May & Mother's Day isn't easy for everyone

[chrisney]

Beautiful post @LuvOrlando

Mother’s Day is a mixed emotions holiday for me…..

Happy….because I still have my wonderful mother, a wonderful MIL and my DD19 who is my best friend.

Sad….because I miss my grandma (RIP) who I miss horribly still after her passing away 17 years ago - she was one of my most trusted advisers. Also sad because my DD24 has left me/us due to a horrible husband who brainwashed her into thinking his family is the only way for her, and she has kept us from our grandchildren. I am a grandma that can’t hug and love her grandchildren - my grandson is 2yrs old (haven’t seen him since he was 10 months old) and my granddaughter is 10 months old (we never met her - we were never told she was born - I found out from others that saw it on Facebook). We send the children gifts and we don’t even get a picture in return. I always wanted to be the type of grandma my grandma was to me, and that was robbed from me, so needless to say, seeing grandma cards on Mother’s Day is double depressing for me.

Oh my, the pieces of my heart go out to you. My daughter could be who you are talking about. Today is her birthday, so I sent her an email and of course have heard nothing back. I have a son also, who has his own problems...so Mothers Day is not something I look forward to with joy but with regret. Treat yourself well, and spend the day with the people who do love you. You are not responsible for her bad choices, unfortunately you have to suffer from them.

 

[notatallmagic]

For many years, Mother's Day was difficult for me as motherhood seemed as if it would never happen.

I was eventually blessed with two children; one I gave birth to; one who was entrusted to me via adoption. As they are now almost grown, and since I have lost my mother five years ago, there are definitely many emotions that go along with this time of year.

My kiddos' other parent (they don't call him "father") left when they were very young. Father's Day has been rough for my oldest, so a while ago, they started calling it "Second Mothers Day". I thought that was funny

 

[slo]

Oh my, the pieces of my heart go out to you. My daughter could be who you are talking about. Today is her birthday, so I sent her an email and of course have heard nothing back. I have a son also, who has his own problems...so Mothers Day is not something I look forward to with joy but with regret. Treat yourself well, and spend the day with the people who do love you. You are not responsible for her bad choices, unfortunately you have to suffer from them.

Thank you and hugs to you
I’m sorry to hear about how your kids are with you. We all need to stick together to remind each other we are good Moms. Take care and God bless!!!

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Thank you and hugs to you
I’m sorry to hear about how your kids are with you. We all need to stick together to remind each other we are good Moms. Take care and God bless!!!

I can't wrap my head around what you are going through. I would be delighted if you were my mother in law or my child's grandparent. Saying that may hurt more than it helps. But you have always struck me as a kind and caring mom who is involved in their kids' lives. I'm so sorry for you.

It isn't the same, but I am hurt and surprised about the relationship my brother allows me to create with my niece. Growing up my brother and I were best friends. I would have thought it would have been different, but it appears we aren't that valued and especially not compared to my SIL's family who have $$$. It's been a lot to swallow but I do what I have to in order to have contact with my niece. I can't imagine your pain. I sincerely wish you some peace in the future. My heart breaks for you.

 

[slo]

I can't wrap my head around what you are going through. I would be delighted if you were my mother in law or my child's grandparent. Saying that may hurt more than it helps. But you have always struck me as a kind and caring mom who is involved in their kids' lives. I'm so sorry for you.

It isn't the same, but I am hurt and surprised about the relationship my brother allows me to create with my niece. Growing up my brother and I were best friends. I would have thought it would have been different, but it appears we aren't that valued and especially not compared to my SIL's family who have $$$. It's been a lot to swallow but I do what I have to in order to have contact with my niece. I can't imagine your pain. I sincerely wish you some peace in the future. My heart breaks for you.

Thank you - I sincerely appreciate your kind thoughts and words.
Hugs to you with what’s happening in your family. Aunts are definitely an important part of a child’s life and God bless you for trying to be a part of your niece’s life - she will never forget it.

 

[LuvOrlando]

For those of you hurt by the insensitivity of others I have a funny one you can use:

 

[LuvOrlando]

This is where my mind is settling today:

 

[radishtoaster]

Just want to say I’m really glad I saw this today, so thanks @LuvOrlando for helping me to take a minute to breathe and feel seen.

I’ve been piecing life back together this year after my daughter was born at 18weeks and this will be my first Mother’s Day since. I have two other kiddos and I know this holiday is going to be hard for me, as will many to come I’m sure.

You never know what someone else is going through, for sure. Any holidays are a good time to think of that, so thanks!

This thread has so many strong women who have collectively been through so much, I would like to pass out a virtual hug to all of you

 

[LuvOrlando]

 

[LuvOrlando]

Yesterday and today I am deliberately putting kindness in the world to balance it in my way, this ^ is my 2 day mantra.

I've posted a lot about moving. We decided that instead of selling the duplicate furniture we have we will be rehoming it all. One of our kids' friends' families lost everything a few years back in a particularly bad divorce so we are gifting them a bedroom set, 3 couches and a kitchen set. The rest will go to Habitat for Humanity.

I can't control what others do or have done but I can control the me, maybe it will make a ripple of good in the water.

 

[Marrila]

Yesterday and today I am deliberately putting kindness in the world to balance it in my way, this ^ is my 2 day mantra.

I've posted a lot about moving. We decided that instead of selling the duplicate furniture we have we will be rehoming it all. One of our kids' friends' families lost everything a few years back in a particularly bad divorce so we are gifting them a bedroom set, 3 couches and a kitchen set. The rest will go to Habitat for Humanity.

I can't control what others do or have done but I can control the me, maybe it will make a ripple of good in the water.

What a beautiful plan.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I struggle with the day myself. I do not have a good track-record with Mother's day. I just try to hide it and move on. It started when I was a young teenager, my cat died on Mother's Day. My grandmother passed on mothers day when I was older. I also no longer have a mother. So yea, I like to just gloss over the day like it isn't a thing.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...so a while ago, they started calling it "Second Mothers Day". I thought that was funny

(RE: Fathers Day) - I love that!! You definitely deserve two holidays.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I struggle with the day myself. I do not have a good track-record with Mother's day. I just try to hide it and move on. It started when I was a young teenager, my cat died on Mother's Day. My grandmother passed on mothers day when I was older. I also no longer have a mother. So yea, I like to just gloss over the day like it isn't a thing.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Just want to say I’m really glad I saw this today, so thanks @LuvOrlando for helping me to take a minute to breathe and feel seen.

I’ve been piecing life back together this year after my daughter was born at 18weeks and this will be my first Mother’s Day since. I have two other kiddos and I know this holiday is going to be hard for me, as will many to come I’m sure.

You never know what someone else is going through, for sure. Any holidays are a good time to think of that, so thanks!

This thread has so many strong women who have collectively been through so much, I would like to pass out a virtual hug to all of you

Glad you found us.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Today my mind was hovering here, my body was not but my mind was

 

[LuvOrlando]

Went to Wegmans today and bought myself some purple tulips and sunflowers, it really is the little things

 

[LuvOrlando]

Today, I'll make room for a bit of melancholy.
I like this word, it captures the weird space I find myself in sometimes.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my Mom's death. It was peaceful, and she was ready to leave. I wasn't ready to let her go, but I had to. Cancer takes the family along with the deceased in some ways. I got a tattoo to honor her. It's her favorite flower, a yellow rose, growing out of a purple heart. When I went to see my psychiatrist the week after her death and showed him the new tattoo, I said the purple heart symbolized fighting even though wounded in the battle. I remember he asked me then if the purple heart was for my Mom or me. Made me think. I guess it was for me.

Anyway, I miss her so much. I miss my father too, but my Mom was my...I can almost say 'soulmate.' When she passed, a part of me went with her.

 

[PollyannaMom]

@BlueStarryHat