A few weeks ago,
one of my readers
(you know who you are.
I won't identify you,
but feel free to identify yourself.)
asked me for my address.
And you gave me 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Har har.
Not willing to risk life and limb,
I had one of the kids open it for me.
Solid plan. I use that one, too.
When I thanked the sender,
I was told:
"Penguin? I thought it was another Marvin!"
I can kinda see the resemblance.
I'm thinking that might be the last I receive, though.
Considering the price to ship the contents
was approximately five times that of the gift.
I don't know when exactly Canada became Siberia.
Did you know there's a Harley Davidson
just a five minute drive
from where we were staying?
I'm shocked!
Shocked it was so far from you, anyway. You usually plan those things better.
Now this stranger, whom I'd just met,
not only told me which floor to get out on,
(which just happened to be the floor that
I'd been on.)
but also walked me to the parking exit,
and then to the escalator,
with directions that the store
was "just to the left"
at the bottom of the escalator.
There are in fact,
decent people in the world.
And then he asked you for a tip.
Just kidding. Glad you could find a kind-hearted soul.
I arrived at the Harley store and........
Of course.
It didn't open until 11:00.
And we'd have to be gone
before that.
These Harley stores have really weird hours.
Today we were going to visit
the historic Queen Mary,
which just happens to be
permanently moored
in Long Beach.
I'd forgotten that was out there. Cool attraction!
I booked the tour for March 31st
and paid the non-refundable fee in full.
I feel like that non-refundable part is going to come back to bite you.
Perhaps the early mornings or
maybe the long days had taken their toll.
Kay snapped back.
"I can't go faster. You're ruining this trip!"
I started to tell her that I had let her pick the time,
(12:15pm) and the tour, but shut my mouth.
Oh my. 12:15! You are such a slave driver.
She informed me that there was no tour
at that time.
Um...why did you sell it to me, then?
I turned to Kay.
"What do you want?"
"I dunno."
"Well, it's your birthday trip. You can pick."
"No, you pick."
"Well, would you rather go on the earlier
tour or the later tour?"
"I dunno."
"Well, pick one."
"No. You pick."
"Do you want the Haunted tour?"
"Doesn't matter."
"How about the Historical tour?"
"Doesn't matter!"
"Well, the Historical tour
is the one you originally picked.
So do you want to do that one?"
"I don't care. Sure."
Well... That was only intensely painful.
This sounds like having a conversation with Drew.
"Do you want waffles or a Pop Tart for breakfast?"
"Um...I want a Pop Tart."
(opens wrapper, toasts Pop Tart)
"NO! I want waffles!"
There was an area that was obviously
off limits to guests.
I went in anyways.
If they really wanted to keep us out,
they would've posted a "Keep Out" sign
or locked the doors, right?
Such a rebel.
I leaned out and spotted
another tourist attraction.
A Russian diesel-electric submarine.
It was commissioned in 1971
and ran until 1994.
It was sold to Australian businessmen
who displayed it until 1998 and then
moved it to Long Beach.
Cool. Looks like it's seen better days, though.
Admit it.
You were hoping I really had
fallen in the water, weren't you.
Bonus points if you say
whether you were or not.
That looks like it would be painful/fatal. I would never, ever wish injury on anyone.
But if I knew you'd be ok? Absolutely! Comedy gold!
I took this next shot as an
homage to my late MIL.
She used to be a switchboard
operator at a local hospital.
Neat. I bet that was a busy job.
I assume she said "yes" as they
were soon embracing.
Grinning, we left the lovers
to their happy event.
As we passed out of sight,
I gave the man a "thumbs up"
Grinning, he returned the gesture.
As we were poking around,
the Haunted tour happened
to arrive.
We listened in for a bit.
Kay said. "I wanted to do the Haunted tour.
But you wouldn't let me!"
O.M.G.
The upshot is I didn't kill her.
I didn't want to be responsible
for yet another ghost
haunting the Queen Mary.
But it was a close thing.
Plus.... witnesses.
Probably a good call. But I know the temptation was there.
For bonus points,
how many do you recognize?
(Without Googling.)
Or, if the list is shorter,
how many did you not recognize?
All 10 of them! I could tell you about any of them, much better than I could Ariana Grande.
Oh....crap. I think I'm old.
Lots of pipes and stuff.
That's about as technical
as I get.
Whoozits and Whatsits galore!
Question.
How does one get up there???
I have no idea. But I guarantee Drew could find a way.
After this point, it was getting closer
to the time for our tour.
"Dad?" Kay asked.
"Is it okay if we skip the tour?
I think I've seen enough already."
Truth be told, I didn't mind.
Yes, I'd already paid for the tour
but I too had seen enough
and didn't feel a great need
to see it all again, with commentary.
Actually, I can see that. It's not that hard to figure out what each room is. You basically paid for admission.
Right then and there,
I decided that I had to come back,
to see the race live.
And that's just what I'll be doing
this coming April.
I've seen Indy races in Toronto,
Edmonton and the big one,
the Indianapolis 500 (twice!)
Nice! Hope it's a great time.
That's just awesome.
"First place! World's slowest restaurant!"
"Grand prize! Turtle award for slowness!"
"Governor's Tardiness award!"
Well, hey, they warned you. It's on you if you ate there after that.
There were only three or four
people in front of us.
It only took them about
20 minutes to be served.
Man, that's worse than the DMV.
I never trust crustaceans.
For bonus points,
tell me why you don't.
(Or if you do.)
Not at all. I'm with Jim Gaffigan--they move side-to-side, all shifty, like, "Oh, crap--I owe that guy money!"
Did you want to go diving?
Not sure if you've seen the following.
(*Warning* The following is a little bit graphic
and did actually happen. Be assured, however
that everyone was fine in the end.)
I do remember seeing that when it happened.
We wandered amongst the exhibits and
just happened to come across a show
that was just starting.
It was about some sort of aquatic mammal.
I didn't know if Kay wanted to watch,
but she said that she felt like we otter,
so we did.
That's it. I want my money back!
At first, I thought you had edited this to be a bunch of Marvin helmets floating around. Then I had to go back and scrutinize it carefully to make sure I could make that comment here.
We headed back to the hotel.
I had something really big planned!
Wanna know what it is?????
Sure you do!
The big plans for the night?
N O T H I N G !
Wait. I meant to say this:
Kay was pretty much done.
I was okay, but quite willing
to let her chill for an evening.
Besides, the poor child had
been away from the internet
for sooooo long!!!
Tragic.
No wonder she was so cranky that day.
Looks like Fran, Alison and Liesa
are heading out to Trader Sam's tonight.
Huh.
They reluctantly acquiesce to my constant
barrage of begging them to let me join them.
A night of good company!
I told Kay that if she got hungry,
to just order room service
and have it charged to the room.
And I was outta there!
The benefit of having a self-sufficient teenager.
Trader Sam's has an extensive menu.
Lots of different specialty drinks.
And they all have rum.
Which pkondz does not drink.
Well, there is one that doesn't have rum.
It has coconut.
pkondz does not do coconut.
Ever.
So...Coke it is.
He does however, occasionally
refer to himself in the third person.
He's a bit on an idiot, that way.
I agree with him. You. Whatever.
I ordered a glass of wine instead
and was much happier as a result.
Alison was much happier too.
She got an extra drink out of the deal.
She seems to score those quite a bit! She's a pro.
Steppesister - 875
MeghanEmily - 845
Captain_Oblivious - 840
Closing the gap!
1. Okay. Last try.
Do I manage to get
to an open Harley Store?
a. Yes
b. No
c. Just give up for God's sake!
d. Other. 'Cause there has to be an other.
The way this trip has gone, I have to go with d. Other.
2. What does Kay discover?
a. A small cat living outside our room.
b. Proof she saw Ariana Grande.
c. That she no longer gets car sick.
d. That Santa really is real.
Kay attracts furry creatures like I attract PB&J sandwiches. I'll go with a.
3. We go see an attraction. Which?
a. Hollywood sign
b. Santa Monica pier
c. La Brea Tar Pits
d. Hollywood Bowl
La Brea Tar Pits.
4. How long does it take to get there?
a. One hour
b. Two hours
c. Three hours
d. We never get there.
Two hours.
5. What time is our flight out
the next day?
a. 8:30
b. 9:30
c. 10:30
d. 11:30
11:30.
6. We have a connection.
Where is it?
a. Vancouver
b. Calgary
c. Edmonton
d. Minneapolis
Calgary
7. How long is the lay-over?
a. 1-2 hours
b. 2-3 hours
c. 3-4 hours
d. 4-5 hours
3-4 hours.
8. What time do we get home?
a. 10:30pm
b. 11:30pm
c. 12:30am
d. 1:30am
12:30 a.m.
Bonus: Did you see it?
All of them?
(Hint: Less than 5)
I'll get back to you!