed. Once it was over, he was fine for the rest of the day! I learned through Applied Behavior to scratch his back and rub his head when he started getting upset. It seems to bring him out of them a lot faster. The instructor told me to use HARD pressure because a light touch drives him crazy! I do a lot of massage on him, too. I didn't worry too much about the people watching. It doesn't really bother me. I am actually relieved when someone comes up and asks me directly what is wrong with him. The world needs to be educated about autism!!

Have a great trip!!

 

[jennw26]

I have a question. Are you guys saying let the tantruming pass like a tornado blowing through, but then you go about your day? It's a good idea... Afterwards, how are your children in the parks? Are they able to handle the day after a good meltdown? Also, how do you deal with sibling stress over the mother getting "dirty looks" from bystanders because she has such a poorly behaving child in "their" public space. Jennifer

 

[karynnix]

I always think about how much better I feel after a good cry. Sometimes, Jack just needs to let it all escape him and then he is so much calmer. It's easier for me to just take him in my lap (regardless of where we are...I did this in Wal-Mart a while back) and let him get it all out. As long as he is safe in my arms, he knows that he is okay. It took a while to develop that safety with him. He knows that he is safer in my arms than anywhere in the world. My daughter is 5 and she worries about him constantly asking him if he is okay. I just tell her that Jack needs to scream for a few minutes and then she can talk to him. As he has gotten older, of course, he has gotten stronger. Try to develop that safety trust now while he is small. We didn't get Jack disgnosed until last year, and we have made HUGE progress in a year's time. Jack had one good meltdown in EPCOT last June and for the rest of the day, he was so much better. I have found that it's easier to PREVENT the meltdowns than to deal with them, if possible. I pick my battles. If Jack didn't want to go on a certain ride and just wanted to play in a fountain, I let him. It's so much better to see them happy. Children with autism need to feel in control.

 

[MommytoMJM]

I have found that it's easier to PREVENT the meltdowns than to deal with them, if possible. I pick my battles. If Jack didn't want to go on a certain ride and just wanted to play in a fountain, I let him. It's so much better to see them happy. Children with autism need to feel in control.

This is so true! We call it the MJ Touring Plan in our family. It is important for her to be able to do what she wants and she is more willing to do what we want if we do what she wants first...and it is such a joy to see her so happy at that time, so much of her life is ruled by her disabilities, this is the one time when she gets to do what SHE wants...