1st day of school

[MinnieVanMom]

Autism is hard.

Today is our childs first day of school. We had an IEP meeting a month ago and it went very well. Yesterday we had meet the teacher day and I was worried sick because no one knew who was doing what. But today there was a para in the classroom waiting for our child. The case manager came down and brought our child to OT and was given time to just let loose, spin, touch balls and play.

But I wonder, how do the other kids know from the first moment that our child is different? The other kids paired up and were playing but no one would play with our child. Our little one had dominos out and just said "I need help here" but no other kids came up. I was told at lunch there was a aide who we had met before and our child saw her and called her over to sit down.

How do NT kids know and why can't they just be nice anyways? I hate to think that the entire year will be our child spending all the time with the para.

It is a hard day and I pray I have made the right choice in going into public school rather than to continue home schooling. Our child is already testing out ahead of the K grade and has mastered the skills they are going to learn this year. I wanted public because the part we are missing is the social skills that I can't teach at home without other kids. I hope we can get the skills to fit better in the world.

There are 16 kids in the class and a teacher and the para. It all seems good but time will tell.

Thanks for reading this as I just let some steam off.

 

[Starr W.]

I have an Aspie who just started 6th grade(middle school) today. Been doing the IEP thing since preschool. We had ours in the Spring, with assistant principal who sits in on all jrhs IEP's and his intervention specialist. Everything we talked about came out fine. I did spend 4 days up at school walking him through his schedule. He did just fine today, actually kind of liked it. Saw some of his buddies(it took him to about 4th grade to make some friends) even remember some of the kids from our old elementary school(we redistricted our elementary boundaries a few years ago and we changed schools).

It's taken us countless group sessions working on social skills to get him where he is today. He's very high functioning only gets pulled out of class for APE and gets "special considerations" on the state tests. He's now an A/B student, received a presidential award at the end of last year and has tested proficient or above in all subjects on the state tests(that really gets the teachers ).

But we live in a great school district and we have had the opportunity to work with some really great teachers and principals. They have been just as pleased as us with his accademic achievments. It really has been a joint effort with our schools. Should also throw in his psycologist and developemental pediatrician too!

 

[bookwormde]

I guess it is easy for me (not so much for my wife) I do not expect my child to have interest in playing like the other children do, His interests and way of thinking is different, much more intellectually mature while by NT standards socially behind. He started 4th grade on Monday he met had a couple of his fiends (all girls) from previous grades in his class. With his para everything is going fine even though he has almost all-new teaching personnel (who need to get up to speed on Aspergers and his particular characteristics) including new speech teacher (actually not hired yet). The school has come a long way in understanding Aspergers since working with our son. We do work on friendship social skills and all the sub skills involved in it, but we by nature and wiring are not societally socially driven, we have a few good friends enjoy our intellectual pursuits.

I guess what I am trying to say is yes supply the skills for your child to be as sociatally social as he/she wishes to be, but learn not to be disappointed if it does not match the NT ideal. As long as they are happy and fulfilled (for their needs) then you have done well.

As time passes (years) and friendships naturally become less superficial and more of the type that fit our children.

bookwormde

 

[belle&beast]

I am a preschool speech pathologist and we write social goals for our kids all the time. We work on peer interaction and initiating conversation with peers as well as maintaining conversation if they are at that level. I would ask your resource teacher or SLP to add these types of goals, since this is an area of great concern to you.

I also want to add that the NT kids are probably not trying to leave your son out, they are often oblivious to other people. I have a very shy NT DD and last year in kindergarten she would often stand alone on the playground when I helped at recess. At first it was heartbreaking to me, but then I realized that I had to give her the words to use to approach other children and we had to practice. Social stories are wonderful for this type of practice, again ask your SLP to help you with this.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Give it time it was only the first day. I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. My DD was in kindergarten and since our school district only did 1/2 days but she really needed a whole day to get in therapies and school she went the whole day and I was worried about who she would eat lunch with and play on the playground with. It all work out in the end. She had lunch with another special need kid, a girl who was in 4th grade at the time. Before the year was out she had 2 best friends that where in her afternoon class and they are still best friends in 2nd grade. Unfortunately even though I requested she stay with her fiends they have been separated this year but so fare it seems ok although I know in my heart it would be better for her socially to be with them.