Declining a holiday party invite... Do you feel you need to give a reason...

[LovesTimone]

So we have been invited to a holiday open house party at some friends house... We declined, I rsvp'ed and just said sorry we can't make it... hope you have a great time... we are just very casual friends with... they are friend of some other friends sorta thing....

I got a text, asking why we weren't coming?

I rsvp'ed and think that should be enough... most people don't even rsvp...

I responded with "we have other obligations, sorry we can't make it and again have a wonderful time"...

She texted back... " What other OBLIGATIONS ???"

Which I did not respond back to...

DH is just tell her, its because her house is filthy and disgusting.... and there is cat hair everywhere, so bad you can't sit down... without getting up and looking like you are part Yeti, and we don't want to hear about her political views that she will be spewing the whole time... and there was some other comments that aren't Disney friendly.... so the truth basically...

We do have another function earlier in the day, so not really a out and out lie... but a stretch... for sure...

So should I once again respond "Sorry we can't make it"... and leave it at that... or just not respond back at all...

 

[RamblingMad]

You have to realize that if you turn down invites eventually you won’t get any.

 

[soccerdad72]

No, I wouldn't go into details. Holiday time is always tight - there's always an expectation that many people will have other things going on during weekends in December.

 

[L&Lfan]

Well, maybe they accept the invitations to events they want to go to. I avoid homes where the pets are running around myself.

 

[lovin'fl]

I wouldn't respond. You gave your RSVP. Her pushing is a bit odd.

 

[skyblue17]

You do not have to give a reason.

The holiday season is long, can be stressful and can require a LOT of socializing, which can be exhausting. Anyone who opts to have a gathering should do so noting that lots of people have gatherings and not everyone is going to be able, or willing, or in the mood, to attend every single one of them.

 

[anniemae]

You do not owe anyone an explanation. She is being persistent for some reason. Sometimes people just can't take "no" for an answer and will try to persuade you to change/move things around to fit their schedule.

Personally I would not be rude (even though it may feel good LOL). I would reply with, "it's such a busy time of year and we have another party we already committed to." and leave it at that. If she continues to persist, I would probably ignore it.

 

[Searc]

No is a complete sentence and you do not owe her any explanation. Don't respond to the constant badgering. Ignore her. Your other obligations are none of her business, even if it is sitting on the couch drinking hot cocoa while watching Christmas movies.

 

[cabanafrau]

Considering the conditions you outlined about the home and the political windbagging, I'm wondering if most/all of the invitations are being declined.

 

[RangerPooh]

I don;t think you need to provide another explanation. As someone mentioned, the holidays are tight. What you provided should suffice. Ignore her repeated texts.

 

[Hikergirl]

If it is an invite to a close family or friend's party then I would give a reason, anyone else- nope.
Her texts are rude.

 

[Moliphino]

Your response was perfectly adequate, their continued pushing is rude.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I agree with a PP maybe too many people are declining and they are getting frazzled wanting to grasp at straws for why people are declining. It'd probably make me uneasy about accepting future invites if they are being that nosy though. Sometimes what people are doing comes up in casual conversation but this is far from casual conversation.

I'll kinda differ though from others I don't think it's Holiday season that makes this any different than another situation. It just may make it easier to give a reason that sounds more plausible to decline. Yes of course people are often very busy around the Holiday season but that doesn't necessarily mean you would want to go to the party if it was at some other time of year or you wouldn't have other obligations.

 

[lynxstch]

So we have been invited to a holiday open house party at some friends house... We declined, I rsvp'ed and just said sorry we can't make it... hope you have a great time... we are just very casual friends with... they are friend of some other friends sorta thing....

I got a text, asking why we weren't coming?

I rsvp'ed and think that should be enough... most people don't even rsvp...

I responded with "we have other obligations, sorry we can't make it and again have a wonderful time"...

She texted back... " What other OBLIGATIONS ???"

Which I did not respond back to...

DH is just tell her, its because her house is filthy and disgusting.... and there is cat hair everywhere, so bad you can't sit down... without getting up and looking like you are part Yeti, and we don't want to hear about her political views that she will be spewing the whole time... and there was some other comments that aren't Disney friendly.... so the truth basically...

We do have another function earlier in the day, so not really a out and out lie... but a stretch... for sure...

So should I once again respond "Sorry we can't make it"... and leave it at that... or just not respond back at all...

Quoted --to follow the DIS rule~

Sorry but the bolded made me laugh and cringe, as we have relatives who are pretty much the same as that. They have issues with fleas, mice, too many cats running loose etc. Not the way I want to spend my holidays. I feel that you have responded as adequately as needed. Just keep not answering if she keeps asking. She just plain sounds rude,, or as they say down here, 'ignorant', lol!

 

[wenrob]

As mentioned “no” is a complete sentence and it’s okay to say no matter what time of year it is. It doesn’t matter what you are or aren’t doing, you gave your answer and that should be enough. No need to explain yourself. I wouldn’t respond.

 

[sharona]

I would ignore her last text. You don’t owe her any more info - especially if she’s only a friend of a friend.

If it was a close friend and I really couldn’t make it I would give the actual reason. If it is something I really didn’t want to do but wasn’t comfortable telling my friend that, I would make up a polite excuse so as not to hurt their feelings.

I have a relative with a nasty house and I avoid their invites with various versions of the “other obligations” response. Just remember not to post on Facebook that night about your nice quiet night having cocoa and watching Christmas movies!

 

[fly girl]

Do not respond.

You sent the RSVP in a timely fashion. Then upon her text you responded appropriately. You have done more that what is expected, be done.

I do find it very odd she would ask what obligation. That is none of her business.

 

[wgeo]

I with everyone else. You have already gone above and beyond to rsvp politely and again to respond to her first text politely. I would just not respond at all to the last text, just ignore it.

 

[DisneyKoyote]

I had a close friend like that- if you said no to her she would always push "why not, what are you doing that you can't come". It got to the point that everyone would be scared(?) of simply saying no to her and would lie to get out of attending events (not in town, have to work late, etc). Let's just say she has very few friends these days...

 

[MrsDuck]

Don't respond but don't be surprised if you two are done being friends after this. (no loss in my book based on your post about them!)