In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[Dizneydawn]

Hi all, Are we all ladies at this point? I am an almost psychologist finishing my final classes for my Ph.D and beginning my dissertation.
While I obviously cannot be a practicing therapist on this thread, I'd be happy to offer myself as the thread counselor and help us all face our obstacles as we figure them out according to our weight goals. As you know I used to own a comedy club, so I'm a little more like Dr. Phil than Dr. Robin. Would that be helpful to anyone?

We can use any and all help IMO!

Wanted to let you know that I did good last night...cheese and meat for appetizers with a small coke. I also had about a cup of popcorn at the game and a few sips of Pepsi.

I just had a relative visit today...explains the Butterfinger heist!!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Hi all, Are we all ladies at this point?

Pretty sure there is one fella here. Something about being voluptous on page 1 or 2.

I'd be happy to offer myself as the thread counselor and help us all face our obstacles as we figure them out according to our weight goals. As you know I used to own a comedy club, so I'm a little more like Dr. Phil than Dr. Robin. Would that be helpful to anyone?

I'll take all the help I can get. Starting with...just kidding, for now.

I've got to whip my butt into shape and I want to maximize my time and efforts so it doesn't take another year for me to realize I'm not the person I want to be.

My main goal right now is August. My 11 yr old daughter took hogs as her 4H project to the county fair, and last year it was soooo hot in August. While trying to keep those hogs alive, I was trying to also stay alive. It ain't pretty when you're trying to feed, clean pens, show hogs and try to look good doing it at 50lbs overweight. I actually quit wearing a bra after the second day. I would wear tank tops with a built in bra, because if I wore the real deal, it would be soaked clear thru with sweat by 10am. Then you could smell me before you got to the swine barn. I know this year will be hot too, but I'd like to be able to wear shorts and not be concerned about thigh skin to skin contact, or a sweaty shirt getting caught up in a roll of fat. That's not too freaking much to ask is it? But that means, no 6 bowls of cereal now. (You know when you have milk left, so you add more cereal, then you need more milk, then you add more cereal and pretty soon you've gobbled up 1700 calories in fruit loops and rest of the day is still ahead of you.)

edit to add - I wasn't only wearing the tank top. I'd also wear a tshirt over it. Sorry if I made anyone sick with the first visual.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

We can use any and all help IMO!

Wanted to let you know that I did good last night...cheese and meat for appetizers with a small coke. I also had about a cup of popcorn at the game and a few sips of Pepsi.

I just had a relative visit today...explains the Butterfinger heist!!!!

Good job! I was thinking about you. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi...it's 1:03 a.m. and I am here shaking because I am so angry right now. My son Treyner, is dating a girl name Jenna and they had a huge issue come into their young lives tonight and I need a place to write my feelings.

Jenna and Treyner just are a recent couple...she previously dated a boy named Nate. From what I understand...Nate is a control freak and also is dabbling in drugs...so not the best guy around.

Treyner and Jenna were at a movie and she got a text asking where she was. This was from a boy named Ty...a kid in her grade who is mutual friends of her's and Nates.

She texts ...at the movies with Treyner
He texts...good we are waiting outside
She texts...why
He txts....to kill him
He texts...we have a gun


I cannot tell you what it is like to get a call from a 17 year old child who is so shaken I can barely hear him. I am finding out about this probably 10 minutes after it happens. Like most adolescent boys...he texted his friends to find out if he had anyone who could come to the theater to divert a showdown...I get the fact that he was thinking safety in numbers....but my reality is a whole lot different.

When they left the theater...Nate and Ty had left to wait at Jenna's house...texts and calls flying back and forth...mind you...Jenna's Dad works for the Department of Defense so he is at work and Jenna had called him, asking what to do to make sure they weren't going to hurt someone at her house.

Treyner saw a police car, flagged it over and he was giving details of the situation when I arrived. I was proud he knew it was getting out of control fast...but he is worried now too.

Because it is considered a terroristic threat to say they will kill someone with a gun...these 2 boys are in serious trouble. I can't really find out what happened till Monday when the report is ready and then we have to get Treyner a restraining order.

Ty is saying Nate had his phone and was the one who texted the threats...but Ty is nuts. Suspended a bunch of times, in boxing and ultimate fighting, pulls knives against friends throats at a party trying to be funny...nuts...just nuts. Beein in trouble with the police also and does not care.

Treyner is worried that they will be at school and how do you stop him from attacking Treyner when their classes are by each other all day.

I never thought I would be in a place where I would see my son's name next to the words kill and I have a gun. It is a surreal thing and he wanted to have his best friend over to talk over tonights events. I said yes obviously...but what I want is to hold him and tell him to never go out of this house.

I won't. I haven't but I tell ya what....I have no issues protecting my son and I have never been a fan of retaliation...but the overwhelming sense of helplessness I felt made me want to hit someone. A rage actually and yet at who I don't know.

Treyner is agood kid....he includes people who get picked on...he was just telling me about one of Jenna's friends who is teased and picked on by a lot of boys. he told Jenna to include her in their outings so she knew she had friends. She, I guess, does not go out a lot and has to see a counselor because of the teasing she gets.

I asked him why she got picked on....he said he didn't understand...that she was an attractive girl who he thinks will grow into her features and that she gets acne breakouts but so what..they go away...and that she thinks he is the greatest guy because he is nice to her. Know what his response to her was...
"I am not the greatest guy...I just think that you are a human being and people shoud treat you with respect and if they would just do the right thing life would be better."

That is the type of kid my son is and how he treats other people and now he has some cracked guy who wants to kill him. How does this make sense??

How do I protect him when we all know that restraining orders only go so far. If you have someone who doesn't care about the law...what will that do?

I know I am just rabling....so many emotiions...am so tired but feel the need to stay up ya know??

 

[milestogo]

SCARY

No parent ever wants to deal with this situation, but since you've been thrown into it's in your lap. You can handle this, but make sure that you cover all your bases and don't let any detail slide under the carpet.

Start a log of exactly happened with all dates included with phone numbers and people involved.

Call the principal/headmaster of the school and make sure that the school counselor has been notified. Ask if the counselor is a college counselor or a behavioral/academic counselor. Ask if this is a counselor with a master's degree in psychology, not a person assigned to counseling with a non-behavioral trained degree (like a degree in education.) Many schools have an off campus policy of behavior (esp. if it is a private school.) Ask the principal, "What are all of my options?" We don't need another school massacre and we already have a threat.

Make sure that all phone numbers on both kids’ text/phones have been changed and private numbers are now a must.

Contact all parents of the kids involved with a scripted and gently concerned statement about calming the kids down and a question proposed what can we do to keep the kids away from each other and resolve this problem. Obviously the other boy's parent is the one you are concerned about - who are they to produce a kid that much in trouble.

Ask Jenna's parents what their plan is and be united with them. Are we sure that Jenna has not provoked this for the drama? If she did she may have been surprised at what their response was to her. Don't be afraid to tell your son that it may be time to cool it off with Jenna for a while and protect himself. If he says, "mom, you're overreacting, and then your gut will tell you that you are right."

Ask the police which department specifically will be assigned to this case and who you can stay in touch with and what are your options.

Keep asking each person you talk to: "what are all of my options and what am I overlooking to keep my son safe." Then ask, "What does my son need to do?"

Your son, while being a really good kid with a high EQ (emotional quotient) cannot project the possibilities with his brain. Kid's frontal lobes of their brains do not develop until they are 21-23 and the frontal lobes are what they need to use to deal with reason and judgment. Boy's develop later than girls. So, he needs to be included in the process, but you need to remember that he cannot project the way we can based on our own vast history of experiences.

OK, those are my suggestions. Can you tell that I work in 50 of the most prominent schools in CA? I was lucky to sit in a lecture and get to know the leading crisis response team manager for school massacres in the country at one of the schools I work in in Beverly Hills.

Good luck, let us know how it works for you and don't stress eat. Your blood pressure is raised because of this, so no salt and stick something healthy and crunchy in your mouth to reduce your blood pressure (carrot, celery, nuts and Dr. Oz's recommendation breath strips.)

 

[milestogo]

ops double post

 

[keenercam]

Oh, Dawn, I am so sorry you are all going through this. Treynor sounds like an absolutely amazing kid. I will keep him in my prayers.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Horrible situation. I can't offer any guidance, only to say, I can feel your anger and frustration. Hang in there. Life is so hard.

 

[UrsulasShadow]

Do what MilesToGo suggests. It's a sane plan for dealing with insane circumstances. I have teens, and the drama is incredible. Much of it is just that, DRAMA, but unfortunately, teens have little impulse control, and if they can act on some of what they feel, and have weapons...well, it becomes pretty hairy, as we've seen over and over on the evening news. So take all the logical steps to protect yourselves and your son, and if it seems like overreaction...well, better that than the alternative of wishing you had taken those steps.

My thoughts are with you. Hang in there.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Thanks to all that posted and offered support and great ideas.

I am feeling a little frusterated because I can't get any detail until tomm. Our Police Station is shut down as far as the office goes on the weekend and everything is run out of the county dispatch which is also in our town. I should have got the officers card or something and did not think of that until I was home.

I am planning on not sending Treyner to school on Monday until I get some answers on how they will protect him...both at a school level and at a police level. Here is where the school level is a huge concern.

His counselor is gone until the end gf January and her long term sub is clueless...like not knowing if a class that is re-taken will erase a bad grade and be put in place of the original grade or will the original grade stand and the new grade will just be in addition to. She said call bac at the end of January when the original counselor is there...did not even say...why don't i find that out from some of the other full time counselors.

Then you have his principal for his grade. A retiired football coach just looking for his tenure to retire next year. He is the least motivated person I know and feels kids need to just resolve some issues themselves. For example...when recently pointed out that a teacher has obvious favorites in a class...he told student who is not favored..."well maybe she is friends with that kids parents."

So do I have a lot of hope that they will be pro-active...not so much.

Jenna's Dad will be also attending Mondays meeting with the school and courthouse because he too wants a reastraining order for Jenna. I believe Jenna has handled the situation as well as she could with her age and has said she will try and do everything not to even see Nate or Ty. Again though...you have a high school where Ty, Nate and Jenna are in the same grade....they all have lunch together with Treyner and Jenna moved tables last week when they were back at school to stay away from Nate. He gets up to follow her to put her tray away etc... She was totally shooken last night an she saved the messages in her text in lock posisition.

I know some girls like drama (Treyner has dated a few of those) but she has shown me that she is not like that. I was a school counselorand have a BA in social work so am p retty good at reading people I think. I know I was the type of girl that just wanted everyone to get along...even if there was a break-up but this is just one of those times where there is no rational.



Phone call in coming....

I just talked w/ Jenna's dad and we will be mtg tonight to go over an action plan.

Let ya know more as the saga unfolds.

 

[Debbie]

I don't have anything to add, Dawn, but another for you and Treyner both. It's hard enough raising kids, but when things start to spiral out of our control, it gets down right frightening. At least Jenna's parents seem to be on board with you, so the old 'strength in numbers' starts to come into play. Stay calm, keep a cool head, and get some rest!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Here are some pics of my kids. I know they are monstrous pics....please help me figure out how to downsize them !!! I did not realize they wers so huge!!!

Thought you might like to meet my family!

Carsyn & Baylor are outside on the first day of school this year. Carsyn is 14 and Baylor is 11 1/2.

Treyner's pic is at a USC /Nebraska game...love this pic...unusual I know but I can't believe how old he is!

The three of them is at the Minnesota State Fair this past year on my B-day in August.

 

[Dizneydawn]

So I figured out how to resize!! Lucky you!!

Here is a horrid hair pic of me w/ my brand new niece!!! Skyler Renee! She was born late October so body wise I am the same. I know it is dark but it is the only pic I could find! It was raining out so please forgive the hair helmet!!! Will get better ones soon!!

 

[chbc]

You and your children are beautiful. You have some great advice to follow. Super advice. As far as school contacts, do you have a district website that lists the admins. phone #'s and emails. The assistant principal and principal should be all over this in a big way. A safe way, with a smart reaction. The super and other district employees at the D.O. have assignments here as well. Back to the phone being used by Nate, not Tye. Document everything and keep a journal. The Theatre should have surveillance. The district should have been notified of this threat by the law enforcement office and taken measures for school on Monday. Jenna's Dad is hopefully all over this and join together to be informed and United. Your son flagging down the officer was an appropriate reaction and his quick thinking is reassuring that he is so responsible. The agencies involved and the school district need to react smart as your son did. You are a Mom. You take care of you and your kiddos. Enjoy your beautiful kids tonight. Keep them with you and safe. You need a good nights sleep and the school district should have contacted you if they were contacted about this threat. Do what you can to find a way to make contact and don't send your kids to school until you know what measures have been taken by the law enforcement and the school district. Eat veggies and watch movies, a home movie would be sweet for a double feature. Prayers are with you.

 

[chbc]

The super great advice from milestogo is so helpful, lets get some names out there of good resources. I am going to spell this wrong I know, but Jesus Villhermosa gives a great presentation for a threat on a school campus, anywhere actually. He is/was a state trooper.

Dawn- I wish I could make you a "You" soup-Dr. Oz book. So I'm sending you yummy, healthy, you soup thoughts .

 

[HockeyKat]

I know I am late to the party, but can I join? This seems like a fun group and I need all the weight loss help I can get.

So sorry to hear about your son, Dizneydawn. I hope that it all resolves in the best way possible.

And to those of you who have a size 2 wardrobe?? I don't think my BONES are a size 2!!

 

[chbc]

Welcome HockeyKat! Take it day by day and have a great week.

 

[VernRDH]

Dawn I'm so sorry about the situation with your son. How scary. Let us know how things are going. I will be thinking of you. Stay strong, don't succumb to the evil candy bars!!!

What beautiful children. And you are beautiful too. Thanks for posting the pix.

I will post more later-gotta jet to work! Only 4 days this week, then my cruise with hubby!!!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

I don't have anything to add, Dawn, but another for you and Treyner both. It's hard enough raising kids, but when things start to spiral out of our control, it gets down right frightening. At least Jenna's parents seem to be on board with you, so the old 'strength in numbers' starts to come into play. Stay calm, keep a cool head, and get some rest!

Thank you for your kind words Debbie. I am off to the police dept to try and get a copy of what they are going to do about it legally.

The super great advice from milestogo is so helpful, lets get some names out there of good resources. I am going to spell this wrong I know, but Jesus Villhermosa gives a great presentation for a threat on a school campus, anywhere actually. He is/was a state trooper.

Dawn- I wish I could make you a "You" soup-Dr. Oz book. So I'm sending you yummy, healthy, you soup thoughts .

I will try and look this up...I am also mtg w/ Jenna's parents at the school today so we shall see what they wil do.

I know I am late to the party, but can I join? This seems like a fun group and I need all the weight loss help I can get.

So sorry to hear about your son, Dizneydawn. I hope that it all resolves in the best way possible.

And to those of you who have a size 2 wardrobe?? I don't think my BONES are a size 2!!

There is never a late entrance and yes... please join!!! My size 2 I have chucked...the size 3's though....I am holding out possible hope for!

Dawn I'm so sorry about the situation with your son. How scary. Let us know how things are going. I will be thinking of you. Stay strong, don't succumb to the evil candy bars!!!

What beautiful children. And you are beautiful too. Thanks for posting the pix.

I will post more later-gotta jet to work! Only 4 days this week, then my cruise with hubby!!!!

I think they are pretty cute too....their dad and I did breed well if not anything else! I am so jealous of your trip...can't wait to hear all about it!! Are we wanting kids from this trip?? I had a great friend who got a free cruise from Tupperware and her souveniegr (sp?) was Brecken!! The whole motion of the ocean ya know!!!

I'll try and be my witty self later...will let ya know what happens today as well!

Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts and great advice.!!!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Dizney Dawn to the rescue....

Hi Everyone, I am new to this board having met DizneyDawn through the BL 4 challenge board and after getting all caught up on this thread and I am jumping up and down to have been "buddied" up with her on the BL Challenge.

I am happy to meet all of you and can't wait to get started on losing weight in '08 with the support from all of you.

Dawn - your family and your story are amazing. You are an inspiration to all of us who are trying to take control of our lives again. Rock on girl... My prayers are with you as you and Treynor go through this latest challenge. Keep a level head and you will get through this. Besides, everyone knows that if you start to mess with a cub, moma bear will be there to pull a whole lot of hurt on you....

Now - a little about me, I am 36, single and well fat... I have been on Jenny Craig (eating approx. 1700 calories a day) for about 3 months now and have already lost 25 pounds!!!! Of course, the last few weeks haven't been that great for me thanks to my gallbladder deciding to rebel against me and needing to come out followed by Christmas and New Years, but I still managed to lose 1/2 pound per week for the last three weeks so I haven't gained anything back yet (thankfully). I really want to lose at least another 75 more this year and for the first time in the up and downs of this life long weight loss saga, I honestly feel that I can do it...

I am finding that to win this battle, it truly is a bigger hurdle than just eating less and moving more. When you think about it, you have to overcome your addiction to food, chuck your whole emotional support system out the window and find another one, force this big ole walrus like body to move like a little otter to sweat off the pounds all while trying to balance all of the other fun stuff that life throws at you. Its no wonder we find ourselves here. But the good news is that WE CAN DO IT!!!!! There may be a few bumps in the road (like the nachos I felt the need to eat on Saturday night) but a favorite quote reminds me that "Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal."

So everyone - focus on the goal and you can accomplish anything...

Have a great day everyone....