Becoming a Better Sarah ~ 2015 Journal (The End)

[SarahDisney]

Hello, WISH journal readers!

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sarah.

Basic info about me: 28, live with my parents, having a bit of a rough time re: work life, but thankfully I’ve still got a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food to eat. I guess that makes me lucky, right?

I’ve really gone back and forth a lot on whether or not to post this. Truth? I probably shouldn’t be posting it. I have a history of sharing very personal information on the internet, and while I’m a lot better than I used to be, I’m nervous that posting something like this will lead me to share too much. But there are some things I want to share, things I want to put out there, no matter how personal they are, because they mean something to me, and I want to be able to share those meaningful moments with someone.

So that brings us here, my WISH journal. I can’t tell you what it will be, but I can tell you what it won’t be: it won’t be anything relevant to anyone but me. I don’t have information to share about running (I barely know what I’m doing). I can’t help you figure out how to lose weight (mostly it happens when I’m not trying). I can’t inspire you with a story of someone who rose from the ashes and overcame all obstacles to rise to the top. Mostly because according to most metrics I’ve never had any obstacles in my life (I disagree, but that's a rant for a different day), and I don’t think I will ever rise to the top.

What I can do is share my triumphs and failures, and the everyday boringness of my life. I’ll try to post a few quick notes after each run (generally 2-3 times per week), put in an update every once in a while about my weight loss efforts, maybe share when something good happens, general thoughts on running/health/ etc, and probably the occasional rant about life when something rough happens.

So pull up a chair, read along, and follow my quest to be a better me. Feel free to say hi, share your own experiences, or whatever – this may be intensely personal for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear from everyone else out there too!

 

[SarahDisney]

How Far Can I Go?
​

Some people run marathons. Some people do triathalons (not an option for me because I can’t really swim much … or bike). Some people run a 5K, 10K, Half Marathon, and Marathon on consecutive days.

So far, all I've done was one 5K - Princess Weekend at WDW (back in February). It was my first race as an adult, and I was super nervous about it, but still loved it.

As for my goal? I always say my goal is half-marathon. I have no interest in marathons, and I’m totally okay with that. If my sister wants to do the Disney World marathon, I’ll just be her #1 Cheerleader.

But some days I worry that I won’t make it to half marathon distance. I know that if I work hard enough and I’m careful not to do anything that would aggravate my joints too much (history of knee & back pain FTW), it’s possible. But I don’t know for sure that I’ll make it, and that scares me a bit.

I want to be okay with 10K being my farthest distance. Yes, it means I’ll never get a runDisney Coast-to-Coast medal, and I’ll never get to run through Angel Stadium or Magic Kingdom. Yes, it means once again not being able to achieve a goal I’ve set for myself (unfortunately, a common theme in my life). And I think I could cope with all of these things except …

I can only do one Disney 10K. Not ever, but each year. I would love to do Disney 10Ks on both coasts, maybe switch up race weekends every once in a while (even if I make it to halfs, I know I won’t be able to do every race weekend every year, but I’d like to do different weekends on different years). But there’s only one 10K I can do – Marathon Weekend.

Why?
Much like Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski, I don’t roll on Shabbos. I also don’t run on Shabbos (although I know some people who do), and even if I did, I wouldn’t participate in a race on Shabbos. Shabbos, for those of you unfamiliar with the intricacies of Judaism, is the Jewish Sabbath starts at sundown Friday and ends at nightfall Saturday (it’s about 25 hours long), and (since I’m Orthodox) comes with a whole host of “restrictions” (I hesitate to call them that because it sounds bad, but it really is the easiest way to explain it). I’m not going to go into all the details (the more you learn about me, the more details about my religious observance will come out), but suffice it to say that I am not willing to do a race on a Saturday morning.

There is only one Disney 10K that is not on Saturday morning … and that is the Marathon Weekend 10K. So I’m signed up for it. But I really wish I could do other Disney 10Ks.


And that’s why I feel like I have to push myself to do half marathons, even if I don’t love the distance. Because stopping after 10Ks means that I’m limited to only that one race weekend. And I don’t want to do be limited. I want to do races that run through my favorite parks (Disney’s California Adventure, Disneyland Park, and Magic Kingdom). I want to do races on both coasts with all sorts of themes. I want the option of variety, and the only way to do that is to move up to half marathon distance.*

And who knows, maybe I’ll actually end up loving half marathons. I won’t know until I try one!

*Yes, I know that I can do 5Ks almost every race weekend and that the 5Ks in CA go through both parks, but I’d really like to be able to do a longer distance. I’m glad I did my last trip for “just” the 5K, but I really wish I had gotten more out of the weekend.

 

[Keels]

Hey!! So great to see you journaling here! I look forward to reading along and supporting you as you train and progress!

I hear you on the half distance. My husband HATES the half distance but loves the 10k distance and has become pretty good at it. I know you can too!

It stinks that you can only do one Disney 10k, but good on you for sticking to what you believe in.

Rock 'n' Roll does quite a few race weekends that have the 10k on Sunday. We did the 10k in New Orleans this year and it was a Sunday. I know it's not Disney, but it's a great way to see new cities!

 

[SarahDisney]

Hey!! So great to see you journaling here! I look forward to reading along and supporting you as you train and progress!

and thanks! I really appreciate the support!

I hear you on the half distance. My husband HATES the half distance but loves the 10k distance and has become pretty good at it. I know you can too!

Thanks. I'm pretty sure I'll be okay with the 10k distance, but I get so nervous about the half distance.
Then again, when I started training for my first 5k, I couldn't even imagine making it to 10k any time soon, and half marathon was 6 years away. That timeline got accelerated and I've been okay so far, so hopefully I'll be okay with the half distance too.

It stinks that you can only do one Disney 10k, but good on you for sticking to what you believe in.

It's definitely rough to not have the options, but some things are more important. The good thing about it was that when we decided to do a 10k next, we automatically knew which weekend we were doing and didn't have to choose between multiple weekends.

Rock 'n' Roll does quite a few race weekends that have the 10k on Sunday. We did the 10k in New Orleans this year and it was a Sunday. I know it's not Disney, but it's a great way to see new cities!

I've actually heard that people really enjoy the Rock 'n' Roll series, so I will definitely look into it. I can't really travel for races much (Disney being the exception, because we're doing that instead of our regular Disney vacation), but it's good to know for when I can start travelling more (and also if they add 10ks to any of the weekends within bus/train distance of me).

 

[SarahDisney]

This Week's Goal & Today's Run​

As part of my weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey, I've decided to start a new "goal" every week. I'm hoping that (for the most part) I can continue each goal after the first week, but I'm really just going to focus on the one goal each week.

This week's goal: tracking all of my breakfasts & lunches Sunday - Friday. I'm usually pretty good about breakfast, but if I'm busy or I've been snacking badly, I don't always track my lunch. So this week I want to track 6 breakfasts and 6 lunches. I think it's a good start and definitely achievable.

I'll worry about snacks and dinner, which are a little harder, a different week, but this week I'm starting with something that I think will help me get my tracking back "on track."

Today's Run:
Today's run was my first long run of the week (my plan for the next few weeks is 2 long runs and one short run, either in the park or on the treadmill).

Basic stats:
58:12 minutes
4.50 miles
12'56" average pace


My fastest mile was mile 2 (12'23") and my slowest was mile 4 (13'14", but it would have been at least 10-15 seconds faster if I hadn't stopped to refill my water bottle)

That's a bit slower than I usually am (I'm usually somewhere between 12'00" and 12'30"), but I knew that was going to happen because I slowed down a bit in the second half. I don't know if it was because it got hotter once the clouds started to go away and the sun came out, or if I was just losing my motivation, but for me the goal was just to get out there, run the 58 minutes, and try to reach 4.5 miles, and I was able to do that.

My run is mostly divided into 10 minute segments, and I have an interval timer set up that allows for a 30 second walk break at the end of each segment. I don't always take the walk break - it depends on how I feel. Today I only took one walk break, about halfway through, and that was my nutrition break (aka I switched to walking for about a minute and ate a few jelly beans). I've been taking my walk breaks a lot lately, so I think the fact that I was able to get through almost the whole run without walking was definitely a good sign.


My goal for right now is to hit 4.75 miles at least once before the end of May (it's a bit ambitious, but I think I can do it), and to hit 5 miles twice before my birthday (in August). The way I currently do my runs is that I add 1 minute to the run every week (I do my runs based on time, not distance, because I know that if I go by distance, I'll push myself too hard just to get it done quickly). Between the extra time and the fact that I know I can go faster in the right conditions, I think my goals should be achievable.


Long term, I want to be up to 10k by November and at or over 7 miles by race day (January 8th). I'm hoping to do my first half marathon in September 2016 (yes, Disneyland), so I need to ramp up the training a bit by then. But I'm waiting until after I hit the 10k distance to worry about it.


Today was also supposed to be the final test of my new FlipBelt. I've had a lot of trouble with it moving around on previous runs. Today it moved up to my waist once (I prefer to wear it on my hips), but when I moved it back, it stayed in place. I was expecting to have problems with it, but since I didn't, I don't know what to do. I really like the way it looks and it is pretty comfortable (and holds all of my stuff), but I don't know if it will always stay in place. I'm considering ordering a Fitletic belt from Amazon, using my brother's Prime account to get it ASAP, and then trying that and just seeing which one I like better (and I'll return the other one). But it's definitely a hard decision.

 

[ursalita]

Hey Sarah! I noticed the link in your signature so I came over to read. I had to figure out what a WISH journal was. I think it's awesome that you want to do a 10k and maybe a half. I'm going to follow along here and hope that you can give me some motivation.

 

[SarahDisney]

Hey Sarah! I noticed the link in your signature so I came over to read. I had to figure out what a WISH journal was. I think it's awesome that you want to do a 10k and maybe a half. I'm going to follow along here and hope that you can give me some motivation.

The WISH boards are a section of the board dedicated to being healthy, which is a pretty all-consuming part of my life. People come on here and chronicle their journeys, so I figured I'd try my hand at that.
I think you should do a Disney race - I think you'll love it! It's definitely hard to fit it around schedules, especially because they tend to not be during school breaks so you have to decide whether to pull the boys out of school or go by yourself (or with friends). But I know you've done Couch 2 5K, so you can do at least a 5K, and if you keep training, you can do the longer races too!

Thanks for stopping by!

 

[ursalita]

The WISH boards are a section of the board dedicated to being healthy, which is a pretty all-consuming part of my life. People come on here and chronicle their journeys, so I figured I'd try my hand at that.
I think you should do a Disney race - I think you'll love it! It's definitely hard to fit it around schedules, especially because they tend to not be during school breaks so you have to decide whether to pull the boys out of school or go by yourself (or with friends). But I know you've done Couch 2 5K, so you can do at least a 5K, and if you keep training, you can do the longer races too!

Thanks for stopping by!

Thanks. Maybe some day I'll be able to take a trip to WDW when there is a race going on. I did the Color Run 5k last year but I ran with Aidan and he took a lot of walking breaks. I haven't run in a while so I just started another C25K program but I'm making it more challenging by trying to increase my pace.

 

[SarahDisney]

My Longest Run to Date!​

I went for a decent run this morning … not my best, but still pretty good, even great at times, and I went my furthest distance ever.

Basic stats:
58:10 minutes
4.72 miles
12'19" average pace

Fastest mile was mile 3 at 11:41; slowest was mile 2 at 12:56.
I had to take a pit stop about halfway through mile 2, and once I restarted, I had a hard time getting back into a good rhythm.
Looking at the splits, my first 2 miles were pretty close in pace and miles 3 & 4 were pretty close … but there was a big difference between the two “halves” of the run. I think that I wasn’t doing great at the beginning, but once I finally got into a rhythm after my pit stop, I did a lot better.

I actually had one moment where I really felt great and gave myself an extra push. My music is usually just background noise for me, but sometimes a song will come up and just trigger something in my brain that pushes me.
Today that push came from a line from one of the two new songs on my running playlist, “One Headlight” by The Wallflowers. The line? “We'll run until she's out of breath, She ran until there's nothin' left...” I think just having the word “run” in there pushed me to run harder. I love when that happens!

It definitely felt good to get so close to my end-of-May goal of 4.75 miles!
I may go for a short run Friday morning, but more likely this will be my last run until Tuesday. We’ll see.

 

[ursalita]

Sounds like a great run! Congrats on going your furthest distance.

I'm interested in your running playlist if you want to share it. I usually listen to podcasts but the right mix of music might help me along like it seemed to help you today.

 

[SarahDisney]

I'm interested in your running playlist if you want to share it. I usually listen to podcasts but the right mix of music might help me along like it seemed to help you today.

My running playlist changes pretty frequently - I add or remove songs based on my mood. It's a pretty eclectic mix, though - some rap, some rock, some pop, it all depends on my mood when I'm adding songs.

Here's the current playlist (in no particular order - I shuffle the order of the playlist before each run):

• Fall Out Boy, “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)”
• B.o.B. feat. Rivers Cuomo, “Magic”
• Kevin Rudolf & Lil’ Wayne, “Let it Rock”
• Linkin Park, “Bleed It Out”
• Icona Pop, “I Love It”
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Ray Dalton, “Can’t Hold Us”
• The Wallflowers, “One Headlight”
• Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child O Mine”
• Subliminal, “Toro”
• Metallica, “Enter Sandman”
• Fall Out Boy, “Centuries”
• Karmin, “Acapella”
• Far East Movement feat. The Cataracs & Dev, “Like a G6″
• Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Higher Ground”
• Avril Lavigne, “Girlfriend”
• Nelly, “Heart of a Champion”
• Jay-Z, “Empire State of Mind”
• Imagine Dragons, “It’s Time”
• Dropkick Murphys, “I’m Shipping Up to Boston”
• The Brian Setzer Orchestra, “Gettin’ in the Mood”
• Sia, “Chandelier”
• Jay-Z feat. Kanye West & Rihanna, “Run This Town”
• Flo Rida feat. Ke$ha, “Right Round"
• Bruno Mars, “Locked Out of Heaven”
• The Wanted, “Chasing the Sun”
• Ke$ha, “TiK ToK”
• Avril Lavigne, “Smile”
• Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling”

The playlist is pretty long - somewhere between 25 and 30 songs, so I get a different mix of music on every run.

 

[roxymama]

I had a few moments where I was really digging a song lately too. Some of these have been good for me this week.
Run the World (Girls) - Beyonce
Sledgehammer - Miley Cyrus
Turn Down for What - DJ Snake, Lil John
Light Em Up - Fall Out Boy
UpTown Funk - Bruno Mars

Mostly I just listen to the Itunes Radio Pop Workout station:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/station/idra.937899039?t=rEJ_onL8DKJD0oiM

 

[SarahDisney]

I had a few moments where I was really digging a song lately too. Some of these have been good for me this week.
Run the World (Girls) - Beyonce
Sledgehammer - Miley Cyrus
Turn Down for What - DJ Snake, Lil John
Light Em Up - Fall Out Boy
UpTown Funk - Bruno Mars

Mostly I just listen to the Itunes Radio Pop Workout station:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/station/idra.937899039?t=rEJ_onL8DKJD0oiM

Those are really good songs! (Minus the Miley Cyrus, who I refuse to listen to on principle) Thanks for sharing!
I have to check out that iTunes station - I can't use it while I run (I'm an Android user, so no iTunes), but I'm sure I can get some great ideas from it.

 

[SarahDisney]

To Race or Not To Race?​

I always say that I'm not doing this just to do races - I'll only do races when they have some element of fun for me (or, in the future, if I need a proof of time for a Disney Half Marathon). I’m perfectly happy with that decision – I don’t feel any need to do every race out there.

But there’s one race that I keep thinking I should do. Every year my synagogue hosts a 5K race. And I keep feeling like I should do it.

There’s no reason for me to want to do it. I don’t get a medal, there’s nothing special involved in the race (other than ice cream at the end), and I’m not wild about running a race that will be run entirely by people I know. I will most likely end up seeing people I don't particularly want to see. I asked my sister, and she has no interest in the race.

But I can’t stop thinking that I should do it. So, I figured I’d ask the internet’s opinion.
Dear DIS people, what do you think I should do? Race or no race?

 

[Keels]

Hmmmm. That's a toughie.

Is there a purpose to the run - just a way to increase fellowship among members? Raise money for the synagogue or a charity it supports? Or just a general "forced fun" time?

I guess, if it was me and I knew this was an annual thing, I'd probably bite the bullet and do it once - and sooner rather than later. My thinking is that if the members knew I was increasingly getting in to the whole competitive running thing, I'd get nagged more to run the race in like an "oh! You're running [insert race here]? You should run our race! It's such a great time!". Do it once and then move on. It's a 5K, so you're really just giving up maybe an hour of your life for it and think of it as doing a good deed.

 

[SarahDisney]

Is there a purpose to the run - just a way to increase fellowship among members? Raise money for the synagogue or a charity it supports? Or just a general "forced fun" time?

It raises money for Israel, which is a cause I support and something that we do very regularly at my synagogue (we're a very Israel-centric synagogue - we have fundraisers a few times a year, a number of members visit Israel a few times a year, many of the kids go to study there for a year after high school - we do a lot for Israel, which I think is nice).
I tend to skip the "forced fun" events ...

I guess, if it was me and I knew this was an annual thing, I'd probably bite the bullet and do it once - and sooner rather than later. My thinking is that if the members knew I was increasingly getting in to the whole competitive running thing, I'd get nagged more to run the race in like an "oh! You're running [insert race here]? You should run our race! It's such a great time!". Do it once and then move on. It's a 5K, so you're really just giving up maybe an hour of your life for it and think of it as doing a good deed.

I'm nervous that I won't be able to do it just once.
As of right now, most people in my community don't know that I run (and most of the ones that do aren't the type to pressure me into doing the race). I'm a little afraid that if I do it once, when the race comes around next year, the people in charge will try to pressure me into doing it again. Or try to pressure me into doing other local races that they're doing.
I think if it was a one-time thing I would definitely do it, but I'm afraid that because it's every year, I'd get roped into doing it again and again even if I don't enjoy it the first time.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

As of right now, most people in my community don't know that I run (and most of the ones that do aren't the type to pressure me into doing the race). I'm a little afraid that if I do it once, when the race comes around next year, the people in charge will try to pressure me into doing it again. Or try to pressure me into doing other local races that they're doing.
I think if it was a one-time thing I would definitely do it, but I'm afraid that because it's every year, I'd get roped into doing it again and again even if I don't enjoy it the first time.

I never do races like this. I do races for charity all the time, but not races run or organized by friends. This may sound selfish, but my running is for me. It is my "me" time. Most of the rest of my life is dedicated to others. I don't want that creeping into my running.

 

[SarahDisney]

I never do races like this. I do races for charity all the time, but not races run or organized by friends. This may sound selfish, but my running is for me. It is my "me" time. Most of the rest of my life is dedicated to others. I don't want that creeping into my running.

So that's kind of how I'm thinking about it to ... yes, I wave to people I know when I see them while I'm running, but most of the time the run is just about me, and I don't want to suddenly become the friend/neighbor who you can count on to participate in your race/activity. I want to do the runs I like and not let pressure from others influence my choice of runs. I'll probably end up doing charity races if its a cause I support or I like the course, but I don't want to do it because someone I know is involved in it.
It's good to know I'm not the only one who sees it like this.

 

[ursalita]

Hey Sarah. I don't really have any advice to offer but I think if it's giving you this much grief maybe skip it and just concentrate on races that make you happy.

 

[SarahDisney]

Hey Sarah. I don't really have any advice to offer but I think if it's giving you this much grief maybe skip it and just concentrate on races that make you happy.

That's really good advice! I think one of the reasons why I'm hesitant to do it is because the decision is stressing me out ... I don't know that it's worth the stress.