Aspergers signs?

[mommie2angels]

My dd#2 is autistic. I think that my great nephew may have aspergers. My niece is not very open to hearing this. Could those of you that have a child with aspergers please tell me signs to possibly look for. Also how was your child diagnosed? Thanks in advance for any help you may provide!

 

[karynnix]

Asperger's has a lot to do with social skills. I noticed my DS flapping his arms when he was about 2 years old. He never made eye contact with me. He would talk to himself a lot and exclude anyone who tried to play with him. On the other hand, with me and my mom, he was (and still is) extremely affectionate, but he does shut out certain people. He put his fingers in his ears when something worried him (movie theaters, church services, etc.). He would fixate on a certain movie (for Jack it was Blue's Clues...he still loves it at 8 years old!). We noticed signs at about 2 years old, but Jack was not diagnosed until he was in first grade. His teacher actually suggested that we have him tested after she had been teaching him for only a week.

My husband's brother is severely autistic, and we thought for years that Jack was just mimicing Josh. I was so relieved when Jack's teacher suggested testing! I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders when someone else noticed the signs.

 

[karynnix]

I forgot to mention this in my last post. There is a book called "Eating an Artichoke" by Echo Fling. It chronicles the life of her son with Asperger's. About 3/4 of the symptoms that her son exhibited, my son had. This book paints a really clear picture of Asperger's.

 

[my4kids]

My friends DD was not diagnosed until she was in about 3rd grade. She had extremely high grades in school, but had some social problems (who doesn't right?) Her mother thought she was just a little eccentric. She would love to play "pretend" games and go off into a fantasy world. She would say, "let's play princesses", but the problem was she would never come back out of the fantasy world. She would be in it for days. She would be so involved in the fantasy, she would forget that her friends were right infront of her, she was really living it in her mind. She would be in character for the rest of the week. She is a little withdrawn as well, but her biggest problem was the fantasy stuff. Otherwise you would have never known there wasw anything wrong.

I have another friend who's son is extremely bright in school , but is a arm flapper. She put him in soccer, but he had no idea there was a game going on, he was busy flapping and running in a cirle in the middle of the field. She was in denial for a long time and said he was ADD .

I have another friend who I suspect her son has a mild case. He also goes off into a fantasy world for way to long (usually he's a pirate) but it is for days as well. They think he is wonderfully creative, but I suspect there is something wrong there. (I know that not every child who does this has Asbergers, but I've worked around a lot of autistic and asbergers children, and I definately notice little things with this child that are consistent with it) He NEVER makes eye contact with people outside his family. Problem is, they don't realize this , because he looks at them. I have taken pictures of him and his eyes are ALWAYS rolling back in his head. His social skill are really lagging, but again, that is tough to point out because he interacts with his family and very close friends he has known a long time. It is easy for a parent to just think he is shy. I have never seen him sit in his chair for an entire meal. If it is Asbergers, I am afraid this kid will never be diagnosed because they send him to a small Catholic school, that has no special education services or people trained in this sort of thing. If he ws in the public school, I know they would pick it up. It doesn't help that the parents are the type that think that everything their kids do is perfect, and even if a teacher pointed out 10 things not right about the child and 1 thing nice at the end, they would ONLY hear the 1 nice thing and brag about that for the next week. I don't blame them, they love their kid, I just wish there was a way I could tell them my concerns without them never talking to me again.

 

[SpaceMounatin]

Well. My twin brother and I have been diagnosed with Aspergers. My brother is more noticable than I am. But here are a few things that are noticable, before we were diagnosed. We were under developed on a social scale. Meaning, my brother and I didn't speak (English) until 2-3 years old. And stayed away from others. I don't think this has to do with anything, but we both went to speach therapy for 7 years. We do get fustrated very easily, and my brother expecially is not that well with behavior. He gets really hyper and doesn't shut up or calm down (needless to say, I'm not inocent either) and it's mainly when not on medication. An other is repeating and not noticing. My brother has a Para in high school, and I am listed in the special ed department as well. But we both are on AP (Collage Credits) and honor classes. So in a nut shell, Aspergers is a social disease.

-Dainan "I hope I've helped" Rafferty

 

[CantWaitToGo2007]

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. I had always thought it was something else. When he was in 3rd grade I found a doctor who would listen to me and he was tested again. We found out that he was not ADHD, but had Asperger's. It was such a relief to finally have a correct diagnosis.

DS never crawled and started to walk at just before 8 months old. He didn't use to play with other children, but rather next to them so it gave the appearance that he was playing with them. He is very bright. Like other posters have said this is a social disease. When he was younger he flapped his arms. To this day he still has a lot of trouble looking at someone when they are talking to him. More often than not he will shut down when meeting someone new, unless they mention a subject that he is fond of. Then it is like they have been friends forever.

 

[Christine43]

I have two sons with As, one has a twin with more classic autism. The two with As are very different from each other so there's no real universal sign, they're all so different. One is 18 and very, very antisocial and quite frankly can be very unkind. The other, who's 10, is very kind, to his detriment sometimes, but has a very hard time relating to many kids on their level. He loves things the other boys aren't interested in, atleast not at my son's level. He loves fantasy, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, King Arthur, Narnia and can make up stories about them and play all day but can't seem to switch gears to do things the other boys want to do and thus, doesn't have a lot of friends even though he is such a wonderful kid. His feelings get hurt very easily and he has a very hard time letting things go. He was actually suicidal at one point but this has passed, thank God.
The other AS son was very distant at the same age, got angry very easily. He still does. They are both extremely bright but have both had trouble in school particularly with math.
They have both been prone to depression at times. One also has Season Effective Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. They both have Attention Deficit Disorder which usually goes hand in hand with AS.
I try to approach their disabilities with the attitude that this is no different than a child being dx'd with diabetes. You get the diagnosis, you find out how to deal with it and you concentrate on the positive not the negative and expound on their strengths and their gifts.
It's very important to get a diagnosis because they need it to get the extra help in school and the medical attention and the understanding they have to have to get by. Best of luck, Christine

 

[JESW]

Ds12 in the 6th grade is an asperger's kid and was diagnosed at 9 years old in the 3rd grade.

We always knew he was "different" but didn't have a clue what was going on - never even heard about Asperger's until he was diagnosed. (I highly suspect my dh and his father are also Aspies...)

Ds has a very high IQ but does not do well in school. He finds most of the things they do in school to be "stupid" and a waste of time. He fixates on one subject at a time. He will ONLY listen to the music of The Beatles so that's what we hear over and over and over...at least they have a lot of albums! He is also big into Pokemon - such as drawing the characters and playing the games on the gameboy and gamecube.

Ds is not into sports...is not coordinated..never learned to ride a bike or tie his shoes.

Ds does make eye contact and is very social - altho he talks AT people and not WITH them. A couple weeks back he had a friend (girl) over and he started talking AT her about the "Paul is dead" conspiracy and I had to gently tell him that not everyone is as interested in that as much as he is.

There are so many things that ds does that other "normal" kids do, but he does them to the extreme. When younger he had more tactile issues - socks couldn't have seams, shirts couldn't have tags, noises and too much stimulation did him in. Routine was very important - he did/does not like surprises.

Ds has a lot of problems with social situations - he just doesn't know what to say or do and he ends up standing around a lot on the outside of groups. He does have his friends tho (they are like him) so that helps.

Ds can recite various Pokemon facts but still doesn't know his times tables.

When ds hit 6th grade this year he went into a tailspin due to all the changes for classes, the need for organization and more responsibility. When it all gets to be too much he puts his head down on his desk (or bangs it) and then shuts down completely. Back in 5th grade he was stabbing himself with his pencil when frustrated. Several months back he destroyed the frame of his bedroom door with all his slamming when frustrated. The door is also destroyed (big crack down it) and there is a small hole in his bedroom wall due to kicking it when he was mad. We have not repaired any of these things as we want them to serve as reminders to his behavior.

Ds does all the physical things to himself.

We recently had him tested by a neuopsychologist. We had testing done when he was in 3rd grade but at his current age they can do more/different tests. It was discovered that ds has several learning disabilities, including auditory processing problems. It certainly explains many of the problems he has in school. Right now we are in the process (along with his school) in finding another school situation for him. In school now he is pulled out for a couple of classes and he even has a one-on-one aide and he still has breakdowns. These kids sometimes just can't be in a regular school situation.

I have heard of many kids first being diagnosed as ADHD when younger and then diagnosed with Asperger's when older. Dh has a nephew who fits that but his mother is in denial. We have been down the medication path and at times it has been good and at times it has been a nightmare. Seems that the dr's are very quick to prescribe. Last time we went in we wanted to cut out a medication (wasn't doing any good) and ds' dr. wanted to add another one to make it three! We said NO and we are now weaning (under dr's care) ds off one drug. This summer we may try to wean him off his other drug and see what he is like drug-free. We are hoping that once we can eliminate the school stress then other things will be better. It is such an unknown and we can only hope.

AsPerger's is a very complex diagnose and not all kids will have all the symptoms. Many of the kids can go through school and not have much difficulty, unfortunately, my ds is not one of them. Many of these kids are extremely bright and do ok in life - many go on to become engineers! (dh is one )

It can also be a very, very tough thing to live with at times.

Jill

 

[Cindy B]

This is a tough post for me.

My son, at 12 years old is most likely getting an Asperger's dx by the end of this week.

I long suspected it, but was ignored by doctors and his elementary schools CST team.

It took a very perceptive middle school to understand and perceive some things that we internalized.

He never flapped his arms or stemmed. He was never truly fixated on a specific subject, but liked other things more than other kids and didn't like most thing that kids his age did (for example, he thought Pokemon and Yugioh were "stupid"). He tried sports and was just looking at the sky and fooling around.

He is pretty non social. It took one year of inviting all the classmates to a birthday party and no one showing up (yes really) that I thought somethign was up. I was ignored by school--said it was just a stage, kids are on different levels, etc. So no 504, IEP or anything.

To make matters more complex, my son has an extremely high IQ. His reading comprehension/language skills were so advanced he tested college level in 4th grade.

So the elementary school thought it was just an advanced IQ that made him unsocial.

Now he's in middle school and its overwhelming. The guidance couselor (who is also a psychologist) at school noticed something else. She noticed that his working memory is at a shortened pace. He has a hard time with changing schedules, moving from class to class and different teachers for each class.

He was in enriched classes and the classwork was overwhelming. He got his first failure ever in his life.

Kids make fun of him because of his looks, his interest (he is an accomplished oboe player on the upper grade band, he is the only 6th grader with the 7/8th grade band) and his funny mannerisms in speaking-- formall speaking .

The guidance counselor is thinking high functioning aspergers with his lack of social skills.


We are very lucky that his learning team has a social skills classroom that meets once a day in place of foreign language. I observed the social skills class yesterday and they were all aspies/autistic kids. My son is also part of the organizational club which had children who need help with lockers, paperwork and such.

Until the dx comes through, the regular subject teachers are frustrated. They know he is extremely intelligent but does little to no work in class (he is highly stimulated and can't focus). So, since he is not "on the IEP list" he is given no accommodations (and I didn't expect any accomodations)

Anyway, that is my story. I'm hoping I get resolution soon.

 

[Dis1978]

It is so good to hear from others in similar situation. Living with an AS child can be quite overwhelming. I always knew my DS teen was different. Exceptionally gifted, he used to make the other kids look stupid. Not diagnosed because the doctors thought it was his giftedness that made him different. I hoped they were right but knew deep down that he was different from other kids. I was always so happy if he was invited on a play date or to a party. I told myself that he was just shy. I mean he had friends, he looked people in the eye. He was a bit hyper, so maybe it was ADHD. He couldn't tie his laces, ride a bike for ages. He was very intense and difficult. As he got older it became harder for us to pretend that he was just different. There were obsessions, fears, anxiety, intense rages, depression. All very frightening. He has just had a dx but he is in denial. Now as an older teen we can't make him do anything. Whether or not he accepts medical treatment is up to him. Our lives are very very hard. We have no support or therapists until he accepts his diagnosis and he won't, so we are stuck. I am looking at Applied behavioural analysis and wonder if anyone else has tried this. They will help him irrespective of dx or whether he believes his dx is correct. Would love to hear from anyone who has tried ABA or anything at all that has helped.

 

[Starr W.]

My son was diagnosed at age 4, he has some of those "low muscle tone" problems which are exaggerated by the fact he's very tall(10 and 5'2").

He was a handflapper and not very social(gets along with adults or older kids very well).

He has a very high IQ, but as his teacher and I both figured out this year, he is really milking the "I am an Aspie". So we both get tough with him, that works. He was miffed that he now does reading/lang. arts in the regular class(ie homework) and doesn't get to go everyday and see Mrs. B(spec. ed teacher).

He has accomodations to have more time on tests and have questions read to him, but Mrs. B said he never asks to have her read them, but just needs maybe 5-15 extra minutes(fine motor skills are not his strong point). If the class does 3 worksheets, he'll get 2.

He paces at home out in the driveway or jumps on the trampoline, it seems to help him relax.

 

[quiltymom]

It is true that every child is different, so I am going to share with you my DS's story. DS (8) was diagnosed at 5 with ADHD/Aspergers.

His pediatrician was noticing that he wasn't speaking as he should, so at age 2 after his hearing tested fine, we had him evaluated the pre-school intervention program and he qualified for special ed only for speech. His gross-motor skills were outstanding, and his fine-motor passable for his age and started school at 2-1/2. At the time the specialists were very concerned that he was displaying Autistic-type tendencies (i.e., always playing with the same toys the same way, lining up items in the same order and got upset when they were changed and had absolutely no creative play), but it was not severe enough for them to give him a Autism diagnosis. Big red flag.

DS did not speak until he was 3-1/2 to 4 years old. He was diagnosed with Oral-Motor Apraxia and started receiving speech therapy daily. Within 6 months he started speaking simple sentences, and tested out of the program early with my objection. He had met his speech goals, but we knew something else was wrong. The teachers did not want to make a designation on an IEP that would carry on until he was in middle school that may not be true.


The Asperger's was brought to our attention by his kindergarten teacher, a former special-ed teacher. He was not doing well in school - not socializing, doing parallel but not interactive play, he was extremely focused had a terrible time with transitions, could not sit still, had difficulty writing, needed individial direction.

He is very high on the Asperger's scale. Yes, as a previous poster said, it is a social disability. He talks at people, not with them. He does not know how to carry on a conversation, but can spout facts until the cows come home. He has been a target of bullying outside of school because he cannot read social cues, and is not intimidated by anyone or anything (except vegetables!). He last round of testing found him him at the 11th grade level in higher-thinking and conceptual skills, but he also has trouble learning his mulitplication facts. In a nutshell, he has the intelligence of a high-schooler but the social skills of a 5-year-old. He's great with babies, toddlers, teens & adults, but doesn't know how to relate to anyone his age.

It's tough on the parents, too. DH & I are continually having to remind him of daily tasks. He still cannot get up and get ready by himself without at least 6 reminders from us on what needs to be done. If he thinks something shouldn't be done, he doesn't do it. He gets it fixed in his head and nothing can change his mind because to him it's right.

We've had him in a social skills counseling group for 3 years now, and is in a social counseling group at school, too. We enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do, which has been fantastic - it's taking everything he's learning in group and having to apply it to real life. And the instructors there understand how to work with Asperger's kids, and they've been a tremendous help, too.

Sorry that this has been so long, but it's our story. I hope that some of this helps you. If your you think your nephew has Asperger's tendencies, then you need to be his advocate. Your niece may not want to hear it - no parent does - but once a diagnosis is found then he can be helped. Good luck!

 

[wdwluver]

Wow, I don't feel so alone after reading everyone's posts. My DS was diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD in the 2nd grade. Yes, his problems are mostly social and what a doozy they can be. He also has a problem with fixating on certain subjects in school, is EXTREMELY forgetful and often can't follow routines. Unfortunately, he also has problems with anxiety and doesn't like change. Before diagnosis, life was very difficult. Imagine my surprise when we took the family to Disney World and he screamed at me all the way to the airport because this was his weekend to go to Grandma's? What kid doesn't want to go to Disney World? We've all had to learn to cope. He's taken social skills classes and coping skills (because of the anxiety). We keep hoping that as he gets older, he'll just grow out of it. (we know better)

 

[karynnix]

What beautiful children we all have! I love reading the stories and comparing my situation with other's. Thanks so much for sharing!

 

[wdwluver]

There's another movie out there about adults with aspergers that I have rented, but have not yet viewed (trouble with DVD player) It's called Mozart and the Whale.

Here's a synopsis:
Based on a true story, this romantic drama follows the love affair of two people with Asperger's Syndrome -- a subtle form of autism with a side of savant. Donald (Josh Harnett), an emotionally dysfunctional mathematical genius, leads a support group for those with the syndrome. When an attractive music and art genius (Radha Mitchell) joins the group, Donald's falls for her, but their unique natures make for a challenging relationship.

 

[leanan]

A lot of Aspie kids do stemming or other sensation type tics like neurodermatitis. Not all of them do this type of stuff but most.

They also tend to be sensory in one way or another. Loud noises bother them. strong smells that may not be strong to you bother them. Changes in their enviroment bother them. They touch and feel things a lot. That is the stemming.