Am I crazy to go back?

Ecomommy09

DIS Veteran
Joined
May 6, 2019
Last year (and really since 2017!!!) I planned something once-in-a-lifetime trip to WDW for my whole crew (me, DH, ODD, and YDD). I had ADRs, the perfect hotel room, all the FP, DAS, wheelchairs and strollers, princesses. You name it I had it planned...and the trip was a FLOP! DH said he had a good time, and I planned well, but ODD was grabbing strangers, melting down in lines, and not sleeping well and YDD begged me to get a babysitter and let her stay in the room!

The thing is, I really liked planning the trip. It was fun to know our itinerary (so type A) months in advance. I liked the rides, ease of finding food, hotel, people.

So DH and I have decided we just need to vacation separately while the other person stays home with ODD (she’s disabled, if you haven’t figured that out). He’s doing a week in July to a music program he’s interested in. I’m thinking of taking YDD back to the Poly for 3 nights!?!??

I thought we’d do one day at MK and the rest of the time swim and maybe some kind of kids camp for her? Is it crazy considering how much she whined the last time? Anybody taken a trip focused less on the parks and more in the resort amenities?

Anybody vacation with only one child? I feel guilty leaving my big girl at home, but she doesn’t understand travel and she’s getting too big for me to care for alone while keeping an eye on her sister.

I talked about other ideas we all could enjoy, but DH really wants to do his music thing, and he’s satisfied with that for trips thus year.
 
I'd go and not feel guilty at all. Maybe at another time you could do something alone with your other child that she would enjoy. DH and I have done separate trips with kids based on their interests, especially as they got older. There's also a 10 year age difference between the youngest and oldest so definitely different interests when they were younger.
 
I would definitely take one child back for a redo. My kids love one on one attention and turn into totally different kids when they are by themselves. I would probably downgrade the hotel, extend the trip and really take DDs lead for parks though.
 
Have you talked to your YDD about a possible return trip for just the two of you? I can't help but wonder if her reaction to the earlier trip was at least partly due to the issues you were having with ODD. Without that stress, she might look forward to a trip for just you and her. If so, why not let her plan what to do each day?
 
We also travel independently with our kids depending on interest, activity, occasion, and time. In various mixes, one of us with both kids, both of us with just one kid, one of us with one kid. Just depends on what we're doing. I'm not sure how old your youngest is, but depending on her age, I agree I would probably get her input about what she would like to do.
 
I have done Mama and me trips with my 2 girls most of their lives. And we go to different places around the Country. There is nothing wrong with spending time with one child where they can enjoy themselves, and then taking another to a different place that is more suited for them. I also travel to WDW without my kids. I have been going solo every year for almost a decade. In fact, I am leaving in a couple of weeks for one of those trips.
 
We are actually doing a redo trip this September with our youngest child. Our difference is he is the only one that isn't an adult yet, although he will be at the time of travel. Last trip with kids was two years ago. It was a miserable trip. Our youngest son is autistic and even with DAS it was a nightmare. We didn't realize until we went on the trip how bad his anxiety had gotten. It was so bad on the trip that we considered going home. He was miserable, my husband and I were miserable and our older child that we also took was miserable. We made the best of it by having one of the adults stay at the resort with our son and the other adult going to the parks with the older kid.

Flash forward to today. Our son has his anxiety under control thanks to lots of therapy and medication. It's time for a redo trip. We are doing everything we can to make this a better trip. We are flying down instead of driving. Staying at the Poly to have less difficulty in going back to the resort quickly. And he is helping with the planning. I am actually really looking forward to this trip.

I am a firm believer in seperate trips. My youngest daughter and I have done trips together with no one else and are planning another one for her 21st birthday. My other kids don't seem to mind. Everyone is older now and they have their own lives so understand that we vacation with out them.

My 22 year old doesn't ever feel left out because Disney is hell for him. He knows he'd be miserable and make everyone around him miserable if he went with us. Don't feel guilty, go and have a good time.
 


I once took my twins while our baby stayed home with DH. We realized on a prior Disney trip that our baby was just too little to get anything about Disney, but our twins, who had just turned 6 years old at the time, LOVED disney. It was an amazing trip--we got to ride everything they wanted without having to mess with rider swap, didn't have to worry about keeping the little guy entertained and on his regular nap/bedtime schedule, and the twins and I made a lot of happy memories bonding together.

But the difference was my kids had an amazing time, and I can't tell why your YDD had such a bad time. Did she just get overextended and tired/hot/hungry from too much programming or too long a day? Those are easy fixes--just do midday breaks at the resort or half days at the parks, increase the number of indoor shows you go on instead of rides, and try not to plan too much so you can keep your days flexible. But was it that she was unhappy because she was scared of the characters or the rides, or bored because she didn't really enjoy anything there? If so, taking her back there sounds like a recipe for an awful vacation, and a mom/daughter trip of a different kind might be better--there are lots of places you can go and enjoy a nice resort with nice resort amenities that are cheaper than WDW.
 
from what i read your YDD was whining how your ODD ruined the trip in her eyes i don't know if i read it right but i think the baby sitter was for the ODD not for your YDD. Have a do over trip with just your youngest and don't feel bad about leaving one child while you take the other, it should be no different if you and your husband went on a trip without the kids. Your arloud to do things one on one and not a whole family your aloud to go solo.
 
I don't know how old your youngest is, but I would find a quiet time to ask her one on one if she thinks she would have liked the trip without her sister there. Don't mention going back, because she may feel pressured.
I like planning as much as you do I think, and we took our son when he was pretty young. In retrospect, our trip was too long for him, but when you are planning the trip of a lifetime, it's easy to over do it. I mention that because your daughter may want to go back, but not right away.
 
Have you talked to your YDD about a possible return trip for just the two of you? I can't help but wonder if her reaction to the earlier trip was at least partly due to the issues you were having with ODD. Without that stress, she might look forward to a trip for just you and her. If so, why not let her plan what to do each day?
from what i read your YDD was whining how your ODD ruined the trip in her eyes i don't know if i read it right but i think the baby sitter was for the ODD not for your YDD. Have a do over trip with just your youngest and don't feel bad about leaving one child while you take the other, it should be no different if you and your husband went on a trip without the kids. Your arloud to do things one on one and not a whole family your aloud to go solo.
I don't know how old your youngest is, but I would find a quiet time to ask her one on one if she thinks she would have liked the trip without her sister there. Don't mention going back, because she may feel pressured.
I like planning as much as you do I think, and we took our son when he was pretty young. In retrospect, our trip was too long for him, but when you are planning the trip of a lifetime, it's easy to over do it. I mention that because your daughter may want to go back, but not right away.

So, my YDD is 4 (will be 5 at the time of the trip). She generally enjoyed rides at MK (not enough to do at AK), loved the characters, but got tired. We generally are pretty laid back folk, so she really wanted another down day.

If we go, I was planning one day at MK and two pool/play days with no itinerary. I think she’d be happier playing at the pool/splash pad and meeting new friends.

She did, also, get tired of ODD pulling her hair and acting out. She knows her sister can’t help it, but she gets tired because she’s littlest and can’t always get away fast enough 😢. We often do things with just her, because E can’t do them. She goes to movies, play dates, church, etc without E. This year, she took an over night with her dad and they had a great time.

I think if I planned less, which I was going to anyway...we will never have such an expensive trip again!...she would have fun.

She says she wants to ride Peter Pan and the ‘squirrel train’ (SDMT) again.
 
I once took my twins while our baby stayed home with DH. We realized on a prior Disney trip that our baby was just too little to get anything about Disney, but our twins, who had just turned 6 years old at the time, LOVED disney. It was an amazing trip--we got to ride everything they wanted without having to mess with rider swap, didn't have to worry about keeping the little guy entertained and on his regular nap/bedtime schedule, and the twins and I made a lot of happy memories bonding together.

But the difference was my kids had an amazing time, and I can't tell why your YDD had such a bad time. Did she just get overextended and tired/hot/hungry from too much programming or too long a day? Those are easy fixes--just do midday breaks at the resort or half days at the parks, increase the number of indoor shows you go on instead of rides, and try not to plan too much so you can keep your days flexible. But was it that she was unhappy because she was scared of the characters or the rides, or bored because she didn't really enjoy anything there? If so, taking her back there sounds like a recipe for an awful vacation, and a mom/daughter trip of a different kind might be better--there are lots of places you can go and enjoy a nice resort with nice resort amenities that are cheaper than WDW.

I definitely think a more flexible schedule would suit her better! She’s such a butterfly she’d rather be playing than going.
 
We are actually doing a redo trip this September with our youngest child. Our difference is he is the only one that isn't an adult yet, although he will be at the time of travel. Last trip with kids was two years ago. It was a miserable trip. Our youngest son is autistic and even with DAS it was a nightmare. We didn't realize until we went on the trip how bad his anxiety had gotten. It was so bad on the trip that we considered going home. He was miserable, my husband and I were miserable and our older child that we also took was miserable. We made the best of it by having one of the adults stay at the resort with our son and the other adult going to the parks with the older kid.

Flash forward to today. Our son has his anxiety under control thanks to lots of therapy and medication. It's time for a redo trip. We are doing everything we can to make this a better trip. We are flying down instead of driving. Staying at the Poly to have less difficulty in going back to the resort quickly. And he is helping with the planning. I am actually really looking forward to this trip.

I am a firm believer in seperate trips. My youngest daughter and I have done trips together with no one else and are planning another one for her 21st birthday. My other kids don't seem to mind. Everyone is older now and they have their own lives so understand that we vacation with out them.

My 22 year old doesn't ever feel left out because Disney is hell for him. He knows he'd be miserable and make everyone around him miserable if he went with us. Don't feel guilty, go and have a good time.

I’m glad you posted! It’s nice to see that your children have grown accustomed to split trips and that you’ve accommodated your son with autism’s needs. E isn’t verbal, so it’s hard for her to express what she needs. She loves us, but it’s hard to know what else she’s trying to say. I think part of the trouble for her was all the travel. Car rides to everywhere and then so much time in her wheelchair. Not her idea of fun!
 
So, my YDD is 4 (will be 5 at the time of the trip). She generally enjoyed rides at MK (not enough to do at AK), loved the characters, but got tired. We generally are pretty laid back folk, so she really wanted another down day.

If we go, I was planning one day at MK and two pool/play days with no itinerary. I think she’d be happier playing at the pool/splash pad and meeting new friends.

She did, also, get tired of ODD pulling her hair and acting out. She knows her sister can’t help it, but she gets tired because she’s littlest and can’t always get away fast enough 😢. We often do things with just her, because E can’t do them. She goes to movies, play dates, church, etc without E. This year, she took an over night with her dad and they had a great time.

I think if I planned less, which I was going to anyway...we will never have such an expensive trip again!...she would have fun.

She says she wants to ride Peter Pan and the ‘squirrel train’ (SDMT) again.

Then I definitely vote for a one-on-one trip!

Siblings of special needs children do not have easy lives, and I've always particularly sympathized with them. I think a trip focused just on her would be a great memory to "fill her tank" for the times when she has to, in effect, be the "older" sibling.
 
You know, since she’s still so young, only 5 at the time of the trip, and you want to do two resort days and just a short visit at a park, maybe it’s not yet time.

Maybe do a fun resort (water park, beach resort, etc) instead of Disney this time and relax and enjoy until she’s ready to go back and enjoy the parks.
 
I have taken multiple trips to WDW alone with my DS and we really have the best time. We are also quite laid back and plan plenty of down time and time to just be spontaneous. We typically only do half-days in the parks and spend the rest of our time enjoying our resort, going to DS, etc. I think your plan sounds great!
 
Would she have enjoyed it more if she was bigger and could do more of the rides? Or she is more of a character kid? I absolutely would take her back at some point for some one on one time, but if you think she may enjoy it more when she's older/bigger, maybe wait a few years. I could see staying at a cheaper resort so you could a slightly longer trip and have a bit more park time, but more downtime too(I don't know this is possible).
 
Take a single child on vacation without regrets, but before you plan a big trip, talk to your DD to figure out what she might like. If your primary pull is resort days, there are lots of places with fantastic pool areas with far lower price tags than the Poly. I mean, if money is not an issue, go for it, but I think the main pull of the Poly is it’s proximity to MK. You could do a less expensive deluxe (Beach Club!), a moderate, or even not Disney.

One option might be Legoland. The on-site hotel has fantastic theming and it’s literally right next door. The rides at Legoland are less extensive than at Disney, but the LEGO builds are amazing. There’s also a hands-on center where kids can do cool LEGO projects, and the attached water park was fun. I found it to be smaller and less overwhelming than Disney, but the kids (3, 9, 11) all enjoyed it. Lines are relatively short, and it’s very much a laidback park. You don’t need to plan an itinerary (might be less fun for a type-A parent, but can be great for spontaneous kids) - just show up and go where the mood strikes you!

If YDD does want to try WDW again, maybe she would like to do MK and another park. I feel like AK is a much more relaxed place. It’s spread out, not too many rides, and lots of animals to see and CMs to talk to.
 
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Take a single child on vacation without regrets, but before you plan a big trip, talk to your DD to figure out what she might like. If your primary pull is resort days, there are lots of places with fantastic pool areas with far lower price tags than the Poly. I mean, if money is not an issue, go for it, but I think the main pull of the Poly is it’s proximity to MK. You could do a less expensive deluxe (Beach Club!), a moderate, or even not Disney.

One option might be Legoland. The on-site hotel has fantastic theming and it’s literally right next door. The rides at Legoland are less extensive than at Disney, but the LEGO builds are amazing. There’s also a hands-on center where kids can do cool LEGO projects, and the attached water park was fun. I found it to be smaller and less overwhelming than Disney, but the kids (3, 9, 11) all enjoyed it. Lines are relatively short, and it’s very much a laidback park. You don’t need to plan an itinerary (might be less fun for a type-A parent, but can be great for spontaneous kids) - just show up and go where the mood strikes you!

If YDD does want to try WDW again, maybe she would like to do MK and another park. I feel like AK is a much more relaxed place. It’s spread out, not too many rides, and lots of animals to see and CMs to talk to.

LEGO land might be an idea. She’d love to go to the beach, but I’m afraid to rent a house and go by myself. Silly, but so much driving! Maybe I should look around the Destin area or other resorts in Orlando area
 
Would she have enjoyed it more if she was bigger and could do more of the rides? Or she is more of a character kid? I absolutely would take her back at some point for some one on one time, but if you think she may enjoy it more when she's older/bigger, maybe wait a few years. I could see staying at a cheaper resort so you could a slightly longer trip and have a bit more park time, but more downtime too(I don't know this is possible).

Trip length is more determined by my work schedule. 😞
 

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