Teenage boy

[tzolkin]

Are you saying these people without ready access to condoms also do not have access to a retail store, or drugstore, or convenience store?

Im not the poster you quoted, but I can see where access could be an issue.

Most who have been saying to just let a son buy them himself have said so because it would be embarrassing for his mom to bring it up. Many teens who do not drive (especially those in rural areas) may not have easy access to a store except when they are out with their parents.

If it’s inappropriate or embarrassing for a mom to buy condoms and casually give them to her son “just in case”, I would think it would be exponentially more awkward to expect the kid to buy them himself on a family shopping trip or to explicitly ask his parents to drive him to the store so he can purchase condoms.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But there's nothing wro g with, "Hey, mom, next time you go to Walgreens I need to come with you." Mom might well assume the reason, but it discussion isn't required.

 

[disneychrista]

Sex Education can very reasonably be expected to include where and how to get birth control. Are you saying these people without ready access to condoms also do not have access to a retail store, or drugstore, or convenience store?

Yes. Exactly. A 16yo may very well not have the ability to access it. They may not have a way to the store or the funds to purchase them.

 

[ronandannette]

Im not the poster you quoted, but I can see where access could be an issue.

Most who have been saying to just let a son buy them himself have said so because it would be embarrassing for his mom to bring it up. Many teens who do not drive (especially those in rural areas) may not have easy access to a store except when they are out with their parents.

If it’s inappropriate or embarrassing for a mom to buy condoms and casually give them to her son “just in case”, I would think it would be exponentially more awkward to expect the kid to buy them himself on a family shopping trip or to explicitly ask his parents to drive him to the store so he can purchase condoms.

Serious question - where then are these "kids" going to have these sexual experiences? Some posts seem to be striving to prove how immature and reliant on their parents some teens are, which is undoubtedly the case, but then again I doubt they are doing much sexual experimentation.

 

[disneychrista]

But there's nothing wro g with, "Hey, mom, next time you go to Walgreens I need to come with you." Mom might well assume the reason, but it discussion isn't required.

Yes you are right. But I still stand by my position of give them the tools even if they don't need them.

 

[disneychrista]

Serious question - where then are these "kids" going to have these sexual experiences? Some posts seem to be striving to prove how immature and reliant on their parents some teens are, which is undoubtedly the case, but then again I doubt they are doing much sexual experimentation.

Do you really want to know? Most of the time is going to be YOUR (or the partners parents) house while you are at work.

 

[brockash]

You would think so, but no, unfortunately it does not. There are vast swaths of the US where abstinence-only is the policy, maybe combined with one of those "having sex makes you a dirty sloot" exercises where an unwrapped piece of candy is passed around, as referenced upthread.

I just ran out of antacid today, even though I knew I'd been getting low all week. People can be dumb. Kids can be really dumb. A kid in the heat of the moment may reach previously uncharted levels of stupidity.

There's a big difference between having a Walgreens 2 blocks from campus and having a box thrown in a drawer in your room. In which scenario is the condom most likely to actually get used?

100% When I was 17/18 I can't imagine going out and buying condoms etc. Did this lead to unprotected sex? Yes, it did for a while until my mom decided to face facts and buy them to put in the house. Yes, I understand that it was pretty immature and ignorant of me and I realize I was very lucky, but I don't think I was not the norm. Most of my friends were basically doing the same thing and we were the "good kids." Ideals don't always exist lol. To me, as a parent now, better to be safe than sorry.

 

[brockash]

Serious question - where then are these "kids" going to have these sexual experiences? Some posts seem to be striving to prove how immature and reliant on their parents some teens are, which is undoubtedly the case, but then again I doubt they are doing much sexual experimentation.

Where there's a will there's a way. Seriously, cars, ppls houses...I had a teenager tell me she and her boyfriend had sex outside at a park at night one time because their parents were home (I'm a school counselor and this was about 3 years ago.) It happens everywhere/anywhere.

 

[pearlieq]

Serious question - where then are these "kids" going to have these sexual experiences? Some posts seem to be striving to prove how immature and reliant on their parents some teens are, which is undoubtedly the case, but then again I doubt they are doing much sexual experimentation.

Once, as youth group leader, we had to flush a couple out of the choir loft during a wholesome teen activity night. Hormones find a way!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

100% When I was 17/18 I can't imagine going out and buying condoms etc. Did this lead to unprotected sex? Yes, it did for a while until my mom decided to face facts and buy them to put in the house. Yes, I understand that it was pretty immature and ignorant of me and I realize I was very lucky, but I don't think I was not the norm. Most of my friends were basically doing the same thing and we were the "good kids." Ideals don't always exist lol. To me, as a parent now, better to be safe than sorry.

When I was younger somehow we always found alcohol despite being underage.

Personality-wise when I was younger if the two choices were unprotected sex because for whatever reason I couldn't find a way to get access to them or not have unprotected sex..well I chose the latter. I think realistically your situation pans out more but I don't think the reasoning for that decision being made should be rationalized by "I couldn't get my hands on condoms". The reasoning is because you did it because you wanted to and you weren't likely thinking of the potential consequences while doing it. This holds true for adults perfectly capable of having access to condoms. My friend for years (and as far as I know still uses this method into her early 30s) just did the pull out method and it shocked the heck out of me given that her and I had the same education. But it was/is her conscious decision to do so.

I do totally get your last statement.

 

[pearlieq]

My friend for years (and as far as I know still uses this method into her early 30s) just did the pull out method and it shocked the heck out of me given that her and I had the same education. But it was/is her conscious decision to do so.

That "method" is having a very bizarre renaissance, even among grown adults! My OB/GYN's wall is plastered with posters to the effect of "Withdrawal is not birth control!"

Having gotten a reasonably comprehensive course in sex ed in suburban Chicago in the mid-90s, I find it so strange. They drilled it into us over and over that it was not safe, effective, or reliable. And now people who are way past being able to claim they're naive teenagers actually use it as their regular method of contraception, not just an emergency measure.

 

[ronandannette]

Where there's a will there's a way. Seriously, cars, ppls houses...I had a teenager tell me she and her boyfriend had sex outside at a park at night one time because their parents were home (I'm a school counselor and this was about 3 years ago.) It happens everywhere/anywhere.

If they have a car to make out in, couldn't they also drive it to 7-11 for condoms and a Slurpee? And yes, I certainly understand the point, I just chafe at the juxtaposition of these young people being too infantile to handle one thing, yet able to handle the other. And the idea that young people don't have an awareness of birth control if their schools don't do a good job. Is this the only thing they don't learn on the internet?

 

[pearlieq]

If they have a car to make out in, couldn't they also drive it to 7-11 for condoms and a Slurpee? And yes, I certainly understand the point, I just chafe at the juxtaposition of these young people being too infantile to handle one thing, yet able to handle the other. And the idea that young people don't have an awareness of birth control if their schools don't do a good job. Is this the only thing they don't learn on the internet?

It's the age-old conflict of idealism vs. pragmatism.

SHOULD it work the way you want it to? Yes
DOES it? No

Having condoms around for teenagers to use is just such an easy and cheap thing to do, I can't see any practical reason why not. I'd rather they learn responsibility and forethought on a much lower-stakes issue.

 

[robinb]

If they have a car to make out in, couldn't they also drive it to 7-11 for condoms and a Slurpee? And yes, I certainly understand the point, I just chafe at the juxtaposition of these young people being too infantile to handle one thing, yet able to handle the other. And the idea that young people don't have an awareness of birth control if their schools don't do a good job. Is this the only thing they don't learn on the internet?

Young adults do have different abilities to handle different things smoothly. Some things are too important to allow them to flounder and find their way. A failure at birth control has life-long consequences, no matter what choices are made with the pregnancy. While it's a nice thought that kids should show their responsibility by buying their own condoms, insisting that they buy their own birth control is ridiculous. So many kids would "roll the dice" and have unprotected sex rather than set themselves up for embarrassment of buying condoms.

 

[Chernabog#1fan]

If he's old enough to go off to college, he's old enough to figure out how to buy condoms. This isn't 1950, where you have to ask the druggist for them--just walk into any drug store, Walmart, grocery store, gas station...

Our Walmart next to the high school and college has them under lock and key. You have to ask someone for them.

 

[Heather07438]

Never underestimate the creativity or tenacity of teenagers to find a place. I'm not saying all kids do this but it is very common. On roofs of buildings, inside the school, in bushes, at the park, and on and on. No wining and dining, they're finding 5 minutes that escapes attention. Nature is a powerful drug.

My friend's daughter temped as a high school nurse recently at a MA high school. She only graduated HS 6 yrs ago herself in NJ. She was surprised that kids were able to come to her office and request condoms because her HS was nothing like that. Of course some guys took advantage of the cute young nurse by showing up every chance in between classes to go get another, lol.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Our Walmart next to the high school and college has them under lock and key. You have to ask someone for them.

I have never, ever seen this, in all the Walmarts I've ever been in. I wonder if they had problems with theft?

In any event, it's funny how so many people are saying how creative teens can get with finding ways/places to have sex--which I totally get--but then turn around and say that those same teens can't manage to find the means to acquire condoms. Yeah, yeah, I can understand "caught in the moment". But, even if that happens once--wouldn't you then make an effort to be more prepared the next time? Do so many teens only have access to Walmart with their parents--and then, only walk around Walmart WITH THEIR PARENTS? Because my teens go out in cars with friends. They get dropped off at the mall (well, WERE, back when you could). Even at Walmart, they don't hang with me in the home goods aisle--they go off on their own and look at clothes or electronics or whatever.

Now, all that said, if a parent wants to be extra-sure and buy their kid condoms, I'm good with that. Every parent has to use their best judgement for the child in front of them. But then--why bring it up here? Purchasing condoms (or choosing not to) doesn't require a public debate and a consensus.

 

[disneychrista]

I have never, ever seen this, in all the Walmarts I've ever been in. I wonder if they had problems with theft?

One of my daughters worked at CVS and she said they are one of the top things that are shoplifted.

 

[Heather07438]

repeat

 

[Heather07438]

It's a mistake to expect teenage minds to think with the same wisdom of our more experienced minds.

If they have driving licenses should parents not give them words of caution or help with proper maintenance, etc? Instead tell them they're on their own because if they're responsible enough to have a car and license then they need to step up and handle all the detail themselves. Sounds regrettable.