I’ll check and update when we get there this Saturday!
My 10-year-old is going through a super annoying phase right now where I’m tempted to lock him in the basement with the 6-year-old, wait a few hours, and let the survivor of Thunderdome come back up for dinner. Hoping this trip doesn’t go down as the vacation we talk about for two decades because he was such a pill to everyone.
In cases like this I recommend packing duct tape, Benadryl and a LARGE bottle of grain alcohol, you know, the kind of grain alcohol that is behind the counter at the PA. state stores. At least it was behind the counter, locked away when I was in college. For some reason, the people working in the State Stores in North philly would always let me buy alcohol when I was a freshman in college. That's how I know where they keep the grain alcohol.
Anyway you need to duct tape the ornery children together and put them in the closet in your room. Tell Housekeeping you have a service animal in your room and they will leave you alone. The kids will probably be barking and snarling so that will totally be believable. If there is a security check scheduled for your room 'Benadryl' the children so they can't argue with each other during this room sweep. Don't worry, "Housekeeping Security" is only looking to see if you took the runners off the foot of the bed. There is no other logical explanation for what they are doing during these sweeps.
Next up: Make Sunken Treasure drinks with the grain alcohol. I think the recipe is one ounce of grain alcohol for each problem child. Add the green stuff and a cherry and put that in your refillable mug. Go ride Spaceship Earth while sipping your Sunken Treasure on steroids. Apologize to your liver because that grain alcohol is doing a number on it.
Dragging around that refillable mug with a grain alcohol Sunken Treasure in it is exhausting so it's time to hit the lazy river at Stormalong Bay. I'm not sure if they put cup holders on the pool tubes yet so you will have to check. If they haven't gotten around to that you'll need to complain vociferously to hotel management. We got a new locker room that way so cup holders on the pool tubes should be a breeze.
If this plan isn't working for you you can probably still drop the children off at the fire station and tell the authorities they are unwanted. Sometimes just driving by the fire station and threatening the problem child/children with abandonment is enough to get them to behave. The one thing you have to watch out for is the other kids ganging up on the crabby child and pushing them out of the car when you do the fire station drive by.
Dropping children off at the fire station as unwanted is more like horse shoes than darts. The drop off doesn't have to be exact. If you can dump them within 200 feet it still counts as a drop off. Pro Tip: if you see a note pinned to the back of the problem child stating they are being given up by his brothers and sisters it's a sure sign that they plan on pushing him out of the car during the fire station drive by.
I hope that helps...
~NM
PS My money is on the 6 year old winning basement thunder dome. How can you bet against a 6 year old that sharpens her teeth to prepare for battle?
This month is flying!!!
