A couple of things:
DC is an extended family member who we don’t see all the time due to living far away from DC’s immediate family.
This stuff has been going on for a long time.
When DC was younger, she’d rock left to right on her feet when she got excited, upset or overstimulated.
DC’s first reaction to conversation is to not look at you when you talk to her.
Parents got her hearing checked when she was in preschool because she would tune them out so well that they would be sitting down at her level, yelling at her to look at them and listen to them and she would not respond.
DC’s mom has commented that DC never wants to play with toys like other kid traditionally do. DC lines them up and organizes them on shelves in her room. Does not actually play with them though.
I’m not going to explain what a Yo Mama joke is. You guys can look it up online. In our neck of the woods and in DC’s neck of the woods, telling such jokes at school could get you in serious trouble with a teacher or get your butt kicked on the playground.
DC is a bright kid. Often teacher’s pet at school. Brings home good grades. Struggles a little in reading, but every kid has his or her strong suits.
DC’s passion is with animals and dinosaurs. Can look at a picture of a dinosaur and tell you it’s name, Latin name, what period it’s from, and what it eats. Relates most things back to animals and dinosaurs.
My family cares about DC very much. Her dad said flat out “my kid is weird.” Both parents seem defensive and make excuses for DC’s problematic behaviors, including blaming it on other children at school. Because the parents are defensive and insistent that their child is normal and just fine, we say nothing. We also keep our mouths shut since we don’t see them very often so I don’t think it’s fair to make conclusions on them when we see them once a year.
When DC was 3-4, a teacher and the kid’s dr recommended speech therapy and occupational therapy. The parents took her to a couple of appointments and then stopped, saying, “There’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just a little different than other kids.”
The parents have said that DC seems to do best when one-on-one with other children. Has regular sleep overs at her house with her male friends from school but then when they are all at school, same kids tease and bully her. DC’s father blames it on “pack animal mentality” once those same kids get to school. But given the extremely over the top freak out melt down reactions we have seen from DC, I wonder if that’s really all to it.
A year ago, went to a table service restaurant. DC got mad over where her sibling was sitting and had a screaming yelling melt down on the floor of the restaurant. The dad took her outside and spent almost the whole meal out there with her because she kept melting down. The parents rarely go out to eat as a family because of such melt downs (they have commented on it) and when they do, it’s to places with outdoor seating or places that have a lot of background noise.
DC is a very loving child. But can go from fine to melt down angry in 2 sec flat and you never can really predict what it will be over. DC has a sibling 3 yr younger and the sibling has more emotional self control than DC does. On the other hand, again, we don’t seem them that often so perhaps we are looking at things from a skewed point of view.
There’s no way DH or I would ever say something to the parents about our concerns because the parents are quite defensive and we don’t want to upset them. I’m just trying to better understand how this kid ticks so that I can figure out some more effective methods of interacting with the child when she melts down.
UGH how awful.
