Is this "normal"?

[dawnball]

Now, I know that normal is a pretty loose thing - but so much of my family on both sides is Aspie that I can't sort out what passes for normal in my family vs what passes for normal in the real world.

DD is 2 (almost 3) and she's very intelligent, and has a very academic bias. She doesn't really have any interest in other kids, which I think of as normal at 2. She kind of plays beside them and will point out other children as existing, but has no idea what the names of any of the other children (or adults) at daycare are.

The more concerning behavior is a crowd issue though. When she's been around a lot of people (daycare days) and is out in a non-crowded but public location or is in a crowded location (costco on a weekend, a busy grocery store) without prior crowd exposure that day she kind of goes nuts.

She'll start licking me, or kicking me, or head butting. Or she'll start yelling.. things. Not obscenities, the last few of times it happened she was yelling "The... WATER... FOUNTAIN.. is... BLOCKEDOFF!" And she'll yell loudly enough to make my ears ring. In a stroller she'll strain against the If we spin her in circles it helps. If we hold her upside down and bounce her it helps. However, those only work if we recognize that she's on the edge and try before the fit and they're getting exhausting as she gets larger. Otherwise she's just done for the day.. you take her home and she runs in (literal) circles, crawls on the floor, and strews toys everywhere.

It was kind of slow change in behaviour (over maybe a month) but she's still very well behaved when there isn't a crowd. I don't know if this is her figuring out how to push my buttons or if we should consider having her evaluated.

DH refuses to go into the same situations that set her off because they make him miserable and I've occasionally had claustrophobic attacks (I'm not normally claustrophobic) in similar situations. So this comes up maybe once a week when we've planned badly.

I shudder to think how bad it could be at WDW in May. At least the crowds should be fairly light.

 

[tink2dw]

It sounds as if it would be a good Idea to have her observed by an expert in Aspie or a childrens behavoral expert. Or as a start your Childs Doctor.

 

[AJKMOM]

Make sure you stand your ground and if you feel things are not right, keep trying until you get an answer. When DS was 2, I felt things weren't OK, but his pediatrician was adamant nothing was wrong. Well, I insisted we go for some testing, and the doctor was wrong. By 3, DS had an autism diagnosis. Pediatricians response "I wish there was a pill or something for that". Needless to say, we quit going to him.

 

[riu girl]

When DD was a toddler she had similar instances, usually from crowds or noise. If we were out for a walk and a large noisy truck would pass by, she would start to scream and stim (shake her hands). And then I would have to bounce her up and down to calm her down. She was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder by around age 3/4 and went into intensive therapy with an OT. As a baby/newborn she was also classed as failure to thrive, infantile anorexia, bulima. Life was rough here. The sensory stuff was so bad, that whenever she had food in her mouth she would stim so bad, that she usually vomited. Days would go by and she wouldn't eat at all. She was hospitalized a lot for dehydration.


The good news is, she is now almost 10 and the OT who worked with her for a long time said if she as to reassess, she would come up negative or maybe borderline for SID.

She still stims (shakes her hands) when really excited/happy but it occurs less and less. But besides shaking her hands, no other unusual behaviours (She does have ADHD and some anxiety issues but that is a different subject). Her diet is excellent and she overcome all her eating issues as well.

I think for DD, early intervention was the key, and since your daughter is so young, perhaps a diagnose (I mean if in fact she has SID or aspergers, who knows perhaps what is is experiencing is just a phase of some sort) and intense OT may also help. I don't know how things work where you live, but in our situation, I found without the diagnose, we would not have received the OT.

The best thing we ever did was to buy her a one person trampoline (that fits in a house, I think it was about 4 ft. across). By the age of 4 or 5, she would recognize when she wasn't feeling good, and would take herself to the trampoline and jump for awhile. It would calm her right down, no meltdown nothing. Then she would just get back to what she was doing like nothing had happened. Since we couldn't take the trampoline everywhere, when she started reading we would take a book with us. If things got too hectic for her, we would encourage her to look at the book. She is now almost 10 and hasn't had to use the trampoline for a couple of years. If things get too hectic for her, without being told, she takes herself to her bedroom, shuts her door and reads. Then she comes back fine.



Perhaps you could consider talking to the dr. about a SID assessment and maybe you might consider a small trampoline if your daughter does have some sensory issues. Sensory wise, does she eat ok? If not, please let me know and I can tell you about a miracle medication (at least for DD) that got DD FINALLY eating.
Good luck with your daughter and please feel free to ask anything specific or pm me.

 

[dawnball]

DD eats decently. She seems to eat a lot, but is around 7th percentile for weight. That's up from 3rd, so fairly happy. Of course she's 90+ percentile for height... but as long as she has clothes on she looks ok.

I think that this is actually more of a me and DH issue than an issue with her. He sees none of the behaviors I do and thinks that it is her reacting to something I do or that I put her in more stressful situations than he does. However - he has aspergers and doesn't see anything "wrong" with it. His answer is to say "I would be surprised if she didn't have aspergers, but there's no proven treatment other than fish oil so there's no point in getting a diagnosis. She'll just be an accountant or an engineer." His surprise is based on genetic factors rather than noticing symptoms.

So he and I need to sort out what we would like to do. Typing this out I wonder if his point of view is that there isn't a cure and that she'll learn coping skills on her own if presented with situations at the edge of her competence. I don't know if therapy would be less stressful for her/more successful than his method or not. I'll have to think about that.