Is the ship large enough?

[DarleneSutton]

For our anniversary we decided to take our first cruise. My sister In-Law (who I LOVE) and her hubby has an anniversary 21 Days after us and decided to book the same cruise as us! We vacationed last year together and had a great time. Our kids are around the same ages and would have each other on the ship, leaving Mom and Dad to some alone time. Then the bomb hits. My mother in-law decides she will take the cruise with us. Her husband refuses to go with her, so she's bring the girlfriend from ... will you get the picture. My vacation has turned into her vacation. When and were the family will be eating, what we will be doing off the ship! After all she wants to spend time with her family. I know I'm being bad but the kids are older now (2 teens and 1 pre-teen), the cruise was the perfect place for Mom and Dad to enjoy having time with the kids and alone time with each other. Is the ship large enough for me and my mother in-law?

 

[Dreamer04]

Oh Darlene!! Don't worry. There is plenty to do for your mother and her friend. You and your husband will have a wonderful time. Don't forget to check out the Surial Bath!!

All kidding aside, let me give you a little unsolicited advice. My mother lives downstairs from me in her own apartment. I have learned, the hard way, that honesty (with tenderness) is the best policy. Be up front about your needs now, but gently. There will be less hurt feelings and more met expectations, if everyone is clear ahead of time.

Good Luck

By the way, my DM is traveling with me and my husband and two children on our cruise in April. We have discussed what each expects of the other. We're gonna have a ball!

Ursula

 

[fireplug]

I read somewhere DCL was putting a MIL lounge in during drydock

I think it is to called Crabby Seas or something

Seriously Just make sure she understands that you want to have some family time with just your family.

Steve

 

[Masonpips]

I would definitely plan some "family" nights upfront and then tell everyone they're on their own other nights. That way you've set the stage for some time where you're all together without compromising your couple time.

I think everyone feels relieved in that situation because everyone wants to have a good time!

 

[Dreamer04]

Fireplug,
I read somewhere DCL was putting a MIL lounge in during drydock
..LOLOLOL Great Idea!!

 

[DarleneSutton]

Thanks for making me feel better!

 

[kpgclark]

I would tell her that you are happy that she is coming, but you want to let her know that one of the reasons you chose Disney was because of the great children's programming. Tell her you expected to spend some nice alone time with hubby and hope that she understands that you still want to do that.

By the way, I would be upset ESPECIALLY if my MIL was coming and even more if she brought a friend with her. Certainly not a family vacation if you ask me. If she's not a big Disney fan I'd be sure to tell her that you really have to love Disney to take the cruise. Tell her about the character meals, meets, shows etc . Really lay it on thick. You may want to embelish by saying that it is really geared towards children.

 

[Lisa F]

On the other hand, the fact that she is bringing a friend may mean that she already understands that without someone do to things with, she will be a 5th wheel. Seems like she is not planning to spend every minute with you and DH but rather seems like a good opportunity to spend some quality time with her grandkids and have some fun time on her own. I definately think sitting down and hashing out everyone's expectations BEFORE you go is a good idea. I love my MIL dearly but she can be a bit much to take for days on end and I would not do something like this without having a heart to heart about it. Maybe you can all have family meals together and make dinner the planned family time with the rest of the time everyone doing their own thing. She can even have a nice dinner alone with the kids (maybe on the Animators Palette show night) while you do Palo and one night she and her friend can do palo and you can have an "immediate family only" dinner. Definately make sure her room is not next to yours and it will feel a lot more like you are visiting together at certain points in your vacation rather than "vacationing together"

Lisa

 

[jgalecpa]

Some good tips here.

A few thought so my own, since similar things have happened to me in the past.

1. Pre-arrange excursions, and don't tell anyone the specifics. This way when you have a day on the island planned you have your time.

2. Arrange times together like shows, etc. where everyone can be together without too much hassle.

3. Don't set Palo reservations at the same time.

While I come from a big family and love them all dearly, but in differing amounts at different times.
Jim

 

[markey]

As much as I love our cruises if my MIL came with I would stay at home! I avoid her as much as possible while at home, to be trapped on a ship with her would not make a vacation for me. And this is after 36 years of marriage!

 

[WDWLVR]

DarleneSutton,

We had an ajoining room with my in-laws. After a not so happy trip with them last October I was dreading the cruise (which was already booked). Made up my mind not to let them get to me and also to refuse to lead them by the hand every step of the way (which we did in October and then they complained about everything we did).

So DH and I sat down and picked out excursions we knew we would love (and truth be told at least one we knew my MIL would not do). Then we gave them the list and told them they were on their own!

That way we had our time alone and it was great. We saw them at dinner and many other meals, but we weren't tied to them. One funny story from the trip. Thursday night DH went down to the internet and I was in the room watching Disney Dreams on TV. I decided to do some packing so I wouldn't be rushed on Castaway Cay day. Well my FIL saw the suitcase open and asked what I was doing. When I told him he immediately turned to my MIL who was enjoying reading a book and said "Mary's packing you better too". Ok maybe it isn't funny to you, but since we've noticed lately that they seem to be so competitive with us it struck me as very funny.

Bottom line - the ship is plenty big. Be upfront (or just be sneaky like I did) and you'll have time for just the two of you!

 

[piglet33]

Originally posted by markey
As much as I love our cruises if my MIL came with I would stay at home! I avoid her as much as possible while at home, to be trapped on a ship with her would not make a vacation for me. And this is after 36 years of marriage!

LOL, I was thinking the same thing. My MIL and I do not agree on anything. I'm just glad we live in NJ and she lives in GA. By the way, Caller ID is a wonderful thing!

What does your hubby say about her coming along?

 

[Jeepers Lady]

better not get my dm on the ship with us or I'll have to see if Fireplug is right about the MIL lounge
these ships are awesome in size and have all kinds of little nooks to tuck yourself into hope you have a wonderful time

 

[jrabbit]

Make sure that your reservations are NOT linked together. Then maybe you will be in different dinning rotations If you do have different rotations and are in the early seating there will be almost no chance of them being able to change dinning assignments to match up with yours.

 

[markey]

DH would feel the same way, but not for the same reasons. He just would not want us both on the same ship!

 

[Ethelina]

We are cruising with our family, his folks, my folks & my niece and her friend total of 10. We have all read the Passporter and we do have our dining linked for main seating. In-laws & my folks have already said that the only time we will see them is at dinner!! I think no entertainment will be required by you. I would sit together at dinner just so everyone feels like it is "family time".

BTW, forget to pack the two-way radios heehee

Good Luck & send some luck my way too. I might need it more with DM & MIL

 

[justmestace]

This is a tough one. If it were my MIL, I wouldn't go. She doesn't even know that my daughter is getting married and we're going on the cruise. We have enough people in our group of 20 who don't get along, without adding her to it. I have been worried about how everyone will get along, and worrying about how to keep them all happy. Finally realized that it wasn't my job to keep them happy. They chose to come, and luckily, we have chosen some of the same things to do, but also some different things. And it is true, the ship is big enough that you could get "lost". I just might come up missing myself.
I did make sure that the people who needed to be "separated" didn't have rooms near eachother. And these are all adults. Don't feel bad, it happens in the best of families. It would be a good idea to gently mention that you & DH want some alone time, we did, and everyone was great about it. My parents even offered to watch the kids for us, and they never do that!!
Good luck!