Zero Forky's Given - An August 2019 Dining Report - Completed 8/18

[buzzrelly]

I'm still shocked it hasn't ended up as someones avatar!!!

Only because I hadn’t thought of it!

 

[kastoney]

Only because I hadn’t thought of it!

And there it is!!!! Why I put this out into the universe is beyond me

 

[ariane37]

I feel like mullet lady beats CG tablecloth patron? What say you?

That STINKS about Kona We only had breakfast there once and weren't impressed and this review does not in any way make me want to try it again!

 

[luvpoohandcompany]

Ok I thought your dinner was bad but Kona breakfast looks horrendous. All I could think of when I looked at Jason’s plate was boke
I’ve often thought I’d like to do EMH but I’ve never actually made it and now I’m thinking I’ll never bother- not with those wait times.
Glad you managed to have some fun at MK and consume some deliciousness in the form of dole whip yumminess
Casey as always is a wee character and now I’m looking forward to cartwheels and castles ( & tablecloth wearing guests ).

 

[nco91590]

She is VERRRRRRRRRY busy.

 

[Wood Nymph]

This “breakfast” at Kona was the single worst meal we’ve ever had at Disney. We’ve always had horrible service there but we’ve been able to overlook it in the name of good food. No more as this will forever be known as the meal where Zero Forky’s Were Given.

They should be ashamed of themselves for serving food like this. People who work there must know it is horrible, yet they still serve it.

Now with all our culinary catastrophes we should have complained, but our server was nowhere to be found and we just wanted to cut our losses and high tail it out of there.

We have felt that way at restaurants, especially when the service was so slow that complaining would just make the pain and suffering continue. Kona has been off our list for a very long time due to slow service, mediocre food, and the annoying location that is noisy and cold. It is like eating in an airport terminal. We have also taken GF Cafe off our list for slow service every time we have eaten there. One time my husband was served rock hard pancakes and he had to track down the server to get some fresh ones. It was not a good way to start off the day.

Clearly our horrible breakfast was really impacting Casey's mood.

She seems to be having a good time. It must be the super adorable Mickey ears.

 

[Grumperella]

I'm sorry you got up so early for no rides and yucky food. And I'm sure the stress about your boy at home didn't help. But it looks like you rallied - your photos are great - especially the ones of Casey with Roy and Minnie. And I'm very impressed that she did that handstand with her ears firmly in place! Dole Whips can make almost every better!

 

[angelmav]

Well, turns out Kona sucks for both Breakfast AND Lunch. Too bad we would have worse, but we also didn't try breakfast, so apparently lunch was their A-game .

 

[ThreeBoyMama]

Oh that "food" at Kona deserved Zero Forkys for sure. Gross! We ate there for breakfast on the last day of our 2016 trip and were totally underwhelmed by the food and the service but at least what we had was edible. And didn't look like someone else had already eaten it, LOL.

 

[amazingact21]

Ouch, Kona really dropped the ball. I used to love eating there for breakfast back in 2010-2012, when they had the bounty platter. But it's gone way downhill since then. Such a shame...

Thank goodness dole whips were nearby. There's not much a good Dole Whip can't help with.

 

[Terra Nova guy]

Too bad about Kona. I have never been, but for some reason I always thought it had decent reviews, but it seems there's a lot of bad ones referenced here. Maybe I just kept hearing about the Tonga Toast and thought the place was good. Oh well, I probably wasn't getting there anyway. It's farther down on my list.

 

[kastoney]

I feel like mullet lady beats CG tablecloth patron? What say you?

That's a tough call, but I think I'm gonna have to give it to CG since a. there was a whole table of them and b. signature restaurant.

That STINKS about Kona We only had breakfast there once and weren't impressed and this review does not in any way make me want to try it again!

Are you sure about that? A bland dish that looks like someone puked on it doesn't strike your fancy? Sounds like something Chris would love to me

Ok I thought your dinner was bad but Kona breakfast looks horrendous. All I could think of when I looked at Jason’s plate was boke

Not sure what boke means but given your emoji's I think I can figure it out

I’ve often thought I’d like to do EMH but I’ve never actually made it and now I’m thinking I’ll never bother- not with those wait times.

Good call. We'll try it 3 more times this trip Epcot was the only park where we had a decent experience. Rest were just miserable

Casey as always is a wee character and now I’m looking forward to cartwheels and castles ( & tablecloth wearing guests ).

Casey is quite the little gymnast so when she realized she could showoff her skills with Disney in the background she was sold!

She is VERRRRRRRRRY busy.

CLLLLLLLLEARRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!! Why check your verizon bill or email on your phone when you can lug an entire laptop to your dining table?

They should be ashamed of themselves for serving food like this. People who work there must know it is horrible, yet they still serve it.

We've eat there a few other times and never experienced anything this bad. But to your point maybe that was why our server was no where to be found. Shame. Embarrassment. Remorse. Taste Buds

Kona has been off our list for a very long time due to slow service, mediocre food, and the annoying location that is noisy and cold. It is like eating in an airport terminal. We have also taken GF Cafe off our list for slow service every time we have eaten there. One time my husband was served rock hard pancakes and he had to track down the server to get some fresh ones. It was not a good way to start off the day.

You are so right with the airport terminal. Its like there was just some space leftover in the lobby and they decided to put some chairs down and call it a restaurant. We've had good luck at GF so far, but I can see why its off your list.

I'm sorry you got up so early for no rides and yucky food. And I'm sure the stress about your boy at home didn't help. But it looks like you rallied - your photos are great - especially the ones of Casey with Roy and Minnie. And I'm very impressed that she did that handstand with her ears firmly in place! Dole Whips can make almost every better!

Dole Whips most certainly make everything better. All the doggie drama was certainly helping nothing but breakfast was just plain bad. Thankfully we'd kept Casey oblivious to the dog issues up to this point so her infectious joy is all sorts of real.

Well, turns out Kona sucks for both Breakfast AND Lunch. Too bad we would have worse, but we also didn't try breakfast, so apparently lunch was their A-game .

Let's just say it just sucks period and call it a day. After both of our experiences its definitely off the list for good.

Oh that "food" at Kona deserved Zero Forkys for sure. Gross! We ate there for breakfast on the last day of our 2016 trip and were totally underwhelmed by the food and the service but at least what we had was edible. And didn't look like someone else had already eaten it, LOL.

"Food" is being polite. But then again who really needs food to be edible. We've been underwhelmed by the service since the first time we ate there but the breakfast always kept us coming back. No more!

Ouch, Kona really dropped the ball. I used to love eating there for breakfast back in 2010-2012, when they had the bounty platter. But it's gone way downhill since then. Such a shame...

More dropped the ball, put no salt on it, and then served it with a like substance on top

Thank goodness dole whips were nearby. There's not much a good Dole Whip can't help with.

You've got that right. When in doubt whip, whip it good

Too bad about Kona. I have never been, but for some reason I always thought it had decent reviews, but it seems there's a lot of bad ones referenced here. Maybe I just kept hearing about the Tonga Toast and thought the place was good. Oh well, I probably wasn't getting there anyway. It's farther down on my list.

I'm pretty sure you can attribute at least some of those decent reviews to me, but this certainly brought that to an end. I wasn't a huge Tonga Toast fan but we've always enjoyed the pancakes and their takes on benedicts. So good news is you escaped either way. Consider yourself lucky

 

[DLo]

I am just hoping that is the end of the worst ? Especially disappointing when you had good experiences before .

 

[Jenny Sanders]

I feel like mullet lady beats CG tablecloth patron? What say you?

I know, right!!!!! I am going to totally be on the lookout for crazy people in January!!!!!

 

[NJlauren]

I have read this no less then 5 times.. and quoted it and got distracted looking up how I can replicate the amazingness of this meal!
Finally time for comments!

he bus was full when it got to us, which should have been a sign, but eventually we made it to MGM only to discover that “magic” equated to a 60 minute wait for Toy Story, 45 minutes for Alien Saucer Spin, and 25 for Star Tours. Definitely "extra" but not the extra we were expecting.

So we apparently got up early to do this

And buy this.

ugh just not how you want to start your day or trip or anything! Crowded busses suck, and long waits stink especially during EMH, I am always thankful I’ve been before and will be back and few for the people who feel like they need to wOt

welcome to your local starbucks where the only thing worse is if she was watching a movie or playing a game with the sound on with our headphones!

We’d had this before and always liked it but this was so bitter that all the splenda in the world couldn’t save it.

Ugh bad coffee worst! Bet you wish you were at Starbucks now!

Now what soggy French Toast has to do with Minnie I will never know, but Casey’s descriptor that this was “wet” really says it all. She did get some sausage and bacon on the side that she was happy with.

I am so not into French toast and I think Casey hit why! I never knew how to explain it but that’s it, it’s always to wet!

Sadly a cute alliterative name was doing this Samoan no favors. One of my eggs was undercooked with runny whites and the other apparently came hard boiled. The “hash” should have just taken a queue from forky and called itself “trash” because it was a nasty mixture of undercooked potatoes and meat so dry it was more like jerky. I did of course like the arugula and the citrus hollandaise was good but there was no saving the rest of this. Every Samoan and the entire Seven Seas should be seriously offended by this one.

Ugh! But I love good salmon! Why do they need to mess it up!

The piece de resistance. The Tour de Force. The Treasure of the Polynesian. Ladies and gentleman please meet the dish my husband called the worst thing ever served on Disney property (and he even ate at Chef Mickey’s once), the one, the only……Loco Moco.

Hahah dying just dying

This “breakfast” at Kona was the single worst meal we’ve ever had at Disney. We’ve always had horrible service there but we’ve been able to overlook it in the name of good food. No more as this will forever be known as the meal where Zero Forky’s Were Given.

Wow, I guess this is not going to be on our poly stay coming up!

We eventually made it to the Kingdom of Magic where we drowned our dining and dog sorrows in a couple of Dole Whips

Haha looks like you made a great recovery here with good snacks and amazing ride photos! Love!!!

 

[followthatmouse]

Okay, sorry I'm so late to your latest shindig! I'll catch my breath for a moment before replying to Kona's appalling, abysmal, baffling bad breakfast...

Wow, just wow. It has been a number of years since we dined at Kona. But for a time it was a cherished family tradition for the Sundays of any stay. We found it realiably comforting. Of course, this was in the day's of Noah's childhood before the flood and well before magic bands were a gleam in Mickey's eye. The decline is sad. At least I have my memories!

I heartily approve of your fella's t-shirt, though. We need more Orange Bird in our lives!

 

[kastoney]

I am just hoping that is the end of the worst ? Especially disappointing when you had good experiences before .

It is thankfully the end of the worst. Thankfully we got all the bad stuff out of the way early

I know, right!!!!! I am going to totally be on the lookout for crazy people in January!!!!!

You'll have to look a little harder since yours truly won't be along

I have read this no less then 5 times.. and quoted it and got distracted looking up how I can replicate the amazingness of this meal!

It would be a tough meal to replicate. I mean how can one really ensure 3 horrible meals are served next to the world largest computer. But I have faith, trust and pixie dust that it could be done

welcome to your local starbucks where the only thing worse is if she was watching a movie or playing a game with the sound on with our headphones!

That would be worse but I understand this is more of the norm at Starbucks. Bringing your laptop to the table at a restaurant. Now that was a first for me!

Ugh bad coffee worst! Bet you wish you were at Starbucks now!

I am so not into French toast and I think Casey hit why! I never knew how to explain it but that’s it, it’s always to wet!

I'm so with you. I'm really not a fan of breakfast period but if I do what it I certainly don't want it wet.

Wow, I guess this is not going to be on our poly stay coming up!

Are you sure???? And more importantly POLY!!!!! How exciting

Okay, sorry I'm so late to your latest shindig! I'll catch my breath for a moment before replying to Kona's appalling, abysmal, baffling bad breakfast...

Late to the party but you clearly missed nothing at all. Good news is it only gets better from here.

Wow, just wow. It has been a number of years since we dined at Kona. But for a time it was a cherished family tradition for the Sundays of any stay. We found it realiably comforting. Of course, this was in the day's of Noah's childhood before the flood and well before magic bands were a gleam in Mickey's eye. The decline is sad. At least I have my memories!

We were fans too and that was after Magic Bands. But this was just so bad no chance we'll be back.

I heartily approve of your fella's t-shirt, though. We need more Orange Bird in our lives!

Cheers to that!!!! We're a bit of a weird family where we love Orange Bird but not the citrus swirl. But oh orange bird. I actually picked up an orange bird sweatshirt on this trip!

 

[thumper*]

Boy does that Kona Cafe breaky sound horrible, so sorry.

Casey is so cute.

 

[Tracy161]

We were actually kicking ourselves when I got pregnant and we didn't save the name Mallory for Casey. Oh well. Duval was almost Truman (which would have fit his personality better) and we may still use that one if we get another dog.

Mallory would have been a great name for Casey. But Casey is so... Casey. So I think you still found a winning name Truman is another great idea!

I know right? Ya know its early when I wasn't even drinking yet

My thoughts exactly

I have no pointers, just hit the kid lottery

You really did

I'm Trash

I think to have gotten through that morning, "I'm Trashed" would have been preferable.

I did however have an awesome view of this lady who was not only rocking a mullet but insisted on showing off her big table by using the worlds largest laptop and mouse.

To the delight of her dining partner I see.

Fearful they may try and pillage me purse just for @buzzrelly I recreated the worst ride photo of all time.

I need to share my favorite ride photo of all time... also on PotC. My buddy Rebecca and I hit up Pirates at MNNSHP. The gentleman behind me was having a coughing fit and - horrifyingly - I could feel the... um, spray, on my neck. I turned to my friend and whispered "did you get some?" and she replied "was there some?!" After a thorough anti-bacterial shower immediately after the ride, we found it hilarious. But after a real shower and checking the ride photo the next day, the exact moment of the question and ensuing look of horror was captured for posterity on the ride photo. Every once and a while one of us will text the other "was there some?!"

 

[ncc1701]

Glad to read in your replies that the food will improve. Kona was not the restaurant I thought would get Zero Forkys. The only thing that looked good was Casey's bacon & sausage. I thought about doing Kona for lunch or a late breakfast after my last Mani/pedicure at the Grand Floridian Spa and am glad I stuck with the GF Cafe.
At least your Dole Whips were good.