Im really thinking about jumping.....advice please!

[disneycrazi]

Ok so really need help, advice, guidance....from any of you that are either at stay at home moms/dads or anyone who went from full time to part time. How did you decide to do it, did you plan ahead, did you just do it and work it out later? How do you still vaca and afford it. Was it worth it? Basically give me your story. Contemplating a life change.....thanks in advance

 

[mommyof3princess27]

First, Id change the title a little... I was like OH NO! Anyway second, i am a WAHM but I looked at the budget and for me the benefits out weighed the negatives. We found other ways to save for our vacations!

 

[ldo]

I went from no kids (full time) to PT (4 days with 1st child) to 3 days (next child). PT is both the best and worst of both worlds. With PT, I always feel like the house is not quite picked up, etc., and at work (I work on cases/long term projects), I feel like I am never quite getting enough done. But, with that said, I love it!!! It gives me time to be a Mom, volunteer, have my kids in scouts, sports, etc. I try to schedule most Dr appts for my off days.
If you have the option, definitely drop to PT 1st, and see how it goes--the pain of less $$$ is not as traumatic as no $$$. If after a year, you are fine with $$$ and you want more time at home, then you can always quit---but once you quit, you can't always go back.
Lastly, childcare at centers is usually almost the same $$ for 3 day as as 5 days (esp. for 2 and under). I put out lots of feelers, esp. at preschools and churches, asking for someone wanting PT childcare job and we found a church nursery worker who was our nanny for 3X a week for 3 years! good luck. Elaine

 

[disneycrazi]

First, Id change the title a little... I was like OH NO! Anyway second, i am a WAHM but I looked at the budget and for me the benefits out weighed the negatives. We found other ways to save for our vacations!

Sorry meant jump careers, I will change it, really didnt think how it looked..thanks for your reply......

 

[trinchick]

I went down to four days a week, which is a good balance for me. My employer and I are both flexible about time, which makes it work out really well. For instance, if there's a deadline that requires me to work on a day I'd normally be out, I'm happy to help out and just take my day off another time. Similarly, if I have to take the kids to the doctor or something, I can juggle the schedule at work with no problem.

Financially, since it was just a 20% cut, it hasn't made a huge difference in our lives, but we're fortunately quite comfortable, so I know that wouldn't be the same for everyone.

As for vacations, I hit the jackpot. My company gives me 4 weeks vacation/year at the rate of 40 hours/week, but I only have to use 32 hours when I take a week, based on my schedule. So in essence I actually gained a week of paid vacation by cutting my hours. Plus I have to take less time since I can use my unpaid day for appointments and such.

My advice would be to talk to your employer and see how receptive they are to a reduced schedule or other arrangements. It may be possible to work at home some or just cut back a little and still keep on track financially while capturing extra time with the kids.

Oh, and another consideration is childcare if you go part-time. Make sure you can find part-time childcare and that it's affordable. I actually pay for five days of care but only send DS for four days. Holding the slot for all five days allows for the flexibility to change my days as I said above. But I also was having a hard time finding anyone who offered part time care.

 

[wiigirl]

Sorry meant jump careers, I will change it, really didnt think how it looked..thanks for your reply......

 

[jennyjinx3]

I went from no kids (full time) to PT (4 days with 1st child) to 3 days (next child). PT is both the best and worst of both worlds. With PT, I always feel like the house is not quite picked up, etc., and at work (I work on cases/long term projects), I feel like I am never quite getting enough done. But, with that said, I love it!!! It gives me time to be a Mom, volunteer, have my kids in scouts, sports, etc. I try to schedule most Dr appts for my off days.
If you have the option, definitely drop to PT 1st, and see how it goes--the pain of less $$$ is not as traumatic as no $$$. If after a year, you are fine with $$$ and you want more time at home, then you can always quit---but once you quit, you can't always go back.
Lastly, childcare at centers is usually almost the same $$ for 3 day as as 5 days (esp. for 2 and under). I put out lots of feelers, esp. at preschools and churches, asking for someone wanting PT childcare job and we found a church nursery worker who was our nanny for 3X a week for 3 years! good luck. Elaine

I agree with you... I am a SAHM who works part time and it works for us. DH and I don't have as much time together but we make it work. It is worth it right now.

 

[Gr8t Fan]

We made the decision 12 years ago that DH would stay home full time with the kids. At the time we were trying to decide whether or not to have a third child (we have since had one more for a total of 4) and I told him I was ok with having a third if he would stay home with them full-time. It hasn't always been easy $wise, but the trade-offs have been well worth it to us. DH does most of the grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. and we try to save $$ where we can. Being able to shop the sales and cook most of our meals from home is a huge $saver. Vacations are a line item in our budget and we set aside $$ for them monthly, but I have to confess that vacations are the first thing to be scaled back or go entirely when things are tight. We did have a rather large emergency fund set up before we took the plunge, and sometimes I worry about $, but I'm a worrier and I even worried about $ when we were both working. Good luck to you in your decision!

 

[HM]

At my office, full time is 37.5 hours a week and you work 8:30-5. We do have the opportuntity to flex our schedule. When I changed jobs within my office years ago, I went from full to part-time at 32.5 hours. Still have the same benefits. I was also able to set my hours and skip the lunch break, so now I work 7:30-2. My kids were in school from 7:30-2:30 during middle and HS, so I was able to take them to school before it started and pick them up after it was over and be at after-school activities. At the same time, my DH took a job that paid more, so even with my cutting my salary, we were still coming out ahead. It really was ideal.

 

[FreeTime]

I went from working 50 hours a week in an office to 30-40 hours at home earlier this year where I can make my own hours to be there for the kids. This was a huge cut in income for us. However, before doing this we planned well in advance for this change. Paid off all of our bills with the exception of the mortgage. It has been worth it! I no longer have the stress of the job. The downside is that I don't have the people interaction. Concerning vacations, we still budget for them and actually planned a LONGER vacation because 1) it was more cost effective 2) finally had the flexibility to do so. So instead of vacationing 3-5 times a year, we will have one long one in the summer and then DH will go with me on my work conferences. Good luck!

 

[barkley]

this was quite a few years ago, but the big factor (financially) for us was when I had a talk with our cpa and had her run the numbers for what we would net if I went from 40 to 30 hours per week (I wanted to work no more than 6 hours per day because then I was not required to take an unpaid lunch break each day). result was we ended up with nearly the same income (moved us into a lower tax bracket). ultimately we ended up financially ahead because since I wasn't taking lunch breaks at work I wasn't spending for the occasional lunch out (I liked to brown bag but there were the unit bday lunches, holiday lunches...), we were able to reduce our daycare expenses, and there were far fewer evenings when dh and I were both exhausted and opted to take the kids for fast food or a pizza.


if you are considering entirely ending employment crunch the numbers (and be realistic). think about work expenses that are regular (commute, tolls, wear/tear on vehicle/daycare) and irregular (bday luncheons, pot luck contributions, office collections, clothes you never use other than for work/daycare teacher gifts/party food contributions...) it all adds up.

with the economic downturn allot of parents lost their jobs, and many I've talked to came to the realization that when they ended up no longer paying for daycare (or afterschool care), and work expenses, and convenience items (quick dinner items/fast food/premade lunch items cuz you have no time to make them when you're working) many were financially at the same level they were when they were employed (some came to the realization that they had been paying out more than they brought in).

 

[brymolmom]

I went from no kids (full time) to PT (4 days with 1st child) to 3 days (next child). PT is both the best and worst of both worlds. With PT, I always feel like the house is not quite picked up, etc., and at work (I work on cases/long term projects), I feel like I am never quite getting enough done. But, with that said, I love it!!! It gives me time to be a Mom, volunteer, have my kids in scouts, sports, etc. I try to schedule most Dr appts for my off days.
If you have the option, definitely drop to PT 1st, and see how it goes--the pain of less $$$ is not as traumatic as no $$$. If after a year, you are fine with $$$ and you want more time at home, then you can always quit---but once you quit, you can't always go back.
Lastly, childcare at centers is usually almost the same $$ for 3 day as as 5 days (esp. for 2 and under). I put out lots of feelers, esp. at preschools and churches, asking for someone wanting PT childcare job and we found a church nursery worker who was our nanny for 3X a week for 3 years! good luck. Elaine

WOW - I could have written this post. I feel (and have always said) the EXACT same way. I always tell people that have have the guilt of a full time parent since I don't feel like I do enough at home at the same time have the guilt of not pulling as much weight at work as FT people.

Like you, that said - i wouldn't change it. Although I am about to change it up by adding a 4th day now that both my kids are in Middle School and we don't need any childcare.

We started out this way when our first child was born...Just looked at our situation...DH has a good job, wanted someone at home some of the time and it just worked out to being able to work PT. I will tell you that I likely WOULDN'T have done it unless the perfect PT situation came up. I was able to continue my work as a computer programmer on a PT basis, which has been HUGE. I don't know if I would have done it for a chunk less money though, which you often find with PT positions. As pp mentioned, you often have to pay more for daycare (as if full time). In home daycare options work best for allowing a Per day basis. Summers are tough though...Now that we have no daycare during the year - finding 3 days per week in the summer (without paying for expensive sports camps every single week for all 5 days) is tricky. But college kids work out well sometimes.

Anyway - to OP, if you have the right situation I say go for it. And if you go for part-time, IMO shorter days often work better than fewer longer ones. I get out at 3pm every day so was able to be home for the bus and it is SO CONVENIENT to be able to have dinner on the table at 5:00pm on swimming or soccer nights (when they have to be to practice or games by 6pm) and to be able to schedule all the dentist and well child appointments on my day(s) off.

 

[IUTBAM]

I quit 20.5 years ago three weeks before my oldest was born, and never regretted it. We made some good real estate decisions (the market was FAR better then than it is now, obviously), and that gave us a nice cushion. But we lived frugally (it wasn't a sacrifice to do so...that's just how we are wired even now, and I was not bringing in a huge salary anyway). DH's salary at the time I originally became a SAHM was FAR FAR less than it is now (he makes roughly 5 times the salary now that he made 20 years ago when I became a SAHM), so there were some lean years. We didn't take a real vacation post-kid until our oldest was four, and our youngest was 2 (to WDW, and we saved and budgeted, and even managed to stay on-site at WL for a week). It's all in what your priorities are. Ours were to have me home for the kids and doing the domestic/mom thing so that my DH could focus on his career while he was at work, and focus on the family when he was home. It's worked out well for us.

 

[disneycrazi]

You all are amazing and I am reading every post with deep consideration. I feel like I need to slow down, the world is running way too fast and I'm missing the good stuff!

 

[susanv]

Became a full time SAHM June 2012 and it is the best thing I could have possibly done for my family and myself. I was not happy about it though for the first year. I did not take pride in my home or my being at home. Have been working since I was 9 years old and I felt like I had no worth since I had no "job". We did however get $200 further ahead than when I had been driving a school bus. We did not eat out so much so we saved a lot of money! Still working on the budget thing but we are definitely on our way.

We tend to spend WAY too much on vacationing, but that is going to change this year. We have done a week of Disney for 4 for under $3000, so I know it is possible to not spend as much as we do now (including $1000 plus on travel expenses).

Having the freedom to make life go slower and be enjoyed more for the whole family is priceless. The kids can't do as many classes & activities, instead we spend more time together and play soccer outside or make a skating rink in the backyard in winter and then have homemade hot chocolate afterwards. One of our kids has Aspergers and another has Anxiety Disorders with possible ADHD, possible Aspergers, and possible Learning Disorder. More money outgoing soon for the final diagnosis. However the change of pace and more routine (due to less activities) has really helped them be more content.

I pray that you will find the answer you need.

Susan

 

[DisneyFansInLINY]

I am a SAHM. I worked full time during my 1st pregnancy and went on to work part time when my daughter was born. However, it was hard to balance being a new mom and working. Plus I had unreliable childcare and so I was laid off. This was during the beginning of the recession and it was hard. Luckily, I was able to collect unemployment for a good amount of time. But we had to stop renting and move into my in-law's house.

I have learned to use coupons as well as sacrifice a lot in order to make ends meet, save money and vacation. There is a lot of useful information on the internet that can help you accomplish your goals.

But of above all, being able to stay home with kids or work part time is worth all of the effort. As you will never get this time with them back. So enjoy it and good luck to you.

 

[crisi]

I quit in June. I had a full time six figure a year job. My husband took a new job (in July I saw him home for four days - for the rest of the month he was out of the country) and we decided if his job was going to be that demanding, someone needed to raise teenagers. My son has had some challenges with school, so in addition to staying home, I'm homeschooling him through ninth grade right now (he fell in with the wrong crowd, school became unimportant - so keeping him away from his friends and giving him one on one attention are both important, we weren't getting that from the school).

We were well situated for me to quit - the salary increase from his new job took care of about half of my lost salary. We'd been putting aside a lot of money for the kids college educations, and they were basically funded, so we stopped doing that. We had several years of income stashed in the stock market, and our retirement funds are pretty well funded.

Obviously, I'm probably in a different spot than you are. We were pretty financially stable before I left, and even without my income, we still have a substantial household income. I worked when my kids were little, and saved most of my income so we aren't worried about financing retirement or college - and I would have made a lousy stay at home mom to little kids - playdoh isn't my thing - algebra is.

So yes, we still vacation, but we really didn't loose any disposable income - just moved some around.

Worth it - yep. Especially given my son's current set of challenges and my husbands insane work schedule. However, I'm not sure it would be worth it if I were worried about retirement funds and college and mortgage payments

 

[NYCDiane]

I've worked full time my entire life, including when I had my daughter. I couldn't work a traditional day job (9-5) because I had no one to help to care for her and I didn't want to put her in day care.

I ended up working evenings/nights doing call center work. I took a loss in salary. I was a complete zombie, working 6pm - 2am, getting home at 230am, not getting to sleep until close to 4am and then being up with a baby/toddler by 630 or 7am. I couldn't even function and it seriously affected my health ---- to this day, I have chronic health problems due to the stress, etc that it all caused.

Vacations? NEVER had a vacation!!!

I can tell you, from my experience, it completely sucked. Even when she got to school age, I still had to work evenings/nights because of all the half days, days off, school vacations, etc etc etc etc.

She's a teen now and in high school. I can finally get a "real job". My only problem is that my resume is destroyed by all the crappy "call center" work I've done for the past 14 years. No professional office is going to hire a "call center" person unless you're going to come in as "entry level" and want crap wages ($12/hour)

I would never, EVER do it again!!! If I had a "do over" in my life, I would choose a mate who could support a family and I could stay at home and be with my child and be a full time mother.

 

[AgentB]

Hi. DD is now 3. I worked FT until a couple of months before she was born. When my husband and I decided to try to have a child, we talked and agreed that I would stay home with her because he didn't have the option of quitting his job (military). At least until she began attending school full time.

At the time, I made almost twice what he did so our income decreased dramatically. Luckily, we had been smart about money and didn't have any debt. My friends told me I wouldn't last a year not working. They were wrong. I have loved being home with my DD.

We don't drive brand new cars, we don't eat out often (maybe once or twice a month), I don't get massages/facials weekly (only if I get a gift certificate for my birthday or Christmas now), I'm the housekeeper now. But we put money where we think it's important. We bought a house in the best school district in our area. I buy healthy and fresh food. I started a savings account for our Disney trip (which is sadly postponed because my BIL has a terminal illness and when the time comes, we will use that money on last minute plane tickets to fly there).

But I don't regret the decision at all. All of the things I am living without really don't amount to much. I wouldn't trade back for all the money in the world.

If you are in a financial position to make a change, and that's what your heart is telling you, you likely won't regret it.

 

[MinnieForMe]

Hi,
I made the jump from a FT job and a PT second job to no job when my son was born 15 year's ago. We made sure that we had a years salary in savings which took three years to save before we had kids. I've never regretted a minute of being home. Well, that's a lie! I hate all the homework I have to help the kids with. Anyway, my youngest is now in FT school and I'm ready to work PT again. I have kept myself active over the years by volunteering in the schools and in town so I've already had three job offers. Luckily, we are in a "comfortable" position and I can pick a job that will bring me satisfaction not necessarily a lot of money. The extra money will go towards more international vacations.

Which leads me to one of your questions. We did not vacation the first two years of our oldest son's life as I was afraid to spend money. However, once we went down to one income, we were not paying as much in taxes and started receiving a refund. We started using that as our travel fund. We've traveled to Florida almost every year since.

My best advice is to plan ahead and save as much as you can. Budget, Budget, Budget and live below your means for a while before you make the decision if at all possible!