Good luck! I suspect that you're right ab. the attorneys being afraid of the company... I think it's a good idea to explore your options with diff. attorneys more versed in discrimination and federal law (the Americans with Disabilities Act, in particular). I also think the company is giving your husband the runaround-- they've changed stories so much already. Moreover, I would keep an eye out for other employees around the office to see if they're being let go as well...I hear that that particular company your husband works for is going through some troubles, so this may be their way of downsizing without really having to commit to their employees and admit that they have an impending financial problem. This is when you wish a union was involved...
As for your son, I agree with previous posters. I would contact the schools and see if you can get some sort of guidance on what you can do now, instead of later. When I applied to college I went through a similar personal tragedy right when I was in the decision process, and the school I ultimately chose sent me a new financial aid package within hours, and other schools told me what the probabilities were of getting more aid. My sister is also graduating this year, and we've been in contact with the financial aid offices, and they've been pretty responsive.
I hope everything works out!!