Is this a bit tacky or no?

[micksterlee]

I hate to say it but we have been married over 20 years and we still have a couple crystal pie plates in the boxes in the garage. I almost always give cash as a wedding gift, the color of money seems to go with everything. Maybe if you don t want to donate to the trip you could buy them some Disney T shirts or hats for the trip.

 

[martyshoney]

110% tacky! If they cannot afford to go on a honeymoon that is extravagent than they need to go elsewhere. That would turn me off about even getting them anything, I would feel like they would not appreciate what they did get b/c all they wanted was money for their honeymoon. I went to a wedding a few years ago and the invitation said in lieu of gifts they would have a wishing well, I thought that was extremely tacky also.

 

[bgirldeb]

This was what I didn't like. The couple is planning(or they want to) a concierge level stay at the Grand Floridian with all the bells and whistles for 10 days. When I tell her she could definitely have a great disney vacation for far less, the bride looks at me like I asked her to murder the Pope. They have made the deposit and are hoping that they can get 1/2 the cost from the guest.

Oh my! I was going to post that it was tacky in the first place before reading this post. Totally tacky!

I don't have a problem with bridal registries or baby shower registries, especially for first weddings and babies, because people need a lot of essential items, and registries can help to avoid duplicate gifts. Registries should NEVER be mentioned in wedding invitations, however, and I see that a LOT!

 

[Luvamouse]

but bgirldeb--love your Tag!!

Sometimes when I'm in the hair care aisle I have to go sniff the Aussie scrunch spray

I understand and commiserate with you... it's so hard to do this with other people in the aisles...

 

[Mouse511]

This seems to be more "common" now for bridal showers. I haven't been invited to any weddings recently where they have included this in the wedding invitation. For showers, I always buy off the registry to ensure the couple gets what they really want. I registered for my bridal shower and I thought it was great and many people commented on how easy it was. For weddings, DH and I always give cash.

 

[bgirldeb]

but bgirldeb--love your Tag!!



I understand and commiserate with you... it's so hard to do this with other people in the aisles...

My very first tag! Right after I posted that sentence on a thread about big '80s hairstyles I had a feeling the Tag Fairy might pay me a visit!

 

[drakethib]

Very Tacky IMHO.

 

[puddleduck]

As for the guests paying for "pieces of the honeymoon"...hmm...I guess I have a different definition of cool. "Cool" to me is a charity registry, with the caveat that the bride and groom do not pay any attention to who gave what, because there should be no pressure or expectation. "Cool" to me is my friend that recently married, asking anyone that was able to give what they could to the local animal shelter. For pity's sake, if people already have a house, and don't want for Tupperware or a blender, and can afford a wedding planner-type wedding, IMO it's alotta nerve asking/expecting others to pay for their vacation.

I totally agree. Wedding gifts are intended to help the couple set up house. If they are already set up-then they don't need to ask for gifts. Guests of course are more than welcome to give gifts (money or actual material gift), but the couple shouldn't expect or ask for it.

When I was married 11 yrs ago, I was still in college and my dh was just a year out of college. We did not go on any kind of honeymoon or trip until our 2nd anniversary and never would have dreamed of asking other people to pay for a honeymoon. We were just happy to have family who new we needed dishes (not china), towels, sheets and the other neccesaties of setting up a household. I wasn't even completely sure of what all we would need, so if anyone asked, I just told them to give us something they have found useful. One well-off relative gave us a $100 saucepan, we quickly returned it for a vacuum cleaner. What was I going to do with a $100 saucepan?

 

[UrsulasShadow]

I think it's tacky to ask for ANYthing. The wedding invitation is simply to share in the couple's joy, and to have witnesses to a binding contract (ridiculously traditional, but there it is). If you choose to give a gift, give what you want, or feel is appropriate, or needed. Registries-tacky. Money is always appreciated, and so that is usually what I give. How the happy couple chooses to use that gift is NONE OF MY BUSINESS!

 

[manda40475]

Honestly, I'm one of very few that doesn't think it's tacky. I think it's a neat idea and I would be more willing to contribute that way. Of course I'm a fan of giving money anyway because I want the person to buy something they actually need or will use. I think the disney dollars is a wonderful idea though!!! I may do that for this Christmas since my family is taking a WDW vacation.

My first wedding I was only 19. My wedding was under $1000, no registry, no bridal shower, and no honeymoon. I just remarried a year ago and this time I went the courthouse route. Even though it was dh's first time around, he didn't want the wedding either. So again, no registry, no shower or reception, and no honeymoon. Talk about really being cheap! LOL

 

[mystic_path]

WOW!!! That is really tacky. Thats like a charity case if your asking me. The couple should be paying for their own honeymoon. If anyone was to help them out, it should be their parents.

 

[JPN4265]

So very Tacky!!!!

 

[Best_Vacation_EVER!]

A few years ago we were invited to wedding where the invitation requested "Rather than bringing gifts, please bring a card with your well wishes for the happy couple. If you wish to offer a gift, a charitable donation to the charity of your choice made in honour of the occasion would be appreciated." Very classy I thought.

Definitely wouldn't send $ for the honeymoon. While most weddings nowadays request cash presentation (and probably is often used for the honeymoon) it seems extremely tacky to request that you send $ to a third party specifically for a honeymoon.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

Okay, just my two cents....

As far as a gift registry, I always thought it was for the ease and convinience of the guests. If you would like to buy a gift for the bride and groom, it takes the guess work out of what they might like or need.

Now, my sister is getting married in July of 07. She and her fiance have lived together, first in an apartment and then a house, for almost three years. There simply isn't much that they need. My sister is the kind of person that appreciates gifts of senntimental value over those of monetary value. It was her intention to not to register at all, anywhere. A few of us (family and friends) tried to explain to her that some people really depend on a registry. Her response? "I don't want people to feel like they have to go out and shop and spend their money on stuff I don't really need."

About a month later, she and her fiance are headed to the travel agency to book their honeymoon. Like any reasonable person, they went with cash in hand to pay a 50% deposit on a honeymoon that they can afford to pay for. The travel agent suggested the honeymoon registry. Not something my sis had ever even heard of. Her first response was "Ewww, no thank you, we can pay for this ourselves" The travel agent offered another point of view.

It is something you can use vs. china place settings.

Nothing to ship, nothing to break, nothing to cart to the wedding.

The bride and groom don't have to know the value of each gift, just the balance due two weeks prior to the wedding. They are simply sent a small card indicating that a gift was given and by whom.

Those wishing to give a gift may do so with any form of payment.

Well, she is not completely convinced that this is something she will do. I personally think she is waiting for some feedback from people, but she recently received a wedding invitation from a friend with a honeymoon registry. She did say it gave her a different perspective.

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

A few years ago we were invited to wedding where the invitation requested "Rather than bringing gifts, please bring a card with your well wishes for the happy couple. If you wish to offer a gift, a charitable donation to the charity of your choice made in honour of the occasion would be appreciated." Very classy I thought.

Definitely wouldn't send $ for the honeymoon. While most weddings nowadays request cash presentation (and probably is often used for the honeymoon) it seems extremely tacky to request that you send $ to a third party specifically for a honeymoon.

That is an extremely classy thing to do. I would never think twice if the bride and groom even requested the money to go to a charity of THEIR choosing.

 

[MomPOM]

Tackety-tack-tacky!

 

[grumpy-gramps]

Hi,
Tackey, tackey, tackey.
If you can't afford to pay than you shouldn't play.

grumpy-gramps

 

[rosiejo]

I've not read all of the posts but I'm guessing tacky is winning.

My DH and I set up a website for our gift registry - where each element of our honeymoon to WDW was listed - from park tickets to hotel stay to candlelit dinners for two.

Our friends and family selected gifts and paypal-ed the money to us - and we used it to pay off our honeymoon.

I have to say that I was much happier telling the gift giver about the special time we had thanks to their gifts and sharing photos than saying - dear aunt Mable thanks for the toaster.

My DH and I "lived in sin" before we were married and had all the household items we needed - and as neither of us are very materialistic the thought of replacing these with expensive items just for the sake of it filled us with dread.

Besides we had a disney wedding so why not a disney gift registry??

JMHO

 

[ksjayhawkfan]

I don't think it's "tacky".

Maybe not traditional?

But I would prefer to help people out with their honeymoon. I would prefer to give people what they truly want...period.

I have grown to absolutely hate the whole wedding thing. So many rules you have to follow. Never in my life have I cared about fancy china, crystal, etc. But suddenly, I become engaged and have to pretend I want that stuff. I have to suddenly fit into some traditional mode.

Some people like that stuff. Some people do not. Marriage should not have to be about conforming to what society wants us to be.

If people would rather have vacations than material objects that sit gathering dust....I'd say fine!

But this is coming from someone who occasionally look at her engagement ring and says "I could sell this stupid little thing and get us a weekend at a delux resort!"

I totally 100% agree with everything you said.

 

[MiniGirl]

A few years ago we were invited to wedding where the invitation requested "Rather than bringing gifts, please bring a card with your well wishes for the happy couple. If you wish to offer a gift, a charitable donation to the charity of your choice made in honour of the occasion would be appreciated." Very classy I thought.

Yep. This is what Dh and I did as well. We had been living together for several years, bought a small town house together, and didn't really need anything. We honestly fet funny about people buying gifts for us. Now, some family and friends that knew us well did buy us a gift as well as make a charitable donation, and we appreciated that. However, those who didn't know us well or those we hadn't seen in ages simply donated to a charity, and that was great, too.
Eva