"ask.fm" Are parents aware of this extremely dangerous social media threat?

[crazee4mickey]

ask.fm

Parents...have you heard of ask.fm? Talk about dangerous social media....

Seems to be big in our area right now... Essentially it is the "perfect platform" for people to harass and bully others by asking absolutely any type of questions and making statements/accusations with the option of being anonymous--most choose to post anonymously and relentlessly...it has over 65 million users and over half are under the age of 18.

I thought I would look into one of my son's friends who had signed up and what "unknown" people were accusing the girl of and the questions they were asking were beyond disgusting and disturbing.

Pretty scary.....The site has received a lot of flack by not having workable reporting, tracking or parental control on the site also comments apparently can never be deleted and you can't find out who made them!

Being blamed for contributing to teen suicides http://www.businessinsider.com/askfm-and-teen-suicides-2013-9

Our son was bullied via texting, twitter and facebook two years back and we couldn't believe what kids will say--he had a couple tell him to "go kill himself"....we banned all the media, computers, cell phones---he was suicidal, his first year of high school was a complete "wipe out", he went on medication and has received counselling for over 2 years now---let's just say it was absolute "he!!" knowing these people were able to contact him at any time, any where and say cruel things to him and this was with their names attached so can't imagine what they would say anonymously!

You might want to check into ask.fm and see what the dangers it poses to your kids

 

[skatalite]

Ask.fm is just a conduit through which people communicate. What people communicate can be a problem. Why children aren't being monitored by their parents is another problem.

Parents: Pay attention to what your children are doing via social media, even if it risks losing "cool points" with your little ones, and even if it means being a "bad guy."

Blaming Ask.fm for a person's behavior is silly.

Don't think Ask.fm has enough parental controls? Find another way to block it using a phone's, tablet's or computer's parental control apps and settings. Not enough? Install a keylogger on the device to see what sites your child visits.

Be ever vigilant, parents, and don't assume your children will always come to you with problems they're facing. Sometimes "budding in" is worth the temporary headache.

 

[Laura66]

It's been around a while - my daughter has it and we monitor it like we do all her social sites.
The potential for bullying is there on any social site. If any of these become a problem well address it.

 

[mhsjax]

My kids do not have one of these accts and they won't. There is far more nastiness on this social media than any other I have seen. It is anonymous so there are no filters on what people say and no proof of who said it, so it is free reign. This can't be compared to other social media.

I have not seen ( in my world) statements on twitter of Instagram or Facebook, asking if they would like certain body parts inserted into other body parts, ( I have seen this on MANY acts) asking if they are virgins, how big certain body parts are, being told they are the ugliest thing they have ever seen, being called female dogs and and lots of other words that I can't type.

Yep, this particular social media outlet needs to be done away with, I have never seen anything like it, it is nastiness in its purest form.

Also, there is no communication, it is ask and answer, this is not my ideas of communication. NO one needs to know the answers to questions that are usually asked on here. There is a reason it is anonymous, everyone knows the nastiness that goes on here. Just another toy for kids to have so they can see how much people want to know about them completely narcissistic. No other reason out there.

 

[kacaju]

horrible...my kids do not have one, but my friends daughter did. I read hers and there was someone who was pushing her buttons. Not really bullying her, but just teasing her enough to where my friends daughter started to say things like...come say that to my face.. I will punch the s*** out of you...enough that in this day and age my friends daughter was the one threading this other person.

I stepped up at that time and snap chatted the whole thing and sent it to my friend and told her she needed to get her daughter off of there...in the end.. if this continued it would be her daughter that would get in trouble.. not the kid who started it!

My friend is not computer savey and knew about the first time this other person did it...but not the 3 times after that. Her daughter in the mean time was getting moody and she didn't know why.

 

[goofinoff]

ask.fm Parents...have you heard of ask.fm? Talk about dangerous social media.... Seems to be big in our area right now... Essentially it is the "perfect platform" for people to harass and bully others by asking absolutely any type of questions and making statements/accusations with the option of being anonymous--most choose to post anonymously and relentlessly...it has over 65 million users and over half are under the age of 18. I thought I would look into one of my son's friends who had signed up and what "unknown" people were accusing the girl of and the questions they were asking were beyond disgusting and disturbing. Pretty scary.....The site has received a lot of flack by not having workable reporting, tracking or parental control on the site also comments apparently can never be deleted and you can't find out who made them! Being blamed for contributing to teen suicides http://www.businessinsider.com/askfm-and-teen-suicides-2013-9 Our son was bullied via texting, twitter and facebook two years back and we couldn't believe what kids will say--he had a couple tell him to "go kill himself"....we banned all the media, computers, cell phones---he was suicidal, his first year of high school was a complete "wipe out", he went on medication and has received counselling for over 2 years now---let's just say it was absolute "he!!" knowing these people were able to contact him at any time, any where and say cruel things to him and this was with their names attached so can't imagine what they would say anonymously! You might want to check into ask.fm and see what the dangers it poses to your kids

I posted a thread about this this summer. The mother of one of my daughters friends called me to tell me about it. My daughter didn't have one but lots of her friends did. I went on and read several of them and I was shocked. Filthy language and lots of talk about sex! My friends niece was one that I read and I was completely shocked. I always thought she was a lovely, polite young lady until I read it! At 12 years old I couldn't believe her filthy mouth!!

Parents have got to pay attention to what their kids are doing on the internet. If you're not looking at the history in their computer or iPad you need to!

 

[dakcp2001]

Ask.fm is just a conduit through which people communicate. What people communicate can be a problem. Why children aren't being monitored by their parents is another problem.

Parents: Pay attention to what your children are doing via social media, even if it risks losing "cool points" with your little ones, and even if it means being a "bad guy."

Blaming Ask.fm for a person's behavior is silly.

Don't think Ask.fm has enough parental controls? Find another way to block it using a phone's, tablet's or computer's parental control apps and settings. Not enough? Install a keylogger on the device to see what sites your child visits.

Be ever vigilant, parents, and don't assume your children will always come to you with problems they're facing. Sometimes "budding in" is worth the temporary headache.

 

[lizabu]

I heard about that girl who killed herself because she was getting bullied on there. When I saw that my girls were using it we had a long talk and I told them about that girl and what happened to her. I monitor all their online activity and haven't seen anything that concerns me at this point. If I saw any bullying behaviour they would have to get off there.

 

[Embel]

In our town this site is very popular, and about 50% of what I see on there is sexually inappropriate or just mean. Or both. The site is public so anyone can see it, and it offers an opportunity to comment anonymously- something not available to kids on other social medias like facebook or instagram. I monitor all three of these sites and I can assure you that accountability certainly changes the content.

I told my daughter that it is inevitable that as she goes through life, and particularly middle school that there will be people who don't like her or who are mad at her, but she would have to be all kinds of stupid to actually create a place for these people to bash her anonymously. She thought about it for a minute, then deleted her account.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

Ask.fm is just a conduit through which people communicate. What people communicate can be a problem. Why children aren't being monitored by their parents is another problem.

Parents: Pay attention to what your children are doing via social media, even if it risks losing "cool points" with your little ones, and even if it means being a "bad guy."

Blaming Ask.fm for a person's behavior is silly.

Don't think Ask.fm has enough parental controls? Find another way to block it using a phone's, tablet's or computer's parental control apps and settings. Not enough? Install a keylogger on the device to see what sites your child visits.

Be ever vigilant, parents, and don't assume your children will always come to you with problems they're facing. Sometimes "budding in" is worth the temporary headache.

Sound advice.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Ask.fm is just a conduit through which people communicate. What people communicate can be a problem. Why children aren't being monitored by their parents is another problem.

Parents: Pay attention to what your children are doing via social media, even if it risks losing "cool points" with your little ones, and even if it means being a "bad guy."

Blaming Ask.fm for a person's behavior is silly.

Don't think Ask.fm has enough parental controls? Find another way to block it using a phone's, tablet's or computer's parental control apps and settings. Not enough? Install a keylogger on the device to see what sites your child visits.

Be ever vigilant, parents, and don't assume your children will always come to you with problems they're facing. Sometimes "budding in" is worth the temporary headache.

I am "not blaming" but obviously they are finding connections between what was being said on the site by people and the suicides. I am making people aware as I had no idea about his until last couple of days and I do believe at this point the creators are well aware of what is happening so start adding security features for its users.

Not everyone is the "perfect" parent who is on top of things all of the time and I know this may come as a shock but kids can be pretty sneaky .....knowledge is the most powerful weapon, so putting this out there for those who may not already have heard of this website.

 

[ceemys]

I caught my daughter on this site and she got busted! I can't get on her phone and such every day but I get her stuff at least once a week. Told strangers her name and her phone number! I was ticked!! We have an original name and a small town. She doesn't have it anymore, at least as far as I can see.

 

[skatalite]

I caught my daughter on this site and she got busted! I can't get on her phone and such every day but I get her stuff at least once a week. Told strangers her name and her phone number! I was ticked!! We have an original name and a small town. She doesn't have it anymore, at least as far as I can see.

At what point do you decide to take the phone away? Or, give her a dumbphone to use instead of her current smartphone?

 

[LisaR]

Ask.fm is just a conduit through which people communicate. What people communicate can be a problem. Why children aren't being monitored by their parents is another problem.

Parents: Pay attention to what your children are doing via social media, even if it risks losing "cool points" with your little ones, and even if it means being a "bad guy."

Blaming Ask.fm for a person's behavior is silly.

Don't think Ask.fm has enough parental controls? Find another way to block it using a phone's, tablet's or computer's parental control apps and settings. Not enough? Install a keylogger on the device to see what sites your child visits.

Be ever vigilant, parents, and don't assume your children will always come to you with problems they're facing. Sometimes "budding in" is worth the temporary headache.

I'm really shocked by the number of kids who have wifi or data on their phones. There is absolutely no way to track what goes on on their cell phone. I am so tired of hearing parents say, "My kid would never........." Oh please! Kids are kids. They do stupid things even after we lecture them. Try parenting them once in awhile and saying NO. This is really becoming a pet peeve of mine.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm not in favor of trying to shut down any website even though it is good that they are adding more security features. Kids unfortunately will bully and shouldn't but I don't blame a website for that.

I just read about a poor girl who killed herself! She must have been so depressed.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Yes, it's horrid.

 

[FireDancer]

Kids unfortunately will bully and shouldn't but I don't blame a website for that.

Yep, don't blame the tool for someone using it inappropriately. There is a need to have a way to communication completely anonymously online. Whether it is asking questions you don't want tracked back to you for good reasons, political dissidents, whistle-blowing, or any other need. I mean truly anonymously where even the site owner has no idea who has asked the question.

The fact that people are using the site inappropriately is not the fault of the site and no way should they make the anonymity any less secure because of it. If they do someone else will just come up to take their place.

 

[ceemys]

At what point do you decide to take the phone away? Or, give her a dumbphone to use instead of her current smartphone?

Oh she lost her phone for a month after that. She actually lost her phone Sunday and won't have it for a while. Her two year term is up in February, so I will make my decision then.

I am trying to teach her responsibility versus just totally removing everything. But I have NO problem removing everything if she can't comply.

 

[luvsJack]

With so many new sites or aps coming out all the time, its hard to keep track of who has what and what it does. So, for this household, dd is taught what to do in a situation on ANY site--

Not giving out personal info, coming to us if someone is harassing her (and tools to deal with it on her own before she comes to us), not saying anything or doing anything that you wouldn't want everyone else seeing or hearing---and all of the rest.

Any social site can be used inappropriately. All can be used for bullying. IMHO, you have to teach the kid, so that they are prepared when the next big thing comes out and they all flock to use it.

I don't check dd's phone, I don't read her text, I don't look at the history on her laptop. I teach her what she needs to know and how she needs to behave online. So far, so good.

 

[skatalite]

Oh she lost her phone for a month after that. She actually lost her phone Sunday and won't have it for a while. Her two year term is up in February, so I will make my decision then.

I am trying to teach her responsibility versus just totally removing everything. But I have NO problem removing everything if she can't comply.

Right on. Also, I apologize if I came across as rude with my questions, as it wasn't my intention but I can see how it could be perceived as such. I was just curious how you were handling it outside of talking to her.

Cheers!