Adult with “kid food” diet

I can totally understand the whole, 'Only order something you know you'll like' mentality. While I'm not nearly as picky as some of the examples listed here, I do tend to be fairly limited in my eating habits.

Here's the thing: every few weeks or so I'll go out to eat with friends or my husband, and for the past few months I've tried to order something outside of my comfort zone and get something new. And you know what? I've always HATED what I ordered. Unappetizing, not what I expected, and in the end, I wind up trying to politely pick at my plate without making it obvious how much I dislike it. I still have to pay the check, which DOES feel like a waste of money since it's not like I want to bring any of it home to eat later, and not only that, I'm still hungry at the end of the meal!

That being said, I do understand the frustration of being with someone (adult or child) who refuses to try even the most basic of "weird" foods (absolutely zero veggies, not even carrots, zero fruit, that whole...."taco" situation that doesn't include any lettuce). I try my best to ignore it since it's none of my business and I don't know the whole story behind why they're eating that way, but I wouldn't say it doesn't bother me when the only reason appears to be they don't want to stop eating like a toddler.
 
Twinkling said:
I can totally understand the whole, 'Only order something you know you'll like' mentality. While I'm not nearly as picky as some of the examples listed here, I do tend to be fairly limited in my eating habits.

Here's the thing: every few weeks or so I'll go out to eat with friends or my husband, and for the past few months I've tried to order something outside of my comfort zone and get something new. And you know what? I've always HATED what I ordered. Unappetizing, not what I expected, and in the end, I wind up trying to politely pick at my plate without making it obvious how much I dislike it. I still have to pay the check, which DOES feel like a waste of money since it's not like I want to bring any of it home to eat later, and not only that, I'm still hungry at the end of the meal!

That being said, I do understand the frustration of being with someone (adult or child) who refuses to try even the most basic of "weird" foods (absolutely zero veggies, not even carrots, zero fruit, that whole...."taco" situation that doesn't include any lettuce). I try my best to ignore it since it's none of my business and I don't know the whole story behind why they're eating that way, but I wouldn't say it doesn't bother me when the only reason appears to be they don't want to stop eating like a toddler.
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I get being picky, we all have our own tastes. In my case with my husband I was doing all the cooking so it was frustrating. I mean if you have an adult who does their own shopping, cooking and paying for their orders it's a non-issue. My various kids all have their preferences and when I cooked something they didn't like they knew they could make something they would eat. My husband is the same but honeslty now he'll eat pretty much anything. Of course the only acception is allergies. I have one kid who can't really do dairy, it's not an allergy more of an adversion. Dairy just makes her feel gross, so I tried to work around that.
 


We all have our likes & dislikes, food aversions & allergies, & different food quirks.

I don’t care what people outside of my own immediate family are eating. You do you.

But it would bother me if my significant other had a “toddler” diet & ate a very limited diet like only chicken fingers, French fries, Mac & cheese, & bread. That kinda thing is going to get old really quickly, especially at restaurants.

And, I probably do a look little askance at an adult who says they never eat any vegetables or fruits (barring any allergy).

I am a little pickier than my DH, but I can always find something to order off the ”adult” side of the menus at restaurants. And I’ll try just about anything - especially if it’s prepared well & as long as it doesn’t have mayonnaise in it.

For our anniversary last year, DH & I went to one of the nicest “fancier” restaurants in our area. This particular restaurant boasts a James Beard award-winning chef. I couldn’t decide what I wanted for my appetizer, & the server recommended their signature soup which had cauliflower in it. Normally, cauliflower is not one of my favorites, but I went w/ his recommendation. Oh. My. Word. That soup was divine! If I had been anywhere else, I would have licked the bowl clean.

Our 2 older children have good palates. Older DS is more adventurous & will eat more things than DD will, but neither limit themselves to the typical “kids menu” type fare & eat a variety of things. And we‘ve tried to train our kids to be adventurous when it comes to food, learn to eat a variety of different dishes, & how to choose things they’ll like off menus. And, maybe this bad to admit, but, during their younger years, I also might have said things like, “You don’t want to be on a date or going out to eat w/ your boyfriend/girlfriend’s family & only ever order the plain chicken fingers & French fries.“

Before kids, we once went on a beach vacation w/ another couple. The only things the wife of the couple would eat were cheeseburgers, chicken fingers, or French fries. And, honestly, in a coastal community were seafood restaurants were popular, it was difficult finding good restaurants that had either cheeseburgers or chicken fingers on the menu. Most of the time, when it was permitted, she ate from the kids’ menu.

I am a bit worried about younger DS. He’s 10 & has a very limited palate &, while he likes a lot of fruits, he hasn’t yet met a green vegetable he likes & only likes raw carrots & cucumbers. French fries are not his favorite but he will eat them. However, he doesn’t like mashed or baked potatoes, tator tots, or hash browns. He likes pasta & will eat the tomato based meat sauce or Alfredo sauce. But he doesn’t like tomatoes or sweet potatoes. He only ever wants a cheese pizza (occasionally pepperoni) when we’re ordering pizza. He will sometimes eat fried rice, but never any other kind of rice. We try to have him at least try everything, but menu-planning is difficult.

As an aside, One thing I’ve never let our kids do is say a particular item is “gross” or say something like “ew” or “disgusting” - especially when that item is on the table or buffet in front of them or someone else is eating the item. It’s just a pet peeve of mine, & I find it rude to declare something someone else likes or is eating “gross”. You may not like whatever it is or not prefer it, but someone else does & exclaiming “Ew“ or “Gross” is just rude. Even in a conversation when the food item is not around, I don’t think it’s particularly polite - “I like shrimp cocktail!” “Ew! I could never eat cold shrimp! That’s gross!”
 
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lorenae said:
With my friend the only reason I care is because she’s all “holier than thou” about some of it. She is doing intermittent fasting, and bulletproof coffee and her eating hours are 11A-7Pm.

Like many other people who justify their eating habits (paleo, vegan, low fat, hi-protein, whatever) by putting others down, that’s what this picky eater did to me.

No food before 11 AM except buttered coffee, an entire container of nuts at noon, three beers, at least one Dole Whip, another ice cream, turkey dinner, etc at GG- and preached to me about how I should not drink a beer after 7 PM because I had a piece of cheese to start my day at 10:30 AM and that is “not good for you to eat more than in an 8 hour window and beer is NOT fasting!”, She would also not have food that was “mixed together” so only meat or chicken, potatoes and vegetable, all separate like when she was a child (and no seasoning).

The next night, Monday night at DAH from 8-11 PM, this “diet advisor” consumed at least 9 Mickey bars, 1 popsicle thing, and 2 ice cream sandwiches. And some of my popcorn.

That’s why I mentioned how picky she was- not only picky but militant about certain things that are considered odd and preachy about me drinking a beer after her “eating window”.

Normally I don’t care what people eat at all and my family is a group of the most non-picky and adventurous people you’d meet- but this struck me as something to mention.

I think in her case, it’s about feeling in control and her comfort zone makes her feel in control. I think some people have other reasons, but for her it took me aback,
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no that would annoy me too but I’d call her on it. Especially if she’s telling you how to eat.
 


Here's a question though. If you're a parent, and you don't like a ton of food, including fruits and vegetables and things that provide nutrition, how do you set the example for your children to eat them and instill healthy eating habits in them? I ask this because my friend's husband was in this group and my friend basically told him he had to start eating better in front of the kids.
 
This is my mom! She will only eat pancakes, mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, or a plain hamburger. I understand the idea of not judging what someone else eats, but the unfortunate reality is that those choices DO become a burden for other people. There are literally 3 restaurants that she will eat at - Cracker Barrel, Bob Evans, or Perkins. All of which have very mediocre (at best) food. When we go to visit for a week, it is always such a struggle to figure out dinner. Because we're not going to rotate between those 3 for a whole week! We often either end up going out to eat without her (which she makes us feel guilty about) or just get some take out to bring back to their house, so that she can microwave herself some pancakes to eat. But even then she complains that our food smells too strong. So we definitely don't dare try to cook anything substantial there. She claims that she is "allergic" to absolutely everything else, but I find that hard to believe. Unfortunately, she was raised on nothing but hamburgers (her parents owned a hamburger stand) and I strongly suspect that she just never was encouraged to eat anything else and develop a taste for it.

We have gone out of our way to make sure that our kids are well-rounded eaters. And I think they do pretty well. DS is a little more finicky than DD, but he still has a pretty impressive appreciation for good food. I am a vegetarian myself (who doesn't like mushrooms!) but I am always determined to find something that will work, wherever we end up eating. Because I refuse to limit the rest of my family to 3 restaurants, lol!
 
Disney Doll said:
I wouldn’t be going with her to a nice restaurant. And when the time came that she asked why, I’d tell her.
Yes, adults food choices are their business..until they impact MY enjoyment of a meal in a nice restaurant. Then they become my business too.
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:confused3 How does it really affect you though? You're free to eat whatever you want, regardless of what your companions do or don't eat. If dinner with certain friends or family members really bugged me that much (which it simply never would, TBH), I'd just find other times to be together with them - no "nice restaurant" required.
gtpoohbear said:
This is my mom! She will only eat pancakes, mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, or a plain hamburger. I understand the idea of not judging what someone else eats, but the unfortunate reality is that those choices DO become a burden for other people. There are literally 3 restaurants that she will eat at - Cracker Barrel, Bob Evans, or Perkins. All of which have very mediocre (at best) food. When we go to visit for a week, it is always such a struggle to figure out dinner. Because we're not going to rotate between those 3 for a whole week! We often either end up going out to eat without her (which she makes us feel guilty about) or just get some take out to bring back to their house, so that she can microwave herself some pancakes to eat. But even then she complains that our food smells too strong. So we definitely don't dare try to cook anything substantial there. She claims that she is "allergic" to absolutely everything else, but I find that hard to believe. Unfortunately, she was raised on nothing but hamburgers (her parents owned a hamburger stand) and I strongly suspect that she just never was encouraged to eat anything else and develop a taste for it.

We have gone out of our way to make sure that our kids are well-rounded eaters. And I think they do pretty well. DS is a little more finicky than DD, but he still has a pretty impressive appreciation for good food. I am a vegetarian myself (who doesn't like mushrooms!) but I am always determined to find something that will work, wherever we end up eating. Because I refuse to limit the rest of my family to 3 restaurants, lol!
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Would you mind mentioning what your own experience was being raised by her? Were those foods the only things you were ever served? What was your Dad's take on it - was he content with the limited menu or did he prepare his own meals?
 
ronandannette said:
:confused3 How does it really affect you though? You're free to eat whatever you want, regardless of what your companions do or don't eat. If dinner with certain friends or family members really bugged me that much (which it simply never would, TBH), I'd just find other times to be together with them - no "nice restaurant" required.

Would you mind mentioning what your own experience was being raised by her? Were those foods the only things you were ever served? What was your Dad's take on it - was he content with the limited menu or did he prepare his own meals?
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I’m not who you were asking, but I can answer the first question for me. In my case, I was starving (she ate junk all day) by 6 PM and was ready to go for dinner. I was checking for ADRs while waiting for ROL. (I’m not a snacker, and won’t eat junk food.)

She nixed every single choice at DS (where we could easily Uber) or AK (where we were) and suggested salad or peanut butter and jelly.

I told her she could get salad at any restaurant, including an Italian place, and they all had ADRs.

This was our conversation from there:
Her: Nope. Not going to try ANY of them, because “what could I eat?”.
Me: Um, you had 9 Mickey bars last night and everything that wasn’t nailed down today in AK, and you won’t go to ANY restaurant at all?
Her: No. There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: They have plain salads at all of them, with no dressing. I promise.
Her: No. I can’t! There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: But you’ve eaten all day long. Maybe you’re not hungry, so a light side salad will do. But I haven’t eaten, and need a meal. I need real food.
Her: NOOOO. It’s bad if you eat after 7 PM. And I”m tired!
Me: I’ll take you back to the room. Then, I’ll go without you- you can go to the room and eat the peanut butter and jelly you want. I’m starving.
Her: NO, you can’t leave me!!! Please don’t leave me. It’s not my fault that I can’t eat anything at restaurants.

It gets really old for the travel partner.
 
lorenae said:
I’m not who you were asking, but I can answer the first question for me. In my case, I was starving (she ate junk all day) by 6 PM and was ready to go for dinner. I was checking for ADRs while waiting for ROL. (I’m not a snacker, and won’t eat junk food.)

She nixed every single choice at DS (where we could easily Uber) or AK (where we were) and suggested salad or peanut butter and jelly.

I told her she could get salad at any restaurant, including an Italian place, and they all had ADRs.

This was our conversation from there:
Her: Nope. Not going to try ANY of them, because “what could I eat?”.
Me: Um, you had 9 Mickey bars last night and everything that wasn’t nailed down today in AK, and you won’t go to ANY restaurant at all?
Her: No. There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: They have plain salads at all of them, with no dressing. I promise.
Her: No. I can’t! There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: But you’ve eaten all day long. Maybe you’re not hungry, so a light side salad will do. But I haven’t eaten, and need a meal. I need real food.
Her: NOOOO. It’s bad if you eat after 7 PM. And I”m tired!
Me: I’ll take you back to the room. Then, I’ll go without you- you can go to the room and eat the peanut butter and jelly you want. I’m starving.
Her: NO, you can’t leave me!!! Please don’t leave me. It’s not my fault that I can’t eat anything at restaurants.

It gets really old for the travel partner.
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Actually, the issues sound like a lot more than just conflicting food habits. :rolleyes1 Did you not know this person well before you traveled together or did you plan it genuinely expecting anything other than what you've described?
 
ronandannette said:
:confused3 How does it really affect you though? You're free to eat whatever you want, regardless of what your companions do or don't eat. If dinner with certain friends or family members really bugged me that much (which it simply never would, TBH), I'd just find other times to be together with them - no "nice restaurant" required.
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It limits *where* you can eat and that limits everyone but the person who has only a handful of things they will eat. Nice places don’t typically have chicken nuggets and Mac & Cheese on the menu.
 
wenrob said:
It limits *where* you can eat and that limits everyone but the person who has only a handful of things they will eat. Nice places don’t typically have chicken nuggets and Mac & Cheese on the menu.
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True, but how often do you have to eat out with such a person? Unless it's your spouse or one of your kids, it really doesn't seem like such a daunting issue as to cause upset.
 
ronandannette said:
Actually, the issues sound like a lot more than just conflicting food habits. :rolleyes1 Did you not know this person well before you traveled together or did you plan it genuinely expecting anything other than what you've described?
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We’ve been friends for years, and traveled to Germany 2018. This is relativelay new since she found a trainer and “got healthy”. She’s much healthier and more fit than she was- but she’s still got some terrible food habits that are not healthy.

The thing is, she is “plain food” anyway (did great in Germany!) but now militant about not eating outside of the time outside of “eating hours” of 11A-7P, unless it’s her idea and total junk like (no kidding) like 8 or 9 Mickey Bars at DAH in lieu of dinner.

The point is, having dinner with her is a crapshoot. At GG, she ate every single thing in front of us (all of it). But it was plain food. Nothing with much flavor or anything mixed together, although the potatoes may have had gravy.

It’s WAY more than food obviously, which is what oftentimes picky eaters also have. It’s about control. I think it bugs her to no end that I eat healthy, have no sweet tooth, and am fit and slim. I think that’s a huge part of it- she probably felt bad that she ate garbage for 6 hours and wanted to atone with a salad.

I did have a PB&J in our room one night because of this but I did NOT want to continue that path with her.
 
ronandannette said:
True, but how often do you have to eat out with such a person? Unless it's your spouse or one of your kids, it really doesn't seem like such a daunting issue as to cause upset.
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On a 10 to 12 day trip? Um, 10-12 days.

And let’s face it- on a vacation where you’re spending over $250/night for a “moderate” hotel, eating PB&J in your room by 7 PM just isn’t a great fun vacation for most of us when you’re middle aged.
 
lorenae said:
I’m not who you were asking, but I can answer the first question for me. In my case, I was starving (she ate junk all day) by 6 PM and was ready to go for dinner. I was checking for ADRs while waiting for ROL. (I’m not a snacker, and won’t eat junk food.)

She nixed every single choice at DS (where we could easily Uber) or AK (where we were) and suggested salad or peanut butter and jelly.

I told her she could get salad at any restaurant, including an Italian place, and they all had ADRs.

This was our conversation from there:
Her: Nope. Not going to try ANY of them, because “what could I eat?”.
Me: Um, you had 9 Mickey bars last night and everything that wasn’t nailed down today in AK, and you won’t go to ANY restaurant at all?
Her: No. There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: They have plain salads at all of them, with no dressing. I promise.
Her: No. I can’t! There is NOTHING I can eat there.
Me: But you’ve eaten all day long. Maybe you’re not hungry, so a light side salad will do. But I haven’t eaten, and need a meal. I need real food.
Her: NOOOO. It’s bad if you eat after 7 PM. And I”m tired!
Me: I’ll take you back to the room. Then, I’ll go without you- you can go to the room and eat the peanut butter and jelly you want. I’m starving.
Her: NO, you can’t leave me!!! Please don’t leave me. It’s not my fault that I can’t eat anything at restaurants.

It gets really old for the travel partner.
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Wow. I hope u no longer travel with her.
 
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