A little question....beard?

[Stacerita]

Ok, I have a question for anyone who can help me out and Im hoping to not offend anyone by my ingnorance about this. Im thinking Im asking the right group. So here is goes.......

What is a "beard"?

I have heard it used a few times people saying, "she is his beard" and then I heard it used refering to something else too. And Im not talking about the facial hair sort either.

Anyone out there know? TIA

 

[SeattleRedBear]

A 'beard' is basically a woman whom a gay man brings to events as a cover, to give the illusion that he is straight. I would have to do a little research to find out what the origin of the term is (I'm guessing it might have to do with the fact that "real men" can grow beards and gay men aren't "real men" so they have to borrow theirs....just a guess).

Ask a librarian!!

 

[donald...really]

I think they are called beards because, like fake beards, men use them as a disguise.

 

[SeattleRedBear]

I think they are called beards because, like fake beards, men use them as a disguise.

Yes, I like this explanation much better. Thanks.

 

[Empare]

Wow. I haven't heard this term before. What would a man be called if a women is bringing him along as a cover? hmmm... A weave? I really would like to know though.

 

[donald...really]

Not sure, but I they would still be considered a beard. I think it is a general term for anyone acting as a disguise for another person.

The first time I heard the term was when Rosie O'donnell and Nathan Lane were at the Tony Awards together. This was before either of them were out as gay. When they were on stage, Nathan asked Rosie if she liked his beard (he had grown a real beard, maybe for a part in a movie or something) and she replied "I thought I was your beard". The audience howled with laughter. I had to call a friend and ask what she meant.

 

[mickeysaver]

Copied from elsewhere on the internet......

It appears that the 1960s was when the term began being used to
describe cover for a homosexual male.

"Let’s look at the gay slang term “beard,” which, according to the
Dictionary of Gay Slang, originated in the mid-’60s and is used to
describe “a straight woman married to or involved with a gay man. The
gay man may be in the public eye, and may have a beard to hide the
fact that he is gay.”
From The Return of the Hirsute ****
By Michael Svoboda

Mid 1960s date also confirmed here



OTHER LINKS THAT MAY BE OF INTEREST

"According to gay slang and The A-List, a merkin is defined as "a man
who dates or marries a gay or bisexual woman so that the woman can
pretend to be heterosexual". Conversely, a beard is "a woman who dates
or marries a gay or bisexual man so that the man can pretend to be
heterosexual".

"FOD = Friend of Dorothy or Gay Male
Bi___________ = Bi Sexual
L____________ = Lesbian
Merkin is a Man who is married to a bi women or lesbian women.
Beard is a women married to a bi or homosexual male."
Forum post at the A-List

EDIT

"Beard, "A person of the opposite sex, either heterosexual or
homosexual, who knowingly dates or marries a closeted lesbian or gay
man to provide that person with a heterosexual `disguise', usually for
family or career purposes."

"beard Noun. A woman who is seen to be romantically linked with a gay
man, so protecting his true sexuality from public scrutiny - often
associated with celebrities. [Orig U.S.]"

One of the general definitions of beard is "One who serves to divert
suspicion or attention from another," and that has been used for many
years - beards are grown to cover.

 

[donald...really]

I really could have a lived a long and happy life without knowing the definition of a merkin.

 

[mickeysaver]

I really could have a lived a long and happy life without knowing the definition of a merkin.

Glad that I could be there for ya'! Maggie

 

[Stacerita]

OMG.....I think I have heard everything now!


ETA - my above statement is not about beards, but about something that was kindly edited by Rick.

 

[RickinNYC]

Hey guys, sorry but I took a little liberty and editing on this thread due to possible content issues.

Now, back to the concept of the OP, I've personally been the "date" of many lesbians in my day that were kinda up there in their respective companies. Boy did I go to a ton of great holiday parties, etc... ! And all free for nothin'! I just had to wear a suit and play the boyfriend role.

 

[mickeysaver]

No offense taken. I think the devil made me do it. Maggie

 

[Stacerita]

No offense taken. I think the devil made me do it. Maggie

Yep, the devil made you do it.

Thanks for helping to clear up what a beard is. And just to make sure I have it straight (hahaha), a beard knows that they are a beard...correct? They know the deal and that they are participating in the disguise. Am I right on that? A person who doesnt know would not be a beard? Am I making any sense? And a "hag" (hoping not to offend, just want clarification) wouldn't necessarily be a beard right? Dont know why I am needing to know all this, its just bugging me that I can't make it all out.

Oh, about what was edited by Rick.......I just wanted to let you know that I went it to work and couldn't wait to tell everyone. I told them about what I learned here, and let me just say, that there are quite a few eyes that were opened wide. We had some good laughs about merkins all day long. Very unprofessional I know, but hey, its friday. Thanks for helping us to have an enjoyable TGIF.

 

[Viki]

I've always thought a beard knew and was along for the ride. But I'm not sure it's strictly necessary.

 

[micknpluto]

This is funny a beard!! I've heard this before and it makes me laugh...

No way I would ever have a "beard" LOLOL

Ya know Liza'a X, Dave Gest (sp?) and Da Brat (the girl rapper from the Sureal Life) I hear they are a couple now.. They are like each others "beards"

 

[SeattleRedBear]

And a "hag" (hoping not to offend, just want clarification) wouldn't necessarily be a beard right? Dont know why I am needing to know all this, its just bugging me that I can't make it all out.

Our social circle prefers the term fruit fly

And no generally a hag wouldn't be acting as a beard (unless she was doing him a favor)

 

[Stacerita]

Our social circle prefers the term fruit fly

Fruit fly? UGH....another term I didn't know. The more I think I have a handle on things, the more I realize just how much out of the loop we are.

Now I need to ask how did the term "fruit fly" come about then?

 

[SeattleRedBear]

Fruit fly? UGH....another term I didn't know. The more I think I have a handle on things, the more I realize just how much out of the loop we are.

Now I need to ask how did the term "fruit fly" come about then?

Unfortunately, the only source I have doesn't provide a derivation and I've never heard of most of the other terms. They may be British. I really have to wonder about the last two.

fruit fly: a term for heterosexual women who like to socialize with gay men and drag queens. Also f** hag, flame dame, gay goddess, princess with a pink wand, ribbon clerk.

Paul Baker. Fantabulosa : a dictionary of Polari and gay slang. London ; New York : Continuum, 2002.