Does anyone ever apologize anymore?

[ShellieMimi]

I'm not positive here but I think they mean that the only accepted response of "You're welcome" is antiquated.

I don't know why older people have convinced themselves that "you're welcome" is the only acceptable response. It's such a silly thing to get hung up about.

http://allthingslinguistic.com/post/124189121619/no-problem-vs-youre-welcome

 

[Pacolovestacos]

In that context, "no problem" or "no worries" are appropriate. If someone feels the need to apologize or excuse themselves for something they did, it's fine to tell them whatever they did was not a problem. What bothers me is when I say "thank you" to a server for bringing me a drink refill and they reply with "no worries." That's not an appropriate response. It implies that I was worried (or that I should be worried) about asking them to do something for me. I wasn't worried, I was simply grateful for the task they performed. Sure, it's their job. But I like to show my appreciation by thanking people for what they do. The appropriate reply would be "you're welcome."

I agree that "no worries" wouldn't be an appropriate response in that case. "No problem" however is appropriate. You thanked them for doing their job so by responding "no problem" they're letting you know that a thank you isn't necessary. Again, I can't understand why someone would get hung up on something so innocent. They aren't disrespecting you.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'll gladly accept any response that is in the spirit of good will, IYKWIM.
If we're talking about politeness though, I think "you're welcome" goes a lot farther than "no worries." To each his own.

Ok..if you'll accept any response then what's the whole "I can't stand "no worries"!!" thing about then?

I'm geniunely confused here.

 

[gemini2727]

Ok..if you'll accept any response then what's the whole "I can't stand "no worries"!!" thing about then?

I'm geniunely confused here.

I'm discussing a pet peeve on a message board. "No worries" and "no problem" have always irked me as a response to thank you. However, I hold no animosity towards the person saying it, since I do know it's meant as a kind of "you're welcome."

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Ok..if you'll accept any response then what's the whole "I can't stand "no worries"!!" thing about then?

I'm geniunely confused here.

I hope they don't go to Australia because they'll be getting "no worries mate" more than they ever dreamed possible.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm discussing a pet peeve on a message board.

I don't think I said there was an issue with you sharing your viewpoint.

"No worries" and "no problem" have always irked me as a response to thank you. However, I hold no animosity towards the person saying it, since I do know it's meant as a kind of "you're welcome."

Yeah ok I gotcha but here's an interesting thing here.

First it's a "I can't stand "no worries"!! Oh (sarcasm) thank you for easing my mind! (I wasn't worried, believe me) It's feels so condescending."

Then it's a "A polite "thank you" deserves an equally polite response, imo."

Then it's a "I'll gladly accept any response that is in the spirit of good will, IYKWIM." Followed by "If we're talking about politeness though, I think "you're welcome" goes a lot farther than "no worries.""

And lastly it's a "However, I hold no animosity towards the person saying it, since I do know it's meant as a kind of "you're welcome.""

----------------------------------------
So you've gone from it feels so condescending, to you need to say you're welcome, to you'll accept any response--as long as it's in good will appearantly, to you're welcome is the only equivalent to thank you, to you don't hold any animosity towards a person because you already know it's meant as kind of a welcome.

_____________________________
I'll be honest I've received a snooty or less than warm or uncaring "you're welcome" but I've never personally (so yes this is my experience not necessarily anyone else's) received the same when someone has said "no worries" or "no problem"..so I guess as long as they said "you're welcome" I'm supposed to have relief that they said what others feel is the only equally polite response to me saying "thank you"?

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Just as another example, when I go to Chic Fil A, and I place an order, I say "thank you" at the end. The person taking the order says "my pleasure." I never even gave it a second thought but according to some here that is inappropriate since it's not the standard "you're welcome."

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don't know why older people have convinced themselves that "you're welcome" is the only acceptable response. It's such a silly thing to get hung up about.

http://allthingslinguistic.com/post/124189121619/no-problem-vs-youre-welcome

To me it's not even an older person thing. My step-father-in-law (in his early 60s) and my mother (who is 58) have said "not a problem" or "no worries" or "no problem". I've heard the sayings from all different ages. But the DIS is the only place that I had heard people have a problem with those sayings. And that's not me being mean at all. I geniunely didn't even know people had an issue with it and saw it as impolite until reading various threads over time on here.

 

[gemini2727]

I don't think I said there was an issue with you sharing your viewpoint.

Yeah ok I gotcha but here's an interesting thing here.

First it's a "I can't stand "no worries"!! Oh (sarcasm) thank you for easing my mind! (I wasn't worried, believe me) It's feels so condescending."

Then it's a "A polite "thank you" deserves an equally polite response, imo."

Then it's a "I'll gladly accept any response that is in the spirit of good will, IYKWIM." Followed by "If we're talking about politeness though, I think "you're welcome" goes a lot farther than "no worries.""

And lastly it's a "However, I hold no animosity towards the person saying it, since I do know it's meant as a kind of "you're welcome.""

----------------------------------------
So you've gone from it feels so condescending, to you need to say you're welcome, to you'll accept any response--as long as it's in good will appearantly, to you're welcome is the only equivalent to thank you, to you don't hold any animosity towards a person because you already know it's meant as kind of a welcome.

_____________________________
I'll be honest I've received a snooty or less than warm or uncaring "you're welcome" but I've never personally (so yes this is my experience not necessarily anyone else's) received the same when someone has said "no worries" or "no problem"..so I guess as long as they said "you're welcome" I'm supposed to have relief that they said what others feel is the only equally polite response to me saying "thank you"?

Yup, that's what I wrote.
Does my opinion bother you that much?

 

[SirDuff]

To me it's not even an older person thing. My step-father-in-law (in his early 60s) and my mother (who is 58) have said "not a problem" or "no worries" or "no problem". I've heard the sayings from all different ages. But the DIS is the only place that I had heard people have a problem with those sayings. And that's not me being mean at all. I geniunely didn't even know people had an issue with it and saw it as impolite until reading various threads over time on here.

And here (Switzerland/France) the equivalent of "no problem" is the standard/expected response. I often use "Je vous en prie", but that's considered more formal than "De rien" and is less usual. It actually got me a weird look the other day when I said it to a child (maybe 10-years-old) when she thanked me for grabbing her raft in the river. I clearly marked myself as foreign using it (especially since I used "vous" rather than "tu"). But I also use "Merci Bien" instead of "Merci Beaucoup" (trying to change that, but years of imprint there), so I'm a weirdo.

I've never worried (or even really thought about) how someone acknowledges my thanks (other than now looking to see the "De rien"/"Je vous en prie" split - out of interest).

 

[ronandannette]

Our ground beef, Babybel Cheese bites, Oranges, Kettle Chips box of small bags. Dempsters bread, Dh's pants, Prime Rib roasts, steaks, and Dh's Glucosamine-Chondroitine. For the most part. Dh takes a list when he grocery shops. Tried chocolate covered blueberries, cranberries ie once.

"Sorry", but I think maybe you intended this for the Costco thread.

 

[ShellieMimi]

Yup, that's what I wrote.
Does my opinion bother you that much?

But which one IS your opinion? It changed five times.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yup, that's what I wrote.
Does my opinion bother you that much?

No not at all-as you said to another poster earlier I'm not losing sleep over it.

But I couldn't tell what really was your stance considering it adjusted over time. Or at the very least it went from "it seems so condesending" to "you already know it's meant as kind of a welcome" So sounds like you are actively choosing to view it as condensending when you already understand that a person saying it doesn't have some ulterior motive or something nefarious going on when someone responds with "no worries" or "no problem". Hey I'm not trying to adjust your way of thinking; I'm just looking at what you commented on.

It's an interesting discussion really to say the least.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

And here (Switzerland/France) the equivalent of "no problem" is the standard/expected response. I often use "Je vous en prie", but that's considered more formal than "De rien" and is less usual. It actually got me a weird look the other day when I said it to a child (maybe 10-years-old) when she thanked me for grabbing her raft in the river. I clearly marked myself as foreign using it (especially since I used "vous" rather than "tu"). But I also use "Merci Bien" instead of "Merci Beaucoup" (trying to change that, but years of imprint there), so I'm a weirdo.

I've never worried (or even really thought about) how someone acknowledges my thanks (other than now looking to see the "De rien"/"Je vous en prie" split - out of interest).

So all of my french classes I took (I must admit I speak very little french nowadays too rusty) in middle school, high school and college "De rien" was the response given. I believe we learned the more formal way as well for knowledge it's just that we didn't speak that nor did my teachers and professors say the more formal way.

I do remember the interesting vous vs tu discussions in french classes.

Yeah I've never worried either nor thought about it as I mentioned upthread but this is interesting to learn other people's expectations (really neat to learn how other countries as well). I'm more into I guess how you say something rather than the exact wording used. I'd rather have a friendly or upbeat, or otherwise gracious "no worries" or "no problem" than a rude, disinterested or otherwise not so nice "you're welcome" anyday. Though that's just my personal viewpoint.

 

[gemini2727]

No not at all-as you said to another poster earlier I'm not losing sleep over it.

But I couldn't tell what really was your stance considering it adjusted over time. Or at the very least it went from "it seems so condesending" to "you already know it's meant as kind of a welcome" So sounds like you are actively choosing to view it as condensending when you already understand that a person saying it doesn't have some ulterior motive or something nefarious going on when someone responds with "no worries" or "no problem". Hey I'm not trying to adjust your way of thinking; I'm just looking at what you commented on.

It's an interesting discussion really to say the least.

It is, I don't mind discussing at all.

My stance hasn't changed, I meant what I wrote. Maybe I didn't express myself well or fully in each post.

You're welcome means, obviously, you're welcome, or happy to help you, like that. No Worries to me sounds like "don't worry, you're not bothering me." That I never liked, it doesn't have the same spirit as You're welcome, and how it came to be used instead doesn't make sense to me. That doesn't mean it's a huge deal or that I think the person saying it is nasty or that I'll react to it in any way. I was just airing a pet peeve about language usage.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It is, I don't mind discussing at all.

My stance hasn't changed, I meant what I wrote. Maybe I didn't express myself well or fully in each post.

You're welcome means, obviously, you're welcome, or happy to help you, like that. No Worries to me sounds like "don't worry, you're not bothering me." That I never liked, it doesn't have the same spirit as You're welcome, and how it came to be used instead doesn't make sense to me. That doesn't mean it's a huge deal or that I think the person saying it is nasty or that I'll react to it in any way. I was just airing a pet peeve about language usage.

But I think if you realize already, which you seem to, that people are just saying it as a variation if you will of "you're welcome" it seems trival I guess to still feel like it's condenscending-you say you don't think the person is nasty but you also say it seems condenscending so it still sounds like you view the person negatively if they say it. But hey that's just my opinion. "No worries" and "No problem" are hardly new (decades and decades old) though yes it's said a lot more in recent enough years. But to your point you're obviously, as I have come to find out from the Boards, hardly the only person to feel that way.

 

[gemini2727]

But I think if you realize already, which you seem to, that people are just saying it as a variation if you will of "you're welcome" it seems trival I guess to still feel like it's condenscending-you say you don't think the person is nasty but you also say it seems condenscending so it still sounds like you view the person negatively if they say it. But hey that's just my opinion. "No worries" and "No problem" are hardly new (decades and decades old) though yes it's said a lot more in recent enough years. But to your point you're obviously, as I have come to find out from the Boards, hardly the only person to feel that way.

I'll agree with you it's trivial, that's why it's a pet peeve, really. I was at lunch today and the very kind waiter said No problem! multiple times. i was laughing in my head thinking of this thread...again, not a huge deal in my life, just giving my thoughts, I like You're welcome better.

But thanks for the discussion...(go ahead, i know you want to say it...)

 

[kimblebee]

I think it's over kill I can understand stand one thank you for your business

My background is in customer service and we are always told to say thank you when someone gives us information we ask for. It's second nature for me now but I do agree it can sometimes become overkill.

 

[ronandannette]

My background is in customer service and we are always told to say thank you when someone gives us information we ask for. It's second nature for me now but I do agree it can sometimes become overkill.

Just had an exchange like this today, and it's basically an everyday occurrence:
Cashier: Hi, how's your day going?
Me: Fine thanks, how are you?
Cashier: Fine, thanks. Did you find everything you were looking for here today?
Me: Yes thanks, except I couldn't find XXX.
Cashier: Oh, sorry - I'll have somebody grab it for you.
Me: Thanks.
(Clerk brings the item)
Me: Sorry - thanks.
Cashier: How would you like to pay?
Me: Debit please.
Cashier: Thanks, go ahead when you're ready.
(Hands me the debit terminal)
Me: Thanks.
Cashier: Would you like the receipt in the bag?
Me: Yes, thanks.
(Passes me the bags)
Cashier: Thanks.
Me: Thanks, good day.

Tons of "thanks", a couple "sorrys" but nobody ever did say "you're welcome".

 

[kimblebee]

Just had an exchange like this today, and it's basically an everyday occurrence:
Cashier: Hi, how's your day going?
Me: Fine thanks, how are you?
Cashier: Fine, thanks. Did you find everything you were looking for here today?
Me: Yes thanks, except I couldn't find XXX.
Cashier: Oh, sorry - I'll have somebody grab it for you.
Me: Thanks.
(Clerk brings the item)
Me: Sorry - thanks.
Cashier: How would you like to pay?
Me: Debit please.
Cashier: Thanks, go ahead when you're ready.
(Hands me the debit terminal)
Me: Thanks.
Cashier: Would you like the receipt in the bag?
Me: Yes, thanks.
(Passes me the bags)
Cashier: Thanks.
Me: Thanks, good day.

Tons of "thanks", a couple "sorrys" but nobody ever did say "you're welcome".

Anyone who wants to become a Canadian should have to learn this by heart. It's soooo Canadian lol