"Athletes' lives are more valuable....." Really?? SMH........

[Luv Bunnies]

I had a childhood friend who was an only child. One day when we were 10 or 11 we were walking down the sidewalk and she said to me, "My mother told me I should always walk on the inside of the sidewalk, away from the traffic. I'm an only child and my parents only have me. If you get hit, at least your parents will still have two other kids." Boy was my mom angry when I repeated that to her. She said all kids' lives are equally important and she couldn't believe my friend's mom told her such a thing!

 

[mefordis]

OP, if you are referring to your own kids as musicians and scientists and artists, I think you are sort of playing into her way of thinking. I am not sure what your kids have done to be considered a scientist, but... why can't both of your kids just be kids who play x sport, or like to draw, or enjoy the subject of Science? Why do they have to be anything at all but good people? It's a lot of pressure to put on a kid.

I have a colleague who has 4 children that are all amazing athletes. She does nothing but take them to practices, games, matches, and meets. They travel constantly, and she wouldn't have it any other way. She's counting on full college scholarships for all of them, and one may even be headed toward the Olympics. She places WAY too much emphasis on sports, in my opinion. And she belittles my children, who are not athletes, but instead musicians and scientists and artists.

Today was the icing on the cake. There was a terrible tragedy at a nearby college (my alma mater), where two students were murdered. They both played sports at the college (a Division 3 school). This colleague told us that it was an even larger tragedy *because* the students were athletes. She went on to say that athletes are more valued, more respected, more looked up to by their peers and by the community, and that their deaths are more tragic because of their amazing achievement (of being full-time college students as well as athletes).

I nearly fell off my chair. I asked her, "What if the victims were amazingly brilliant scientists, making strides in medical research? What if they were talented musicians? Or, most importantly, what if they were just plain ordinary students..........do you really have the audacity to claim that their lives wouldn't mean as much unless they played sports?!"

She didn't even seem fazed by my accusation. Instead, she said, "You just don't realize what it means to be an athlete. It's an amazing accomplishment."

I honestly think I can't be her friend anymore. She just thinks I'm anti-athlete (which I'm not! My kids' talents just don't lie there). I think she's a loon.

 

[VandVsmama]

I think that you guys are kind of attacking the OP when it's really not warranted. Her description or "label" of her kids' major interests are really not that big a deal. Her friend/colleague was disparaging her children for not being interested in athletics. In other words, her friend was belittling her children. And that's not cool. From the OP's description of the friend's behavior, the friend sounds like she's way off base and perhaps more than a big judgmental.

And you know what? What parent wouldn't be upset and a little defensive if another person was not only insulting their kids, but also kept bragging about what superstars HER kids were going to be, and how much more important athletes like HER kids are just because they play sports? Yeah, I would react the same way.

You guys are kind of shooting the messenger.

 

[VandVsmama]

OP here again! Don't want anyone to think that I was MIA, but I work from 7:30 - 3:30 and can't do the DIS while I'm teaching, lol!

Answering a couple of questions: Yes, these are the SUNY Geneseo students. It's a very very small town near Rochester, NY, with an awesome little college.

As far as referring to my own children with "labels".......my daughter attends an Environmental Science college (and what do you know? She got a full scholarship to go there, LOL!). She is heavily involved in some of the school's research. I guess I could have said that she is a "science-minded person". I didn't see the harm in calling her a scientist. Sorry if I sounded as if I also needed a reality check. I was simply classifying my kids based on their interests.

In my opinion, if your child is attending a science-focused college, is majoring in a field in the sciences, and is even involved in some of the school's scientific research, then yeah...you get to call your kid a scientist. Being involved in a professor's scientific research can sometimes result in the student being added to the list of authors when the professor gets his/her work accepted for publication in a scientific research journal. But if somebody wanted to be super technical about labels, maybe a label like "student-scientist" or something like that. But it doesn't really matter.

The MAIN point that the OP was making here is that the other woman is really rude and is also clueless about how rude and judgmental she is. Very self-absorbed people like that can wear on your nerves quite a bit. I certainly wouldn't want to spend as much time with the person after hearing repeated comments like that.

 

[GaryDis]

This thread immediately brings to mind this comparison of Michael Jordan and Bill Gates.

 

[aprilgail]

I had a childhood friend who was an only child. One day when we were 10 or 11 we were walking down the sidewalk and she said to me, "My mother told me I should always walk on the inside of the sidewalk, away from the traffic. I'm an only child and my parents only have me. If you get hit, at least your parents will still have two other kids." Boy was my mom angry when I repeated that to her. She said all kids' lives are equally important and she couldn't believe my friend's mom told her such a thing!

When my daughter was young she was in this body brace thing for a hip problem, so she needed to get ultrasounds and x-rays every month. Well this little old man is doing the test one time and asks me how many other kids I have and I say she is an only child. He tells me "oh you have to have another because if something happens to this one at least you will still have one other and it will hurt less"- ummmmm yea I don't think having another child will make it hurt any less to lose one.

 

[luvsJack]

This woman is nuts. No child is worth more than another.

But, how much does society back up what she thinks?

My sons are as different as night and day. One was a star athlete in school, the other played but his "thing" was academics, mostly math. The athlete got all the cheers and the "good games" slaps on the back walking down the hall and all the recognition from other parents everday. The other got that one day a year at awards day.

College athletes get a lot of glory. Our local university has many losing seasons and yet everyone knows the names of the starters on the football team. So many schools offer way more to athletes than just scholarships. They are tutored to get through classes. They are treated differently and catered to at least in some sports (football around here).

Pro athletes are paid mega bucks while people who protect us, teach us and save our lives make peanuts.

No life is worth more than another, but how much do we actually support that statement?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I think that you guys are kind of attacking the OP when it's really not warranted. Her description or "label" of her kids' major interests are really not that big a deal. Her friend/colleague was disparaging her children for not being interested in athletics. In other words, her friend was belittling her children. And that's not cool. From the OP's description of the friend's behavior, the friend sounds like she's way off base and perhaps more than a big judgmental.

And you know what? What parent wouldn't be upset and a little defensive if another person was not only insulting their kids, but also kept bragging about what superstars HER kids were going to be, and how much more important athletes like HER kids are just because they play sports? Yeah, I would react the same way.

You guys are kind of shooting the messenger.

I think for me, the great equalizer in the OP's initial post was when she not only judged the coworker's views/lifestyle/family with what I felt was at least a *slight* air of moral superiority, but also called her a loon.

From that, and I don't know the OP so I am just going off of what I felt from her post, I'm not entirely convinced that there is not to some extent some miffy "well, one day MY kids will show YOURS when they become brilliant artists or scientists...." energy in her conflict with the coworker that helps feed the fire.

My advice was for the OP to leave it alone. Let the woman have the athletic glory via her kids. So she "wins". Who cares? If OP doesn't make it a competition, there won't be one. If OP doesn't show she cares, the lady will talk to someone else about her amazing athletic kids and leave hers alone. If she is confident in her own kids' abilities and strengths, she won't have to worry that the other lady thinks her kids are better.

 

[Andtototoo]

When my daughter was young she was in this body brace thing for a hip problem, so she needed to get ultrasounds and x-rays every month. Well this little old man is doing the test one time and asks me how many other kids I have and I say she is an only child. He tells me "oh you have to have another because if something happens to this one at least you will still have one other and it will hurt less"- ummmmm yea I don't think having another child will make it hurt any less to lose one.

My dd is an only child and I was told the same thing by several people. Including my MIL.

 

[NotUrsula]

When my daughter was young she was in this body brace thing for a hip problem, so she needed to get ultrasounds and x-rays every month. Well this little old man is doing the test one time and asks me how many other kids I have and I say she is an only child. He tells me "oh you have to have another because if something happens to this one at least you will still have one other and it will hurt less"- ummmmm yea I don't think having another child will make it hurt any less to lose one.

My dd is an only child and I was told the same thing by several people. Including my MIL.

Notice that most of the people who told you this were of a certain age? Remember, antibiotics only became common after WW2; before that it was a standard assumption that very few parents had all of their live-born children live to adulthood. (One of my sets of grandparents did -- all nine of them, and everyone they knew thought that it was absolutely amazing luck.) People protected themselves emotionally by accepting statements like those as truth.

 

[eliza61]

This woman is nuts. No child is worth more than another.

But, how much does society back up what she thinks?

My sons are as different as night and day. One was a star athlete in school, the other played but his "thing" was academics, mostly math. The athlete got all the cheers and the "good games" slaps on the back walking down the hall and all the recognition from other parents everday. The other got that one day a year at awards day.

College athletes get a lot of glory. Our local university has many losing seasons and yet everyone knows the names of the starters on the football team. So many schools offer way more to athletes than just scholarships. They are tutored to get through classes. They are treated differently and catered to at least in some sports (football around here).

Pro athletes are paid mega bucks while people who protect us, teach us and save our lives make peanuts.

No life is worth more than another, but how much do we actually support that statement?

I don't know luv. I don't think it's a simple comparison.

at the core, professional sports are businesses. I have no problem with pro athletes salary because they do give us something that we value in the form of entertainment. There is a direct tangible cause and effect. there is also the argument of how much a professional sports team supports the community through auxiliary jobs. I cannot say the same about CEO's or our friendly neighborhood politician. how is it they get paid gabillions of dollars and when they screw up the company, the get more millions as a golden parachute? If an athlete doesn't perform his value goes down significantly.

Same thing with college sports. I went to the University of Pittsburgh during their heyday (Dan Marino, tony Dorsett). Our college football team brought in millions of dollars for the school, which paid for a lot of non football stuff, I know for a fact that every band, cheerleading and a few other non athletic scholarships were funded from proceeds from the football program. Penn State football program pretty much provides the scholarships for all the other sports right on down to quiddage (joke).

As a general rule you're right, star athletes like movie stars and singing stars get our accolades but I do think it's a bit different than what op's nutty friend is talking about.

 

[mefordis]

The entire subject is so ridiculous! Who cares what value this woman puts on your kids, op? I would never let myself get all bent out of shape just because some person thinks their kids are better because at present time they play sports.

Another point: I think an athlete can also be a musician and a scientist and an artist. I've known athletes who went on to get their degrees in a science field and go on to science related professions. My cousin plays volleyball in college but is also an incredible illustrator and takes art classes. I think what this woman believes is if you don't play a sport you are a lesser person, which is ridiculous. It makes no difference what your kids do, if they don't play a sport their value is less (according to her).

The bottom line - no one can place value on anyone else because it is arbitrary and totally subjective. The person has to value themselves. This is so not worth getting upset over, but I would limit my time with this woman if she upsets you.

 

[bcla]

The entire subject is so ridiculous! Who cares what value this woman puts on your kids, op? I would never let myself get all bent out of shape just because some person thinks their kids are better because at present time they play sports.

Another point: I think an athlete can also be a musician and a scientist and an artist. I've known athletes who went on to get their degrees in a science field and go on to science related professions. My cousin plays volleyball in college but is also an incredible illustrator and takes art classes. I think what this woman believes is if you don't play a sport you are a lesser person, which is ridiculous. It makes no difference what your kids do, if they don't play a sport their value is less (according to her).

The bottom line - no one can place value on anyone else because it is arbitrary and totally subjective. The person has to value themselves. This is so not worth getting upset over, but I would limit my time with this woman if she upsets you.

I don't necessarily ascribe to athletes being superior. I've met many, and they can immensely intelligent or dumb as rocks. I do appreciate that hard-working athletes often have learned discipline as well as time management skills from having to manage athletic and academic time.

Even so - once I was just conversing with someone I'd never met before, and that person out of the blue started saying that she was glad her husband was a Silicon Valley type and not an athlete. I got that she was thinking athletes were stupid and wouldn't amount to much. I just ignored it and went on my way.

 

[NotUrsula]

I don't necessarily ascribe to athletes being superior. I've met many, and they can immensely intelligent or dumb as rocks. I do appreciate that hard-working athletes often have learned discipline as well as time management skills from having to manage athletic and academic time.

Even so - once I was just conversing with someone I'd never met before, and that person out of the blue started saying that she was glad her husband was a Silicon Valley type and not an athlete. I got that she was thinking athletes were stupid and wouldn't amount to much. I just ignored it and went on my way.

Or, maybe she just doesn't like sports, and is fine with no Monday Night Football on TV, either..

 

[mefordis]

I don't necessarily ascribe to athletes being superior. I've met many, and they can immensely intelligent or dumb as rocks. I do appreciate that hard-working athletes often have learned discipline as well as time management skills from having to manage athletic and academic time.

Even so - once I was just conversing with someone I'd never met before, and that person out of the blue started saying that she was glad her husband was a Silicon Valley type and not an athlete. I got that she was thinking athletes were stupid and wouldn't amount to much. I just ignored it and went on my way.

See, I find this line of thinking so weird. One is exclusive from the other, unless she is saying she's glad her husband doesn't make a living as a professional athlete and works in Silicon Valley instead ? I mean, I know of a lot of athletic people who have professions in all sorts of fields from technology to entertainment. It makes sense if we are talking professional players but those are an extremely small percentage of the population. Might as well say Oscar winning actor, too. And when these pro athletes DO retire they find other fields to earn a living in. I just don't get the comparison of athletics vs anything else such as arts, sciences, technology. Most athletes do more than just play their sport. Just as most people I would hope have more than one interest in life. I would go as far as to say that athletes are more likely to be good at more than sports since they are often very disciplined and tend to apply that discipline to other areas of their life.

 

[superme80]

I just watched a documentary on Netflix called, "Trophy Kids". The things some parents do to make their children star athletes is mind boggling. I would probably not be friends with this person if they keep insulting my children.

 

[dollarmite]

This woman isn't playing with a full deck.

I'd have cut her off long ago.

 

[Flight]

This woman is nuts. No child is worth more than another.

But, how much does society back up what she thinks? ... but how much do we actually support that statement?

In my school, there are pep rallies to support the athletes. These pep rallies in the gym with all students in attendance require that everyone loses one academic period. This is in a school where many students struggle academically.

There are no pep rallies to cheer on the students that are excelling in math, science and reading or thrive in other areas such as music or art.

So yes, we (society) do back up and support that statement.

 

[DisneyOma]

In my school, there are pep rallies to support the athletes. These pep rallies in the gym with all students in attendance require that everyone loses one academic period. This is in a school where many students struggle academically.

There are no pep rallies to cheer on the students that are excelling in math, science and reading or thrive in other areas such as music or art.

So yes, we (society) do back up and support that statement.

Our local high school does the same thing, and our sports teams suck. Our math team has won more meets than all the other teams combined, I think They are almost always small school league champs, and score higher than the large schools most years too. Some of us finally pushed enough so the math team gets introduced at the first rally of the year.

Then we had a phase where they were talking about not having class rank, etc. The middle school stopped honoring kids who got straight A's all four years of school. No mention of stopping the stupid rallies, but we can't let the hardworking, smart kids have any recognition??

 

[sunshinehighway]

Such an odd thread. Who labels their kids like this? Athlete, scientist, musician? It sounds like a lot of silliness and judgement from both.
There are people that think like that though. I remember a thread here where someone actually said her husband was more special than other people. She felt certain jobs made people more special and their deaths were more tragic than just regular people.
I guess that's just how some people think.