WWYD re:kids weight

[wenrob]

AS a Registered Dietitian for over 20 years THIS x1000!!!! I would add do not fall into the "low fat" or fat free trap. Fat is a necessary part of our diet-and some vitamins/minerals are better absorbed with fat presence, and fat lends to long term satiety. Doesn't mean eat spoonfuls of coconut oil, but do not go out of way to avoid it.



OH how I DESPISE that phrase!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is "moderation"? how many times per day/week of what food for what activity level??
"Moderation" is a food company advertising slogan. period.

BEST ADVICE-seek out a pediatric Registered Dietitian (NOT a health store gimmicky "nutritionist") for SOUND nutrition advice.

I also recommend Ellen Satter
http://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php

Sound advice for not starting feeding problems. This is initially VERY difficult for parents to do-realize only THEIR division of responsibility. And if she loves swimming - installing a love for a healthy activity now is the key to lifelong health - notice I didn't say "weight" or BMI (and do not get me started on the complete inappropriateness of using BMI for kids!!!)

Yes I have strong feelings about this-99% of weight/health issues as adults can be traced to childhood issues (clean plate club anyone? no, those starving kids in Africa aren't magically getting fed if you don't wipe plate clean). And Food company and "nutritionist" click-bait slogans and phrases exacerbate the issue.

How was she "diagnosed" as wheat (very serious), milk, soy allergy as a baby?? I would seriously reconsider this and seek out a qualified allergy MD who does the blood work (NOT a skin prick-good gravy people with sensitive skin are going to falsely react as a positive to nearly everything.) True wheat allergy (celiac) is relatively rare (unlike the gluten free fad that is going around now-yes I am sure some who have cut "wheat" feel better but that is mainly due to other changes at the time-like cutting processed carb). also most kids outgrow a mild milk intolerance.

Well, I mentioned portion control and balance many times in my post as well. Moderation means just that. Pay attention to serving sizes, pay attention to nutrition labels. Eat a serving of ice cream not a pint. Eat two slices of bacon (a typical serving) not five. A piece of toast with a bit of butter rather than half a loaf with half a stick of butter. A handful of grapes vs eating the whole bunch. My kids split a brownie after dinner last night rather than have a ridiculous sized one each. That's moderation. I'm sorry the phrase bothers you but if we teach it to our children when they're young they won't have to question what it means when they are grown and overweight.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, I mentioned portion control and balance many times in my post as well. Moderation means just that. Pay attention to serving sizes, pay attention to nutrition labels. Eat a serving of ice cream not a pint. Eat two slices of bacon (a typical serving) not five. A piece of toast with a bit of butter rather than half a loaf with half a stick of butter. A handful of grapes vs eating the whole bunch. My kids split a brownie after dinner last night rather than have a ridiculous sized one each. That's moderation. I'm sorry the phrase bothers you but if we teach it to our children when they're young they won't have to question what it means when they are grown and overweight.

When I started dating DH, he thought a pint of ice cream was a serving, he was so surprised to read the label! I think proper portions are a problem for most. I remember being surprised that a 1/2 sandwich (one slice of bread) was a single portion for a child, or that a box of pasta serves six.

 

[Jdbsfw]

Also, don't just look at calorie count and the macronutrient breakdown, actually look at the ingredients and avoid the garbage

 

[Westcoastwild]

3 ideas:

1. You could do what my parents did. Involuntarily enlist her in a sport every season, and then swim boot camp every summer. I never lost my blocky shape as a kid, and at the time I really disliked most of it. But in college, when a lot of people like me just became sedentary and even heavier, I was outside playing. Those sports never made me a hardcore athlete but they gave me a diverse range of interests and the muscles necessary to try new things (and also the lack of fear of pain necessary to try). So believe me, I was ungrateful at the time but I would have significant health issues today if they hadn't done so.

2. Develop outdoor hobbies as a family. This is the option I'd choose. Some neighbors did this. Go bike riding every weekend. The neighbors used to take us on 5-10 mile bike rides Go hiking. It would help your other kids burn energy. Sign up for kid friendly fun runs (maybe Disney). Take family golf lessons or skiing lessons or something. Sign up for rock climbing lessons. Take up yoga or zumba and take her along. This way she won't feel like she's the target and staying active is the real struggle. I mean you're concerned about her weight, I get it, but at this point in my life I've been all kinds of weights and the best kind is healthy. As in I have been skinny and unhealthy and sedentary as well as heavy and healthy and active and the latter is vastly preferable. The key is to expose her to as many alternative activities as possible that she might develop and interest in and maintain as an adult. Someone who isn't interested in volleyball might love dance. Someone who isn't interested in track might love trail running or zombie and paint marathons.

3. This should be in combination with the other two. But get her interested in cooking and knowledge about food. My mother taught me to cook but it didn't stick because she only taught me how to cook her favorite dishes- stuff I mainly can't eat now and nothing that excited me. See if there's anyone who teaches pastry classes or Asian cooking classes or anything like that in your area. Have her start a Pinterest board of ethnic recipes she'd like to try. Maybe get her to plan a few meals a month for your family. Take her to fancy kitchen stores- maybe add to your cookware collection. Tools that intrigue her, pretty pans that might make her excited to cook. Make the focus cooking from scratch and whole foods and farmers market. When she learns that stuff tastes way better than 90% of restaurants or ready made foods, you've nearly won the war.

Seriously. I can't emphasize this enough. If you told me I couldn't have junk food because it was unhealthy, I would have tried to live on it (which is exactly what happened as a teen). I learned in college that carrots could taste better than candy, that farmers markets were worth getting up at 6 for, that organic meat made a difference, and that quality was better than quanitity.

(And now my parents are simultaneously delighted that I come home and cook but bemused by my "exotic" food choices and grocery bill. So I suppose the danger is that she'll be dragging you to oyster bars on vacation rather than fish and chips but hey, at least u won't be worried about her weight anymore lol.)

 

[wenrob]

When I started dating DH, he thought a pint of ice cream was a serving, he was so surprised to read the label! I think proper portions are a problem for most. I remember being surprised that a 1/2 sandwich (one slice of bread) was a single portion for a child, or that a box of pasta serves six.

Yeah, I'd say knowing a serving size is not a common thing. Want a real shock WEIGH your portions rather than measuring them with a measuring cup or spoon. The sadness of a tablespoon of peanut butter or 1/2 cup of cereal weighed in grams will break your heart, lol. But if you pull out your great grandma's China and look at the size of the dinner plates and bowls vs the size of dinner plates and bowls now you can clearly see how portions have gotten out of hand especially in the US. My kids and I actually use the salad plates (8 inches) rather than the dinner plates (almost 10 inches) from my Corelle dishes. I use the dinner plates as serving platters and went and bought berry bowls for cereal bowls.

 

[wenrob]

3 ideas:

1. You could do what my parents did. Involuntarily enlist her in a sport every season, and then swim boot camp every summer. I never lost my blocky shape as a kid, and at the time I really disliked most of it. But in college, when a lot of people like me just became sedentary and even heavier, I was outside playing. Those sports never made me a hardcore athlete but they gave me a diverse range of interests and the muscles necessary to try new things (and also the lack of fear of pain necessary to try). So believe me, I was ungrateful at the time but I would have significant health issues today if they hadn't done so.

2. Develop outdoor hobbies as a family. This is the option I'd choose. Some neighbors did this. Go bike riding every weekend. The neighbors used to take us on 5-10 mile bike rides Go hiking. It would help your other kids burn energy. Sign up for kid friendly fun runs (maybe Disney). Take family golf lessons or skiing lessons or something. Sign up for rock climbing lessons. Take up yoga or zumba and take her along. This way she won't feel like she's the target and staying active is the real struggle. I mean you're concerned about her weight, I get it, but at this point in my life I've been all kinds of weights and the best kind is healthy. As in I have been skinny and unhealthy and sedentary as well as heavy and healthy and active and the latter is vastly preferable. The key is to expose her to as many alternative activities as possible that she might develop and interest in and maintain as an adult. Someone who isn't interested in volleyball might love dance. Someone who isn't interested in track might love trail running or zombie and paint marathons.

3. This should be in combination with the other two. But get her interested in cooking and knowledge about food. My mother taught me to cook but it didn't stick because she only taught me how to cook her favorite dishes- stuff I mainly can't eat now and nothing that excited me. See if there's anyone who teaches pastry classes or Asian cooking classes or anything like that in your area. Have her start a Pinterest board of ethnic recipes she'd like to try. Maybe get her to plan a few meals a month for your family. Take her to fancy kitchen stores- maybe add to your cookware collection. Tools that intrigue her, pretty pans that might make her excited to cook. Make the focus cooking from scratch and whole foods and farmers market. When she learns that stuff tastes way better than 90% of restaurants or ready made foods, you've nearly won the war.

Seriously. I can't emphasize this enough. If you told me I couldn't have junk food because it was unhealthy, I would have tried to live on it (which is exactly what happened as a teen). I learned in college that carrots could taste better than candy, that farmers markets were worth getting up at 6 for, that organic meat made a difference, and that quality was better than quanitity.

(And now my parents are simultaneously delighted that I come home and cook but bemused by my "exotic" food choices and grocery bill. So I suppose the danger is that she'll be dragging you to oyster bars on vacation rather than fish and chips but hey, at least u won't be worried about her weight anymore lol.)

You should see the look on waiters faces when my kids order Rainbow Trout, Salmon or something equally non "kid like." It's priceless, lol.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...get her interested in cooking and knowledge about food. My mother taught me to cook but it didn't stick because she only taught me how to cook her favorite dishes- stuff I mainly can't eat now and nothing that excited me. See if there's anyone who teaches pastry classes or Asian cooking classes or anything like that in your area. Have her start a Pinterest board of ethnic recipes she'd like to try. Maybe get her to plan a few meals a month for your family. Take her to fancy kitchen stores- maybe add to your cookware collection. Tools that intrigue her, pretty pans that might make her excited to cook. Make the focus cooking from scratch and whole foods and farmers market...

Those are great ideas as well!

 

[Magpie]

My son, when he was little, was always on the borderline between "at risk of being overweight" and "overweight". I felt like we were constantly battling, as he'd beg for food and pitch tantrums if he didn't get it. And he wanted bread, not bananas. Seemed obsessed with food, planning our every meal, demanding to know what it was, when it's be ready, etc. Helped me cook. Always cleared his plate, never picky, a "good eater". But always hungry.

When he was nine, having passed out after a breakfast of frosted corn flakes, he was diagnosed as hypoglycemic. His doctor said he had to eat low glycemic index foods and gave us a list.

Basically, lots of veggies and meat and milk products. Smaller amounts of fruit and whole grains. Avoid anything processed, pre-packaged or containing sugar or corn syrup. I thought of it as "real" food - ie, stuff I could pick up in a garden or get directly from a critter.

Within a few weeks, people were commenting that he was a happier boy, less volatile, and he stopped obsessing about food and he wasn't hungry all the time. Also, he looked less puffy. I wouldn't say he lost weight, but he maintained his weight and got taller, which led to the same thing. He's now a man, lean and well-grown, and capable of managing his own diet.

Observe your daughter's behaviour around food. Take notes. Then talk to your doctor. It may be that your daughter's diet needs to change, your doctor can help.

 

[Wishing on a star]

As I posted earlier... I agree with the above post.
Given what we know, I would definitely be very sensitive to the fact that something (medical/physical/etc.) could be going on.

 

[Westcoastwild]

To go with the above-

If the kid drinks a lot of fruit juice or pop, that's the first thing to cut. There have been several studies done about how fruit juice is detrimental for kids (as well as adults). Buy her a water bottle, encourage her to eat fruit if she needs something sweet. Maybe keep little squares of chocolate to satisfy cravings instead of letting the kids pick out a candy bar. Flavored popcorn instead of crackers.

And the other thing- cut down on bread in meals you prepare and don't go to restaurants with free breadsticks/rolls. That's seriously one of the toughest things for me. I still don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I love bread and can't resist it if it's on the table. So take it off the table if she has the same problem. Serve burgers naked. That sort of thing.

 

[Wishing on a star]

OMG!!!! So true!
We really don't do much bread... But fresh hot bread and butter at a restaurant, I have to have at least some!

I am making a healthy chicken pasta salad tonight... Mostly chicken and veggies, etc... not all pasta.

 

[Aermaia]

I have struggled with weight my whole life and trace it back to my childhood. I won't bother you with details, but will just share what I've learned. At her age, it's just best to let her height grow into her weight (slow down the weight gain) rather than trying to get her to lose weight.

Don't do power struggles over food.
Don't tell her she can't have a certain food - that just makes it more desireable.
Don't use food as a reward (or a punishment).
Don't put her on a diet (unless it's doctor supervised).

Do sign her up for dance or gymnastics or any other lessons of her choice where physical activity is involved.
Do restrict liquid calories - I always allowed my kids maximum one serving of juice per day and maximum one serving of chocolate milk. They could drink all the milk or water they wanted.


As I said above, I always struggled with my weight. Recently, I was able to switch to a diet that cut out most processed foods. Basically, it took my oldest kids leaving home to be able to do this. The frozen pizza for dinner is gone, the macaroni for lunch is gone etc. Now I eat protein, veggies and fruit. Oatmeal for breakfast. Soup for lunch. Oranges for snacks. I've been losing a pound and a half per week for the past 5 months.

I still have one child at home. He's 11. No weight problem, but I found after his older siblings were gone that he had a bad snacking habit. He'd snack and then not be hungry for dinner and leave most of his dinner on his plate. We just have started having a maximum number of calories of junk food per day that he can have. It's still his choice of when and what to consume. He is making better choices - choosing the 30 calorie big pretzel rather than the 300 calorie ice cream bar. And he's eating his protein and veggies more.

Hope this helps.

As someone who has struggled with their weight all their life, I agree with everything said here, and want to add a few things:

-Don't try to use incentives to encourage weight loss. I was promised money per pound lost in fifth grade. Instead of encouraging me, it just made me more aware of my size.
-Do encourage physical activity, but don't get frustrated if it does not result in weight loss. I grew up in the 80's/90's, when we were still pushed out the door at 9 am and encouraged not to return home until streetlights went on. I was very active, but it didn't always result in weight loss. The focus here should be leading a healthy and active lifestyle, not in losing weight.
-Do understand that other kids can be very cruel and prone to point out differences in their peers, and make sure to look for any changes in behavior that may suggest bullying, as this can begin an emotional eating habit that is harder to break.

 

[monorailsilver]

I can relate.

My older 2 did not hit 20 lbs until they were 2. My son had his tonsils out just before he turned 5 and lost weight from not eating and was around 27 lbs.

So when I was pregnant with my 3rd I thought for sure she'd be tiny as well. That was true at the start as she was the smallest of the 3 at birth. But she grew!

She was 20 lbs by age 1. The expensive carrier I bought to carry her around I had to stop wearing as she was too heavy.

Our pediatrician sent us to this place....really it was a waste of time. They'd weigh her when we went-like every 3 months and ask about how she ate. They did not give me any suggestions I wasn't already doing.

She is 11 and possibly heavier then my 16 year old who is skinny. And heavier then them 13 yo son (he is still small minus his gut).

I try to keep her active as much as possible. But when I am not home or in the shower or outside she will sneak food. I try not to buy a lot of junk because of that reason.

She loves to eat and loves veggies/salads. She is always the first to the table and the first done. There are times I tell her she needs to wait to eat.

I always give her the smallest portion, sometimes I fluff it up to make it look bigger. I used to cut her slice of pizza in half and she was allowed 2 slices like that which worked well and she never complained.

She has the bulk of her weight in her gut as well. Her legs are large but pretty muscular. We just started swimming so I am hopeful that will help. She usually loses a bit in the summer because of that.

How about letter boxing? We were trying to do that but 3 kids and sports and me working every other weekend makes that difficult to do. But my kids like that.

 

[Skippy918]

Could some kids just have a slower metabolism than others? If your kid doesn't have a weight issue, should portions be controlled anyway or should they eat as much as they want? I'm really curious about this.
My son is relatively thin around 60lbs and maybe 54in tall and almost 9 and his appetite lately is really massive. He easily out eats me and sometimes an adult size portion is not enough to satisfy him.
He's fairly active and always moving around, running around, etc.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I can relate.

My older 2 did not hit 20 lbs until they were 2. My son had his tonsils out just before he turned 5 and lost weight from not eating and was around 27 lbs.

So when I was pregnant with my 3rd I thought for sure she'd be tiny as well. That was true at the start as she was the smallest of the 3 at birth. But she grew!

She was 20 lbs by age 1. The expensive carrier I bought to carry her around I had to stop wearing as she was too heavy.

Our pediatrician sent us to this place....really it was a waste of time. They'd weigh her when we went-like every 3 months and ask about how she ate. They did not give me any suggestions I wasn't already doing.

She is 11 and possibly heavier then my 16 year old who is skinny. And heavier then them 13 yo son (he is still small minus his gut).

I try to keep her active as much as possible. But when I am not home or in the shower or outside she will sneak food. I try not to buy a lot of junk because of that reason.

She loves to eat and loves veggies/salads. She is always the first to the table and the first done. There are times I tell her she needs to wait to eat.

I always give her the smallest portion, sometimes I fluff it up to make it look bigger. I used to cut her slice of pizza in half and she was allowed 2 slices like that which worked well and she never complained.

She has the bulk of her weight in her gut as well. Her legs are large but pretty muscular. We just started swimming so I am hopeful that will help. She usually loses a bit in the summer because of that.

How about letter boxing? We were trying to do that but 3 kids and sports and me working every other weekend makes that difficult to do. But my kids like that.

So...no judgment...
But she might be sneaking food BECAUSE she's hungry, BECAUSE the portions you give her aren't enough to keep up with the calories she burns. Have you tried to let her eat multiple small meals a day? That's what my athlete sister does- she eats small portions as she goes along. So she won't gorge at dinner. It's hard when you're a kid to judge how hungry you are- you just know you're hungry, and you'll speed eat when you are. Comparing her to her siblings really isn't helpful- my metabolism and body type are completely different than my siblings. Sports didn't alter my shape much- for all the weight I lost in my belly, I made up for it in muscle in my legs and butt.

And then there's also the fact that girls grow in height and mature physically earlier than boys. My cousins didn't fill out until their late teens.

 

[Aermaia]

So...no judgment...
But she might be sneaking food BECAUSE she's hungry, BECAUSE the portions you give her aren't enough to keep up with the calories she burns. Have you tried to let her eat multiple small meals a day? That's what my athlete sister does- she eats small portions as she goes along. So she won't gorge at dinner. It's hard when you're a kid to judge how hungry you are- you just know you're hungry, and you'll speed eat when you are. Comparing her to her siblings really isn't helpful- my metabolism and body type are completely different than my siblings. Sports didn't alter my shape much- for all the weight I lost in my belly, I made up for it in muscle in my legs and butt.

And then there's also the fact that girls grow in height and mature physically earlier than boys. My cousins didn't fill out until their late teens.

I agree with this, if she is sneaking food, maybe give her 24 hour access to healthier options. For example keep some cut up fruits/veggies in the fridge with healthier yogurt and hummus type dips and let her know that she can snack on those whenever she feels hungry, then encourage mindful eating versus mindless snacking (i.e. you can eat as much as you want of this here at the kitchen table, but not while you are in the living room watching TV). It's very easy to eat too much when bored or distracted.

 

[wenrob]

Could some kids just have a slower metabolism than others? If your kid doesn't have a weight issue, should portions be controlled anyway or should they eat as much as they want? I'm really curious about this.
My son is relatively thin around 60lbs and maybe 54in tall and almost 9 and his appetite lately is really massive. He easily out eats me and sometimes an adult size portion is not enough to satisfy him.
He's fairly active and always moving around, running around, etc.

They should be taught to listen to their body and pay attention to hunger cues. Somewhere along the way being stuffed has been equated with being "full." You should feel satiated and not hungry anymore, not necessarily full. My son is eleven and a half and is starting to eat like a teenage boy. It's shocking the amount of food he can put away in one meal but he also self moderates. He may eat an entire avocado, a large quesadilla and two glasses of whole milk for dinner but he'll forgo dessert later and may only have a plain normal size waffle for breakfast the next day. My husband is the same. He will eat a HUGE dinner but won't eat anything else the rest of the day. He's what people would call naturally thin but really what keeps him thin is he only eats when he's hungry and stops eating when he's had enough.

If your son is active and not gaining excess weight I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[bushdianee]

My sister is dealing with this with my 7yo niece. A few months ago she weighed 90lbs at the doctor'soffice. She is a very active child who dance lessons as well as figure skating lessons. She has some type of lesson almost every day. She also doesn't sit still except at school! Both parents as well as her brother and most of the extended family struggle with obesity. My sister had the doctor talked to her about eating healthier and being able to keep up with her activities as she was starting to complain of being short of breath and struggling to keep up in PE and dance.
She has done great and is down at least one size in clothing. My sister doesn't weigh her at home and tries not to talk about losing weight but rather about making healthier choices. She can eat all of the fresh veggies and fruit she wants and has things like hard boiled eggs or nuts after school rather than a half sandwich. She can have 1 "treat" a day most days. That helps when kids bring birthday treats to school. She is very good about telling her mom know if she had a cupcake or cookie at school. She is looking and feeling much better. Her brother however has the same options but is not active at all. He has a chromosomal disorder and is always hungry no matter what/how much he eats.

 

[mom2gs]

Thanks guys for all of the responses! As I'm reading over them, I realize that besides portion size, we are already on track with a lot of the other things. I could increase her activity level (shes already tried karate, dance, gymnastics) so that will be the next step. Just looking at her body and knowing her allergies (blood test when she was 1), I'm really wondering if it's not some kind of actual medical issue. We are going on vacation in a few weeks and I want to keep an eye on whether she is eating when she's hungry or eating when she's bored. I did tell the kids tonight that we will be cutting out bedtime snack when we get home from vacation. We don't have dessert after dinner and when my oldest was much younger, I found bedtime snack was needed to keep her in bed. Now the youngest needs to have food before bed or she's up at night but I can wait to feed her until the older 2 are in bed (so the middle one doesn't see a snack and need a snack). We've started doing a walk (or bike ride, she started riding around the block today!) in the evening so I'm not sure how adding a walk and taking away the snack afterwards is going to play out. We went through her clothes today and some of her favorites don't fit anymore, just around the belly. I haven't said anything to her about her weight but I'm thinking that the missing clothes are going to have an impact. I will try to keep everyone updated.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

If she likes the pool keep taking her there. Even playing in the pool provides exercise.