Thinking about inviting DS's friend...

[JohnTigger'sMom]

would it be tacky of me to ask parent's to pay for his passes & food expense? Hotel is already paid for and we have the extra room. It sure would be nice for my son to have his best buddy along to play with.

 

[WDW2002]

IMO if you invite someone you should pay.

 

[dcedwards]

I don't think so but I would probably approach parents first before mentioning it to either of the kids. And, I would have all the costs outlined for them when you talk to them about that. That will help them make a decision as to whether they could afford to do that. After all you are providing the supervision, hotel room, and I am assuming transportation. That is a great deal for a trip to DW. We did this with our neice. We paid for everything except the pass and her snack/spending money. They didn't have a problem with that at all. Thought it was a great idea.

 

[Tay N Evie's Mom]

I'm with WDW2002-if you're going to invite someone you should pay for everything except souviner money. I think by asking his family you may be putting them in an awkward position if they don't have the extra money. If having DS friend along would make him happy-then bite the bullet and pay for him.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Another vote for paying. DS is an only child and we plan to bring a friend when he is about 12. We will pay for everything except special souviners that we expect DS to pay for himself too. It will be worth the extra money to have a friend along .


jordan's mom

 

[Chuck S]

I would approach the parents of the friend before memntioning it to the kids. I see nothing wrong with explaining before a trip what admissions and meals you expect them to pay. Then it is their decision whether to allow their son to go. If they decline, and you REALLY want him to go, then make the offer of a free trip.

 

[Dr. Happy]

after all, you are paying for a good chunk of the vacation. Just because he's a guest doesn't mean you can't ask the family to help out.

I say do what you think is best. Certainly other families have offered to pay when they become aware that their child is being invited on such a nice trip...

I would be comfortable asking about it...

 

[dcedwards]

This type of situation can be a little awkward. While it would be wonderful if you could pay for the whole trip, there may be a case where that isn't possible. So, then comes the question that we seem to be divided on here. Don't invite, invite and pay for it all, or invite and offer to pay for a large part of the trip asking the parents to chip in some, too.

I think it may depend on the type of relationship you have with your son's friend's parents. In some cases, you know they wouldn't mind paying. In other cases, you may not be sure whether they can afford it at all. I think, if you approach the parents first and explain what you are thinking about doing, the costs involved and ... explain that you realize that it isn't always possible to come up with the money for something like this when it isn't planned ... but if they think it might be possible that you would like XX to come along. That gives them a way out and they may not feel awkward about saying no. And, if you haven't said anything to either of the kids then, hopefully, there wouldn't be any awkwardness if the parents said no.

What it comes down to is that you have to do what you feel is best. Each situation is different. I don't think any one of us that have posted are wrong. We just come from different backgrounds and experiences. That is what makes this board so wonderful. You can examine things from all sides and then make a decision. Good Luck.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Great answer dcedwards!


Much better that my quick "yes pay" answer. You are so right about everyones ideas and experence comming into play. Thanks a lot!


Jordan's mom

 

[JohnTigger'sMom]

Thanks so much for everyone's input...I value all of your opinions...that's what I love about these boards!

 

[crusoe2]

I thought I would offer another perspective on the question of who pays. We've let our son take a friend on one of our trips and we paid for everything except for a few of his souveniers. Our DS is an only child but the friend he invited has a brother and sister and the family is not especially well-off. If his parents had paid his way, I'm fairly certain his brother and sister would have felt that they should have gotten a treat, too. This could have gotten so expensive that the other parents wouldn't have felt they were getting such a good deal. This may not apply in your situation but I thought it was something to consider. And I agree with the others who said that it really depends on your relationship with the friend's parents. Our son has another friend that he would like to invite along sometime and I would not hesitate to ask his parents to help with the expenses. I know them well enough to feel comfortable discussing the finances and I know that they can afford to pay their son's way and still treat the other kids in the family to something special, too. Hope this helps.

 

[JENNYSAMS]

i am in the same predicament. i want to invite my sons friend but we cant afford to pay for his park passes.

ill read your responses and hopefully it can help us decide as well.

have a great trip!!!

 

[MrsPete]

1. I would not really want to send my child on an out-of-state trip with another family. I feel this way for several reasons: I'd feel overly indebted financially to the other family (even if I knew the money was no object), and I think vacations are for FAMILIES. These opinions, of course, are my own and you may or may not share them.

2. If I were to invite a child's friend on a vacation (big if), I would definately pay his or her way. Also, I would be quicker to agree to a friend if it were a beach trip (less expensive and more laid-back) rather than a Disney trip. I just can't imagine saying, "I'd like to take little Johnny to Disneyworld, and it'll cost ____. How about writing me a check?"

 

[crisi]

I agree that you should think about it from the other parents point of view, and then, if it seems they might go for it, approach them.

I have one question - how old are the kids? I think its ok to ask the other parents to pick up the cost of the plane and park tickets - and some spending money for snacks and souveniers, but unless the kids are well into their teens and will be independant for most of the trip, I'd pick up meals. Having a young kid carry that much cash (even travelers checks) and expecting them to budget seems unreasonable.

(Growing up, this went on all the time with my friends. I seldom went anywhere (my parents were broke and strict) but my cousins went skiing with friends often. And they paid their own airfare lift tickets - even when the other family was quite wealthy.

 

[trishy]

In my experience, if I want to invite someone else's child - I have to first determine if I can afford the entire trip expense for this child. If I can't, then when I approach the parents with the idea of taking their child, I tell them up front what I can afford to do and what they will need to pitch in expense-wise. However, if I have already extended the invitation without mentioning needing help with expenses, then it is a fair assumption by the parents that I will provide the cost of the trip. Souvenir money has always been provided automatically by the parents so I haven't run into this.

 

[fortwilderness]

I am an only child so it was always a treat to have a friend come along for vacations -especially WDW vacations. My parents always paid for everything (food, tickets, hotel, ect) and even gave my friends some spending money - usually around $50. But that is just how my parents are - they feel akward making a invited guest pay for anything. Plus they knew by letting me bring a friend along both me and my parents would have a much better vacation. It was worth the money to them.

I personally don't think it would be "tacky" to ask for the friend's parents to chip in but I wouldn't ask them for the whole amount. Maybe just ask for help with the tickets but you pay for the food. For me it would just really depend on which family is financially better off and how well you know them.