Moms with boys, bathroom question

[maxiesmom]

If I take my son with me to the bathroom he either goes in the stall with me OR he knows not to peek and stands outside my stall door facing away from the stalls.

How on earth is he any safer standing outside of your stall than he is standing another 25 feet away, outside of the restroom? Do you think that someone couldn't grab him and be gone before you knew it?

False security.

Btw, if your son peeked at me through the stall door, you wouldn't be laughing for long. If you are not worried about your modesty, take him in the stall with you, and let the rest of us have our privacy.

 

[disneywalkers]

Have you been reading my replies at all?

I never said I was worried about someone grabbing him. In fact, I specifically said I'm not worried about him being kidnapped. Goodness!


IF he is standing outside my stall while I go to the bathroom and again I say IF (in case you didn't get that the first THREE times cause that is a big IF, usually he is in there with me), he is standing there facing out so I can see his feet. So I know he hasn't wandered off to pull the sword out of the stone or whatever.

"Not directed at any one in particular"
I think your worries over privacy issues are overrated as it's a public bathroom and there are tons of women in and out and often the cracks in the stalls are so thick everyone sees your bum anyway.

I don't think anything wrong with you having your 6 year old go to the men's room. Or even your 3 year old. I don't care what you do with your kid.

I do think that if you're going to take the boy into the bathroom with you that he be taught how to behave properly. I've done that with my son. I am betting you would never know he was ever in the bathroom. So maybe instead of making such a big deal about a 5-6 year old boy being there at all, maybe make a big deal out of Mom's not making sure they know how to behave properly.

How on earth is he any safer standing outside of your stall than he is standing another 25 feet away, outside of the restroom? Do you think that someone couldn't grab him and be gone before you knew it?

False security.

 

[Gracie09]

Have you been reading my replies at all?

I never said I was worried about someone grabbing him. In fact, I specifically said I'm not worried about him being kidnapped. Goodness!


IF he is standing outside my stall while I go to the bathroom and again I say IF (in case you didn't get that the first THREE times cause that is a big IF, usually he is in there with me), he is standing there facing out so I can see his feet. So I know he hasn't wandered off to pull the sword out of the stone or whatever.

"Not directed at any one in particular"
I think your worries over privacy issues are overrated as it's a public bathroom and there are tons of women in and out and often the cracks in the stalls are so thick everyone sees your bum anyway.

I don't think anything wrong with you having your 6 year old go to the men's room. Or even your 3 year old. I don't care what you do with your kid.

I do think that if you're going to take the boy into the bathroom with you that he be taught how to behave properly. I've done that with my son. I am betting you would never know he was ever in the bathroom. So maybe instead of making such a big deal about a 5-6 year old boy being there at all, maybe make a big deal out of Mom's not making sure they know how to behave properly.

You know he could just walk away from you door and there is absolutely nothing you could do about it while you're in there with your pants around your ankles. And at 6 they tend to be pretty curious.

 

[powellrj]

Nobody is making a big deal about 5 and 6 year old boys in the womens restroom. Its the 10 and 11 year olds that people have a problem with. There was a thread a few days ago about the ages people let their kids do things and I was amazed at how many people leave their kids alone at 10 or 11 because when you read the boys in the bathroom threads we see people afraid to let their kids this age go to the restroom alone.

FWIW, my kids stayed home alone at 10 or 11, so no, I didn't take them to the restroom with me once they reached school age.

 

[mom2rtk]

Nobody is making a big deal about 5 and 6 year old boys in the womens restroom. Its the 10 and 11 year olds that people have a problem with. There was a thread a few days ago about the ages people let their kids do things and I was amazed at how many people leave their kids alone at 10 or 11 because when you read the boys in the bathroom threads we see people afraid to let their kids this age go to the restroom alone.

FWIW, my kids stayed home alone at 10 or 11, so no, I didn't take them to the restroom with me once they reached school age.

Agreed.

I didn't take my boys into the ladies room after they reached school age. They would have thought I'd lost my marbles. Still, I don't have any problem with younger grade school boys in there. But once they hit 9 or 10 that's just too old. And it's more about mom's insecurity than a boy's perceived "safety" (barring special needs).

 

[disneywalkers]

Yep, very true.

But it is less likely cause he has me there talking to him usually and that is again IF that is how it goes. Most of the time he goes with his Daddy.

You know he could just walk away from you door and there is absolutely nothing you could do about it while you're in there with your pants around your ankles. And at 6 they tend to be pretty curious.

 

[disneywalkers]

Yes I agree, that's too old to take to the women's bathroom.

Nobody is making a big deal about 5 and 6 year old boys in the womens restroom. Its the 10 and 11 year olds that people have a problem with. There was a thread a few days ago about the ages people let their kids do things and I was amazed at how many people leave their kids alone at 10 or 11 because when you read the boys in the bathroom threads we see people afraid to let their kids this age go to the restroom alone.

FWIW, my kids stayed home alone at 10 or 11, so no, I didn't take them to the restroom with me once they reached school age.

 

[minnie mum]

I read an article once about the amount of kidnappings that occur in Disney every year that never make the news-I bring my boys in with me & I don't care who doesn't like it.

You actually believe everything that you read on the internet? You actually checked that this article came from a credible source? If so, I know of some prime waterfront real estate in Orlando that you might be interested in. I can send you a link to the article if you like.

And I'm glad that you are so secure in your parenting that you would sacrifice anything so trivial as courtesty and respect for your fellow guests. Just how old will these boys be before you stop taking them into the ladies room? Do you bring both of these boys into the stall with you? And may I ask why you are dragging them into the ladies room when you could all be using the companion bathrooms, rendering this whole discussion moot?

 

[meggiebeth]

I took my brother with me into the ladies bathroom until he was just 7 or thereabouts. He would come in the stall with me and was very well behaved. I just didn't feel comfortable leaving him outside when he was in my care. Perhaps my mother would have been more comfortable but I just didn't want to risk anything happening to him.

He's 8 now and would likely outright refuse to go into the ladies toilets if I asked him. If there's a disabled toilet (companion bathroom?) we use that, but if not, I do put him in the men's and vigilantly watch the door. Sometimes, you hear him whistling from outside, which is both a little embarrassing but comforting as you know he is still there!

For the record- I would feel uncomfortable and somewhat disapproving of a nine or ten year old in the women's bathroom. At that age, they are more interested in girls and far more outgoing. A six year old is far more oblivious in comparison.

Meg~ Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[WantToGoNow]

We went to the drive in Friday night. My dd9 took her best friend with her. My ds12 went to the men's room and the rest of us went to the ladies restroom. There was a poor, very embarrassed boy in there that was the exact size of my dd. The girls smiled and spoke to the boy and he ran out of the restroom. His mom came out of the stall and noticed he wasn't there and walked out without even stopping at the sink. The boy was standing right outside the door. The mom tried to drag him back in - probably so she could wash her hands. He was having none of that. The girls smiled at him again as we walked by and you could see he was quite embarrassed - I'm guessing maybe they knew him from school. I told them that he wasn't in there because he wanted to be but he was made to.

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't care what numbers say or what the statistics are I will never take a chance with my childrens lives. Not worth the risk to me.

I always look for the companion bathrooms so we can take all the kids in. I have older boys with special needs and have to keep an eye on them. Of course is DH is with me we take turns. Unless everyone has to go then we find the companion and everyone goes. If not we would be making 20 trips to the bathroom.

You are talking about a situation that does not pertain to this discussion. Not one person has suggested that children with special needs should be abandoned to their own care. No. We are asking that common sense and courtesy be displayed when mothers insist on taking older boys into the ladies room.

I'm honestly not worried about kidnapping. I'm worried about a child getting lost and ruining the entire trip.

I can't imagine a child getting kidnapped at Disney and not hearing about it though.

But I do know that kids get lost all the time there. And I just don't want it to be my kid cause that would be very scary. Mostly for me, LOL. The kid might get scared but often they don't even realize they are lost per say, they are just distracted ya know.

But for me, it would ruin the whole trip and might even taint WDW for my husband and I.

If you've never "lost" a kid you may not understand how really terrible that feeling is...

As far as when I let my older boy start going to the men's room by himself, now that he is 15 (he as Asperger's), I honestly don't remember the exact age. I am guessing 8, but really it might have been 7. But honestly I don't remember and I don't think it was 6, but it could've been, but not at Disney, I doubt I let him go at 6 at Disney by himself. But I also doubt I had to, cause my husband was always there.

I have another 6 year old right now. He doesn't have Asperger's as far as we can tell. But, I still feel more comfortable having him with me when I go to the bathroom in certain places. Not everywhere. Not every time, but at Disney I prefer it. Fortunately though my husband is there and my Dad goes with us every year, so I don't think he's ever been in the women's bathroom there unless it was when he was still in diapers, ROTFL. Or when he was very messy at dinner and knew Dad wouldn't clean his awesome Mickey shirt up to my standards. Last year he was 5, this year he is 6. IF faced with having to take him with me cause his Dad and Grandpa are elsewhere, I'm taking him with me. That's just how it is.

The thing is, this thread asked a specific question about how you feel, your opinion about whether or not you feel 6 is too old to be taking a boy with Mom to the bathroom. It didn't ask you to JUDGE other people on whether or not they are wrong in THEIR choice (last I heard, this was a free world and we do still, at this time, some control over what we do with our kids), to take or not to take their 6 year old boy to the bathroom with them.

So what does it matter how old my boys were???? Oh right, it's cause there are so many judging people who would rather turn this thread into "ohh you're a controlling hovering Mom", rather than keep it on track by answering the original question answered".

I think either way is fine as long as you, the Mom, the parent, are comfortable with it. We only have our children for a short time, yes, it's our job to teach them, to mold them, to protect them, to do what we as a parent feel is right for them.

But let me say, my privacy, or my teen daughter's privacy in the bathroom is _not_ more important than the loss of your son. Even if that is a temporary 5 minute or less "loss".

I'd rather see a little boy, just being silly, nothing sexual, peek through my stall cracks, than to walk out the bathroom and see you frantic because your son used the men's room while you were in the ladies room and when he walked out he saw something rolling in the wind down Mainstreet and decided to chase it and now you can't find him. I've been on both sides. The side of that Mom and the side of the witness to someone frantically looking for their kid.
.

If you are worried about wandering kids, you might consider teaching the kids what to do in the event that they are separated from you.

And FWIW, I do have a problem with "silly boys" peeking through the cracks in the room designated for women. My DGD would as well. If your teen daughter is okay with that, she can take her "silly little" brother into the stall with her.

I am a pretty considerate woman, I understand parents cannot always manage to send kids into the bathroom unaccompanied for a variety of reasons, but I believe that if a parent is really worried about the safety of their child, take that child into the stall with you. Not one of you has been able to explain how you will save your child from a stranger abduction if you are locked in the stall, pants drooping on the floor. The little wanderer has the same opportunity to meander off if he is not parked by your side in the stall.

So what I can see is that there are parents who are willing to sacrifice someone else's right to modesty and comfort in the bathroom that has been designated to their gender, in order to create a sense of safety that in reality, does not exist.

 

[Alexle2007]

I have a DS6 and he refuses to go into the women's room and only uses the men's room. I did have to remember to tell him about bath etiquette at urinals. He skipped a grade this year and will be going into 2nd grade so I try to be mindful that he will want be doing what his classmates are doing. Luckily, he knows that he is to stand outside the restroom and wait when he is finished his business or just waiting for me to finish mine.

 

[dvczerfs]

I have a DS6 and he refuses to go into the women's room and only uses the men's room. I did have to remember to tell him about bath etiquette at urinals. He skipped a grade this year and will be going into 2nd grade so I try to be mindful that he will want be doing what his classmates are doing. Luckily, he knows that he is to stand outside the restroom and wait when he is finished his business or just waiting for me to finish mine.

I have a question. I don't know how to ask this I don't want to offend anyone. (reading some of these post, I'm thinking offending is off the table.) but.............

are you a male or a female? just wondering because of the reminding him of urinal etiquette.

i was also wondering how many of these moms been into a mens room (or as this thread calls them, deep dark chambers of perverts) at wdw?

if you think boys in womens restroom makes you feel uneasy, think of the men when your husband has to march your little princess by a row of urinals ( unlike a womens room, urinals are in the open) while they are being "used".

 

[FrugalFashionista]

I have a question. I don't know how to ask this I don't want to offend anyone. (reading some of these post, I'm thinking offending is off the table.) but.............

are you a male or a female? just wondering because of the reminding him of urinal etiquette.

i was also wondering how many of these moms been into a mens room (or as this thread calls them, deep dark chambers of perverts) at wdw?

if you think boys in womens restroom makes you feel uneasy, think of the men when your husband has to march your little princess by a row of urinals ( unlike a womens room, urinals are in the open) while they are being "used".

ROFL my husband was mortified the first time he had to take our daughter into the men's room with him! She was 4 and were having a daddy daughter day. He said he put her jacket on her backwards so the hood covered her face. I think he is still scarred and she doesn't remember it.

 

[Mama Who]

And FWIW, I do have a problem with "silly boys" peeking through the cracks in the room designated for women. My DGD would as well. If your teen daughter is okay with that, she can take her "silly little" brother into the stall with her.

Ditto. I deserved not to have the badly brought up 9 year old pervert peeping at me because his incompetent and inconsiderate mother left him running around unattended in the ladies room. Oh, the tantrum she threw when I yelled at her little peeping tom was epic. Apparently she could not fathom why I might not want her nasty offspring staring at my privates.

It is not "silly" to expect a fundamental level of privacy in a single-gender restroom.

 

[dvczerfs]

ROFL my husband was mortified the first time he had to take our daughter into the men's room with him! She was 4 and were having a daddy daughter day. He said he put her jacket on her backwards so the hood covered her face. I think he is still scarred and she doesn't remember it.

mens room rules:

#1 - no talking ( its not a meeting hall )

#2 - eyes forward.

#3 - no loitering.

men don't even make eye contact with each other in a mens room much less talk about what some guys choice of footwear.

you can have 20 men in the restroom and you could hear a pin drop.

I am not familiar with the security of wdw but I recall on one of the keys to the kingdom tour, the guide talking about there are not to many places you are not seen or very near to wdw security. security may have a uniform it may not. it may have eyes or ears.

I think if someone really wanted to swipe your kid, a restroom with one exit in a crowded park filled with families and cameras etc.... wouldn't be the place to do it. not that it couldn't happen. ive seen a guy head for the door at a boscovs with 42 inch flat screen on Christmas eve. people will try any thing.

 

[Granny square]

I don't care what numbers say or what the statistics are I will never take a chance with my childrens lives. Not worth the risk to me.

I always look for the companion bathrooms so we can take all the kids in. I have older boys with special needs and have to keep an eye on them. Of course is DH is with me we take turns. Unless everyone has to go then we find the companion and everyone goes. If not we would be making 20 trips to the bathroom.

You drive with them everyday. You risk their lives every time. Uncle "Fred" is far more likely to victimize your child.

Facts. Why do you want to hold on to fallacies?

 

[JosieMouse]

Assuming you mean at WDW. My 6 year old goes with me if we are alone. Always with the guys if they are along. This topic gets ugly fast so be prepared. We have been to the parks many times and we have seen guys older than 6 in the women's bathroom many times. A bigger issue is when you have to go and take the 3 year as well. Where will he be during that time? My suggestion at 6 is for you all to go together but be sure you son knows proper bathroom manners and stands where you tell him too and is not peeping through cracks in doors etc.

I agree.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

So it is all about you. Phooey on everyone else, their lives, their fears.

But you are saying the same thing, that your girls needs are more important and too bad, so sad if someone has a concern for their sons.
That being said, I just want to say I completely understand giving girls their privacy when at all possible. I have DS(7) autism spectrum, DS(5) and DS(3) and I always try to use "family" restrooms first if DH is not with me. If they come in with me, honestly, they are in the stall longer than I am anyway. There are times, however, when someone has to go quickly and there is no way we would make it to one however, or there just is not one available. On top of that my 7 year old on the autism spectrum does not appear to have any special needs and is tall for his age, so I am starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable. However. DS7 has very high anxiety and I am not sure if he will ready yet to go in by himself by the time we go to WDW. I am hoping that my 5 year old will be ready enough and talk him into it...and I'd feel better with both of them having a buddy. I am also going to try the whistle idea someone brought up.
But I digress. My point is, all of this is going to depend on the child and situation involved. There is no right or wrong age to put on this and we should not judge others, either way, for doing what is best for their family. When a slightly older boy does need to be brought into the ladies room, all steps should be taken to respect anyone else in there so no one is uncomfortable.
We all just need to be considerate of others needs, whether that be privacy in the bathroom or keeping our sons safe.

 

[Mom2six]

Then feel free to sacrifice your teen daughter's privacy all you want. But don't sacrifice mine. Because that's what it comes down to.

And nobody will have to worry about your little boys peeking through the cracks by the doors if you just take them in the stall with you. Safety after all is absolutely paramount. And they would absolutely be safest in there with you.

How many 6 year old boys are running around peeking in stalls and why would that bother you anymore than a strange little girl looking in your stall. In several decades of using the restroom at a large variety of places I have never once had a child put his or her eye up to the crack in the door. Please people be realistic!

Not to you in particular, but if you are all worried about little boys having some kind of sexual thoughts about you peeing you have a lot bigger problems than a child being in a restroom .... And if it is just privacy then it would not matter if it was a six year old boy or a girl watching you.

It may also be an opportunity to teach your daughters that the world is really not paying attention to them. The bathrooms are so huge and there are so many people in them that the 11 year olds calling to their mom for help with her period will be embarrassed to say it out loud in front of a room full of strangers and it won't matter if there is a boy in there, especially a little boy who does not even know about a period! I have four daughters and not one of them would complain about a 6, 7 year old in the bathroom. 9 is really pushing it to silliness if not disabled. Even my ds14 who has mild autism was out of the women's room before 8.