I Find It Hard to be Friendly with People With Opposing Views....

[Jdbsfw]

Not getting along with a person based on honest political differences is a sign of a low IQ and high self importance.....There’s a rational position to take on virtually every side of a political position out there.

 

[LSUmiss]

Not getting along with a person based on honest political differences is a sign of a low IQ and high self importance.....There’s a rational position to take on virtually every side of a political position out there.

Unless the person you find yourself unable to get along with is those things. I don’t care what others views are (although I may judge them based on certain things), but I’m not going to deal with rants & drama over it. That’s the only time I find myself unable to get along with someone with different views.

 

[robinb]

I think it depends on what "opposing views" they have. Political? Not a problem. I find my FB to be an echo chamber and reading my "opposing view" friends posts are interesting. Religious? Also not a problem as long as they don't try to convert me. Mostly anything else? Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I will be happy to steer clear of something that I know I don't agree with to maintain harmony.

BUT ... I will not be friends or be friendly with a bigot or a racist. I cut off all contact with my uncle once my grandmother died because he was a bigot and racist and I never looked back. I cannot be friends or friendly with someone who is violent or who is toxic and hurts people intentionally (including emotionally).

 

[kerry1379]

Personally, I think we NEED to be friends with people with varing, even opposing views. (Not all views, I understand that-for example views that are deeply offensive to us. BUT, if a person has a whole laundry list of views they find unacceptable in other people...then I think the problem is with that person.) Otherwise we are like the CEO that surrounds themselves with "yes men." How will our view of the world ever be challenged? As much as we like to think we are always right, we aren't. And sometimes we can't understand something from our own perspective. But an honest, good intentioned conversation with a friend with opposing views can help all to understand each other better. It doesn't mean you have to agree. But respect is critical. If ranting and raving is involved, or forcing one's views upon someone else is involved-then that friendship just isn't going to work.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Unless the person you find yourself unable to get along with is those things. I don’t care what others views are (although I may judge them based on certain things), but I’m not going to deal with rants & drama over it. That’s the only time I find myself unable to get along with someone with different views.

But what you’re talking about is a personality issue, not an opposing viewpoint.

 

[mom2rtk]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

And there are far more bigots claiming theirs is just an enlightened alternate opinion and people are jumping to conclusions than there are people jumping to conclusions. Bigots rarely admit they are bigots. They nearly always claim some fault with those calling them out for it such as complaining about PC or griping about how their free speech rights are being violated etc etc.

 

[North of Mouse]

on important things....

You?

No, as long as people are civil and realize that we each have our own views on most things and it's a very personal matter to which we are all entitled.
Sometimes subjects are such that they have to be squelched quickly, or are off limits because for some people it's their way or the highway.

I can be friends as long each one respects we all have our own rights to what 'we think/believe'.

I have a SIL that thinks because I don't want a dog in my house I'm sub human. She doesn't seem to 'get it' that she can do in her house what she likes (and I respect that), 'but' I also have the same right (she doesn't understand that! LOL) So, because we are family, I ignore that subject with her - not worth a fuss about.

 

[mom2rtk]

And there are far more bigots claiming theirs is just an enlightened alternate opinion and people are jumping to conclusions than there are people jumping to conclusions. Bigots rarely admit they are bigots. They nearly always claim some fault with those calling them out for it.

And? Both can be true. Bigots denying that's what they are and people making false accusations.

 

[cruiser21]

Nope. I have no trouble getting along with people with opposing views. I find people with opposing views like to label people with my point of view a certain way. It's happened to me numerous times on these boards. I'm self confident in what I believe in, and I respect other people's right to their viewpoints.
At work I can find common ground with just about anybody. I just stay away from topics that we disagree on. Some of my best friends have completely opposing political views then I do. I think their views are ridiculous, but I just keep it to myself.

 

[Wendy31]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

Yes, I agree!!

On Facebook, people will say, "If you voted for ___________ [insert whatever candidate], we can't be friends" assumedly because of the above reasons.

And I find this attitude both sad & narrow-minded. There are all sorts of reasons why a person may vote a certain way, & different issues are going to be more important to others which is why one person may vote for one candidate over another in one election & another candidate in another election & have absolutely nothing to do w/ racism or bigotry or sexual/gender orientation.

I don't think I've ever in my life completely lined up equally w/ a candidate's every issue.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

And? Both can be true. Bigots denying that's what they are and people making false accusations.

Didn't say both weren't true. I just posted something you left out.

 

[cruiser21]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

I this is the biggest problem in our country right now.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

One of my biggest pet peeves during the election was.."oh you voted for __ you must be ___"

It still happens of course when people refer to someone as a ___ voter or a ___ voter and assume that person must be ___ based on that.

In my day to day life I don't use racists, bigots and homophobes to describe any and all people whose opinion differs from mine though I certaintly see it in other people--mostly on social media though.

For example: On my father-in-law's girlfriend I don't label her as a homophobe simply because she doesn't agree with gay marriage. On the other hand I have seen people talk when I was in college for example on how not being heterosexual meant you were going to..well you know and that if you were accepting of those who were not heterosexual you were also going to..well you know. And that was the nicest things being said..that interaction would lead me to label those people more as homophobic.

 

[LSUmiss]

Of course everyone is quick to say they are open minded except with racists, bigots, homophobes, etc. I think that is quite rational.

The problem is that people are too quick to assume anyone with an opposing political opinion, or who voted a particular way in an election is racist, bigoted or homophobic. I'm actually shocked at all the labeling and assumptions made without actual evidence. It makes it hard to get a read on those who really are just drawing the line at those who are racists, bigots and homophobes, and those who just assume anyone with a slightly different opinion is a racist, bigot or homophobe.

I can see that, but sometimes when ppl tell me what they like about the policies or actions of a particular candidate, it’s hard not to judge if I find those actions or policies to be homophobic or racist. I can still be friendly/cordial as long as they are, but I do judge. I personally don’t know how to reconcile supporting policies/actions that I think or racist or homophobic & claim not to be that.

 

[cruiser21]

I can see that, but sometimes when ppl tell me what they like about the policies or actions of a particular candidate, it’s hard not to judge if I find those actions or policies to be homophobic or racist. I can still be friendly/cordial as long as they are, but I do judge. I personally don’t know how to reconcile supporting policies/actions that I think or racist or homophobic & claim not to be that.

We all judge there's no way around it, but if you can get past your religious or political differences your may find you actually like the person. I've found that the side that preaches tolerance is only tolerant when you agree with them. I don't know if this is what is what is being taught in schools these days, but it's rather sad if that's the case.

 

[LSUmiss]

We all judge there's no way around it, but if you can't get past your religious or political differences your may find you actually like the person. I've found that the side that preaches tolerance is only tolerant when you agree with them. I don't know if this is what is what is being taught in schools these days, but it's rather sad if that's the case.

So that side that preaches tolerance as you say should be more “tolerant” of racists & homophobes? Sometimes (on both sides) it’s not just political differences. It’s things that ppl are moral & ethically opposed to. Again, no problem being friendly or cordial but friends or more is a huge leap to me.

 

[cruiser21]

So that side that preaches tolerance as you say should be more “tolerant” of racists & homophobes? Sometimes (on both sides) it’s not just political differences. It’s things that ppl are moral & ethically opposed to. Again, no problem being friendly or cordial but friends or more is a huge leap to me.

Just because someone has different political or religious views than you do doesn't make them a racist or homophobe. I'm sure my political beliefs would lead you to believe I'm racist or homophobic when actually I'm not. I manage to have friends who I STONGLY disagree with their lifetstyle choices, politics and religion, but we get along great in other areas. If you want to go through life judging people that way then that's up to you. I'm certainly not going to go through life that way. If I did I would miss out on having some great friends.

 

[LSUmiss]

Just because someone has different political or religious views than you do doesn't make them a racist or homophobe. I'm sure my political beliefs would lead you to believe I'm racist or homophobic when actually I'm not. I manage to have friends who I STONGLY disagree with their lifetstyle choices, politics and religion, but we get along great in other areas. If you want to go through judging people that way then that's up to you. I'm certainly not going to go through life that way. If I did I would miss out on having some great friends.

It’s hard to discuss b/c we can’t get into specifics without maybe getting too political. Political views don’t make me think someone is racist. Racist statements/actions or condoning others’ racist statements/actions do. There are some things that I am morally & ethically opposed to. I don’t see this as just “different”. I don’t feel like I’m missing out of being friends with ppl like this.

 

[jaiminee krikit]

Not really. I have a very good friend who I trust probably most in this world, and we have very different views on religious issues. She is very strict in her beliefs and will not stray, and I'm more of an easygoing person I guess. I even once posted a picture on FB that said something about dogs going to heaven and she argued with me about that. I just know what I can't talk to her about.

I could comment on something else, but I'm sure it's not allowed.