Need Advice or simpathetic ear(s)

[Cinderpals]

Hi!

I recently have "given" a friend a stay at a DVC with my points. She was to have watched my kids for me when my husband and I went to WDW for an Anniversary Weekend and my dog too! That was proposed by her instead of paying for the points. Since then, she is going alone, getting a divorce .... and not able to watch my dog, let alone the kids (I don't feel comfortable with her watching the kids in her situation anyway). My husband and I are not going (not related to her not being able to watch the kids) for other reasons. She has never since offered to pay for the points, help to find someone who could take care of the dog (we're going away for Thanksgiving), or even to watch my kids (which I really wouldn't let her do anyway at this point). She's been going to concerts, and has enough money to go to WDW by herself obviously. I've waited too long to change the reservation. I could have easily rented out the points to someone else, or at least, used them for another vacation.

 

[castleri]

Are you sure it is too late to try to rent the reservation on the rent trade board? All you would need to do is change the name on the ressie and negotiate a quick payment method - you have total control of those points until they are used. I would just say that since she would be unable to uphold her end of the "contract" you don't feel obligated to provide a free vacation. It doesn't sound like she is much of a friend but only you can know that - If she was IMO she would have done at least one of the things you mentioned such as offer to pay for the points. I hope this works out for you.

 

[senecabeach]

I recently have "given" a friend a stay at a DVC with my points. She was to have watched my kids for me when my husband and I went to WDW for an Anniversary Weekend and my dog too! That was proposed by her instead of paying for the points. Since then, she is going alone, getting a divorce .... and not able to watch my dog, let alone the kids (I don't feel comfortable with her watching the kids in her situation anyway).

First..I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you. As you stated your plans have also changed and will be cancelling this trip.

As hard as it might be, I have always found that "Open and Honest" communication IS necessary.

I would TELL her that since both of your plans have changed...You are NOT able to provide "FREE" lodging for her and she may rent the points from you or you will cancel the ressies. Period!!

 

[Dean]

What's right depends in part on how conditional the gift was. If it was presented to her as "payment" for her watching the dog and kids, you may want to offer her options of renting it out or her paying you. Only you know the circumstances and therefore, only you can decide what's the best course.

 

[Cinderpals]

What's right depends in part on how conditional the gift was. If it was presented to her as "payment" for her watching the dog and kids, you may want to offer her options of renting it out or her paying you. Only you know the circumstances and therefore, only you can decide what's the best course.

No, it was never "presented" to her like that, she came up with that part of it since she knew that we were trying to get to WDW for our Anniversary. These are the circumstances, and I posted this thread because sometimes it's easier to see the situation "outside" of the emotional part of it. Like the 1st two repliers were able to see, and offer clear advice. Thanks to them, I know what to do! It was confirming. (I was feeling sorry for her in regards to her situation--reason why it's been hard to take action)

 

[edingerc]

This isn't hard at all. Your friend proposed this arraignment as a quid pro quo (a this for that). Since she can't deliver on her end of the deal, you're not obligated to deliver on your end either.

My question for you though, is this: It's too late to cancel the ressie. Did you procrastinate while the situation went downhill until it was too late, because you didn't want to "be a jerk?" If so, then there's a lesson in this for you - kindness is good but money is business. Decide which of those two is your focus for doing this and stick to what you wanted to do.

 

[Cinderpals]

This isn't hard at all. Your friend proposed this arraignment as a quid pro quo (a this for that). Since she can't deliver on her end of the deal, you're not obligated to deliver on your end either.

My question for you though, is this: It's too late to cancel the ressie. Did you procrastinate while the situation went downhill until it was too late, because you didn't want to "be a jerk?" If so, then there's a lesson in this for you - kindness is good but money is business. Decide which of those two is your focus for doing this and stick to what you wanted to do.

Yes!! You're sooo good! And, more money leads to the ability to exhibit more kindness...I've been irresponsible in this situation to say the least. Been there, done that! Lesson being learned.

Thank you!!

 

[edingerc]

Yes!! You're sooo good! And, more money leads to the ability to exhibit more kindness...I've been irresponsible in this situation to say the least. Been there, done that! Lesson being learned.

Thank you!!

To live is to learn. Congrats on learning from a very human misstep.