Gradual release

[bjscheel]

DD23 did a community college program and paid her rent/groceries/etc while we paid for the car/gas/insurance/phone. She graduated in May 2019 and turned 21 in September 2019. So DH said when she turned 21 she would take over the car expense so she had the summer to work on getting a full time job after college. At the time it was a paid-for car but sadly she ended up needing to buy one by December- she managed though and was even able to pay it off in 2.5 years! We continue to keep her on the health insurance till she has that as a benefit, and phone plan because it's not a big deal.

DD20 did a four year college and also paid her rent/groceries/etc and some tuition herself. It turns out she will graduate immediately before turning 21. So DH says when she turns 21 she should take over the payments for the Jeep we bought her. I'm holding the line that she gets to the end of the year before she has to do that. If her sister got 5 months from graduation to taking on car expenses, then that's the fair way, not just 21st birthday no matter when graduation is. He should be happy she completed a 4 year degree at 20 and saved him another full year of partially supporting her.

 

[cvjw]

Most definitely gradual release. Oldest son is 26, so he has to buy his own health insurance now. At his new job, it is only $30 per month. We pay his car insurance and his cell phone plan, and help him out as needed. He has a great paying job, owns his own home and bought a new car last year that he pays the payment on.

Younger son just graduated UGA and got his first job. He lives at home with us, rent free so he can save his money for a house. We pay for everything for him except his health insurance (free at his job), his gas and anything personal he buys. We will wean him off when he moves out on his own.

We pay for all family vacations, and max out a Roth IRA each year for them. We want to help them as much as possible.

 

[mjkacmom]

Here are the pay scales here. Of course, this is the DIS where some think earning $150,000 a year is still a middle class salary.
https://www.sanjuan.edu/cms/lib/CA01902727/Centricity/domain/116/documents/salary schedules/certificated salaries/2021-22_SJTA_Cert_Teachers_Sal_Schedule_07.01.2021.pdf

Because there are folks here where $150,000 IS a middle class salary…

 

[DLgal]

Because there are folks here where $150,000 IS a middle class salary…

I was gonna say that, but he will just come back and tell us all how he was able to buy a yacht and a private island on his 5 figure salary in 1985, so he doesn't understand how someone making $150,000 can't afford to buy a house in 2022.

 

[Southernmiss]

Depends on the young adult and their path.

Our oldest did his 4 years of college and graduated from grad school the year after. He got married that summer, got a good job and hasn't looked back. During college we covered health and auto insurance and cell phone. He was self sufficient otherwise.

2nd son went to pharmacy school. We covered same expenses as son #1 plus paid on student loans for his last 3 years. After 7 years of college- the length of his program- he just got his 1st professional job. He has asked how much we pay for his phone, car and health insurance so he can do his budget and is about to take those over.

He rents an affordable apartment with a college friend. Lives very simply and will focus on saving and paying off student loans for the next year. And will wait out the crazy pricing for houses

Son #3 is a college graduate applying for medical school now and living at home and working 12 hour shifts as an ER tech until we know what his next steps will be.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Forensic science folks make $28K to start as forensic techs, so we are ready to have to help my daughter for her 1st few years. I keep trying to encourage her to look at teaching b/c she'd make double the salary for fewer workweeks/year and have a chance to be on her own in 1-2 years (vs the 3-5 we're planning if she sticks to her guns)...

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Our two have graduated college and are beginning their careers. DD is working in her field full time and just about halfway through her Master’s program. DS is working full time, just completed additional career training and is about to take the national licensing exam. They’re working hard so we don’t mind continuing to help out in ways that we can so they can build a savings to try to buy their own homes. (Median prices here just surpassed $600K.) Both are living at home and paying room and board as well as helping out, so we can’t complain. DD carries her own insurance and DS will as soon as he gets a job in the field he’s pursuing. Both have retirement accounts started and are paying their bills (car, school loans, etc.). DD got her own phone plan but I think was taken for a ride on it, unfortunately. Live and learn. I’d say it’s a somewhat gradual process for many today, especially the way the economy is. It wasn’t that way for DH or I so we are glad to be able to do things a little differently for them. If they were bumming around, we might feel differently.

 

[tvguy]

I was gonna say that, but he will just come back and tell us all how he was able to buy a yacht and a private island on his 5 figure salary in 1985, so he doesn't understand how someone making $150,000 can't afford to buy a house in 2022.

Well, yes, I have always lived within my means, probably because I never bought a yacht, or a private island. And yes, people have the freedom to spend their money how they want. And I defer to the financial advisors and credit counselors who work with people earning $150,000 a year who don't understand why these folks can't buy a house in 2022.

 

[QueenIsabella]

When our oldest, also a teacher, graduated, she was ready to fly. We did keep her on our health insurance for a couple years, and still pay for her cell phone. But, that's been it. She's had her own car (just bought a new-to-her one), paid her own insurance, had roommates, and so forth. She moved in with her boyfriend last month, and is finishing up grad school (which, again, she paid for).

We did just get back from a nice vacation that we paid for, and she and her boyfriend came with us. But, that was our choice--we wanted to spend time with them.

Now, DS25 is a different story--he's autistic and has anxiety and depression. He may never launch. But, he's working full-time, going to college part-time, and pays us rent, which we've been throwing into a Roth for him.

DD19 went to the close-by branch of State U. Even though she lives on campus, it saves a bundle--enough for us to fund law school. She has access to a crappy car (that she loves!). She and her brother both pay for gas. The plan is for her to totally separate after law school.

 

[DLgal]

Well, yes, I have always lived within my means, probably because I never bought a yacht, or a private island. And yes, people have the freedom to spend their money how they want. And I defer to the financial advisors and credit counselors who work with people earning $150,000 a year who don't understand why these folks can't buy a house in 2022.

Dude, stop. There are a multitude of reasons why a household making $150,000/year cannot afford to buy a house, particularly when a house costs $1 million (which is the median home price in my county now).

Tell me how long it would take you to save up a $200,000 down payment on a take home salary of about $8000 when you also have to pay rent, groceries, gas, utilities, insurance, etc.

Not everyone lives in a place where houses are affordable. In those areas, a $150,000 salary is paycheck to paycheck living.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, yes, I have always lived within my means, probably because I never bought a yacht, or a private island. And yes, people have the freedom to spend their money how they want. And I defer to the financial advisors and credit counselors who work with people earning $150,000 a year who don't understand why these folks can't buy a house in 2022.

Well, my financial advisor (who I also sleep with every night) can and does understand, and he also makes more than $150,000, never bought a private island of yacht (but did purchase a 2020 recently, the newest car he’s ever owned, since his 2007 Honda literally died in the street).

 

[tvguy]

Dude, stop. There are a multitude of reasons why a household making $150,000/year cannot afford to buy a house, particularly when a house costs $1 million (which is the median home price in my county now).

Tell me how long it would take you to save up a $200,000 down payment on a take home salary of about $8000 when you also have to pay rent, groceries, gas, utilities, insurance, etc.

Not everyone lives in a place where houses are affordable. In those areas, a $150,000 salary is paycheck to paycheck living.

Nothing is ever absolute. But remember, I live in one of the most expensive states for housing and people buy houses on less income than that every day. And with a lot less than 20% down.

 

[daisy2013]

Dude, stop. There are a multitude of reasons why a household making $150,000/year cannot afford to buy a house, particularly when a house costs $1 million (which is the median home price in my county now).

Tell me how long it would take you to save up a $200,000 down payment on a take home salary of about $8000 when you also have to pay rent, groceries, gas, utilities, insurance, etc.

Not everyone lives in a place where houses are affordable. In those areas, a $150,000 salary is paycheck to paycheck living.

seriously $150,000 has a monthly take home after taxes of $3486. The median house price in my town (middle class with good schools decent taxes for NJ) is $638,000. Assuming you can put 20% down, that a mortage payment of about $2741. Leaving you with $800 give or take for taxes, health insurance, car insurance, food, medicine etc. One town next to me has lower priced houses but school are not so great and much higher taxes. The town on the other side slightly lower $621,000 but schools are not as great.

 

[indimom]

As long as they're working and taking an active role in building their futures, we will help them.

Our daughter is 25 and working on her doctorate in chemistry. She's still driving the older car we gave her in high school. She pays her rent and living expenses from her stipend. She does have her own apartment by choice which makes her budget pretty tight. She has health insurance, but we still help with her out-of-pocket costs because she has a chronic condition that can be costly.
Our son is 22 and in the Air Force currently. He also pays his rent and living expenses. He has a car he bought and paid for last year. He shares a house with two other guys from the Air Force. He plans to leave the AF this fall and is going to get his CDL and get a job driving (which he figures will pay the bills until he figures out what he wants to do with his life.) He's still really unsure about his long-term goals. He plans to stay in Arizona because his rent is cheap and the living situation ideal, and he figures that gives him time to figure things out "on his own."
We still cover both their phones on our plan and don't ask for reimbursement. It's basically an annual Christmas gift from us to them. We're taking a vacation this fall and treating both of them. That was our personal choice because we wanted them to join us; and, didn't want it to be a burden on them.

We are willing to help in any way we can as long as they are making a solid effort and making good choices. That's all we ask.

 

[mjkacmom]

seriously $150,000 has a monthly take home after taxes of $3486. The median house price in my town (middle class with good schools decent taxes for NJ) is $638,000. Assuming you can put 20% down, that a mortage payment of about $2741. Leaving you with $800 give or take for taxes, health insurance, car insurance, food, medicine etc. One town next to me has lower priced houses but school are not so great and much higher taxes. The town on the other side slightly lower $621,000 but schools are not as great.

And the property taxes on a $600,000 home is $16,000+, my 1500 square foot home (no central a/c) has a $500 monthly utility bill for gas and electric. Yearly car insurance $4000+.

 

[kymom99]

seriously $150,000 has a monthly take home after taxes of $3486. The median house price in my town (middle class with good schools decent taxes for NJ) is $638,000. Assuming you can put 20% down, that a mortage payment of about $2741. Leaving you with $800 give or take for taxes, health insurance, car insurance, food, medicine etc. One town next to me has lower priced houses but school are not so great and much higher taxes. The town on the other side slightly lower $621,000 but schools are not as great.

Your math is off

 

[dvcgirl67]

Because there are folks here where $150,000 IS a middle class salary…

Very true...would be tough to raise a family on less in parts of this country for sure.

To the OP....I like the sound of "gradual release". It all sounds really reasonable to me and a good sort of "helping hand"....as you said, mostly things that are covered or a small amount anyway. Sounds like your daughter is on her way!

 

[kdonnel]

seriously $150,000 has a monthly take home after taxes of $3486.

Not sure that is accurate.

https://www.adp.com/resources/tools/calculators/salary-paycheck-calculator.aspx

Plugging in an annual salary of $150,000 paid monthly, assuming married filing jointly, taxes in the state of GA, monthly benefits of $250 medical, $30 dental, $15 vision, $210 FSA, and 6% into a 401k results in a take home paycheck of $8465.83.

 

[mjkacmom]

Your math is off

The math is off, I think my husband gets about $6000 a month after taxes, 401k contribution, health insurance - pretty much everything that can be taken out, and he does get a significant bonus that we depend on but shouldn’t. But if you do the math on a $600,000 starter home with property taxes, it’s still not an upper class situation.

 

[DLgal]

seriously $150,000 has a monthly take home after taxes of $3486. The median house price in my town (middle class with good schools decent taxes for NJ) is $638,000. Assuming you can put 20% down, that a mortage payment of about $2741. Leaving you with $800 give or take for taxes, health insurance, car insurance, food, medicine etc. One town next to me has lower priced houses but school are not so great and much higher taxes. The town on the other side slightly lower $621,000 but schools are not as great.

Gonna assume you meant $8436.