No more manners

[Greatest pawpaw]

We go to wdw 2x a year. I rarely see men stand up and offer a woman their seat on the bus. Is it just me or are men lacking manners. My father would have slapped me to the other side of the bus if I would have not given a lady or child a seat on the bus.

 

[DH-2-mamaduck]

I see the same thing. Some of us still have manners and as a parent, still teach my kids manners. There of course is much more than this...all falls under my Theory of Stupidity.

DisDad's Man Law:

• No DIS Dad will sit in seat while a woman, child, disabled or elderly person stands on bus... unless there is to many people between you to offer the seat (example: I'm in back and person is in front of bus and 15 people standing in between) or you are holding children.

 

[Shanti]

We go to wdw 2x a year. I rarely see men stand up and offer a woman their seat on the bus. Is it just me or are men lacking manners. My father would have slapped me to the other side of the bus if I would have not given a lady or child a seat on the bus.

My 12 year-old son would offer a lady, old person or small child his seat. He holds the door open for people, too, and says "please" and "thank you". So there is hope for the future.

 

[Hikergirl]

As a woman it doesn't really bother me that men don't offer their seat, we are perfectly capable of standing. I mean I don't consider myself a feminist, but we aren't weaklings that need to sit on the bus.
Besides, I know the last time my dh was on a WDW bus it was a few months after he had surgery and wasn't able to stand up while the bus was moving and stopping. Of course nobody would know that, but they would probably have no problem judging his lack of manners I guess. We should just pay attention to ourselves, and if you want to offer a seat, good for you but nobody has too, and it isn't rude if they don't.
Its a bus, nothing wrong with first come first served. There will be another one along in 10 minutes.

 

[Sadie22]

I remember well the slightly-younger woman who offered me her seat on the bus on the last trip. She may have noticed I didn't look particularly steady when I didn't realize it myself. I remained standing, but I regretted it before we arrived at our destination. I could well have fallen. It is the right thing to do to offer a seat to any older person who looks tired or sick. It's a shame some are not being taught the manners we learned as children.

 

[tiggergal15]

As a women I deeply appreciate the manners given to me and yes I do expect it. Do i get it? Sometimes ..doors opened,seats offered and other thoughtful gestures...sometimes no..I am raising my son and daughters to be observant and offer the same to others...I am very proud that they now do this with no prompting any more. I too am often disappointed and dismayed at others attitudes of ignorance and selfishness...because that is just what it is...selfishness! A little kindness goes a long way .

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

Ugh, this is just annoying.
No one is entitled to a seat, if you want to get a seat so badly and there are no seats available then wait for the next bus. You aren't more entitled to a seat than someone who has also been waiting for a bus and you don't know whether or not they have a disability or not. Even if they don't, it doesn't make someone a horrible or selfish or unmannered person because they want to sit down after a long day.

 

[loves to dive]

I don't know that it's a case of manners. I'm a woman and not young (60) but more often than not I'll offer my seat to a mother with kids or someone who looks like they are on their last leg. My son is a strapping young man that looks perfectly healthy but in actuality he has permanent nerve damage in his spine. After a very long day, it would certainly be better for him to sit but he will stand, if you saw him sitting you might think he was being rude when he wasn't he was just in pain. I tend to agree with the previous poster, everyone is tired after a long day and if someone isn't able to stand, they should sit on the benches and wait for the next bus. Having said that, I have raised my son to open doors, offer his seat, say mame and sir (we are southern), etc. You would be surprised at the looks he gets when he holds doors and some people actually think that is rude and he had tons of problems in the military with sirs. Thankfully he has a very thick southern accent so they did cut him some slack.

 

[mousehockey37]

This is becoming a touchier and touchier subject. Some people are ignorant, others just don't care. Some have medical issues, some people are sitting with their families and significant others. I know if I walk 10+ miles in a park in a day, I'm gonna want to sit down. I will give up my seat, but there are other times where I'm going to keep myself planted. I have some medical issues. My DGF has many more issues than I do, so she would prefer that I sit with her. If she wants me to sit next to her, she's who is important to me, so she wins.

Again, times are changing. As a poster stated above, this isn't mom & pop 1950's. If I'm seated and we get moving and I see a kid or parent struggling, yes, I'll more than likely be willing to do something, but I also work on a situational basis.

You wanna dive deeper into manners, let's bring on the parade/fireworks ethics discussion. How about line cutting? Saving tables at quick service restaurants? How about controlling kids and not letting them run off and having parents screaming across the park to them? Maybe we could discuss how to clean up after ourselves (just because it's a vacation spot, doesn't mean you trash the place because it's "someone kids job" to clean it up). I mean, I was brought up well and also through marching band and such learned that you leave a place better than you found it.

I think there are far worse things that could use a manners discussion than seating on a bus.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

As a women I deeply appreciate the manners given to me and yes I do expect it. Do i get it? Sometimes ..doors opened,seats offered and other thoughtful gestures...sometimes no..I am raising my son and daughters to be observant and offer the same to others...I am very proud that they now do this with no prompting any more. I too am often disappointed and dismayed at others attitudes of ignorance and selfishness...because that is just what it is...selfishness! A little kindness goes a long way .

I must admit, I'm puzzled by the bolded. As for the underlined, I could not agree more.

 

[tiggergal15]

I must admit, I'm puzzled by the bolded. As for the underlined, I could not agree more.

For example..if I am walking towards a door or elevator..and am with a man or a man approaches with me ...in my mind he is going to hold the door and let me enter first...that's my expectation...but in reality...doesn't happen..

As for the selfishness..crowding ahead of people..taking up more space than you need while others stand..letting a door shut behind you in someone's face instead of holding it for a second...those types of things are just selfish...i guess I'm just very thoughtful and old-fashioned...I realize this is not typical...just who I am

 

[Gracie09]

oh boy this topic again...and as a first post

 

[DisneyWishes14]

My DS9 and I will always offer a seat to someone who looks like they could use it no matter their gender (I'm a woman, BTW). I can actually recall two instances in our many WDW trips where two men went out of their way to be courteous and helpful to us. One was on a bus on the way back to AKL. My DS was quite young and I was with him alone. I had a folded stroller, a bag and my DS ended up falling asleep on me. When we stopped at AKL, there was no way I could pick up the bag, stroller and my DS. Without asking, a very kind man took my stroller off the bus and opened it for me so all I had to do was pick up my son, step off the bus and place him in his stroller. It was so helpful! Another time, we were standing behind a garbage can in the Main St. hub in MK trying to catch a glimplse of the parade and there was a big family in front of us right on the curb who very obviously had staked out their prime spot long beforehand. One of the dad's turned around and gestured for my DS to join his children sitting on the curb (he didn't speak English, so simply used hand gestures to invite him to sit). It was SO nice and my DS really enjoyed watching the parade with the other children. So there are still kind people in the world!!!

 

[mousehockey37]

For example..if I am walking towards a door or elevator..and am with a man or a man approaches with me ...in my mind he is going to hold the door and let me enter first...that's my expectation...but in reality...doesn't happen..

But isn't that being selfish? Expecting doors and such opened? Isn't that a certain level of ignorance?

Times are changing.

Maybe the manners should just change to: Do unto others.

 

[disneyseniors]

I am considered "elderly", upper 60's, with some painful medical problems. The problem is that I look fine; my disease is an invisible one, unfortunately. My 70 y/o husband had recent back surgery, but he still offered his seat to women, "elderly", etc, even though he needed to sit so he won't fall.
I have been pleasantly surprised at the many, many times I have been offered a seat. It is very gratifying and very appreciated. And yes, I do wait for another bus that is not full, but sometimes the pain causes me to get on a crowded bus.
So, chivalry is not dead. And the kindness and consideration of others is appreciated, but not expected. And I find that manners are still to be found.

 

[MamaBelle4]

As a mother with several small children, I certainly appreciate it when I am offered a seat.

I do not expect it though. How do I know you aren't exhausted, have some kind of physical issue or just had a blister pop on your foot. If I need a seat, I'll wait for one. I don't assume all the menfolk will vacate their seats because *I* walked aboard.

 

[Hikergirl]

There is a big difference in offering help to someone who clearly could use it, and offering help to someone just because they are a woman.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I actually teach both genders of my kids the same manners. They are young and healthy (as are their parents, to a lesser degree), so we all hold doors for people, or get up, etc. I also teach them to always say thank you for kindness shown them, whether it is a seat given, a door held, a help picking up a spill, etc. No one should get offended when someone does something nice for them - that's rude - just like no one should get in a huff if they are not offered above-and-beyond niceness - that's equally rude. Be thankful for the kindness shown you and try to always repay it...I think there's even a saying about "paying it forward" that everyone always likes on Facebook, but then forgets in real life...

I will say, though, they always know to be extra nice to pregnant women, b/c their mom went through 4 eventual bed rest pregnancies and they know how hard it was for me, so they assume it's that bad for all pregnant women...and I support that 100%!

 

[piccolopat]

If women want to be treated as equals, then they shouldn't expect men to give up their seats just because they are a woman. I am thankful when a man holds a door open for me but I never expect it and I never consider a man rude if he doesn't. Riding on public transit as I do in NYC means first come first served. I don't think the Disney buses should be any different. If someone has a problem standing, they have plenty of other options - wait for the next bus, travel off peak, Uber, taxi or car rental. All of these options will meet their needs without the unrealistic expectation that their comfort or need is greater than everyone else's and that as a result they deserve to take your seat.

 

[Westcoastwild]

For example..if I am walking towards a door or elevator..and am with a man or a man approaches with me ...in my mind he is going to hold the door and let me enter first...that's my expectation...but in reality...doesn't happen..

As for the selfishness..crowding ahead of people..taking up more space than you need while others stand..letting a door shut behind you in someone's face instead of holding it for a second...those types of things are just selfish...i guess I'm just very thoughtful and old-fashioned...I realize this is not typical...just who I am

I think you may be living in an 1950s fantasy that never existed in real life. I've got a time machine I could sell you...

Seriously, holding elevator doors or doors open for people who have their hands full is just common nicety. I don't expect random men to automatically defer to me. My husband, possibly, but that's about it. And I even understand someone not wanting to, because I've held the door open for folks that needed it and then 10 more people stampeded in.

As for the buses, I agree with the above poster who said if you're going to get upset about lack of manners, there are more important issues that people sitting on the bus. You have no way to prove that those people need to sit less than you do and it's not worth the energy to get angry over it.