Did you ever "break up" with your family?

[snapppyd]

Was it permanent?

My sisters and I haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.

I don't know if it will ever be resolved.

I never thought I would be saying this, but maybe I'm better off.

Have you ever felt this way/had this happen?

 

[low-key]

Nah, I might have a few times madw a grand exist, but they my family, I will always take them back and they me ( now its just me and my least favorite member of the family, my sister, lol) but at the end of the day we got each others back

 

[Skywalker]

Me - No. But I am lucky to have a truly nice family.
My husband - Yes. For the good of his mental health. Once upon a time I tried to tell him to never turn his back on family. Then I learned how absolutely toxic they are. Now I let him decide lol.

 

[JLTraveling]

I "broke up" with my cousin about 10 years ago. We were like sisters growing up, but something changed. She came down to visit (on my dime), we went to all the theme parks, did all this fantastic stuff...and she spent the entire two weeks throwing toddler fits over nothing, locking herself in her room, and generally being impossible. Then she went home, started stalking my employer trying to get me fired, and the final straw was when she flushed the small vial of my mom's ashes she had requested and I had given her down the toilet. No love lost there at all.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I don’t really have much of a relationship with my brother. He’s always been a jerk and I can’t stand his 3rd wife. She’s a real a$$. Like when covid started and one time an elderly lady in the grocery wasn’t moving fast enough for her so she walked up behind her and coughed. This was before masks were required. My brother thought it was hilarious. Haven’t spoken to him since.

 

[mylilnikita]

My aunt right before my Mom passed and have no regrets. Forgave her once then she did same thing again. Nope.

People get to tied up in blood is thicker then water and forgive everything because it’s family stuff. You are family biologically because people did the deed, not that big of a deal.

My dd hasn’t spoken with her dad in a couple years because he crossed a line.

 

[mommasita]

Was it permanent?

My sisters and I haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.

I don't know if it will ever be resolved.

I never thought I would be saying this, but maybe I'm better off.

Have you ever felt this way/had this happen?

Sadly yes, I didn’t speak to my sister for about 7 or 8 years. The sad part is I don’t know why, she had a falling out with my Mother, and wrote us both off. When my mother was dying my husband messaged her ( I was livid ), and her response was something like ”what am I supposed to do”. Anyway, she never came to The hospital, funeral, zilch. We sort of speak, she is extremely selfish.
Both our natural parents have now passed, and both left her out of their wills. I have no other siblings, and it hurts, but it is what it is.

Do you think you are better off? If you are ok with it, only you know. I would have been fine never speaking to her, my husband started it, and so we are civil, and see each other maybe twice a year. I use her vacation home Here and there when she isn‘t using it. She has resentment that she was left out of the wills, and I Try to let it go that she could not have even come help me decide in a 24 hour span on life support for our Mother.

 

[Kittyblue]

Not really, but my extended family isn't really all that close anyway. I did "break up" with some of my ex-inlaws when I was married. They were completely crazy drug addicts. I didn't want them at my house and I stopped going with the ex to visit them.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I no longer speak to my father's sister. She said horrible and nasty things to my father about his sobriety being all for show, and told him to just get drunk and crash his car and die already. I was there and heard it with my own ears. I never saw the blood drain out of someone's face before, but it did with my Dad. All he did was turn around and tell me to get in the car. Later that same year he was killed by a drunk driver in a freak coincidence. This woman had the unmitigated gall to show up at the viewing and try to put her arms around my mother. My Mom stepped back and just said quietly, "well, you wanted him to die and now he's dead. You can leave now." That was the last time I spoke to her, when I followed her out of the funeral home to make sure she was gone. I just said "how dare you," and went back inside. 1987.

 

[ronandannette]

No, blessedly I am close with all my immediate family and will do everything in my power to stay that way. My DH on the other hand, hasn't exactly divorced his surviving siblings but let's just say all three of them are amicably separated by mutual agreement. They're of an age where I would love to see some of the (IMO) petty bygones be resolved, it's not up to me and I don't weigh in.

 

[Tink-osophy]

Sadly yes, I didn’t speak to my sister for about 7 or 8 years. The sad part is I don’t know why, she had a falling out with my Mother, and wrote us both off. When my mother was dying my husband messaged her ( I was livid ), and her response was something like ”what am I supposed to do”. Anyway, she never came to The hospital, funeral, zilch. We sort of speak, she is extremely selfish.
Both our natural parents have now passed, and both left her out of their wills. I have no other siblings, and it hurts, but it is what it is.

Do you think you are better off? If you are ok with it, only you know. I would have been fine never speaking to her, my husband started it, and so we are civil, and see each other maybe twice a year. I use her vacation home Here and there when she isn‘t using it. She has resentment that she was left out of the wills, and I Try to let it go that she could not have even come help me decide in a 24 hour span on life support for our Mother.

I'm not sure what you can do with a narcissistic family member other than be willing to tolerate/humor them, or walk away. There doesn't seem to be the option of middle ground. Doesn't stop it hurting, though.

 

[China Expat]

Yes. We have ended all contact with my sister. She is a hateful person.

 

[rangerxenos]

We no longer speak to my sister-in-law, we refer to her as the Evil One, and the moniker is well earned. I always tell people, if you don't have lawyers involved, things aren't that bad, that's how things ended within the family when my Mother-in-law passed away. Money does awful things to people.

On my side, I have not spoken or seen my father in 25 plus years, I have no clue if he is alive or dead. It is a long, sad story.

 

[mommasita]

I'm not sure what you can do with a narcissistic family member other than be willing to tolerate/humor them, or walk away. There doesn't seem to be the option of middle ground. Doesn't stop it hurting, though.

Very true. I am not even sure why I try sometimes, but I do. Every Xmas we travel, two years ago just as we were about to go she got ill, it ended up being her gallbladder, I felt awful as we have zero family aside from ourselves, she is single, so we left two days later, aNd I waited to make sure she was ok, visited her, brought her what she needed, saw her home safely. Two weeks ago, I thought mine was acting up, texted her saying “Hi, how are you, can I ask your opinion on something”, she answers me “ it better be quick I’ve just finished work, so what do you want”. She has not even gotten in touch with me to see how I am. It is just not how I work, thankfully I have a best friend who is like me, and cares. We call ourselves sisters .

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

Yes. A few family members. I'll never say never to reconciliation, but at this moment, I feel no urge for any. My life is better without them in it.

 

[neverlandsky]

Unfortunately yes. I cutoff and it’s permanent. I will not subject myself, my DH, and our children to the toxicity, exclusion, unhealthy relationships, rug sweeping, stalking, lying, cheating, narcissistic behaviors, and every kind of abuse imaginable again because it’s “Family”.

 

[Tink-osophy]

Very true. I am not even sure why I try sometimes, but I do. Every Xmas we travel, two years ago just as we were about to go she got ill, it ended up being her gallbladder, I felt awful as we have zero family aside from ourselves, she is single, so we left two days later, aNd I waited to make sure she was ok, visited her, brought her what she needed, saw her home safely. Two weeks ago, I thought mine was acting up, texted her saying “Hi, how are you, can I ask your opinion on something”, she answers me “ it better be quick I’ve just finished work, so what do you want”. She has not even gotten in touch with me to see how I am. It is just not how I work, thankfully I have a best friend who is like me, and cares. We call ourselves sisters .

Yes, it's one-way traffic, isn't it! Glad you have a 'friend-sister' instead, though, and hope you are OK.

 

[Skippy918]

Dh and his mom. They’ve had periods of no contact. She’s a bit of a narcissist and doesn’t like when you don’t put her first. She can be extremely needy and constantly expects Dh to drop everything and do something for her and then gets mad when he’s unable to. He works full time and we have kids and she doesn’t get it.
They resumed speaking a few months back after over a year of not talking.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Yep, I had the good sense to get away from my abusive parents when I was 18. I would have happily stayed estranged from them for the rest of my life, but a year or so later they found where I worked and started showing up there. In an effort to not cause a scene at my place of employment, I tolerated contact from them and stupidly allowed them to worm their way back into my life, while keeping them at arm’s length. They ultimately proved to be as awful as they ever were and I put up with them way too long before finally cutting all contact some years ago. I will never make that mistake again — this time will be permanent. My father has since died, so I only have to worry about one of them stalking me down and trying to lob a grenade into my life now.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I have a sister, we are 10 yrs apart. She wants nothing to do with me. We never even lived together.