Taking Grandma to Disneyland: PTR 3/9-3/12/2019

[VandVsmama]

I've been looking at the same forecasts and I am so frustrated! Even comparing weather.com and accuweather I get different things. Also been looking at something called darksky that was recommended here, and yesterday everything seemed to be in agreement things were getting warmer and drier, and then today it drops down again and chance of rain increases. The weather is clearly drunk.

Yes! Totally. Right now, the National Weather Service's website shows the forecast to be like this:

Sat 3/9 - low 46, high 62. No rain
Sun 3/10 - low 46, high 63. 40% chance of rain
Mon 3/11 - low 46, high 63. Chance of thunderstorms after 10 am.

Thunderstorms? What the heck? That means big rain, not light drizzly rain. This means I definitely need to go get rain boots for YDD & I. I'm pretty certain that with that sort of rain, MIL will opt to mostly stay in her hotel room that day.

BUT...
Accuweather says the forecast is:
Sat 3/9 - low 45, high 61. 12% chance of rain
Sun 3/10 - low 44, high 61. 56% chance of rain
Mon 3/11 - low 46, high 64. 56% chance of rain

It's driving me a little nuts right now.

 

[VandVsmama]

Well, Grandma might not be going with us to DL after all. She's lost her ID. Has no idea where it is. Needs a valid picture ID in order to check into her hotel room and in order to pay for it with her credit card. DH is so frustrated with her right now. Her eyesight is bad, so she hasn't driven for a year, but still has the driver's license. her excuse is that she never needs her license, so why would she have it in her wallet?

Getting a temporary ID at the DMV won't fix the problem because that won't have a picture on it, so it's unacceptable for the hotel.Um how about for all of your doctor appointments where you have to show them your picture ID when you check in? Apparently not at the doctor offices she goes to. She doesn't have a valid passport (just an expired one), so that option won't work either.

Can she stay in our room? No way. Not enough room and even if there was, I would refuse. I'm old enough to not have to share a bedroom with my MIL. I care about her very much, but neither DH or I have any desire to be roommates with her. None of us would get any sleep with the amount of snoring that woman does.

We will still be going...with or without Grandma. Why? Well, at this point, we've made a promise to our kids. YDD especially has been really looking forward to this now for weeks. It might end up being just a girls' trip (me & the kids) w/DH staying home. DH might go at a future date w/just him & Grandma, but I don't think he's interested in going to DL with just his mom. He wants us there with him because he has more fun when we're there.

This might sound harsh, but there has been SO much catering to Grandma that our immediate family has done over the past year. It has been VERY challenging. She is NOT a "go with the flow" person and she is NOT a well-traveled person. The first time she ever went on an airplane was when she was in her 50s. So common sense sort of goes out the window with her sometimes.

All that being said, I was really looking forward to seeing the joy on Grandma's face when we were in the parks together with her. We were looking forward to seeing her so excited to finally eat at the Blue Bayou like she'd always wanted to do for so long. Stay tuned! we'll see what happens.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Hang in there! You are not being harsh -- you are being practical and realistic, especially when dealing with a difficult person who chooses to make herself challenging to love. You can still love her while taking your kids to DLR -- and good for you for sticking to that promise to your kids. It's so important to them to see you being true to your word on this, even when the circumstances get weird. Here's hoping that the i.d. shows up somewhere soon! Sending pixie dust to you!

 

[VandVsmama]

Hang in there! You are not being harsh -- you are being practical and realistic, especially when dealing with a difficult person who chooses to make herself challenging to love. You can still love her while taking your kids to DLR -- and good for you for sticking to that promise to your kids. It's so important to them to see you being true to your word on this, even when the circumstances get weird. Here's hoping that the i.d. shows up somewhere soon! Sending pixie dust to you!

Thanks for your kind words! This evening has been a bit of a roller coaster. She naively thinks that my DH will be able to fix all of this for her, but DH knows that the DMV doesn't issue permanent licenses directly at their facility...you get that in the mail a couple of weeks later after you apply for the temporary replacement ID. As my poor DH said, "This is not something that I'm going to be able to fix for her. She's screwed this up pretty badly this time." But it's not quite as bad as the time that my parents flew from California to Ft Lauderdale to get on a cruise only to realize that he left his passport back home in CA. And that cruise ended in a foreign country, so you couldn't get on the ship without your passport. That mistake cost him about $3k-4k for him to fly home, get the passport, fly to Miami, then fly to Aruba, and stay 2 nights in an expensive hotel ($800/night) so he could meet the ship when it docked in Aruba.

In this case, Grandma didn't tell us about this until the 48 hour no penalty cancellation window for the hotel had closed. So we are definitely going anyway. After this, however, I don't think that I'll be up for us attempting to bring her with us to Disneyland. I'll leave that to DH and his sister to handle on their own.

 

[FeistyDisneyMom]

What a crazy stressful situation! I hope things manage to work out - the temporary ID I got when I moved to Texas had a black and white version of the picture that went on the permanent ID.

I wonder if it’s just lost in her purse somewhere? Or if she’d switched wallets around?

I completely commiserate with your situation- my mom sounds similar to your MIL.

I hope your trip is full of pixie dust whether mil makes it or not! You deserve it!

 

[VandVsmama]

The ironic thing is that her wallet is huge and weighs a ton because she has like every card imaginable in there. Why you would take your ID out and not put it back is beyond me. She has every other card in her wallet. But not the one that she actually needs.

This sort of highlights some reasons why she hasn’t joined us on any DL trip in the past. It’s come up in discussion every year over the past 6 years that we’ve been going. One time she almost joined us when we were going to stay at the DLH but she backed out at the last minute because she felt it was too expensive to pay for her own ticket. She wanted us to pay for her.

On a trip like this, it would never occur to her to treat her son and his family to a meal to say thanks for driving her out all this way, thanks to navigating all of this for me, thanks for helping me achieve my dream of eating at the Blue Bayou. She’d expect us to pay for her.

I know that a lot of folks here travel in large groups with grandparents. Honestly, if it works out for them I think that’s really wonderful and special because they get to experience the intense joy of a grandchild at such a wonderful and special place. But for those grandparents who are more rigid and inflexible, hoo boy.

Pray for us! LOL!!!

 

[FeistyDisneyMom]

I know that a lot of folks here travel in large groups with grandparents. Honestly, if it works out for them I think that’s really wonderful and special because they get to experience the intense joy of a grandchild at such a wonderful and special place. But for those grandparents who are more rigid and inflexible, hoo boy.

Pray for us! LOL!!!

My in-laws are the flexible type, but they are also younger than my mom by 10+ years. Not that age makes a difference - my mom has never been a great traveler. She really does think she’s a go with the flow kind of gal, but.....

I hope this isn’t stressing your DH out too much either.

In other stressful news - weather forecasts are still drunk: rain, sun, 60s 70s.... I thought for sure it would have settled down and been consistent across the services, but I guess we are in for surprises this weekend! Safe travels!

 

[VandVsmama]

My in-laws are the flexible type, but they are also younger than my mom by 10+ years. Not that age makes a difference - my mom has never been a great traveler. She really does think she’s a go with the flow kind of gal, but.....

I hope this isn’t stressing your DH out too much either.

In other stressful news - weather forecasts are still drunk: rain, sun, 60s 70s.... I thought for sure it would have settled down and been consistent across the services, but I guess we are in for surprises this weekend! Safe travels!

Thanks about the reminder about the weather! I just looked at the National Weather Service's website and it DOES look like it's changed yet again compared to about this time yesterday. LOL! Just wait a day and it'll change again! Here's what it says right now for DL's zip code:

• Sat 3/9 - high 61, low 46, no rain. Light wind.
• Sun 3/10 - 40% chance of rain. High 61, low 46. <0.10 inch of rain during the day Sun, chance of showers & thunderstorms Sun night.
• Mon 3/11 - High 64, low 46. 50% chance of rain.
• Tues - I don't care what the weather is this day since this will be 'travel back home' day and we won't be in the parks on Tuesday.

However, Accuweather says that Sunday will be a high of 59 (chilly!). Oh well...we have 4 ponchos, 2 kids' umbrellas, and 1 really big umbrella for DH & I so we'll be fine.

 

[Jaina]

Oh my goodness, how stressful! So does that mean you'll still have to pay for her room even though they wouldn't allow her to check in? And why would she need her id if she had her credit card with her? I don't remember having to show my ID at most hotels. (Maybe I'm just not thinking straight) It doesn't seem like they could charge for a hotel room that they won't let you check into because of a lost ID... Does she have any picture ID? Costco card? Haha, the zoo said they could take that once instead of my forgotten zoo membership card and ID because it had my picture on it. Have you called and asked them about it, or did I miss that?

 

[VandVsmama]

Oh my goodness, how stressful! So does that mean you'll still have to pay for her room even though they wouldn't allow her to check in? And why would she need her id if she had her credit card with her? I don't remember having to show my ID at most hotels. (Maybe I'm just not thinking straight) It doesn't seem like they could charge for a hotel room that they won't let you check into because of a lost ID... Does she have any picture ID? Costco card? Haha, the zoo said they could take that once instead of my forgotten zoo membership card and ID because it had my picture on it. Have you called and asked them about it, or did I miss that?

I called the hotel this morning and spoke with the front desk manager. MIL called them yesterday evening but she sometimes gets details mixed up, so I wanted to get the facts straight from the horse's mouth. So here's what the front desk manager said:

• they've linked the 2 reservations together & noted that we'll be checking in together.
• MIL will be able to check in and pay with cash as long as DH or I let them swipe 1 of our credit cards for $1.
• MIL then pays for her hotel in cash, which she'll have with her.
• DH & I check in to our room as we normally would.

So she's coming with us. God help us all. I may just decide to have an adult beverage at DCA tomorrow with dinner. We haven't even arrived at DL yet and I feel like I've already ridden Mr Toad's Wild Ride a couple of times.

 

[Jaina]

I called the hotel this morning and spoke with the front desk manager. MIL called them yesterday evening but she sometimes gets details mixed up, so I wanted to get the facts straight from the horse's mouth. So here's what the front desk manager said:

• they've linked the 2 reservations together & noted that we'll be checking in together.
• MIL will be able to check in and pay with cash as long as DH or I let them swipe 1 of our credit cards for $1.
• MIL then pays for her hotel in cash, which she'll have with her.
• DH & I check in to our room as we normally would.

So she's coming with us. God help us all. I may just decide to have an adult beverage at DCA tomorrow with dinner. We haven't even arrived at DL yet and I feel like I've already ridden Mr Toad's Wild Ride a couple of times.

Oh man. I'm not sure whether to be happy for you that it's figured out, or offer condolences that she's coming after all! Is she still going to get that temporary ID thing in case she needs one for something, or wing it? I'm glad you got a straight answer from them though, and I hope that there is some magic to go with all this craziness!

 

[VandVsmama]

Oh man. I'm not sure whether to be happy for you that it's figured out, or offer condolences that she's coming after all! Is she still going to get that temporary ID thing in case she needs one for something, or wing it? I'm glad you got a straight answer from them though, and I hope that there is some magic to go with all this craziness!

Yeah, I have mixed emotions. I've been checking the waether forecast a lot. A couple of days ago, I even called MIL to remind her of what sort of clothing to bring. You'd think, "Gee, that seems a little excessive since MIL should know these sort of things, right?" Well, a few years ago, we were in southern CA w/MIL & visiting with some other relatives. High temps at that time were in the low 70s. Our other relatives gave MIL a heads up to bring some warmer clothes since they knew that MIL was used to hot temps here in AZ. Well, MIL froze her rear end off because she only brought t-shirts. Not even a sweatshirt. She bundled up in lots of blankets and borrowed a jacket from somebody on that trip. One of the other family members even remarked, "MIL, I **told** you to bring a jacket and some warmer clothes. It's not 100 degrees here."

And the forecasted high temps are going to be in the low to mid-60's with highs in the 40s? Oh boy! DH already called her today to warn her to bring some rain gear. It could be a drizzle and hardly rain at all or it could end up being a total downpour. I have no idea right now. Just prepare for everything, I suppose. All MIL really wants to do is eat lunch at Blue Bayou. so the rest of it will be gravy.

 

[Jaina]

Oh sheesh. Sounds like you'd better pack a few extra emergency ponchos... I will be so interested to hear how this trip goes!

 

[VandVsmama]

Oh sheesh. Sounds like you'd better pack a few extra emergency ponchos... I will be so interested to hear how this trip goes!

LOL. At this point, if MIL needs a poncho, she can buy her own at DL. I better pack an emergency or . HAHAHA!!

 

[FeistyDisneyMom]

I hope your DH appreciates all you have done and treats you to some adult beverages!

 

[theluckyrabbit]

... Pray for us! LOL!!!

Done and done! Have a safe trip, focus on the good stuff, and let the magic begin!

... Costco card? Haha, the zoo said they could take that once instead of my forgotten zoo membership card and ID because it had my picture on it...

This totally reminded me of the good old days when DLR used to accept our APs as photo i.d. because the APs had our photos on them. Given, the photos were grainy, black & white thumbnails with all of 2 pixels -- but they counted as photo i.d. at DLR!