So even though I am staying at Saratoga Springs and the Poly next week with Nannette, Dee and JanetMom I wanted to run my resort plan by our faithful BC/YC readers.
In light of all heck braking out about the new dog policy, the bed bugs and fleas AND dander, dander EVERYWHERE I thought that I better develop a fool proof plan for when I encounter ̶ ̶H̶y̶s̶t̶e̶r̶i̶c̶a̶l̶ ̶ concerned people from the Dis Boards at WDW.
I think everyone knows that we are making Dee bring Rodger the (service) Donkey down for our trip. (He's flying Southwest don't ya know...) Since no threads have appeared on the Dis Boards complaining about "service donkeys" yet I think we are in the clear from a public shaming by Dis Board readers. Does anyone know if Donkeys have dander? I would ask Rodger myself when I see him on Wednesday but that's an embarrassing question and Rodger doesn't talk... at least not in English.
From what I've heard, Rodger comes with a giant shovel, so scooping the poop won't be a problem. Maybe we can get him to wear a diaper like that Donkey pulling that cart in Epcot's Italy. I'm sure Disney can use some of Rodger's 'productions', what with flower and garden coming up, so chalk up a mark in the win column on that one. I'm not sure if he smokes but from what I've heard the pet relief areas are near the smoking areas. It will be a bummer for the smokers when we walk Rodger, especially after chilli night. Ya just can't keep that donkey away from those beans...
You'll probably hear us coming before you smell us coming because I've wired the donkey cart we are going to be using with 100 watt speakers. I put a recording of "WATCH THE TRAM CAR PLEASE, WATCH THE TRAM CAR!!!!!" on my ipod so that people will get out of my way. This should especially be handy doing the rope drop run for Flights of Passage at Pandora in the morning. If they need a little more persuading I'm not above flinging some of Rodger's "productions" at them to motivate cooperative behavior.
Now we move on to the latest ̶ ̶h̶y̶s̶t̶e̶r̶i̶a̶ concern and that would be Bed Bug dogs. I'm thinking that all those people that are having a conniption about dogs in the resorts would be mighty happy to see fluffy the chubby beagle nosing around the resort protecting them from the dreaded bed bug. Is fluffy wrapped in plastic wrap to keep his dander from falling off? Perhaps a little doggy space suit with extra room for a chubby beagle (is there any other kind???) would be appropriate.
Then we have to consider if Bed Bugs drop dander and how many people are allergic to that! I guess now we are wrapping the individual bed bugs in plastic wrap to keep their dander from falling off. Recent reports indicated that there were seventy teen hundred bed bugs so that is a lot of plastic wrap. I hope housekeeping shops at the warehouse clubs and gets the double gigantic roll.
Just to be safe I'm going to invest in a rented Bed Bug sniffing beagle and park him on top of Rodger the Donkey. I'm thinking Stroller rentals.com will probably have Bed bug beagles in stock, beagle space suits extra...
So to finish, if you see 3 drunk women and me in a donkey cart, clopping through Epcot with a 'service' sniffing beagle on top of a donkey be sure to say Hi! We promise not to dander you or fling a Rodger 'production' your way *(depending upon just how drunk we are) We also will allow the Beagle to provide you with a complimentary sniff down just in case you might be harboring little fugitives in your unmentionables.
...And that's why they call them service animals!
~NM