The Trip That Finally Made My Wife Haul Off And Slug Me In The Face (COMPLETED 10/2)

[Poolrat]

Finally around to catching up around these parts. AND...... Everything goes back to normal schedule tomorrow...
Happy Holidays all!

 

[mustinjourney]

Here to follow along!

 

[Terra Nova guy]

Hello Mark, just stopping in to say I'me here, just haven't read yet. I went on a bit of a digital diet over the holidays, trying to avoid work/computer/phone/email and focused on family time. Really enjoyed my break, but back to work today (I found out they won't pay me for staying home, shame really). I'll get caught up on your report in the near future. Off to start an actual diet now. The holidays are never kind to the waistline...

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Joining to shamelessly rip off your experiences for our trip from Asheville to Jekyll island in March. So get finishing mate, I’ve got restaurants to book up.

Dan! Thanks for joining in. And I've given you a head start on Asheville! Not sure I can help with Jekyll Island, though.

I would expect nothing less.

That's what I'm here for.

Hi, Mark!

Let's call this support group meeting to order.

Whilst dining on PB&J sammies.

It's what we do. Until we get sick of it, anyway.

This did not need to be said. Some things are beyond obvious, you know.

Then again... I suppose that is why you said it.

It's not like anyone comes here for deep profound insight.

I will be using a lot of those links in the not so distant future, I'm sure.

Hope it helps!

I would never do that.

If nobody did, these TR's would be much more boring.

That was amazing! Thanks for the link!
Who knew that rulings and procedures reported in the IRB do not have the force and effect of Treasury tax regulations!

Riveting!

You just can't get this stuff anywhere else!

Oh, thank God!


I mean... I'm sorry to hear that.

It's been a long time coming, no doubt.

at #2?

No, that's D.C.

Not being 100% sure just how far away that was, I took a quick look on Google maps.

Dude. You went wayyyyy off course, there.

Just a bit. The Oklahoma part was obligation. The Florida part was fun (mostly).

This is unfair and unjust.

I agree. But Alaska is really expensive, so I don't mind putting it off.

There's just no rhyme or reason for it!

Literally checking off a box. If we'd crossed the OK border when we were in Texas in the spring, we wouldn't have needed to go that far.

I've done that.
"Here's your van back. Let's see. It had 49 miles on it... now it has 4,500. Thanks!"

So much fun!

Unfortunately, on this trip it was my own van taking the abuse.

I love Gatorland!

Who doesn't?

But... but... they have chickens!

I prefer them fried.

Oh? Is that a problem?

I know I don't need to answer that.

And yet both have bullsh.... er.... issues.

David has exceptionally long arms.

That's Sarah, actually. But I was wondering if anyone would notice that.

This is the second time in a month that Skyline Drive has been mentioned to me.

In a positive context?

Oh!!! I always wondered about that.

Aren't you glad you spent all that time reading the chapter now?

This would not sit well with me.

I'm not a big fan of getting water all the time, either. But when I do the math for 6 people and see that not ordering sodas saves us $18 at every meal, I become much more grateful for water.

Meh. Who cares. They rented the room. How many people are in it is none of their business. (provided you don't trash the place, or something.)

I believe 99% of hotels operate that way. I've never had one turn us away from breakfast or anything like that. But there are a few sticklers for the rules out there.

And that makes it all worth it.

I'll pass. But thanks anyways.

Can't say I never offered you anything.

I noticed that. Not driving it, but just looking at the map to see where you're going. I was surprised at how wide it was.

It really catches you off-guard. "You mean we're STILL in Virginia?"

Wow! That's.... incredible!!!! Holy cow!!!! Wowza!

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...

Actually, we were having a good time.

That's pretty darned impressive.

It is pretty amazing work. Kind of a cool hobby.

Next time we meet, I'll tell you a story about that.
Not here.

Sounds like a plan. I'll try not to forget.

Of course you did. I would've been disappointed if you hadn't

Since you told me you never had good BBQ, I'm putting that on the list for next time we meet up as well.

The place sells itself.

Something to distract my kids? I'm in!

Like a heart attack in waiting.


No... that's a good thing.

It's so worth it!

Isn't it? And my supervisor wants me to actually work while I'm work. Sheer lunacy.

There's an amendment in the Constitution against that.

Well that works. restaurant idea no.1.

See that? Immediate payoff for reading along.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Yay a new trip report! I'm so ready to read about all of your adventures!

Lisa! Keep your eyes peeled, since you'll make a cameo later on.

NO. WAY.

When my parents bailed out of California (for a myriad of reasons) that is exactly where they wound up from 1987-1992 or so. He saw more cases of Elephantitis and Black Lung than ever. They liked it there a lot and learned the foreign language that is Appalacia.

Wow--small world! I wonder if they ever met my uncle. He's been there a long time. If they ever had an appointment with an eye doctor, they may have seen him.

Been there; done all those.

Every parent of multiple children figures this stuff out eventually.

Better than Folgers. Almost.

Folgers sure is cheaper, though!

Well, I think it's pretty exciting when I can actually propel the thing I'm trying to. I"m not so sure any of my golf balls would ever get off the ground.

But that one time it does is magic!

Very diplomatic. But, which ever side of the fence you sit on, the fact that he built.. from scratch... his own guns is pretty dang impressive.

Agreed 100%. It's a cool hobby!

There is a reason:

https://rivetermagazine.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/why-are-women-better-shooters/

Interesting. She also was the only one to completely miss the target with a shot or two, though.

Why does this not surprise me?

Because BBQ is basically the greatest thing ever?

Like your waistline is going to pay for it.

So worth it!

I think the author stretched a bit for that one.
Her one source said: “Women have a lower center of gravity and I think (emphasis mine) that gives them a distinct advantage in shooting from the standing position. I think they have better balance.”

She may be right. She may be completely wrong, too.

She also noted that the findings were not statistically significant. So there's that.

I'm going to side with the author on this one and add that a lot of other sources also add that women are simply more patient than men.

Fact.

(Yes, I"m about to be flamed here.)

I know from experience that you can't survive in public service without an inordinate amount of patience!

Then again, Julie has survived almost 20 years of marriage to me. I don't know where I stand on this issue.

Hmmmm... I think that's more of an individual thing than a gender thing.
Ask me about myself and my wife, sometime.

I agree it's more of an individual thing. Gender has nothing to do with the patience shown (or lack thereof) on NJ highways.

Yes, a grand generalization I admit, so we can shelve this until April. It’ll be 3 ladies to one guy so we’ll see where the chips fall.

Seems like a fair fight.

Oh..... craaaaaap.

I am in for a world of hurt, aren't I?

Take notes and lots of photos, please.

Mostly, but at times there is the potential for four ladies!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Can't wait to read about your awesome experience in Oklahoma

aboard! That's going to be one epic paragraph, let me tell ya.

Finally around to catching up around these parts. AND...... Everything goes back to normal schedule tomorrow...
Happy Holidays all!

Pat! I know how you feel, believe me!

Here to follow along!

Thanks for joining in!

Hello Mark, just stopping in to say I'me here, just haven't read yet. I went on a bit of a digital diet over the holidays, trying to avoid work/computer/phone/email and focused on family time. Really enjoyed my break, but back to work today (I found out they won't pay me for staying home, shame really). I'll get caught up on your report in the near future. Off to start an actual diet now. The holidays are never kind to the waistline...

Jeff! Glad you made it. I know what you mean, been away from the boards myself over the last week. Also, if you do figure out how to get paid for staying home, please share the secret!

 

[pkondz]

Let's call this support group meeting to order.

It's what we do. Until we get sick of it, anyway.

And then you keep doing it anyways.
You just don't enjoy it.

It's not like anyone comes here for deep profound insight.

Reminds me.
Did you ever hear "Deep thoughts, by Jack Handey"?
Was on SNL back in the 90s.

Possibly my two favourites:
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

and

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' "He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. 'I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

If nobody did, these TR's would be much more boring.

zzzzz... wha?

Yes! To whatever it was you said.

You just can't get this stuff anywhere else!

Sure you can. There's a link that you provided.

Sheesh.

No, that's D.C.

ah

Just a bit. The Oklahoma part was obligation. The Florida part was fun (mostly).

Mostly??

I agree. But Alaska is really expensive, so I don't mind putting it off.

No it's not! You can just drive over to it!
It's just over there. (points)

Literally checking off a box. If we'd crossed the OK border when we were in Texas in the spring, we wouldn't have needed to go that far.

You fool!!

Uh... I mean... that's unfortunate.

So much fun!

Unfortunately, on this trip it was my own van taking the abuse.

I wonder... which is cheaper. Paying the rental fee or paying the repairs from the wear and tear.

I know I don't need to answer that.

Sure?

That's Sarah, actually. But I was wondering if anyone would notice that.

Whoops! Sorry Sarah! I just assumed it was one of the boys and it wasn't Scotty, so...

In a positive context?

Yes!

Aren't you glad you spent all that time reading the chapter now?

Yes! Absolutely! Wonderful! Riveting!!


(He's buying! I think he's actually buying it!)

I'm not a big fan of getting water all the time, either. But when I do the math for 6 people and see that not ordering sodas saves us $18 at every meal, I become much more grateful for water.

Makes sense.
Now... I don't remember if you and Scotty ordered water or not.
If you did..... now you're kicking yourself!

I believe 99% of hotels operate that way. I've never had one turn us away from breakfast or anything like that. But there are a few sticklers for the rules out there.

And those are the places that don't get your repeat business.
And a bad write up on your TR.

So three people will know!!

Can't say I never offered you anything.

You never offered me anything.


Huh. I can say it.
I'll be.

Actually, we were having a good time.

It is pretty amazing work. Kind of a cool hobby.

It is! I'd like to see those.

Sounds like a plan. I'll try not to forget.

Forget what?

Since you told me you never had good BBQ, I'm putting that on the list for next time we meet up as well.

Good.
Because if I'm eating BBQ and oohing and ahhing, I want you to say if it's good, really good, or the best.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

That's Sarah, actually. But I was wondering if anyone would notice that.

How were we supposed to know? There were no introductions, you know.

I believe 99% of hotels operate that way. I've never had one turn us away from breakfast or anything like that. But there are a few sticklers for the rules out there.

Best Western View of Lake Powell in Page, AZ. (Not to be confused with the Best Western Plus at Lake Powell, which is literally right across the street). We booked room with 2 Adults, 2 Kids. Even had to initial on the check in sheet that we had a party of 4. The next morning, the 5 of us walked down for breakfast, and saw a hostess at a podium outside the breakfast room checking people in. "Hey kids, let's head back to the room, grab our stuff, and have McDonald's for breakfast today!"

Wow--small world! I wonder if they ever met my uncle. He's been there a long time. If they ever had an appointment with an eye doctor, they may have seen him.

And if they ever made an appointment with an ear doctor, they might have heard him!

 

[londontime]

See that? Immediate payoff for reading along.

If I'd known there was a BBQ prize for reading, I would have learnt more in school.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Thank you for the support.

And then you keep doing it anyways.
You just don't enjoy it.

True. Every once in a while you have to break it up with some fast food or something.

Reminds me.
Did you ever hear "Deep thoughts, by Jack Handey"?
Was on SNL back in the 90s.

Possibly my two favourites:
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

and

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh no,' I said, 'Disneyland burned down.' "He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. 'I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

YES!! I loved those!

If God lives inside of us, like so many people say...I hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.

zzzzz... wha?

Yes! To whatever it was you said.

I don't remember; I wasn't paying attention either.

Sure you can. There's a link that you provided.

Sheesh.

Oh, right. Never mind.

Mostly??

I refer you to the title of this TR.

No it's not! You can just drive over to it!
It's just over there. (points)

(squints) You sure about that, bub?

You fool!!

Uh... I mean... that's unfortunate.

We really wanted to see Big Bend. That took us many miles in the opposite direction.

I wonder... which is cheaper. Paying the rental fee or paying the repairs from the wear and tear.

Good question. Our van was still under warranty at the time. Now...it's not.

Whoops! Sorry Sarah! I just assumed it was one of the boys and it wasn't Scotty, so...

That's ok, she's not reading this.

Yes! Absolutely! Wonderful! Riveting!!


(He's buying! I think he's actually buying it!)

Makes sense.
Now... I don't remember if you and Scotty ordered water or not.
If you did..... now you're kicking yourself!

We did order water! No sense in piling up the tab.

And those are the places that don't get your repeat business.
And a bad write up on your TR.

So three people will know!!

That'll teach 'em!

You never offered me anything.


Huh. I can say it.
I'll be.

Well, that just shut me right up. Wait, no it didn't. I'm still talking.

It is! I'd like to see those.

All you have to do is drive to Abingdon, VA!

Good.
Because if I'm eating BBQ and oohing and ahhing, I want you to say if it's good, really good, or the best.

I'm always willing to try it so I can give a properly formed opinion.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

How were we supposed to know? There were no introductions, you know.

It's the 10th TR. We're not spoon-feeding the readers anymore!

Best Western View of Lake Powell in Page, AZ. (Not to be confused with the Best Western Plus at Lake Powell, which is literally right across the street). We booked room with 2 Adults, 2 Kids. Even had to initial on the check in sheet that we had a party of 4. The next morning, the 5 of us walked down for breakfast, and saw a hostess at a podium outside the breakfast room checking people in. "Hey kids, let's head back to the room, grab our stuff, and have McDonald's for breakfast today!"

I knew it! There's always one. I'm sure the kids were excited about McDonald's, too.

And if they ever made an appointment with an ear doctor, they might have heard him!

I don't know whether to or .

If I'd known there was a BBQ prize for reading, I would have learnt more in school.

I suspect that would have made most literature courses so much better.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Chapter 2: The One Where We Visit the Smoky Mountains and Abandon a Hike


If someone had asked me what the most-visited National Park in the United States was, I would have guessed one of the oldest and most famous (and spectacular) parks, such as the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone. Maybe Yosemite, which gets notoriously crowded. But as it turns out, Great Smoky Mountains National Park gets the most visitors per year—in 2016, it welcomed over 11 million people.


I’m not 100% sure why it’s the most popular park, but I have a few guesses. For one, it’s relatively more accessible than the other parks—a little over an hour from Asheville, NC and right next to the resort areas of Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, TN. Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge have become tourist destinations themselves, and there’s been a huge amount of development in that region (traffic can be awful there, which was why we avoided it altogether). And the Smoky Mountains can be visited year-round, being in a more temperate climate than, say, Yellowstone. You can see wildflowers in the spring and spectacular fall color later in the year. Or you can see crowds of tourists if you’re dumb enough to go in the summer, like us.


Our plan was to activate the Disney Rope Drop strategy and get to the park as early as possible in order to avoid being stuck in traffic jams. This was also the reason why we were moving west from North Carolina into Tennessee as opposed to trying to deal with the Gatlinburg traffic.

Rope Drop worked like gangbusters, as it always does. There is one main road that travels through the center of the park across the mountains, and at 7:30 there was hardly anyone on it. Of course, the visitor center wasn’t open yet, either.


The drive climbs fairly swiftly and follows the Oconaluftee River a good bit of the way, which means you get a lot of nice views like this on the drive:

Once you get near the top of the mountains, the views open up. The Smokies get their name from the mist that often hangs near the top of the trees all over the mountains.

I don’t think I will ever get tired of standing at a mountaintop and enjoying the view for miles around.

We made it to Newfound Gap, which is the point where the road crests the mountain range. There’s a parking lot and overlook as well as some hiking trails, including a piece of the Appalachian Trail. Theoretically, you could keep going to Maine if you so desired.

Also, what led to the name “Sweat Heifer Creek”?


Never mind, I’m not sure I want to know.


We stopped to enjoy the views and use the restroom. The only problem was that a custodian was cleaning the women’s room at the time. He blocked off the door and disappeared inside. The boys and I went and used the men’s room and then came back outside.


Julie really had to go. So, apparently, did several other women as the line grew longer and longer. At one point, the custodian emerged and…then went back inside. Apparently he was cleaning each individual tile with a toothbrush. My kids moved faster going to the bus stop on January 2nd.


Finally, Julie couldn’t take it anymore. “Is there anyone else in the men’s room?” she asked. The other women in line seemed interested in the answer as well. I told her there was one guy using a stall. Julie told the other women she’d blaze a trail for them. So she marched up to the door, stuck her head in, and loudly announced, “Heads up! I’m coming in! The women’s room is closed!”


And that was that. She never heard a peep from the guy in there.


Which is totally the right move, by the way. I mean, if I’m a guy using the stall, and suddenly I hear a woman’s voice announcing she’s barging in, I’m not saying a thing. There’s literally nothing you can say that improves the situation. Proper bathroom etiquette demands that you just remain silent and wait until she finishes and moves on. For her part, it is appreciated if she withholds comment on the smell in the room.


Later, the kids demonstrated the proper touristy photo technique for crossing a state line. Notice how bright and sunny it is outside.

A side road leads to Clingmans Dome, the highest point in the park. There’s a half-mile trail that leads from the parking area to an observation tower. We have to pick and choose our hikes carefully with a 3-year-old in tow, and this one sounded like it would be do-able.


In other words, I’d only have to carry him for roughly half a mile.


Remember how bright and sunny it was at Newfound Gap? Well, just seven miles away we managed to find the one cloud in the whole park. This was the view at the start of the path:

It was obvious that there was nothing to be gained by hiking to the tower except working off last night’s BBQ, and where’s the fun in that? So we made the call to skip the view of fog and contented ourselves with photos of rocks instead.

Drew cam:

We drove back to the main road and down the other side of the mountains, into Tennessee. We stopped at the main visitor center (Sugarlands) to pick up our park passport stamp and whatever other paraphernalia we could find in the gift shop.


We had another decision to make after that. Since we hadn’t done the Clingmans Dome hike, we’d reached the visitor center much sooner than planned. I had originally planned on driving to the west out of the park and then heading to Chattanooga. But now we had extra time, so we decided to visit the Cades Cove area of the park instead. We’d heard that this area gets crowded, but also provides a good opportunity to see wildlife.


Along the road, there’s a pulloff for a series of waterfalls along the Little River called The Sinks. It’s another nice spot to get out of the car, take a breath, and enjoy not being plugged in.

Cades Cove is a meadow in a valley west of the mountains. Cherokee Indians hunted here for hundreds of years, and then the first European settlers began farming the area in the early 1800’s.


The road around the cove is 11 miles and one-way. It’s extremely narrow, so you’re forced to follow whoever is in front of you unless they use one of the pull-offs to allow you to pass. For this reason, the park says to allow 2 to 4 hours to tour Cades Cove.


But seriously—2 to 4 hours to go 11 miles? We could beat that.

Or not. Traffic crawled along at approximately 2 miles per hour through the whole stretch. No one used the pull-offs. Just to my left, I could see an ant walking along the edge of the pavement, carrying food back to his nest. I tried to watch him as long as I could, but he blew past us and disappeared down the road.


Eventually, we reached another visitor center and decided it would benefit all of us to get out of the van, walk around a bit, and eat our lunch.


One of the exhibits there was a working grist mill, where they diverted water from a stream to power the water wheel. And it must be an illusion, but the whole time I looked at this, I was convinced that the water channel was flowing uphill.

Julie managed to get this shot of a colorful dragonfly-type bug (firebreathus insectitus).

After lunch, we were back on the road…and back to crawling. Some guy in a red pickup truck was determined not to exceed the unofficial 2-mph speed limit, no matter how many cars were in line behind him. And he was determined not to pull over and let anyone pass him, either. So we just rode our brakes all the way down the road. As it turned out, it did indeed take us 2 hours to go 11 miles.


But in the end, I have to say I’m grateful we went that slow. Not because it was an enjoyable driving experience, but because we had plenty of time to stop and look when the cars ahead of us stopped and people starting pointing up the hill. And if we’d been speeding through, we wouldn’t have been able to see the mama black bear and her cub walking through the woods.

That was the first time our family had ever seen a bear in the wild. And we saw it exactly the right way—from the safety of our minivan.


Ok, technically we were trapped and couldn’t move, so we were essentially sitting ducks, but we could have at least rolled up the windows and locked the doors. I’ll take that over seeing a bear while hiking and trying to play dead (or worse, trying to make lots of noise to “intimidate” the bear). We all know none of those techniques actually work. Everyone giving those instructions is just trying to see if you’ll actually do it, so you can die with as little dignity as possible. Bottom line, if you’re up against a bear, you’re going to lose. I’d recommend standing still waiting for the death blow like Ben Kenobi, because at least that looks cool. Especially if you are holding a lightsaber. But then again, if you have a lightsaber, why aren’t you using it on the bear?


Coming Up Next: Chattanooga, without the choo-choo.

 

[chicagoshannon]

You got lucky! We've been to the Smoky's twice now and have yet to see wild bear. We have seen deer and snakes though. Although our trip through Cade's Cove was a lot faster than 2mph (we were there in September)

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

You got lucky! We've been to the Smoky's twice now and have yet to see wild bear. We have seen deer and snakes though. Although our trip through Cade's Cove was a lot faster than 2mph (we were there in September)

We were thrilled to finally see a bear in the wild! Not easy, that's for sure. It made the aggravation of the drive worth it.

Oh, and

 

[pkondz]

Thank you for the support.

Just don't ask me to lend a hand.

YES!! I loved those!

If God lives inside of us, like so many people say...I hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

I refer you to the title of this TR.

uh oh

(squints) You sure about that, bub?

Yep! Just look on a map.
It's only a few inches attaway.

We really wanted to see Big Bend. That took us many miles in the opposite direction.

Really? Looks lots closer on this map.

Good question. Our van was still under warranty at the time. Now...it's not.

That's ok, she's not reading this.

So she's smarter than both of us.

We did order water! No sense in piling up the tab.

So glad I didn't tell you I was picking up the tab ahead of time.
Gotcha!!

Well, that just shut me right up. Wait, no it didn't. I'm still talking.

Worth a shot.

All you have to do is drive to Abingdon, VA!

You're trying to get me shot, aren't you?

I'm always willing to try it so I can give a properly formed opinion.

Very kind of you.

 

[pkondz]

If someone had asked me what the most-visited National Park in the United States was, I would have guessed one of the oldest and most famous (and spectacular) parks, such as the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone. Maybe Yosemite, which gets notoriously crowded. But as it turns out, Great Smoky Mountains National Park gets the most visitors per year—in 2016, it welcomed over 11 million people.

Really! I'm... pretty surprised, actually.

a little over an hour from Asheville, NC

I was there last year.
When was this, Mark? Got a date?

Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, TN.

Was not there.

Or you can see crowds of tourists if you’re dumb enough to go in the summer, like us.

cute shot of the rugrats.

There is one main road that travels through the center of the park across the mountains, and at 7:30 there was hardly anyone on it. Of course, the visitor center wasn’t open yet, either.

Whoops!
And I do know your penchant for visiting those.

Beautiful shot.

The Smokies get their name from the mist that often hangs near the top of the trees all over the mountains.

Ah!

Theoretically, you could keep going to Maine if you so desired.

And were crazy enough.

Some have, no?

Also, what led to the name “Sweat Heifer Creek”?

Is that sweat, or sweet?

Never mind, I’m not sure I want to know.

We stopped to enjoy the views and use the restroom. The only problem was that a custodian was cleaning the women’s room at the time. He blocked off the door and disappeared inside. The boys and I went and used the men’s room and then came back outside.

I'm okay with that.

Apparently he was cleaning each individual tile with a toothbrush.

Now that's dedication!

My kids moved faster going to the bus stop on January 2nd.

So he was basically reversing.

And that was that. She never heard a peep from the guy in there.

Not surprised!

Which is totally the right move, by the way. I mean, if I’m a guy using the stall, and suddenly I hear a woman’s voice announcing she’s barging in, I’m not saying a thing. There’s literally nothing you can say that improves the situation. Proper bathroom etiquette demands that you just remain silent and wait until she finishes and moves on.

Just keep your head down and pray she leaves soon.

For her part, it is appreciated if she withholds comment on the smell in the room.

In other words, I’d only have to carry him for roughly half a mile.

Just wait when he gets bigger! Like... when he's 20.

Remember how bright and sunny it was at Newfound Gap?

I do! You specifically told me to.

This was the view at the start of the path:

Um... well... it certainly looks.... artistic.

It was obvious that there was nothing to be gained by hiking to the tower except working off last night’s BBQ, and where’s the fun in that?

Exercise? Surely you jest.

So we made the call to skip the view of fog and contented ourselves with photos of rocks instead.

Cool looking rocks, though.

So there's that.

Drew cam:

Ha! I like the perspective. You can see the world through his eyes.

Hmmmmm.... she doesn't look like someone who'd slug someone.

But seriously—2 to 4 hours to go 11 miles? We could beat that.

Just to my left, I could see an ant walking along the edge of the pavement, carrying food back to his nest. I tried to watch him as long as I could, but he blew past us and disappeared down the road.

Whoa... they have super speed ants there.

I don't know if I wanna go now.

And it must be an illusion, but the whole time I looked at this, I was convinced that the water channel was flowing uphill.

You know.... it does look like it's going uphill!

Julie managed to get this shot of a colorful dragonfly-type bug (firebreathus insectitus).

Cool bug, though.

Some guy in a red pickup truck was determined not to exceed the unofficial 2-mph speed limit, no matter how many cars were in line behind him. And he was determined not to pull over and let anyone pass him, either.

I always say you can only go as fast as the slow-poke at the front of the line.

the mama black bear and her cub walking through the woods.

Cool!

That was the first time our family had ever seen a bear in the wild. And we saw it exactly the right way—from the safety of our minivan.

I've seen several.
Both the brown (or black... don't ask me to differentiate) variety out of town and the Polar bear variety both in and out of town (up north).

we could have at least rolled up the windows and locked the doors. I’ll take that over seeing a bear while hiking and trying to play dead (or worse, trying to make lots of noise to “intimidate” the bear). We all know none of those techniques actually work. Everyone giving those instructions is just trying to see if you’ll actually do it, so you can die with as little dignity as possible. Bottom line, if you’re up against a bear, you’re going to lose.

Always carry a gun and bring a dog (shoot the dog. Run.) or bring a slower friend with you.
Doesn't have to be a "friend".

I’d recommend standing still waiting for the death blow like Ben Kenobi, because at least that looks cool. Especially if you are holding a lightsaber. But then again, if you have a lightsaber, why aren’t you using it on the bear?

Next Star Wars movie!

 

[justafigment27]

Another great update!

But as it turns out, Great Smoky Mountains National Park gets the most visitors per year—in 2016, it welcomed over 11 million people.

This was the very first national park we visited with our kids. We chose the area based on the fact that we could get there in a (long) days drive from central Michigan.

Rope Drop worked like gangbusters, as it always does. There is one main road that travels through the center of the park across the mountains, and at 7:30 there was hardly anyone on it. Of course, the visitor center wasn’t open yet, either.

Rope drop is an awesome strategy everywhere, isn't it? We rope drop on every vacation ... you can sleep in at home!

I love all the parks represented on their sweatshirts!

A side road leads to Clingmans Dome, the highest point in the park. There’s a half-mile trail that leads from the parking area to an observation tower. We have to pick and choose our hikes carefully with a 3-year-old in tow, and this one sounded like it would be do-able.

It's probably just as well that you skipped this! It's been about 20 years, but DH & I did this little stroll on a pre-kid trip and I remember it being deceptively strenuous. It's paved, but it really goes uphill quite a bit.

That was the first time our family had ever seen a bear in the wild. And we saw it exactly the right way—from the safety of our minivan.

Awesome! That's the best way to see a bear IMO!

 

[Terra Nova guy]

If someone had asked me what the most-visited National Park in the United States was, I would have guessed one of the oldest and most famous (and spectacular) parks, such as the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone. Maybe Yosemite, which gets notoriously crowded. But as it turns out, Great Smoky Mountains National Park gets the most visitors per year—in 2016, it welcomed over 11 million people.

Really? Interesting. I never would have guessed that. But interesting.
There's a place called Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia that's one of the most visited places in Canada. It's a small fishing village but gets swarmed by bus loads of tourists in the summer. I have no idea why. I've been there a few times. It's a nice place, but not sure why thousands of people flock to it, to see a lighthouse on a rock.

Also, what led to the name “Sweat Heifer Creek”?

Never mind, I’m not sure I want to know.

Probably named by the same guy who named this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pissing_Mare_Falls

Not sure what I can get away with here, so I'll just let you browse that link....no further commentary necessary....

Drew cam:

Next TR idea...Drew Cam Edition! I'd bet you could sell tickets for that one.

That was the first time our family had ever seen a bear in the wild. And we saw it exactly the right way—from the safety of our minivan.

Much different than my first time seeing a bear in the wild. This is a true story, promise.
So, I may have mentioned that I studied geology in university. One of my first jobs was prospecting up in Labrador, in Northern Canada (though not quite the Arctic tundra). We flew in by float plane, lived in tents for two months, didn't see civilization, had virtually no protection against the wild. I think the cook had a shotgun next to the bags of flour though. Yeah, interesting times. Anyway, I was hanging up my laundry one day when I heard a rustling in the bushes on the other side of the line. I peeked over my hung t-shirt to see a black bear staring back at me. I never thought about protocol or training. I just went into fight or flight mode. Luckily there was an outhouse (the only wooden structure in camp) right behind me, so I scrambled in there. Not sure what the bear did but after 10 minutes I didn't hear anything and crept out to find it was gone. Needless to say, I had to do laundry a second time that day.....

 

[Allison Joy]

We made it to Newfound Gap, which is the point where the road crests the mountain range. There’s a parking lot and overlook as well as some hiking trails, including a piece of the Appalachian Trail. Theoretically, you could keep going to Maine if you so desired.

My brother and sister-in-law have done a "thru-hike" of the Appalachian Trail (AT), along with the other two north/south trails, The Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) and the Continental Divide Trail (CDT). They did each trail in one go. Each one took them between 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 months, and each was over 2,000 miles. They did the PCT in 2006, the AT in 2008, and the CDT in 2010. They have some absolutely amazing pictures from their adventrues.

Finally, Julie couldn’t take it anymore. “Is there anyone else in the men’s room?” she asked. The other women in line seemed interested in the answer as well. I told her there was one guy using a stall. Julie told the other women she’d blaze a trail for them. So she marched up to the door, stuck her head in, and loudly announced, “Heads up! I’m coming in! The women’s room is closed!”


And that was that. She never heard a peep from the guy in there.

Ha! That is hilarious.

I’ll take that over seeing a bear while hiking and trying to play dead (or worse, trying to make lots of noise to “intimidate” the bear). We all know none of those techniques actually work. Everyone giving those instructions is just trying to see if you’ll actually do it, so you can die with as little dignity as possible. Bottom line, if you’re up against a bear, you’re going to lose. I’d recommend standing still waiting for the death blow like Ben Kenobi, because at least that looks cool. Especially if you are holding a lightsaber. But then again, if you have a lightsaber, why aren’t you using it on the bear?

Have you ever read "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson? It's about his hike on the AT, and he has this hilarious part about bears... (going to use the "quote" feature and see if it works for non-board posts...)

All the books tell you that if the grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life.

There's quite a bit of language in the book, and it gets a bit... crude at times. to the piont that I had to stop reading it. But the parts I did read were quite funny.

 

[Steppesister]

Finally around to catching up around these parts. AND...... Everything goes back to normal schedule tomorrow...
Happy Holidays all!

WHOA! She ariseth from the... hey! where've you been?!

It's what we do. Until we get sick of it, anyway.

They then switch to BBQ. But don't worry, they'll be back to PB&J soon enough.

Wow--small world! I wonder if they ever met my uncle. He's been there a long time. If they ever had an appointment with an eye doctor, they may have seen him.

I'll ask.

Every parent of multiple children figures this stuff out eventually.

It doesn't take long.

Folgers sure is cheaper, though!

I wish I had a puke emoji.

She also noted that the findings were not statistically significant. So there's that.

Since when are facts important on this TR?

I know from experience that you can't survive in public service without an inordinate amount of patience!

Then again, Julie has survived almost 20 years of marriage to me. I don't know where I stand on this issue.

Seems like a fair fight.

So, I"m going all the way to CA to fight with him?