Ms, Mrs or Miss?

[DisLiss]

Pretty much across the board they thought Ms meant divorced. Obviously this was a long time ago, but I've always thought of it. It's one thing people thinking about your marital status by your title, it's even worse people speculating your divorce status by title!

This was part of what I meant in my comment because there was definitely a time when "Ms." indicated to some that a woman was likely divorced because they reasoned that "Miss" was for women who had not yet been married and "Mrs." was for currently married women, so people assumed Ms. meant divorced. When "Ms." started being used across the board in professional situations, my own mother complained about it because she felt "it made it sound like all the women working there are divorced." And she was far from the only adult I've heard echo that sentiment.

There are cultures where young females are addressed one way and older females are addressed another, regardless of marital status.
I believe it had to do with showing respect for the older, more experienced, people in a community.

This is a nice. In different cultures I could see it leading to people being offended that someone thought they had reached that certain age, since some cultures put more importance on youthfulness than wisdom and experience gained by age; but in cultures that give great respect across the board to their older citizens, this is a nice tradition. And quite different than our one sided multi-title custom.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Revived in order to be politically correct in how to address a female you are unsure of their marital status.

Actually, revived to help ensure women were paid equally.
Once upon a time, a married woman was forced to quit her job since she could "always" depend on her husband's pay check and unmarried men could/would take her job. This was particularly true after WW2 when women were making strides in leadership positions.

 

[WDWJDS]

Well it just burns me up that a woman’s “title”‘changes depending on her marital status, but a man is still the same whether or not he’s single, married or divorced. Can we just get rid of this archaic practice already?!

Off soapbox.

 

[L&Lfan]

Mr. = Mister
Ms. = Mistress ( regardless of marital state)

I like it!

 

[ozliz]

There’s also the use of Miss & ma’am which is pretty common in the US. I’m curious if the people using Mrs. are using it as a substitute for ma’am (since there are only two options there). Perhaps they are just assuming it’s more respectful and for adult women (vs Miss) and not understanding that it’s really just for married women and that there’s a third option for when you’re unsure.

The first time I was called ma’am by a (very polite) child in the US I was about 26 and felt sooooo old, LOL. We don’t use ma’am much in Australia. My friends kids either call me by my first name or aunty (depending on the culture). But I’ve never been around them with unfamiliar adults that they would need to address formally so other than their teachers (which varies between schools) I don’t really know what they’re taught for formally addressing adults.

 

[ozliz]

Just tell them to call you "Hun". Short for Honey if you aren't aware of US slang. Darlin' is another suggestion.

We have both hun and darlin in Australia too but they’re less common. Some people just speak that way out of habit. I don’t mind either from a woman but if darlin is coming from a man it better be in a friendly and not creepy way to everyone not just me. Luckily I’ve not experienced much of the latter since I was shopping for my first car and the salesman asked me if I liked the look or colour of any of the cars in the second hand car lot before asking anything else!!!

 

[disneychrista]

When someone calls me Ma'am it makes me feel like an old lady
I don't get upset about it but I think to myself- oh no do I look old enough to be a ma'am LOL

See that’s what I don’t get. Why does Ma’am make you feel old? As long as the person saying it is older younger than you there shouldn't be an issue.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Miss Frances.

Miss Frances.

Miss Jean here, when I was in the target age group.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I don't really care, BUT.... Back in the 80's when a friend and I were both recent graduates substitute teaching we conducted an experiment. She preferred to go by Ms, I preferred to go by Miss. We started asking the classes, generally between grades 1 and 9, what they thought those words meant. Pretty much across the board they thought Ms meant divorced. Obviously this was a long time ago, but I've always thought of it. It's one thing people thinking about your marital status by your title, it's even worse people speculating your divorce status by title!

This is actually the distinction I was taught as a child back in the 80s. Unmarried women were Miss, married women Mrs, and Ms was reserved for divorced women and those crazed radical feminists who didn’t want anyone knowing their marital status. I grew up to be one of those radicals who checks the Ms box on forms.

Given the choice, I’d prefer people not call me anything involving name or title unless in a situation where it’s actually necessary. The cashier at the grocery store fumbling with the receipt before handing it to me, looking for my name, only to then mispronounce it, or call me by my DH’s name, or mispronouncing my DH’s name while guessing the wrong title... Just don’t. This faux-personalized service isn’t working to improve my shopping experience. The nurse calling out my name in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, that makes sense and doesn’t require any use of honorifics. I don’t really mind when someone calls me ma’am — it only stings a little — but I think saying “excuse me” would be just as effective at getting my attention,

Ultimately though, I don’t give too much thought to any of it. The only form of address that gets under my skin and actually irritates me is Miss First Name. If you call me that, I will correct you (politely, of course).

 

[Hikergirl]

See that’s what I don’t get. Why does Ma’am make you feel old? As long as the person saying it is older than you there shouldn't be an issue.

Because to me it just sounds like something you'd address an elderly lady by.

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I'm in PA, been married for decades and the kids in sunday school class called me MISS .

Same. I'm in PA and whether I was married or not the parents and children I interacted with professionally have always called me Miss.

Funnily enough, my kids' teachers usually call me Mrs. followed by my kids' last name, which is different than mine, even though I sign emails and papers with my own name, and even though pretty much everyone knows that I'm divorced now. It doesn't bother me, I'll answer to just about anything

I honestly don't remember anyone at Disney referring to me by name, but it's been 2 years since our last trip, maybe I need to schedule another trip, for research purposes.

 

[jo-jo]

Same. I'm in PA and whether I was married or not the parents and children I interacted with professionally have always called me Miss.

Funnily enough, my kids' teachers usually call me Mrs. followed by my kids' last name, which is different than mine, even though I sign emails and papers with my own name, and even though pretty much everyone knows that I'm divorced now. It doesn't bother me, I'll answer to just about anything

Since a few of my students are my own grandkids, I have other kids also call me grandma.

 

[Summer2018]

Since a few of my students are my own grandkids, I have other kids also call me grandma.

That’s adorable.

 

[Skywalker]

There are cultures where young females are addressed one way and older females are addressed another, regardless of marital status.

I believe it had to do with showing respect for the older, more experienced, people in a community.

For me, personally, I don't mind "Miss" or "Mrs.". I really don't care for "Ms" as I don't like the "politically correct" changes in our society for the most part.

It's not just for females. There is also an age distinction for men...Master vs. Mister. Master for boys and Mister for adults.

Me personally I don't care if people call me Miss, Ms. or Mrs. Like I literally do not care. Be polite to me, and we're golden.

 

[NYCgrrl]

It's not just for females. There is also an age distinction for men...Master vs. Mister. Master for boys and Mister for adults.

Me personally I don't care if people call me Miss, Ms. or Mrs. Like I literally do not care. Be polite to me, and we're golden.

In my part of the world the only place I see "Master" for boys is on formal documents and correspondence such as wedding invitations and awards.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

In my part of the world the only place I see "Master" for boys is on formal documents and correspondence such as wedding invitations and awards.

This just reminded me. I got married in Kenya and because of my age at the time (34), I had to classify myself as a “Spinster” on the official paperwork. Ouch.

 

[disneychrista]

This just reminded me. I got married in Kenya and because of my age at the time (34), I had to classify myself as a “Spinster” on the official paperwork. Ouch.

I'd hate to see how they'd label me. Almost 48 and never married. Maybe by then you are just not eligible to be married.

 

[L&Lfan]

I'd hate to see how they'd label me. Almost 48 and never married. Maybe by then you are just not eligible to be married.

Probably somewhere between old maid and crone.

 

[kaytieeldr]

This is actually the distinction I was taught as a child back in the 80s. Unmarried women were Miss, married women Mrs, and Ms was reserved for divorced women and those crazed radical feminists who didn’t want anyone knowing their marital status.

It's too bad that's what you were taught (and great that it didn't stick with you. ) Women's Liberation wasn't and isn't "crazed radical feminists". It's people who know women are equal to men and should be treated that way.

Mens' titles aren't based on their marital status. Why is it different for women.

It was originally Ms in the 60s and beyond - no period because it's not an abbreviation of anything. Ms. became the common usage in Canada and the U.S. sometime in the last I don't know how many years.

It's not just for females. There is also an age distinction for men...Master vs. Mister. Master for boys and Mister for adults.

Master is more of less archaic, but more important, it never, ever indicated marital status. Whether used for children or preteens, it signified only age group. Every. Adult. Male. is addressed as mister in business and some social situations, and on those damn electronic forms that won't let you proceed until you choose a title. Bleagh!

 

[RedAngie]

This just reminded me. I got married in Kenya and because of my age at the time (34), I had to classify myself as a “Spinster” on the official paperwork. Ouch.

Back in Colonial America days, even young unmarried girls over maybe age 16 were referred to as spinsters.