Parenting Question

1Mouse2RulethemAll

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jul 15, 2010
So I am looking for your thoughts on an issue I had with a mom at my son's t-ball practice tonight.

My son loses focus easily and was goofing off with an orange cone while in the outfield. I sternly hollared at him to stop playing with the cone at one point. A few minutes later, I yelled at him again to pay attention. (My son is used to my stern voice and knows that mommy means business when he hears it and I typically only use it to get his attention.) After that, another player's mom snidely told me it was annoying her and she doesn't want her son to hear me yelling at my own kid. (One of her non-playing kids (18 months old) was wondering the playing field while the practice was going on and she just walked behind him.)

At that point, I just shook my head and walked off without saying a word to her. Had I responded to her, it would have not been pleasant, nor fit for small ears.

What should I have done or do in the future with regards to this mom? And please don't say to not yell at my kids, my children all know I love them and that if I am break out the stern voice, it is time to act better.
 
You should let the coaches handle it. The time to chat with your child is after the game. You can chat about expectations for next time, but not during the game.

Loud voices should be for cheering.

As for parents who want to get in your business - I try to take the higher road and not engage with rude people. It could quickly escalate. Just walk away.

This is a kids game. Let them enjoy it and watching them lose focus is honestly part of it.

It’s ok if you don’t agree. Just my two cents.
 
So I am looking for your thoughts on an issue I had with a mom at my son's t-ball practice tonight.

My son loses focus easily and was goofing off with an orange cone while in the outfield. I sternly hollared at him to stop playing with the cone at one point. A few minutes later, I yelled at him again to pay attention. (My son is used to my stern voice and knows that mommy means business when he hears it and I typically only use it to get his attention.) After that, another player's mom snidely told me it was annoying her and she doesn't want her son to hear me yelling at my own kid. (One of her non-playing kids (18 months old) was wondering the playing field while the practice was going on and she just walked behind him.)

At that point, I just shook my head and walked off without saying a word to her. Had I responded to her, it would have not been pleasant, nor fit for small ears.

What should I have done or do in the future with regards to this mom? And please don't say to not yell at my kids, my children all know I love them and that if I am break out the stern voice, it is time to act better.
You should let the coaches manage the games & practice sessions. Yelling from the sidelines interferes with all of the kids' playing, and is rude to the other bystanders.

If your child doesn't focus superbly during practice, that's between him and his coach & team. You can talk to him about it afterwards, but yelling about it from the sidelines during practices or games is out of line.
 
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I actually let the coach handle it for the most part and stay out of the way, but my son requires more direct intervention on occasion. I talk with my son after the practices, but there are a few times where he needs to be corrected on the spot or he won't understand what he did wrong. I most certainly won't be correcting him during games.
 
I actually let the coach handle it for the most part and stay out of the way, but my son requires more direct intervention on occasion. I talk with my son after the practices, but there are a few times where he needs to be corrected on the spot or he won't understand what he did wrong. I most certainly won't be correcting him during games.
By all means, talk to the coach about your concerns with your son - but let coach handle it during the game.
 


I kinda think most kids in tball lose focus. We called my daughter the flower picker when she played :)
Yes! My DD was eating Cheese Itz out of her pocket in the outfield - even when the inning was over and the other team went out there! Lol. Coach tried to call her in, but finally just waved it off and moved on with the game. I miss those days! :laughing:
 
By all means, talk to the coach about your concerns with your son - but let coach handle it during the game.
I have talked to the coach and he will be handling it during the game. I am only intervening right now during practice, and I only do that as a last resort when his behavior can get him hurt. The coach is planning on putting him in the outfield for games to help keep him from getting hit with the ball.
 
My 4 year old was in tball last year (she was actually 3 during the season.) At some point during a practice or game, every kid was goofing off—either digging in the dirt, facing the wrong way in the outfield etc. No big deal. There is zero “competition” at this level—it’s just learning a sport and having fun. My husband was often out on the field as an “extra coach” just to help my daughter try and figure out what she was doing out there—no one minded! Perhaps see with the coach if you could kid take a more active role during practice instead of just yelling.

Otherwise, if one quick shout didn't work to correct behavior, I’d probably lay off unless it was a legitimate safety issue. Regarding the other mom, I’d just avoid her. Sounds like you were annoying her and she and her toddler were annoying you.
 
What should I have done or do in the future with regards to this mom?
Sneeze on her. (A fake sneeze, I'm not a monster) then look as surprised as she does, then look like you might have to sneeze again.

She'll leave you alone.

Or try a line out of my deep South playbook and say, "well bless your heart."

My favorite response when someone makes an absurd request is to react as if they had just made a joke. As if they didn't really expect me to take what they said seriously.
 
I grew up playing sports. My nieces & nephews were the same. (My DS is the intellectual one of the family & stopped playing sports by third grade, so I supported my nieces & nephews as often as possible.) Yelling at your kid to let them know what they need to do & where they need to be is a part of sports. Those that want to leave everything to the coach have probably been coaches in youth league or haven't played sports beyond youth league themselves. IME, that's not what parents who were competitive athletes themselves do. Naturally, this depends on how old your DS is. If he's very young, its best to have patience with him. If this isn't his first year playing the sport, yelling at him to pay attention is normal. The mom you dealt with has probably never played a competitive sport. I would tell her that I expected my child to pay attention & leave it at that. It really depends on how old your child is & how important your family views sports.
 
Honestly, and only because you asked for opinions am I telling you this, but that would annoy me too. I would take her comment to heart and stop annoying everyone on the sideline with my stern voice.

I would then address my expectations of how to behave at practice with my child, but that's not what you are asking for here, so I won't comment further on that....
 
I think the wisest thing is to not engage the other mom. Just let it go like you did. The last thing you want to do is get in an argument with another parent at t-ball. Do try to be aware of how your instructions from the sideline might affect others. If everyone else is just watching quietly or cheering, it might be a little much to have you hollering instructions a lot.

If your son requires a lot of extra directions from you, you might consider if he's ready (age wise, maturity, and attention span) to play a team sport. Is he enjoying himself? Nothing wrong with waiting a while if he's not ready. You may not want to answer. That's fine. Just something to think about.
 
I grew up playing sports. My nieces & nephews were the same. (My DS is the intellectual one of the family & stopped playing sports by third grade, so I supported my nieces & nephews as often as possible.) Yelling at your kid to let them know what they need to do & where they need to be is a part of sports. Those that want to leave everything to the coach have probably been coaches in youth league or haven't played sports beyond youth league themselves. IME, that's not what parents who were competitive athletes themselves do. Naturally, this depends on how old your DS is. If he's very young, its best to have patience with him. If he's young & this isn't his first year, yelling at him to pay attention is normal. The mom you dealt with has probably never played in a competitive sport. I would tell her that I expected more from my child & leave it at that. It really depends on how old your child is & how important your family views sports.

Annoying everyone on the sidelines using a "stern voice" that your kid clearly isn't listening to if you have to do it more than once, is NOT part of being a competitive sports parent!
 
I have talked to the coach and he will be handling it during the game. I am only intervening right now during practice, and I only do that as a last resort when his behavior can get him hurt. The coach is planning on putting him in the outfield for games to help keep him from getting hit with the ball.

That doesn't bother you??!!!

If that is what has to be done to keep him safe, I would strongly encourage you to pull him and wait until he is more willing to pay attention and do what he is supposed to be doing during practice and games.

JMO
 

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