wedding proposal question

[Wendy31]

I want to make a few things clear. First I do not want to be present when my son proposed. I have told him so. He insisted. After I told him about booking the cruise, he said he was going to propose then. It was his idea to propose on the cruise. Marriage proposal v. wedding proposal to me is the same thing. I do not even believe in love or marriages. I really didn't think people would pick apart my words.

I am single and I always vacation with my son (with plenty of trips to disney) and now that he has a girlfriend, she has been coming with us on trips. Her parents don't vacation.

I will be talking to my son and telling him everything that was posted. I am hoping that he decides to do the proposal elsewhere. Thank you everyone for giving me your insight.

Thank you for the additional information, & I'm sorry if you've felt attacked.

If your son really wants to propose on the cruise & feels like his girlfriend wouldn't have a problem w/ you being there - especially if you're not right there when he proposes but, instead, talking to the captain or sitting elsewhere in the boat - I think it could be a lovely setting for the proposal.

My one concern would be her parents... if they'd feel left out, since they wouldn't be there as well. But, again, I don't know all the dynamics & what kind of relationship she has w/ her parents, if your son has talked to her parents, etc.

EDITED TO ADD: And, please keep in mind, OP, that everyone is coming at this from their own experiences & perceptions & preferences. (And some people really feel defensive when it comes to mothers-in-law.) However, none of us know your son & his girlfriend & what kind of couple of they are.

 

[Marchand63]

Well it could be like mine - I'm still waiting for the proposal

MY DH went from "I don't want a steady girlfriend" to 'You know I never want to get married again" to "when we get married" to "we should plan the wedding for June" And we did. SO I am still waiting for the actual proposal after 10 years

 

[Marchand63]

And saying “well i paid for it” makes you sound incredibly immature and selfish.

I disagree. She is trying to push her way into somewhere she doesn’t belong. She needs to back off

And you sound very hostile. You need to go back and read her posts - it was her son's idea. She would prefer not to be there. I think you are projecting a bit.

 

[BLAZEY]

I disagree. She is trying to push her way into somewhere she doesn’t belong. She needs to back off

Then the son age 27 can book his OWN pontoon boat to do the proposal and let the OP have her cruise to view the fireworks.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I want to make a few things clear. First I do not want to be present when my son proposed. I have told him so. He insisted.

Well, then, I guess you go.

And see what the girlfriend does...

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd22’s bf is 27 and still lives at home with his mom, she vacations with them sometimes (bf is still in college). Dd has lived independently from us for over 3 years, at this point I hope there isn’t going to be a proposal, never mind doing it in front of his mom!

 

[Minnesota!]

OP - from my end, I would have preferred to have him propose somewhere quiet and scenic prior to the boat cruise, then call everyone after that to tell them the news and THEN take the boat cruise to celebrate. There are plenty of tranquil places in WDW - is there somewhere, something that is special to them? A bench overlooking the water, just the two of them, would be amazing - Epcot is so pretty!

Good luck!

 

[js]

Hope OP you come back and let us know what your son (and you possibly LOL) decided.

 

[Mika02]

Well it could be like mine - I'm still waiting for the proposal

MY DH went from "I don't want a steady girlfriend" to 'You know I never want to get married again" to "when we get married" to "we should plan the wedding for June" And we did. SO I am still waiting for the actual proposal after 10 years

Lol I have a feeling this would be my current boyfriend. He's a little younger then me and right now he's on a I don't want to live with anyone else stage. We're both moved past the I don't want a relationship stage and I'm past the I never want to get married again stage lol

 

[Marchand63]

Lol I have a feeling this would be my current boyfriend. He's a little younger then me and right now he's on a I don't want to live with anyone else stage. We're both moved past the I don't want a relationship stage and I'm past the I never want to get married again stage lol

Be careful you may find yourself planning a wedding by the water with only 3 weeks time to do it

 

[Mika02]

Be careful you may find yourself planning a wedding by the water with only 3 weeks time to do it

 

[dvcdream4fld]

I think proposing in the middle of Bay Lake is a good thing. If she says no, she has nowhere to run, or if she does try to make a swim for it, she will likely be eaten by gators :>....

Being that we are obviously Disney fans, I think we have a tendency to want that happily ever after moment, especially when it comes to something like a proposal. My advice for all, son, mother, and commentators alike, is just do what you think is right in this situation. I say if Mom is asking for advice, then mom is probably not confident that being on the boat is appropriate. I say if the son is saying I want some privacy, then he should be man enough to tell his mom and pay for the boat trip himself.

There will be plenty of time for happiness and disappointment after the marriage.

 

[PlaneJoy1]

Well it could be like mine - I'm still waiting for the proposal

MY DH went from "I don't want a steady girlfriend" to 'You know I never want to get married again" to "when we get married" to "we should plan the wedding for June" And we did. SO I am still waiting for the actual proposal after 10 years

Wow! I thought I was the only one to have NEVER had a proposal. We just kind of decided to get married and planned a wedding. It's been almost 20 years.

 

[Marchand63]

Wow! I thought I was the only one to have NEVER had a proposal. We just kind of decided to get married and planned a wedding. It's been almost 20 years.

I had the big proposal & wedding first time around, did it more for our parents than us. This time it is about us not the pomp & circumstance. But he did put a ring on it!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am glad to read your additional info!
Okay, so now we can see how this all has transpired.
My advice... If your son really, really, REALLY, loves the idea of the pontoon proposal, then, would it be possible, at all, for you consider doing this at some future time.... Will you be back at WDW in the foreseeable future?

Or could other equally wonderful ideas/locations be considered for him?
There are probably some Disney Experts here who could come up some other amazing suggestions.

I am not the biggest Disney Expert, And it has been a long time... But I remember we saw the fireworks from a nice bench in the Rose Garden... It is a bit removed from the Fireworks, but the view of the Castle, and the fireworks were wonderful... Without the crowds! (we did this because our son would probably have become overwhelmed to try to be in front of the Castle anywhere), It was just my husband, myself, and my young son... We had a nice bench to ourselves, and relaxing there taking in that view was a very nice moment. I have a photo of the Castle/View that is just gorgeous.

There are probably things that one could set up, thru WDW, if they were within budget. But, I think we all know how expensive these kinds of things can be!!!

Talk to your son about different options, and surely something wonderful can be worked out.

 

[manning]

oh god, three in bed

 

[js]

If he really wants to propose on the boat, I really dont understand why you cant just let him do it and be somewhere else. If its about the money, ask him to reimburse you. If its just about your seeing fireworks, go somewhere else nd meet them later.

To me, its that simple.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I want to make a few things clear. First I do not want to be present when my son proposed. I have told him so. He insisted. After I told him about booking the cruise, he said he was going to propose then. It was his idea to propose on the cruise. Marriage proposal v. wedding proposal to me is the same thing. I do not even believe in love or marriages. I really didn't think people would pick apart my words.

I am single and I always vacation with my son (with plenty of trips to disney) and now that he has a girlfriend, she has been coming with us on trips. Her parents don't vacation.

I will be talking to my son and telling him everything that was posted. I am hoping that he decides to do the proposal elsewhere. Thank you everyone for giving me your insight.

So, it sounds to me like he really wants to propose during the boat ride, and either doesn't want to kick you off the ride you booked and paid for, or he actually wants you there when he proposes.

The problem I see with either scenario is that he doesn't seem to be taking his girlfriend into account. I mean, really, what woman wants her boyfriend's mom there during the proposal? If both families are present, that's different (although I would not have liked a public proposal). But just the guy's mom? That's just weird. He should find another time and location to propose instead.

 

[mom2rtk]

Please step up and find something else to do that night. Make the boat ride their engagement gift (assuming she says yes).

I have to admit if my daughter was proposed to on a boat with his mom right there, I'd be less than excited for what her future held.

 

[cabanafrau]

Nobody's going to even ask what was meant by "I don't believe in love or marriages"? That's what piques my interest.

I'm curious how supportive OP is about the overall idea of this relationship in the first place? If the concept of love and marriage are important to your son and his prospective bride will you be respectful of their choices?