Living Wills for your Child over 18, do they have one?

[Chuck-PA]

We attended a seminar at our local hospital and it was suggested that we have a Living Will for our son who has Cystic Fibrosis since he will be 18 in April. They will be asking for a copy with each admission he may have.

Does your child have one? If so, how did you approach the subject with them, without frightening them?

We were considering have our son's social worker talk with all of us together at a future visit to the CF Center as a start.

We have talked earlier this year when there was the debate with the Florida woman on life support between husband and her parents, asking him what his thoughts on the subject but nothing decisive.

 

[Ali and boyz]

Over here in the UK it is 16 and my son had just turned 16 when he had his accident. The bit I found more upsetting more so than the will issue was that doctors here can discuss things on a one-one with him without his parents present. I don't think that sometimes all 16 year olds, and even older arn't mature enough or can cope to handle things on their own and I for one wouldn't even like to be on my own when getting told bad news or make huge decissions but 16 is the law here.

Our son took the will issue quite good to be honest. we let our lawyer deal with it (although obviousley we told him why a will had to be made) and he dealt with it in a light frame of mind. made jokes about where his money was to go etc if we all behaved. i think i found it all more upsetting than him because we or I should say I when we get older see wills as a very final thing. If your son has a good relationship with the SW and you find it upsetting then that might be the answer. in our case our son wasn't and isn't that close to the SW so this wouldn't have worked whereby he had a good relationship with our lawyer. You could even do wills a family and then he might not think you ar singling him out.

 

[Chuck-PA]

He is not close to his social worker. He is close to the Doctor, so maybe I could have the doctor touch on it a bit. We like your idea of a family thing, since we do not even have a normal will let alone the living will.

Thanks for your help

 

[Ali and boyz]

doing something together might not be such a scary thing for him all be it a different type of will. Its amazing how many people within a "normal" family even don't have wills.

My son is really close to is doctor to but I never even gave him a thought but would now if anything crops up in the future.

good luck
Ali

 

[DVCLiz]

He is not close to his social worker. He is close to the Doctor, so maybe I could have the doctor touch on it a bit. We like your idea of a family thing, since we do not even have a normal will let alone the living will.

Thanks for your help

Hi, Chuck - just browsing and this thread caught my eye. My daughter isn't disabled, but she too will turn 18 this year, and there are family reasons to include her in some long-range planning, etc. So it might be that you could simply tell your son that because he's 18, it's time for some "adult" paperwork that all grown ups have to deal with in their lifetime. Just thought you'd like to know that some of us are dealing with the same issue, (without the disability part of it). I will probably have my daughter make a will and a living will when she is 18, or shortly thereafter. I think it would be a good idea if schools taught this kind of information so kids could become more educated, regardless of their circumstances!!!

 

[SueM in MN]

Hi, Chuck - just browsing and this thread caught my eye. My daughter isn't disabled, but she too will turn 18 this year, and there are family reasons to include her in some long-range planning, etc. So it might be that you could simply tell your son that because he's 18, it's time for some "adult" paperwork that all grown ups have to deal with in their lifetime. Just thought you'd like to know that some of us are dealing with the same issue, (without the disability part of it). I will probably have my daughter make a will and a living will when she is 18, or shortly thereafter. I think it would be a good idea if schools taught this kind of information so kids could become more educated, regardless of their circumstances!!!

That sounds like a very good way to handle it.
Also, I think you can find living wills on the internet. I haven't looked myself, but I have seen some in patient's charts where I work that look like they were downloaded and then the personal information was written in.