Unwanted attention from the rainbow Magic Band on a child?

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This post is a little old but I figured I might chime in anyways. If a Guest sees something they don't like...more often than not they'll turn to the nearest CM to talk about it versus bothering another Guest. Regarding the Pride collection I've had multiple people glad at one another, only to come over to me to rant. It's very uncomfortable but I'd rather it be at me than someone else.

That being said it's such a minor thing on a child that I dont think anyone is going to notice, certainly not a CM anyways.
 
What is there to report? Someone’s wearing a rainbow Mickey shirt or rainbow WDW T-shirt? Disney sells that merchandise.
 
We will be there next month, I will report anything out of the ordinary.
 
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This week I've been wearing a rainbow MB and mostly rainbow Disney/Mickey T-shirts, and the mickey hands rainbow heart hat they had last year. The only reactions I've had has been people, usually CMs, saying they like my shirts or my hat.
 
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in à normal day at wdw , if you sit and pay attention to people walking by, you’ll notice a hundred rainbow items on kids, men, women and obvious couples. I wouldn’t overthink it. I’m sure you’re 12 year old is aware of the meaning.
 
Older thread, but I disagreed with what I read and thought I'd add my thoughts: if a tween-aged boy wanted to wear something associated with gay pride, I would have a discreet conversation with him just to make sure he knows. When I was in sixth grade, we had to make business cards during our first week of "homeroom" class. Well, naturally I started the semester late -- we were vacationing in Disney World of course (so my parents could take advantage of the deep AP room discounts) -- and there were few remaining designs (the cards were pre-printed). So I picked the rainbow, not thinking much about it (the remaining designs were all feminine). Next, I had to pick something to represent me... well, stuff like pictures of a football, Nintendo controller, etc. were taken, so I picked a cat from what was left, because we had a cat for a pet. So my business card was a rainbow... with a picture of a cat (where a normal business logo would go). Totally innocent, but boys are boys and I was subject to heavy teasing - even past graduation.

I'm glad that some of us live in an inclusive society, but do you know who hates being teased about being gay the most? Straight tween/teenage boys in grade school. Especially when the teasing isn't necessarily playful... yes, we do live in a society where kids make themselves feel better or more important by bullying others...
 


Older thread, but I disagreed with what I read and thought I'd add my thoughts: if a tween-aged boy wanted to wear something associated with gay pride, I would have a discreet conversation with him just to make sure he knows. When I was in sixth grade, we had to make business cards during our first week of "homeroom" class. Well, naturally I started the semester late -- we were vacationing in Disney World of course (so my parents could take advantage of the deep AP room discounts) -- and there were few remaining designs (the cards were pre-printed). So I picked the rainbow, not thinking much about it (the remaining designs were all feminine). Next, I had to pick something to represent me... well, stuff like pictures of a football, Nintendo controller, etc. were taken, so I picked a cat from what was left, because we had a cat for a pet. So my business card was a rainbow... with a picture of a cat (where a normal business logo would go). Totally innocent, but boys are boys and I was subject to heavy teasing - even past graduation.

I'm glad that some of us live in an inclusive society, but do you know who hates being teased about being gay the most? Straight tween/teenage boys in grade school. Especially when the teasing isn't necessarily playful... yes, we do live in a society where kids make themselves feel better or more important by bullying others...
But this thread isn't about a school project, it is about wearing a rainbow magic band at Disney. I was gay bullied in Jr. High, b4 I had any idea what "gay" meant, 50 years ago. And even then, growing up in Southern California, Disneyland was a safe place...not as friendly as now, but still safe. It is doubtful he'd be wearing a magic band once the trip is over.
 
But this thread isn't about a school project, it is about wearing a rainbow magic band at Disney. I was gay bullied in Jr. High, b4 I had any idea what "gay" meant, 50 years ago. And even then, growing up in Southern California, Disneyland was a safe place...not as friendly as now, but still safe. It is doubtful he'd be wearing a magic band once the trip is over.

You completely missed my point; most posters are assuming that a 12yo knows the significance of the rainbow. That's a very, very dangerous assumption - most kids are naturally attracted to rich, vibrant colors, and given most tweens/tweens today want to be different and stand out, he could be attracted to the rainbow just because it's different/he thinks it'll make him do so. Of course, there are also many 12yo who understand and embrace the significance of the rainbow. I'm not naive -- at a former job, one of the organizers of SF Pride was a client, so I witnessed thousands of kids embracing the rainbow in some form or another while I was "volunteering." But again, kids develop at different rates and have different exposure in different areas... assuming that a 12yo should know is just wrong.

Secondly, while WDW may be a safe place and I agree it's unlikely anybody would wear their Magic Bands once their trips ended, that's not the problem. He's going to post pictures and videos of his trip on social media... and the Magic Band will be noticeable, especially to trolls. Let's not pretend we live in an inclusive society. Most tweens have a hard time coping with rumors about their sexuality, especially if they're straight, questioning or not ready to come out. Like I said, mom would be wise to have a discreet conversation with son.
 
You completely missed my point; most posters are assuming that a 12yo knows the significance of the rainbow. That's a very, very dangerous assumption - most kids are naturally attracted to rich, vibrant colors, and given most tweens/tweens today want to be different and stand out, he could be attracted to the rainbow just because it's different/he thinks it'll make him do so. Of course, there are also many 12yo who understand and embrace the significance of the rainbow. I'm not naive -- at a former job, one of the organizers of SF Pride was a client, so I witnessed thousands of kids embracing the rainbow in some form or another while I was "volunteering." But again, kids develop at different rates and have different exposure in different areas... assuming that a 12yo should know is just wrong.

Secondly, while WDW may be a safe place and I agree it's unlikely anybody would wear their Magic Bands once their trips ended, that's not the problem. He's going to post pictures and videos of his trip on social media... and the Magic Band will be noticeable, especially to trolls. Let's not pretend we live in an inclusive society. Most tweens have a hard time coping with rumors about their sexuality, especially if they're straight, questioning or not ready to come out. Like I said, mom would be wise to have a discreet conversation with son.

I get what you're trying to say and I'm not diminishing your opinion or experience. If a kid is going to be bullied, the bullies will find something to bully them over. Whether it is a rainbow magic band or reading a book instead of playing football...bullies find something. Heck, I was bullied when I moved to Texas in fourth grade because I was from the north. The bullying continued through ninth grade and the word "gay" never entered the conversation. This experience was also close to 30 years ago.

Mom having a conversation with this child over may help this situation-I'm never opposed to open and honest communication between kids and parents-but the unintended effect may be making this child second guess every thing they want to do or like in life for fear of the bullies. I'd be more inclined to support Mom teaching him how to punch bullies back if they come after him. There are a lot of variables we don't know: where is this child from, are they on social media, what is their personality like, etc.
 
My soon to be 12 year old son wants the rainbow Magic Band for our upcoming trip. He likes that it is bright colored and fun and doesn't know the significance of the rainbow. My question is this.....I think and have thought for a while now that he may be gay and hasn't quite figured it out yet or isn't yet willing to say.

This may be contradictory to what everyone else has said, however, it's possible that he definitely knows what it means but maybe doesn't think YOU know what it means. He may just be saying he thinks it's brightly colored and fun to try to throw you off. He may want to wear it as he feels that Disney is a safe place and may be testing the waters to see how people react knowing that he'll never see any of those people again in his life.


My gut says get it, explain the context, and prepare him so that if someone says something idiotic, he is ready to ignore it or tell them to mind their own business. I'm just trying to be the best mom possible so I can protect and support my kid. Any advice and positive thoughts are welcome! TIA!

I think you should go with your gut. You know your child, you know your values and you know what is important, and that's to love your kid(s) no matter what.

I've never been a parent, but I have been a gay son. I don't have the right answers to this, but maybe it's better to break this out into different conversations, and maybe try to space them out. Not like - rainbows mean gay and gay is okay, but:
First, make sure he knows that you love him and support him no matter who he loves, and more importantly, that he can come to you with anything. 12-ish is a delicate age, and you have to figure out the right way to say that being gay is okay without giving him the impression that you think he may be gay. Implying anything can have a really negative reaction (though even if he got mad, he would probably be quick to come around if he knows you're supportive). Maybe find a pointed way to make note of someone on tv, a celebrity, a gay athelete, etc. and talk about how wonderful it is that they are in love and that everyone around them is so supportive, and how it's so great that they can come to their families and talk about it. The more often it casually comes up, the less "weird" it will be.
This may also be a great time to talk about how there are many people who don't agree with your standpoint and how some people may think negatively, and that those people are wrong. You can compare it to other things he may get flak for in life, or other things you may have experienced. People - especially teenagers, will always find something to make fun of. Whether it's rainbow accessories, actually being gay, wearing glasses, religion, politics - anything, how he handles it is key, and it's important he knows that some people belong in your life and some don't.
Finally, maybe as a part of this conversation, maybe at a different time, I'd maybe bring up the symbolism of the rainbow, you can talk about what it means and why it's important, and you can talk about how there are products that are marketed as an expression of pride, red white and blue products are sold around independence day and show pride in your country (if you're from the US, that is), bright green things are sold around St. Patrick's day and show pride in or support of Irish Heritage, rainbow products are sold to show pride in knowing that love is love and are most commonly worn by gay people, though that doesn't mean that all people wearing red white and blue are Americans, they just may like the color combination, and the same goes for rainbows.
That should be plenty, as long as he's clear on what the meaning is, then when it comes up at a later date - if you still have the time, "hey son, have you decided on what magic band you want? we have the rainbow one in our cart right now." He knows what it means, knows you're supportive and can make his decision with all the information.
Also, if he is gay or questioning, the amount of positive attention that he will get from cast members will be so uplifting. SO uplifting, and it will help him to know that there are others around that are supportive - I don't mean anything inappropriate, but he'll hear a lot of "I like your magic band" (I hear a lot of that when I carry my rainbow mickey phone case, and it's just spreading happiness). You can even encourage him to compliment other people's rainbow magic bands, or hats, or pins or tshirts.

I meant for this to be a very short post but I guess I had a lot more to say than I thought. Sorry for rambling and thanks for reading. To sum up:
He may know what it means and think that you don't. Explain that you do and/or teach him, and make it positive.
The most important thing is that you're supportive. You sound like a good mom.

I realize after writing this whole thing that you posted like 9 months ago and have already definitely figured out what you were going to do. How did it go?
 
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I get what you're trying to say and I'm not diminishing your opinion or experience. If a kid is going to be bullied, the bullies will find something to bully them over. Whether it is a rainbow magic band or reading a book instead of playing football...bullies find something. Heck, I was bullied when I moved to Texas in fourth grade because I was from the north. The bullying continued through ninth grade and the word "gay" never entered the conversation. This experience was also close to 30 years ago.

Mom having a conversation with this child over may help this situation-I'm never opposed to open and honest communication between kids and parents-but the unintended effect may be making this child second guess every thing they want to do or like in life for fear of the bullies. I'd be more inclined to support Mom teaching him how to punch bullies back if they come after him. There are a lot of variables we don't know: where is this child from, are they on social media, what is their personality like, etc.

I disagree simply because he is 12. Most 12yo can't thoroughly think their actions through, and this is where mom & dad need to step in. Mom & dad simply need to make him aware of the consequences of his actions, even if they let him make the decision. Ultimately, it's impossible to predict how a 12yo will react to bullying ... especially if he's straight, unsure, confused or not ready to come out. Here's another example: a couple years ago, my friend's 17yo son went to a pride event. Almost a year later, just a couple months before he was set to graduate, photographs of him at that event surfaced and he became ridiculed. Some guys would've used it as an opportunity to come out -- remember, two months from graduation. While, he was so depressed, he dropped out of high school, relinquishing a full college scholarship. Mom and dad couldn't have helped him, but the situation derived because - in the heat of the moment - he allowed a photograph of himself that gave away his sexuality to be taken, not realizing that ultimately his peers could - somehow - become aware of it.

IMO - and just MO - I believe it's best to let kids make their own decisions, but I believe its our job as parents to let them have enough information to make the decision.
 
Sure, kids need information to make a decision. But he's 12. Saying "the rainbow, among a million other things, is a symbol of the gay community and if people see you with it on, they may think you're gay" seems like a massive information dump on a young child.

In your next example, where were Mom and Dad? They didn't notice ANY change in his behavior? Like, nothing? No one goes from happy go lucky one moment to depressed and dropping out of school in the next moment. I don't really buy that. I think it's more likely Mom and Dad weren't paying attention or didn't want to acknowledge he may have been going through something which was potentially uncomfortable for them and therefore did nothing. But I don't know the entire situation...and I am 100% not judging. At all.

I'm still in favor of wearing whatever the heck you want to wear. And then learning how to deal with bullies if need be. Bullies exist in the world at any age and those who are bullied need to learn to stick up for themselves. That's the quickest way for bullies to back down. (I'm not talking violence, either. I'm talking using resources--adults in school, parents, knowing your own self worth, etc.)
 
Wear whatever you want, clearly some guests do anyway. If a rainbow turns anyone’s heads then they’ll be turning their heads 2 minutes later at something else.
 
Sure, kids need information to make a decision. But he's 12. Saying "the rainbow, among a million other things, is a symbol of the gay community and if people see you with it on, they may think you're gay" seems like a massive information dump on a young child.

It won't be. The conversation would be natural, fluid and catering to the kid's knowledge. Unless he's living in a secluded cult (and I would infer he's not, based on mom's posting), he probably has a fair idea of the concept of homosexuality. The depth of knowledge regarding human sexuality and topics like homosexuality vary widely at that age. At the most extreme, there's a significant number of guys who've admitted to using apps like Grinder as preteens, out of pure curiosity. There's also a significant number of 12yo who are completely innocent, just beginning puberty, and are clueless about anything regarding sexuality.

But I cringe at the advice of 'let him do what he wants, and if his peers see the Magic Band in the photos, make assumptions, and bully him regardless of whether he's straight, questioning or not ready to come out... so what. Deal with it.' Having the conversation before it happens... will be a lot easier than having it after it happens. Especially given that some kids can't deal with the bullying.

Wear whatever you want, clearly some guests do anyway. If a rainbow turns anyone’s heads then they’ll be turning their heads 2 minutes later at something else.

As I mentioned, the concerning issue is the kid posting videos and pictures to social media with the Magic Band clearly visible, and the reactions of his peers. Some likes like to bully others, just because it makes them feel better about their selves.
 
The only correct answer here is “Cool. I like the rainbow one, too.”

It's Disneyfied advice, not a correct answer. What happens if his peers see pictures... and name calling starts, rumors spread, etc., some of his friends tell him they don't want to hang with him anymore, and he enters a deep depression? Obviously, it may not happen ... but it happens a lot more than we'd like to think. And it's completely avoidable, with a proper talk.
 
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It's Disneyfied advice, not a correct answer. What happens if his peers see pictures... and name calling starts, rumors spread, etc., some of his friends tell him they don't want to hang with him anymore, and he enters a deep depression? Obviously, it may not happen ... but it happens a lot more than we'd like to think. And it's completely avoidable, with a proper talk.

“What happens if his peers see pictures of him wearing BLUE at Disney World, and name calling starts and rumors spread that he’s straight. Some of his friends tell him they don’t want to hang with him anymore because he’s straight. And he enters a deep depression...”

You’d say “These people are insane! Who cares if he’s wearing blue or is straight?”

The real question is: “Is your child’s school district generally safe for LGBTQI kids?”

If so: “Cool. I like that one, too.”

If not: maybe focus on where you’re living and sending the child to school than the Magic Band.

You certainly can’t insulate a child from ALL issues, but they are certainly better off without friends who aren’t LGBTQI affirming. Just like they’re better off without friends who are racists, liars, or anti-Semitic.

Bullies promote fear and prey on shame. Afford them neither.
 
Thanks for the comments! I fear I may be overthinking things in my efforts to make sure he is OK with things, whether it affects him directly or if he is simply a supporter of the community like me. I think you are right....he likes the Magic Band and it is a great opportunity to instill some positive values about supporting others. He's a pretty caring little dude so we'll have a good talk and he can wear his happy new Magic Band!

If your son is in fact gay, This is a beautiful opportunity for you to show him your support without pushing him to reveal anything to you he’s not ready to (or not sure about yet). When my son was that age, I might have commented that not only was his choice of band colorful and fun, but a great way to show support for the LGBTQ+ community. That would have allowed me to reinforce my support of LGBTQ+ folks to him without making assumptions. I think it’s important for parents of “maybe gay” kids on the cusp of adolescence to find many opportunities in day-to-day life to reinforce their support and acceptance of all things gay. It’s hard for kids to come out to their parents, even really liberal, supportive parents. And it’s hard to be 12. Good for you for being so thoughtful about this.
 
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