*Changed Title* Anyone have a small wedding, then a big wedding after deployment?

[My sister's princess]

So DH has started asking the dreaded questions about what I want to do for our vow renewal. We got married in Disney (without family) before he deployed, but to smooth over hurt feelings promised to have a vow renewal here at home when he returns from his tour.......

Just needed to kinda go BLAH with that, and most civilian families don't understand what we are doing

So, anyone want to plan this shindig for me



ETA:

I am looking for someone else who has done something like this. One of the biggest things I feel weird about is wording the invites....

 

[lovemygoofy]

You are going to have another marriage ceremony/vow renewal at home because some people didn't go to the one in Disney?

Honestly I wouldn't bother but that is just me. You had the wedding you wanted or what you thought was important. I don't worry about what others want.

Have a big party/celebration/anniversary thing when your husband returns and call it a day.

On one hand it would give you somthing to focus on while your husband is away to plan another wedding thing but on the other hand that would just be more unnecessary stress that can be avoided. Do what is best for you and your husband not what makes everyone else happy.

 

[My sister's princess]

It wasn't a matter of some people not going..... the only family there was my sister. When we decided to get married in Disney parents and, grandparents were reassured (after asking for it) that we would remarry once he got home.

Most of our family is really looking forward to it, and so is DH. It isn't that I don't want to do it so much as not wanting to offend anyone, and the stress of that ontop of the planning! The people closest to us (family close friends) understand why everything has happened the way it has, but others don't.

 

[Stephanie218]

We did the exact same thing. My sister and his best friend flew out to CA and we had a ceremony on the beach a few months before he deployed. My parents & his parents were fine with it, as long as we had a ceremony & reception back home after deployment. That was non-negotiable, and they paid for it, so we couldn't really complain.

It was a lot of stress though, and a little unnecessary since we were married already, but we're both the oldest children and neither set of parents wanted to miss on the first weddings of the family. Our renewal was 1.5 years after the original ceremony, and we clearly worded the invitations as a vow renewal, not a wedding.

If it makes you feel better, out of about 30 other wives I am close with, I can count on one hand how many had the "traditional" wedding. The majority of us eloped (either courthouse, small church, or beach ceremony) and then had a second wedding.

 

[My sister's princess]

We did the exact same thing. My sister and his best friend flew out to CA and we had a ceremony on the beach a few months before he deployed. My parents & his parents were fine with it, as long as we had a ceremony & reception back home after deployment. That was non-negotiable, and they paid for it, so we couldn't really complain.

It was a lot of stress though, and a little unnecessary since we were married already, but we're both the oldest children and neither set of parents wanted to miss on the first weddings of the family. Our renewal was 1.5 years after the original ceremony, and we clearly worded the invitations as a vow renewal, not a wedding.

If it makes you feel better, out of about 30 other wives I am close with, I can count on one hand how many had the "traditional" wedding. The majority of us eloped (either courthouse, small church, or beach ceremony) and then had a second wedding.

Did you feel awkward that day?

 

[samshane]

Not before a deployment - but before he transferred we did get married and didn't tell anyone except our parents. It was in a church, by a minister, just my parents and sister there. We had a bigger wedding a few months later and didn't tell people about the first one til years later.

Looking back - I wish we would've just taken my mom up on her offer to fly us out to Vegas to get married. We had so much drama with our nuptials with his side of the family.

I had a lot of military friends who did something similar.

Good luck to you!

 

[trip]

My DD married her Marine 6 weeks before his second deployment(so they had time to complete the paperwork before he left). Just parents and sibblings. He is home now and this weekend we are having the "big" wedding. All the friends and relatives can't wait to help them celebrate!!!!

 

[Stephanie218]

Did you feel awkward that day?

Eh, not really? It did feel like playing dress-up than an actual wedding. To me, our first wedding was our real one - and the second one was just like a re-do for family & friends. Everyone was so excited about our marriage still though, and it was the first time the guests had seen my husband since deployment so it was great to get a chance to talk to everyone and catch up. I wore my dress from the original wedding again, so I think that contributed to the dress-up feeling - it was weird to get in the same dress a year and a half later.

 

[My sister's princess]

Not before a deployment - but before he transferred we did get married and didn't tell anyone except our parents. It was in a church, by a minister, just my parents and sister there. We had a bigger wedding a few months later and didn't tell people about the first one til years later.

Looking back - I wish we would've just taken my mom up on her offer to fly us out to Vegas to get married. We had so much drama with our nuptials with his side of the family.

I had a lot of military friends who did something similar.

Good luck to you!

We had talked about doing that, but figured it was too complicated!

My DD married her Marine 6 weeks before his second deployment(so they had time to complete the paperwork before he left). Just parents and sibblings. He is home now and this weekend we are having the "big" wedding. All the friends and relatives can't wait to help them celebrate!!!!

Congrats to your DD!

Eh, not really? It did feel like playing dress-up than an actual wedding. To me, our first wedding was our real one - and the second one was just like a re-do for family & friends. Everyone was so excited about our marriage still though, and it was the first time the guests had seen my husband since deployment so it was great to get a chance to talk to everyone and catch up. I wore my dress from the original wedding again, so I think that contributed to the dress-up feeling - it was weird to get in the same dress a year and a half later.

I will be wearing my same dress, seems kinda silly to buy another. Thank you for your post.