What do you wish you could tell someone?

[ronandannette]

When I was working I always wished I could tell all the wives of the guys there that they cheat on them! At some of the bbq's at co-workers houses their wives would be sitting there saying how they and their husband are best friends and do everything together etc- and in my head I am thinking "well I know a couple of things the two of you are NOT doing together " but I am not going to be the one to tell them, maybe if I was good friends I would but I am friends with most of the husbands (and no I never cheated with any of them!) so I just sit there and smile and nod as the clueless women go on and on.

Just curious if you ever called any of your guy friends out on their disgusting betrayals of their apparently devoted wives? I can't imagine the kind of character it would take for those miscreants to be comfortable sitting there with both you and their wives at the type of events you describe.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I doubt you intended to save that company-wide payroll report to a very public place on the server, so before it was discovered by the entire company, I moved it to a very private place on my home PC. You’re welcome.

 

[aprilgail]

Just curious if you ever called any of your guy friends out on their disgusting betrayals of their apparently devoted wives? I can't imagine the kind of character it would take for those miscreants to be comfortable sitting there with both you and their wives at the type of events you describe.

Oh sure I have said stuff to them but it is so common that no one blinks an eye there when one of them is cheating- The worst one was this guy I worked with at one of our locations- his wife would be calling on the phone looking for him- the girl he was cheating with would stop by looking for him and he was in the back parking lot with another girl- I laughed my butt off when he was finally caught, but the stupid woman stayed with him!

 

[IndianaMouse]

I'm sorry for your loss (huge apologies if I'm making incorrect assumptions). Not the same as being able to share with people who knew your son, but please feel free to start a thread if you think that would help. There is a thread ongoing right now by a DISer whose husband just died and she certainly seems to be getting a lot of benefit from it.

Thank you. I did read part of the thread that you mention but as I saw where it was heading I had to stop and now I just offer silent prayers for the family whenever I see the heading as I'm browsing the boards. I hadn't considered starting a thread until you mentioned it but may reach out at some point.

I’m so very sorry for your loss and pain. I can’t imagine.

Thank you so much

I join the others here in offering sincere condolences - it's plain you are grieving very deeply. I would gently suggest that those people in your life who are still present and regularly checking on you absolutely DO care for you; they've just reached an awkward stage where what they have to offer is no longer comforting or useful to you where you're at.
Please consider looking for comfort and support amongst others who truly understand your feelings. Organizations like GrieffShare https://www.griefshare.org/about are specifically for bereaved parents and can be an absolute lifeline to those drowning in pain that none of us can really comprehend when we haven't experienced the same kind of loss. @SirDuff 's suggestion about opening up here may also help - there's no lack of patient, compassionate listeners on the CB. I wish you well.

Thank you. You could very well be right and it doesn't help that while I talk about my son often, I spend every second of the day fighting off my grief so I can function well enough to take care of my daughter and try to keep things as normal as possible for her as she doesn't understand what has happened to her brother or how to express her feelings of missing him. I will check into the site you mentioned , hopefully I can find some comfort there and help with how to help my DD>

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you so much

 

[ronandannette]

Thank you. You could very well be right and it doesn't help that while I talk about my son often, I spend every second of the day fighting off my grief so I can function well enough to take care of my daughter and try to keep things as normal as possible for her as she doesn't understand what has happened to her brother or how to express her feelings of missing him. I will check into the site you mentioned , hopefully I can find some comfort there and help with how to help my DD>




Thank you so much

Whatever it is you're feeling, including anger and frustration at those around you - it's NOT abnormal after such a profound loss. At a certain point, everyone and everything will fall short. I've had the awesome and terrible privilege of walking very closely alongside dear friends through the sudden loss of their 17 y.o. twin sons and the depth of their grief, even now a little more than two years later, is much more than I can comprehend. The one thing I have learned is that while it is completely unnatural, it is entirely all too common for parents to lose children, and no one but another bereaved parent can understand that loss, and speak in ways that will soothe your tattered heart. Please, please consider GriefShare or Compassionate Friends https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ . It could make a world of difference to yourself and your DD, and both of you deserve that. Grace and peace to you.

 

[focusondisney]

Oh sure I have said stuff to them but it is so common that no one blinks an eye there when one of them is cheating- The worst one was this guy I worked with at one of our locations- his wife would be calling on the phone looking for him- the girl he was cheating with would stop by looking for him and he was in the back parking lot with another girl- I laughed my butt off when he was finally caught, but the stupid woman stayed with him!

Which stupid woman, the wife, girl friend or the other girl?

 

[2China2009]

To my next door neighbor " You are white trash!!!! You have not done 1 thing to the house or yard since you moved in. Your house is a disgrace to the neighborhood. You are lazy and smoke a carton of cigarettes over 1 day. I can smell the smoke billowing from your windows to mine that are open to get fresh air in my house. You have a lawn mover use it! You have not cut your your yard or raked leaves in over a year. You do not deserve a house until you can take care of it properly.

 

[focusondisney]

I can see your eyes glaze over when I mention his name.

You're not changing the subject as soon as I finish what I am saying about him because you care and don't want me to get upset. You are changing the subject to make yourself comfortable.

When you call to check on me I can hear the distraction/boredom in your voice as soon as I mention his name.

By doing all of these you are telling me that your comfort trumps my pain, my loss, my need to share my memories of my son. You are telling me that my son didn't matter and that you are not the friend/family I thought you were ,so stop pretending to care when you say " I'm here for you".

Unfortunately I've been wanting to say all of this to quite a few people over the last 9 months. I probably shouldn't say this here but it does make me feel better to finally get it out somewhere.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is the worst thing I can imagine going thru in life. We all expect to lose our parents & maybe our spouse. No one ever expects to outlive their child. As brutal as the Dis can be sometimes, the posters can be amazingly supportive too. You can say all those things here when ever you need to. We will listen to your memories & probably cry right along with you.

 

[Pugsly]

To my neighbors, you no longer live on the south side of town. Get rid of the spare car door you have leaning against the side of your house, along with all the junk you bring home from cruising garage sales and stack up on your back patio (all of which I can see from my kitchen window).

 

[Mirielle]

I would *love* to tell a friend of mine that no one...not one human on the face of this earth, wants to hear about her cat's illnesses.

 

[princesspiglet]

To my co-worker: Please stay out of my office...we are not friends, I don't need you to just "stop by and say hi" every time you walk past (which is about 8 times a day). I come to work to work, not to chit-chat all day long about mindless stupid crap. Just go back to your desk and pretend I don't exist!

 

[Lilacs4Me]

To the deadbeat mother of our great-nephew that we have guardianship of:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending him back to us with lice after a weekend with your family. I really appreciated having to spend an entire week washing and cleaning EVERYTHING in my house so that the rest of us didn't get it, too. And, no we don't want the bottle of leftover lice shampoo "just in case"...we want you to take care of it so it doesn't happen again!

Also, please get your act together and drop the toxic boyfriend who smokes weed in front of your kids and fights with you until you are screaming, grabbing knives, and the police are called. Your son hears ALL of this when he is with you on the weekend, and has made us promise not to tell anyone because he is terrified he won't be able to see you anymore. And if you don't change your behavior soon, we WON'T let him see you.

Also, on a somewhat less-dramatic note - To my workfriend:

You are flaky and inconsistent. No, I will NOT leave my billion dollar division to follow you to a tiny 3-million dollar division that has already been marked to be sold off! Are you crazy???!!! STOP asking me!!

 

[ronandannette]

To our next-door neighbours:

Is your lease up soon? You know the one your parents fraudulently signed with the owner knowing they were moving out and moving you in? Please just pack your stuff and go - this is a quiet, mature condo community and your antics have driven everybody crazy. Oh, and on your way out don't forget to pick up all the dog crap you've left on the common area grass no matter how nicely you've been asked not to, and figure out a way to repair the grass your dog pee has killed. And in the meantime, just for once, try to string a sentence together without cursing loud enough to wake the dead the next time you're out toking up on your patio.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

your husband has never been faithful to you, and is planning to cheat once again on your family vacation this week

 

[ronandannette]

your husband has never been faithful to you, and is planning to cheat once again on your family vacation this week

Oh lord, that makes my blood run cold. What would it take for you to actually alert this hapless victim?

 

[Floridaman999]

You can pretend all you want but we all know the truth.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

Oh lord, that makes my blood run cold. What would it take for you to actually alert this hapless victim?

I wish I could tell her but it's not possible. Part of me thinks she knows and chooses to ignore it honestly.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I would *love* to tell a friend of mine that no one...not one human on the face of this earth, wants to hear about her cat's illnesses.

I'm sure she has some compassionate friends who care - other pet lovers.

 

[Mirielle]

I'm sure she has some compassionate friends who care - other pet lovers.

She does, but it's reached the point that even the kindest, most compassionate pet lovers who are her friends are beginning to avoid her. Clerks in stores and waitresses in restaurants get "trapped" by her and can't get away.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

To the lady down the road who told people my house was raided and that all of my belongings were hauled out of my house - MYOB! My house wasn't raided, my belongings were not hauled out. My son was threatening to commit suicide so we, his parents, called 911 and the fire truck and police units and ambulance are protocol. Thankfully my son did not but you don't know anything about this and you decided it was best to just run your big, fat mouth about something that was a frightening event for my family. Thank you for spreading this around our small town. Appreciate that my dd had to go to school a couple days later to a ton of questions that were difficult at best for her to deal with.

Also to my sister. You're an idiot for moving in with a man you just started dating in mid-December and giving up the home our father bought you to some stranger renters. When this falls apart - I can't support you.