Feeling sort of deflated today. I had a bad conversation with my dad yesterday and it sort of got me not excited about wedding stuff.
I mentioned this before...my mom passed away last year. We were close and she lived with me for the two years she was fighting cancer. I also lived with her growing up after they got divorced.
Anyway, my dad and I don't have an emotionally close relationship. I don't know that he has that with anyone actually. His mentality about the wedding has been confusing. For a while he kept asking what he should wear. I'm like...a tux?? It was like he had no concept that he was part of the bridal party. He's been driving me nuts with things like this. My stepmom has been great as she is now "mother of the bride". She's been super supportive - not our usual relationship - so it's been nice.
My dad got shingles last month so he's been extra ornery whenever I email with him or talk to him. So yesterday, being that it was Father's Day, I called him. The conversation quickly turned into him attacking me for my June newsletter. I sent it on Saturday via email. It's my second one. It actually has similar info to the first one, but just some updated room block info and also a heads up about making dining reservations in Aug at the 180 mark.
I also included some helpful Q&A sections with myself and also one of my bridesmaids who has traveled to Disney with young kids many times.
My plan was to highlight different people in upcoming newsletters to address all the different parties that are coming down to FL...many for the first time. So this newsletter had helpful hints for going to Disney with young kids. The August one was going to be hints for going with older kids and also all about dining options. In the Fall one, I was going to address going as an adult-only party and talk about fun stuff like that. Also maybe do a "meet the bridal party" section since it's nice to know who's who.
Well, my dad started going after me about how long it was. It was about 10 pages but with lots of pictures. I told him I actually scaled it down. Then he started complaining that it was TMI...why am I doing this. It's confusing and he doesn't understand why I am doing this. Then he started asking me questions that I had clearly explained in the newsletter...such as Magical Express and how to use Disney transportation (um..get on the friggin' bus?!). He got nasty about it. I asked him if he read my newsletter and he started going off like "why can't you just answer my questions. Why do I have read it?" I tried to explain that if he read it first, THEN asked questions, it would make more sense. And that yes, the ME and using Disney buses really IS simple. Then he started going crazy saying that he's been sick and blah blah blah and he doesn't want to do anything when he feels sick and he certainly doesn't want to deal with THIS wedding stuff. He's not in the mood.
I can't believe I didn't hang up. But, I knew that if I did, it would be worse. So I tried to answer his questions and then smartly changed the topic, which worked...I asked about airfare stuff. He used to work for American (he's retired) so when you ask him info that he feels useful for, he's all over it. He immediately changed mood and actually did tell me some helpful stuff. Then, at the end, he said he would read the newsletter this week and that yes, it would be easier to read it first and THEN ask questions.
So it ended okay, but I was left feeling really deflated and upset. This is the parent I'm left with. My mom would be SO involved and I know she'd tell me that he's an ******* and I shouldn't let it bother me. She's always hated the way he never puts me or my sister as a priority. More me than her.
When I sent the first newsletter I got a TON of positive comments and also some "omg this is a lot of info" comments. I did address this in this June newsletter and did try to scale back. But I also acknowledged that there's no way around it: there IS a lot to know. Bottom line.
So now I don't want to do any more of them. Why I am letting his comments (which seemingly are the minority) matter more than the positive ones, I don't know. I guess it's just old family wounds. Hopefully I'll hear more positive stuff from folks. I had planned on writing the rest of them (for the most part) this summer when I'm off from work. Then I'll release them every couple of months. Each one takes hours to do. I enjoy doing them. I really do. But I just feel so depressed today.
I've also had groomsmen drama this past week. One of them, who lives in Canada, springs on us that he is now bringing a date to the wedding. I need to say that I had to wrench it out of him, which pissed me off. I heard it second hand and then when he called me, I had to pretty much pull it out of him. I hate when people are wishy washy. I had to talk to him like a student. I had to make it clear that communication is essential and non-negotiable. Whatever. It's done now.
I've also decided to use Tim Herring as our officiant. I am going to fill out his paperwork this week. I looked over a few and based on others' reviews, I think he'll work out great.
My goal is to get the bridesmaid dresses ordered by Aug. 1st so that I will know with 100% certainty the colors, etc. I am also stressed about the PS because while I have pinned different ideas, I still don't have a vision for the wedding. I am hoping Disney can help me with this.
We booked our flights for the PS and one of my MOH's is coming too. So I'm looking forward to spending some time with her as well. Ironically we might go to Universal parks while she's there. LOL
I guess that's it for now. Hopefully I'll feel better about things soon. Right now I'm not motivated to do anything wedding related.