They will not be snobby. We've had lovely conversations with some of our servers in Palo as well as in Remy. They are friendly and want you to enjoy your meal - both food and atmosphere, so will want you to feel at ease. Don't be afraid to ask about ingredients if you're unfamiliar with them - they love to talk about the food.
Ask them to help you pick a wine if you don't know what to get. Ask what
they would pair with a particular entree - they may ask your preferences (e.g. sweet, fruity, oaky, dry, etc.). If you're not really sure, tell them that. Or say you're open to suggestions. If you normally choose a wine from somewhere you've been, let them know that "we were in X some years ago and really enjoyed the wine there - could you recommend something from X that would pair well?" or "would you recommend something from X or something different?" or "would you recommend something
like the wine from X?" or even "we'd like to try something different but we do like the wine from X". That might give them an idea of what you like or at least a basis for your preferences. They know the food, the selections they have available, and they have the training and expertise. Make use of their knowledge; it's what they're there for, and who wouldn't want to be consulted on something they have expertise in? They're usually quite pleased that you ask for their recommendation.
If I admit I don’t know what I’m doing will they be annoyed or help me? Ex. How do I eat this? Is this entire thing edible? What is this sauce for?
The chef probably spent some considerable time designing and making the dish and wants you to get the best experience so ask if you're not sure or if they don't tell you right off. In higher-end places, the server may serve a dish and even say something like "the chef recommends that you...." and will give advice on how to eat it, whether to make sure to use the sauce, make sure to scoop from the bottom of the bowl so you get a bit of everything, etc. because that's how the chef designed it. Also, IMO, they shouldn't plate something or add a garnish that isn't edible. I don't think I recall either Palo or Remy doing that. If there's something that you might find a bit odd or out of the ordinary like flowers, they
should tell you that it is edible.
You don't really need to worry about whether or not to keep or give your fork or any other utensil or glass. They will generally take them after each course, but you don't need to concern yourself with that - they will clear away everything that needs to be cleared and will provide whatever new utensils you need. They know how the service and progression has been planned so you don't need to.
TL;DR - they want you to be happy, to enjoy yourself, to not feel awkward, and they love to talk about food and wine. You will not be made to feel out of place.