Aircraft Questions

[Kenbar]

Personally for me the journey is just a means to an end. However after reading all these threads about different airlines I would like to know the following:
We will be travelling on Loose Rivet Airlines on a Boeing seven million in super-snob class for which we paid an upgrade of £1.50 per person
Q1 How many TVs will we each have?
Q2 Will there be a choice of in flight magazine?
Q3 What colour will the cabin carpet be
Q4 Will this be the same colour or nicer than Economy.
Q5 What will be the male/female ratio of cabin staff be.
Q6 Can I take my Euphonium on as hand luggage
Q7 Can I play it before take-off or only during the flight.
Q8 Will the salt/pepper cruets be single or multi hole.
Q9 Can I prebook space in the overhead lockers.
Q10 Are pillows only available with manmade fibre fillings.


Ken

 

[belinda_r]

As an employee of Loose Rivet Airlines, I am happy to provide a response to your queries:-

Q1 How many TVs will we each have?
Depends on whether the cabin attendant remembers to bring their portables on board.

Q2 Will there be a choice of in flight magazine?
There is no yes/no answer to this.... we usually rely on the previous passengers to leave a selection.

Q3 What colour will the cabin carpet be
Manky green

Q4 Will this be the same colour or nicer than Economy.
Same colour, although slightly cleaner

Q5 What will be the male/female ratio of cabin staff be.
There's only me!!

Q6 Can I take my Euphonium on as hand luggage
We would be counting on it - see response to Q1 (you may be providing the entertainment)

Q7 Can I play it before take-off or only during the flight.
See response to Q6. We would prefer that you did not play it during take off as the noise could upset our elderly pilot who is prone to flashbacks to his army band days.

Q8 Will the salt/pepper cruets be single or multi hole.
The sachets will have a conveniently placed 'tear off' corner.

Q9 Can I prebook space in the overhead lockers.
Yes, would this be for hand luggage or will you be smuggling a smaller relative?

Q10 Are pillows only available with manmade fibre fillings
I am sorry, but yes. (We have to cut corners somewhere!)

Thank your for travelling with Loose Rivet Airlines.... we do realise you have a choice.

Belinda
Senior Cabin Attendant/co-pilot/cleaner

 

[MickeyMcMouse]

very good - just brightened up my day

 

[Tony Bush]

Finally an upgrade I can afford!! Do you think that Virgin will price match

Tony

 

[alexandra uk]

LOL

113 to go

 

[molipa]

can any one tell me if the toilets on looserivets airlines are inside or outside as my wife suffers from vertigo,also are the seat back tv's 32 or 28inch widescreen

thanks Dave [ww2 spitfire pilot]

 

[Barnsey]

I was most dissapointed with my super snob class upgrade for the considerably high sum of £1.50 on my recent unsatisfactory loose rivet airlines flight to LAX.

I did not realise that due to the airline "cutting costs", i had the unfortunate experience of not only being subject to watching channel 5 budget american films, but also to encounter toilet facilities on board which require the addition of a 20p coin to facilitate my most immediate attention.

However, even though this may not seem much to pay for such a snob as I, one was in the unfortunate position of locating a 20p coin when all of one's money had been changed into dollars.

When will Loose Rivet airlines learn that lavatory facilities should remain free to all those on board, especially to those most highest up in the social class lader as I, after all I am in super snob class where the wine (should) run free.

The airline will be hearing from my lawyer "Richie Rich Robbin" in due course.

Good day.

 

[belinda_r]

We value the opinions of our super snobs, and as such, have decided to withdraw our policy of charging for the use of the lavatory facilities. As an alternative cost cutting exercise, our passengers will now be expected to provide their own toilet paper. Please ask your lawyer to stop calling me!

As a gesture of good will, I can offer you a free flight to any destination within the UK. The seat allocated will be in our new experimental class - Posh Economy. This is a trial venture for us and passengers travelling in "PE" can expect a slightly higher level of service than in Economy. For example, we will be distributing menu cards at the beginning of the flight. Unfortunately, we are not yet in a position to provide any food.

Responding to the query re 'outside toilets' - this was just a vicious rumour initiated by our rivals, Cattle Class Airways.